Double Junk - 136

In the evening, there are many people at Seokju’s house. It’s because the organization members, including Seokju, have gotten off work and it’s dinnertime. The servants were also busy moving around, and the house felt lively.

Ajin came out of his room after a long time during this bustling hour. The hallway was quiet. It seemed the organization members had all gone to the tearoom to eat dinner. On top of that, it was also the birthday of an unnamed organization member today, so they would have gathered early. They would have a feast with expensive liquor.

Ajin headed to the tearoom with slow, awkward steps. His room was on the right side of the house, while Seokju’s room, Myeongjin’s room, the tearoom, etc. were on the left, so he had no reason to come to this side. The left wooden floor he was treading on after a long time felt unusual. He knew it was because of his mood, but even the creaking sounds seemed different.

When he arrived near the tearoom, Ajin leaned against the wall and caught his breath.

“Haa, haa……”

The house might be big, but he was out of breath from crossing it. If his legs were fine, this wouldn’t have happened. Ajin didn’t want to show his appearance to others, especially not to Seokju, so he hurriedly tried to control his ragged breathing.

As he did so, the loud noises from inside the tearoom could be heard clearly.

“…”

Ajin, who had been quietly listening to their conversation, peeked his head out from behind the door.

On the spacious table lined up were not only food, but all kinds of liquor bottles from soju to whiskey. Seokju was seated at the head, and familiar faces like Myeongjin and Deokjae were seated in a row.

Empty liquor bottles were lined up at the entrance of the tearoom, and their flushed faces showed that the drinking session had been going on for quite a while.

“…”

Ajin stared intently at Seokju.

Seokju’s laughing appearance seemed very strange. No, his heart felt strange looking at his laughter.

Why is he laughing? How can he laugh? In front of me, he had a dying face. He was all ups and downs at my every word. He acted like life wasn’t enjoyable at all without me. And yet he laughs like that.

He felt resentful. Disappointed too. His nose even stung annoyingly.

His handsome, laughing face looked so full of life. He seemed to have no worries at all. His face didn’t look like someone who couldn’t sleep. He didn’t seem like the person who had sat in front of his room door until late dawn just a few days ago. He wasn’t the one who gave a bitter smile saying he missed him.

Were they all lies? Was the pitiful act he put on in front of me just a petty way to atone?

Ajin squeezed his eyes shut tightly and then opened them, hanging his head low.

No. In fact, I’m the one telling lies.

Seokju wasn’t laughing so cheerfully. He just had a faint smile while holding his glass. He didn’t eat anything deliciously or talk animatedly. He merely went along with the organization members’ ramblings.

Seokju’s atmosphere was clearly different from the boisterous members.

But why do I feel so foul?

I’m tainted by Miss Flower’s death, feeling gloomy and bitter. Yet Seokju still looks so dashing and shiny, living his daily life with his many admirers. An unbecoming pettiness reared its head in me.

Is this my pathetic sense of inferiority? Or is it justifiable anger as a victim?

Ajin bit his lower lip slightly and turned to leave.

“Eh…”

One of the organization members spotted Ajin. At his exclamation, they one by one turned their heads. Seokju was included.

“…Ajin?”

Seokju, realizing Ajin’s presence, sprang up without a hint of hesitation. He put down his glass as if throwing it and strode across the tearoom. His legs were so long. He reached Ajin’s side in an instant.

“Ajin. Why? What’s wrong?”

Seokju tilted his head to the side out of habit, to match eyes with the much shorter Ajin.

Ajin bit the lip he had been gnawing on. He had come with something to say. But strangely, the words wouldn’t come out. The vibrancy emanating from Seokju and the members felt unfamiliar. The sensation of dozens of eyes on his body made him feel scrutinized.

He had known they would all be gathered and come anyway. It seemed better to speak now rather than foolishly enter Seokju’s room or wait for him to visit at dawn with a food basket.

This wasn’t a sight he hadn’t seen once or twice living in this house. Previously, he had moved between them carrying side dishes and clearing liquor bottles. He had even sat right next to Seokju at the head seat and eaten.

But why did he feel so…

Ajin hugged his elbow and hunched his shoulders. Seokju carefully took hold of his wrist.

“Come here. Let’s go somewhere quiet.”

“…”

Ajin followed him wordlessly. Many eyes trailed after the two of them. But they were completely cut off as they passed through the tearoom door. Ajin let out a breath he didn’t realize he had been holding.

Seokju led Ajin to the end of the hallway, at the junction of Seokju’s room and the main wooden floor.

This was where Seokju had once approached Ajin from behind as he was mopping. Where Seokju had misjudged Ajin as a male servant and rudely addressed him, trailing after Ajin on tenterhooks.

“Just as you’re lame, I’m an insomniac.”

“……”

“Shall we disabled people help each other out and live?”

It was that hallway where the two had begun their secretive, fantastical nights together.

As Ajin reminisced, furrowing his brows, Seokju bent over and asked worriedly: “What’s wrong? Are you in pain somewhere?”

“No…”

“Did you come out because you’re hungry?”

“No.”

“Then is Miss Flower unwell?”

“No, it’s not that either…”

“…”

At Ajin’s continuous denials, Seokju pressed his lips tightly shut. After blinking a few times, Seokju took Ajin’s hand furrowing his brows and lowered it. Then he gently stroked the back of Ajin’s hand with his large, warm hand.

“Ajin. What’s wrong?”

“…”

“Tell me. I’m worried. What happened that made you come all the way here?”

The tense Seokju licked his lower lip slightly. His mouth was dry as a bone. His heart pounded like a soldier on the battlefield. His knees, which had never faltered, felt wobbly. If Ajin dragged this out further, he might pathetically collapse.

Seokju was scared.

He couldn’t fathom at all what words would come from Ajin’s pretty lips. Because this was such an abrupt visit. He knew Ajin never left his room at this hour. He didn’t want to encounter Seokju or the members.

So why did he come here of his own will? It surely couldn’t be good news.

Is he going to say he’ll leave the house?

Is he going to leave me?

That must be it.

Then what words should I use to keep him?

Threats and violence were all I was capable of.

But I didn’t want to keep gripping Ajin with those methods anymore.

Then what should I do instead?

What could I possibly do?

My head was about to explode. I was at the point where, before Ajin could even say he would leave me, I wanted to bury my head in the floor and die.

It was then that Ajin’s lips parted slowly. Seokju held his breath and waited for what he would say.

“Roll…cake…”

“…What?”

“Please buy me just one roll cake…”

Ajin muttered while fidgeting with the hand Seokju was holding.

This morning, Miss Flower had called out to him in a hoarse voice.

“Ajin.’

“Yes?’

“I want to eat a roll cake. Remember the one we shared at dawn before? I want to eat that. I keep thinking about it.”

“……’

“Will I not get to eat it again? Though, such a fancy bread is probably expensive…”

“Why can’t you? We can just buy it again. I’ll ask the master.”

“Don’t trouble that person with such a lament.”

“It’s not a big request. The master will buy it for us.”

“……”

Miss Flower did not try to dissuade Ajin further. Instead of answering, she swallowed hard, seemingly really craving it. She had been picking at her food no matter what side dish came out these past few days. Ajin was glad she wanted something and really wanted to get her that roll cake.

“Roll cake?”

Seokju raised his eyebrows at the unexpected words.