Double Junk - 134

“……”

After glancing at Ajin for a moment, Seokju looked at the top of Ajin’s feet. His ankles, which had been hurt by the shackles, had mostly healed. He didn’t need bandages anymore. There were only faint bruises left, but Seokju’s brow furrowed as if he had seen a serious scar.

Seokju applied ointment generously on the tops of Ajin’s feet as well. While doing so, he gently massaged the cold feet. He gathered all the toes in his large hand at once, and stroked the heels with his palms. Ajin knew that his touch had nothing to do with treatment, but he didn’t say anything.

It wasn’t that he was usually quiet. Strangely, the silence felt comfortable. It wasn’t bad watching Seokju restlessly trying to read the meaning behind his silence while observing him.

After Seokju checked Ajin’s wrists and ankles, he examined various parts of Ajin’s body. It seemed like he was trying to fix the accidents he had caused. Ajin simply let his body go limp.

Around the time the cola bottle was empty, as Seokju was massaging Ajin’s bandaged wrist, he muttered,

“Why should you be in pain? If anyone should be in pain, it’s me.”

“……”

“All the suffering, misfortune, and sadness – I’ll take it all, Ajin.”

Ajin, who had been looking down, looked up at him at the gentle yet powerful voice. His lush eyelashes fluttering slowly were so beautiful. Seokju stared into his eyes and continued speaking.

“So don’t push yourself too far. Don’t drive yourself to the edge, or to death. You don’t have to.”

“……”

“Keep on living.”

“……”

“Live, and punish me.”

I’ll accept whatever punishment you give me, so just stay alive.

* * *

These days, Ajin keenly felt that he was not destined to be a nobleman. The reason was none other than sleep. Sleep.

He simply couldn’t sleep at all. It wasn’t that he was taking naps during the day, but because he lazed around all day, his mind was wide awake at night when he lay down. At first he thought it was because the bed was too luxurious. But it was because he wasn’t expending enough energy to be sleepy.

Previously, he used to run around the entire house from early morning, sweeping the yard, wiping the floors, cooking, doing dishes, until he was completely exhausted and passed out. Now, he didn’t even use as much energy as to grow a fingernail, so of course he couldn’t sleep at night.

Today was no different.

Ajin watched the flow sleep soundly for a while, pulled up her blanket, and then came out onto the wooden floor. It was nearing midnight, the time when the whole world ended the day and prepared for tomorrow.

In that serene moment, only Ajin was unable to welcome the next day, dilly-dallying.

Stretching his bare feet down from the wooden floor, he quietly gazed up at the star-studded night sky. Whenever he wiggled his feet, the gravel scraped against his soles like sandpaper, and the peculiar feeling was so pleasant that he kept wiggling them restlessly.

How long had he been like that? His nose was starting to feel a slight chill. Even spring that had overcome the harsh winter lost some of its vigor at night. But Ajin didn’t go inside to get clothes. He just endured stoically.

Then, there were footsteps, step by step, at a regular pace. The sound rapidly approached and stopped right next to Ajin. Ajin easily guessed who it belonged to. Turning his head slightly, he saw Seokju standing there holding a basket.

Seokju seemed surprised. He didn’t seem to have expected to encounter Ajin.

“……”

He took a step back, shook the basket, then turned around for no reason as if pondering, took a deep breath, and came closer. He set the basket down a little away from Ajin. As always, it contained one kind of fruit and various snacks.

Ajin glanced at it and turned his gaze back to the sky. Strangely, his nose that had been cold a moment ago felt warm now.

Even though Seokju had accomplished his purpose, he didn’t leave. Ajin was keenly aware of his presence, but didn’t say anything. After all, this was Seokju’s house, and there was nowhere he couldn’t go. Ajin didn’t want to open his mouth and tell him to leave, even though Seokju would leave if told.

Then, a warm temperature settled on Ajin’s shoulders. It was Seokju’s overcoat, thoroughly imbued with his body heat. Ajin looked up at Seokju.

“It gets cold at night. Put on some clothes. You catch colds easily.”

“……”

Ajin glanced at the oversized overcoat like a blanket and fell silent again. A broad smile appeared on Seokju’s lips at that silence. After rolling his eyes and glancing around, he casually sat down on the wooden floor, not too close to Ajin, but close enough that his eyelashes were visible.

“……”

“……”

The two gazed up at the same sky without a word. Ajin’s foot that had been brushing against the gravel came to a halt because his feet were cold. He hugged his knees and vigorously rubbed his frozen toes. Then, a low voice drifted in on the night breeze.

“Why are you out here instead of sleeping?”

Ajin rested his chin on his knees and looked at Seokju. Seokju, who had been stealing glances at him, quickly turned his head forward. Ajin stared at his side profile as he fidgeted and spoke.

“……I have nowhere to go.”

It was a strange statement. When asked why he wasn’t sleeping, he answered that he had nowhere to go. Where could he go at this late hour? However, Seokju didn’t ask further. He simply provided an answer.

“You have my room, don’t you?”

At those words, Ajin let out a soft snort.

“How shameless.”

“Well, I am rather shameless.”

Seokju replied with a faint smile, occasionally making eye contact with Ajin. His ears were red, as if he was embarrassed. His face betrayed him as he admitted he was shameless. But his actions were as brazen as ever.

Seokju shifted about a handspan closer to Ajin. It was impossible for him to slide over smoothly on his soles like that without looking ridiculous.

“You can come anytime you want.”

“……”

“I’m waiting for you every single moment, Ajin.”

“……”

“I’d really appreciate it if you came.”
Ajin let out a soundless laugh. “So shameless……” he muttered under his breath. Upon hearing it, Seokju squinted his eyes in a smile that didn’t quite suit him, yet suited him perfectly. He looked like an innocent boy.

“Slap me if I’m being annoying.”

Seokju said it jokingly, but it wasn’t a joke. If Ajin were to strike him, he could take it. He also had the ignoble intention of trying to atone for his sins that way.

But Ajin just shook his head left and right with a look that said ‘this crazy fool is speaking crazy again’, without raising his hand.

Silence fell again. This time, it was Ajin who broke it.

“Do you have…cigarettes?”

Seokju raised his eyebrows at the unexpected words. After blinking a few times, he soon took out a cigarette from his inner pocket, along with a lighter. When he offered one cigarette, Ajin took it between his lips. Seokju personally lit his cigarette.

This gave Seokju an excuse to shift a handspan closer to Ajin.

The bright red ember illuminated Ajin’s face vividly before fading away. How breathtakingly beautiful that sight was. The smoke billowing from between his plump, red lips was so tantalizing. The faint sound of his breathing as he exhaled smoke was so sensual. His heaving chest was so adorable.

“Cough……”

As Seokju was thinking how even Ajin’s coughing sounded lovely, he froze.

……Coughing?

Come to think of it, Ajin had never asked for a cigarette, even when they were inseparable. He would only give Seokju looks that seemed to say ‘Why would I want to smoke that stuff when you’re puffing away beside me all day and night?’

“It’s not my first time smoking.” Ajin hurriedly defended himself.

“I didn’t say anything.” Seokju replied.

“……”

Ajin sealed his lips tightly. Then he abruptly turned his head forward and stubbornly puffed and exhaled the smoke repeatedly with a sulky expression. The acrid smoke filling his mouth was unfamiliar. He felt like coughing too.

It was only the second time Ajin was smoking after the time he had accepted a cigarette from Myungjin before. So it was natural. Ajin kept inhaling the pungent smoke deeply into his nose.

He didn’t know why he suddenly felt like smoking a cigarette. It just happened on this cool night, in this serene silence, under the countless stars, with Seokju sitting beside him. The thought of a cigarette crossed his mind, and the words asking if Seokju had any just slipped out.

Even though he started smoking out of the blue, it wasn’t unpleasant. They say there’s nicotine and whatnot in cigarettes. He didn’t know what that was. But just slowly exhaling the smoke gave him a sense of relaxation.

Ajin kept on smoking. His act of inhaling the smoke looked awkward. Seokju’s gaze was fixated intently on his side profile.

“Why are you staring like that?”
Ajin asked without taking his eyes off the stars. Seokju curled up the corners of his mouth.

“Because you’re pretty.”
“……”
“No, handsome. You’re so very handsome.”
Ajin let out an inadvertent laugh at Seokju’s quick correction. That he was having this kind of conversation with Seokju – this very moment seemed so absurd. Well, it wasn’t like they had quality conversations in the past either. Back then, it was mostly silly jokes and vulgar banter led by Seokju.

As Ajin narrowed his eyes, reminiscing those days that felt both distant and recent, Seokju spoke up softly.

“It’s my first time seeing you smoke.”

“……”

“It suits you well.”

Ajin twisted his lips at the unexpected remark. The cigarette between his lips wobbled, and the wispy smoke wavered.

Ajin glanced at Seokju briefly before turning away again. For some reason, those words felt nice. A man who smokes suits well – wasn’t that manly? He felt proud to have his meager masculinity acknowledged by none other than Seokju.

But having such thoughts in the first place was unmanly. He was still like a green lover.

Ajin wrinkled his nose and took a deep drag of the cigarette. Then, exhaling a cloud of smoke, he asked,

“Why aren’t you sleeping, sir?”