Double Junk - 147

“You’ve arrived.”

Ajin nodded politely while sitting. Seokju, who had brought a chair like the one Ajin was sitting on, folded his long legs and sat down. His hanbok dragged on the dirt floor, but he didn’t care. His shiny dress shoes stepped into the soapy water by the sink.

“You came early again today.”

Ajin subtly moved the rag to Seokju’s opposite side as he spoke. He was concerned it might splatter onto Seokju’s expensive clothes. It wasn’t so much a consideration as it was natural. Ajin was originally a servant.

“Yes, early again today.”

“……”

“I’ll come early tomorrow too.”

Seokju said firmly. There was no assumption like ‘maybe’ when talking about tomorrow. Ajin merely raised and lowered his eyebrows, without giving a significant response. Seokju, with his arms resting on his knees, glanced at Ajin to gauge his reaction.

“If you dislike it…… I’ll stay late.”

Ajin gave a slight chuckle.

“Who would say they dislike it if you say that?”

“Doesn’t seem so?”

Seokju chuckled. The spring breeze followed his laughter. The soft breeze brushing his bangs was warm and cozy. There was also a faint smell of unidentified flowers and trees. The smell of laundry soap subtly mixed in, and it wasn’t unpleasant.

A pale pink flower petal carried by the wind landed on Ajin’s hand. Ajin waved his arm to shake it off, but it didn’t fall off easily, perhaps due to being wet.

Seokju removed the petal for him. The fallen petal flowed along the water path. Ajin’s eyes followed it. The petal, drifting along, disappeared into the drain.

“Miss Flower is an older woman.”

Ajin spoke as if talking to himself. Seokju, who had been looking at him, slightly leaned his upper body toward Ajin, indicating he was focused.

“I was told I should live a life of being loved. That I should wear good clothes and eat good things. She said it quite often, often……”

“……”

“It felt really good. But thinking back, I never told her such things.”

“……”

“I don’t know much about fate or destiny. But I did know Miss Flower was someone loved.”

Ajin reached out and turned off the flowing water. The world suddenly became quiet. He muttered as he gazed at the azaleas blooming near the sink.

“Her name is Miss Flower. Miss Flower.”

Ajin put down the now heavy, wet rag. He flicked his fingers to shake off the water on his hands.

“The person who gave her that name probably thought she was as beautiful as a flower, so they named her Miss Flower.”

“……”

“I wonder if she knows that. I had thought I should tell her if she didn’t know, but I never did.”

“……”

“I should have told her that she was destined to be loved too, and that the person who named her must have loved her. I regret that.”

“……”

“I think I will keep regretting it every time I see a flower.”

Ajin sighed through his nose. He sighed again after mumbling with his lips, then took the rag in his hand. He spread it out to check if any stains remained.

Seokju, watching Ajin, spoke in a calm voice.

“You’ve really become an adult.”

“Really?”

“Yes. You seem like an adult.”

“That’s a relief. Miss Flower said that if a man remains immature even as he ages, it can be quite unpleasant.”

Ajin laughed dryly. Unlike other children, Ajin didn’t have a strong desire to become an adult. Most adults who frequented gambling halls were mean, cantankerous, jaded, and greedy.

But when did it start? Oh yes, since seeing Seokju. He thought he wanted to become an adult like Seokju, whom he admired for being manly, strong, wealthy, and handsome.

To think that Seokju recognized him as an adult. It didn’t feel bad. But it wasn’t entirely good either. As mentioned before, the reason he became an adult was sorrow and tears.

Ajin twisted the rag one last time after rinsing it. Though he didn’t exert much force, his hand trembled.

The injured wrist had healed. The bandage had been removed for a while. He no longer needed ointment, though Seokju applied it every night.

Even so, his hand wasn’t very strong. When he exerted force, it felt like something kept snapping. His fingers sometimes curled up while resting, and occasionally his wrist felt excessively cold.

Ignoring the numbness in his wrist, Ajin twisted the rag more forcefully. Water gushed out.

Seeing this anxiously, Seokju asked gently.

“Shall I do it for you?”

“No. It’s my job.”

Ajin firmly refused. He insisted on wringing the rag himself. Though a little water remained, it would dry quickly in the spring sunlight. That was enough.

Ajin hung the rag on the makeshift laundry line next to the sink. He then washed his hands with laundry soap. The cold water was painful, causing him to clench and unclench his fists. Cold water was always troublesome for him, regardless of the season.

As he tried to wipe his red, cold hands on his pants, Seokju gently took his hands. He warmed them with his own warmth, rubbing and massaging them. The warmth, almost hot, made Ajin’s hands tingle.

Ajin stared blankly at Seokju’s hand. It was always fascinating how a person’s body temperature could be so hot.

Then, Seokju enveloped Ajin’s hand with both of his. He bowed his head and blew on it with a soft “hhoo…”. Surprised, Ajin tried to pull his hand away.

“It’s the hand that was washing the rag…”

“It was washed with soap.”

“Still…”

Ajin twisted his wrist as if he disliked it. However, Seokju didn’t let go. He stubbornly held on and continued to blow warm air. The intense warmth on his skin made Ajin’s shoulders hunch up. His legs kept drawing inward. His neck shrank like a turtle’s.

Yet, his hand quickly became warm. The hand that was red from cold was now red for another reason. Ajin tried to pull his hand away again from the hot, pounding sensation.

“Stop now—”

Ajin couldn’t finish his sentence and had to clamp his mouth shut. Seokju had pressed his lips against Ajin’s hand. Seokju kissed Ajin’s hand and looked up at him. Slowly, he moved his lips, touching the fingertips and then the palm.

Every time Seokju did that, Ajin’s shoulders twitched.

Please stop. If you say that, Seokju would back away without hesitation. He might show a regretful expression, but he wouldn’t dare plead with Ajin.

Knowing this, Ajin couldn’t bring himself to speak. Perhaps it was a matter of the words not coming out on their own.

Seokju’s lips traveled across Ajin’s palm to the unpleasantly scarred wrist. And there, he lingered for a while, as if engaging in some deep, intense action with Ajin’s wrist.

Seokju’s eyes grew darker and deeper by the moment. The world became quiet. The sounds of the wind, water, and rustling leaves felt distant. Ajin felt as if he was being absorbed into Seokju’s gaze.

“……”

“……”

Ajin rolled his lips and asked. Seokju’s lips were excessively hot. They were soft and tender. His breath felt like it was scratching the skin. The sensitive hand felt these sensations vividly. Then, for a moment, Ajin’s groin tingled.

“Stop……”

Unable to endure any longer, Ajin forcefully pulled his hand away. Seokju let go of him willingly. Ajin quickly gathered his arms.

Ajin had learned all the sensations, hallucinations, and pleasures that two people could create together from Seokju. Being so close, he often found himself overwhelmed by a sensual feeling, regardless of his will.

“I want to go in, now.”

With flushed cheeks, Ajin stood up. He then hurriedly turned around. Seokju grabbed his hand. Ajin’s steps came to a halt. However, he didn’t look back at Seokju. Seokju softly called Ajin’s name.

“Ajin.”

“……”

At Seokju’s earnest voice, Ajin squeezed his eyes shut and then opened them. He had no choice but to look at Seokju. With a faint smile, Seokju was looking up at him.

“I don’t really know much about fate or destiny. But it seems right that you are destined to be loved.”

“……”

“You are very……lovable.”

Seokju’s smile deepened. The strength left Ajin’s hand. Seokju, interpreting this as permission, carefully handled Ajin’s small hand.

Despite repeated touches, it was a hand that remained yearning. It was dry and firm, yet the skin was soft, with a unique refreshing scent. Dying by suffocating in this hand seemed like it would be a blissful death. It would be a more touching death than any other.

“Just by loving you, I feel like I’ve become a great person.”

“……”

“So even if you don’t love me, I feel fulfilled. Happy and joyful.”

Seokju’s voice was filled with sincerity. It was a voice and expression overflowing with genuine fulfillment. Then suddenly, his eyes twisted. His eyebrows lowered, and his lips turned upside down.

The weight of guilt was crushing him. Despite committing an irreparable wrong, he felt ashamed and embarrassed of his selfishness for not being able to give up on Ajin.

“So……please……stay by my side so that I can love you. Continuously.”

“Sir……”

“I will live loving only you. Only you.”

“……”

“The love that is destined for you, I will give it all to you.”

Seokju, burying his face in Ajin’s hand, spoke desperately. It was a confession, an atonement, a plea, and a request.

“Ajin, I missed you.”

“……”

“And I want to keep seeing you……”

I want to keep seeing you. You.

Seokju held Ajin tightly for a long time. The bowed back of his head looked rather pitiful. It was uncharacteristic of him. Yet, it was also characteristic of him. Since Ajin had become embedded in Seokju, and had become a part of him, it was natural that Ajin monopolized his feelings, making all these actions seem expected.

Ajin looked down at Seokju. But in the end, he couldn’t respond.