Double Junk - 150

Then, suddenly, he looked back at Ajin.

His face was full of regret and sadness. He reached out his hand and grabbed Ajin’s sleeve.

Not strongly, just a little. So lightly that Ajin could shake it off with just a flick of his wrist.

“Ajin, maybe…”

“Yes.”

“Maybe, would it be okay if I come by sometimes… very occasionally?”

Ajin’s eyebrows lifted slightly at those words. It wasn’t a very good reaction. Seokju’s heart sank, and he quickly added more.

“Once a week, no, even once a month… I won’t stay long. I’ll just come to see you for a moment.”

He hoped Ajin wouldn’t refuse this. He wanted to create an opportunity to see his face. He hoped Ajin wouldn’t completely turn him away.

Seokju wanted to live. Not just live well, but live while loving Ajin.

To do that, he needed to see Ajin. Some people say you can love without seeing.

Seokju wasn’t one of them. He needed to see Ajin to love him, and if he couldn’t see him, he’d rather die.

Anything related to Ajin could not be enough; it had to be overflowing for him to breathe.

Ajin was silent. The silence was long.

No, actually, it wasn’t long. At most, about 5 seconds.

But during those 5 seconds, Seokju felt a terror as if someone was poking his Adam’s apple with an awl.

When Ajin’s mouth finally opened, it felt like the air in the whole world had disappeared.

“When you come…”

“Yes.”

“Bring some medicine.”

“……”

Seokju blinked rapidly at those words.

He didn’t understand Ajin’s meaning right away.

His dumb head turned and twisted, struggling to process.

Then he realized a beat late. Ajin had given permission.

“Yes. I will.”

A bright smile blossomed across Seokju’s face.

After Seokju and the members of his organization left, Ajin was finally alone at home.

The house was quiet. It was an emptiness he had never experienced before.

Unless Ajin made a sound, this silence would not be broken tomorrow or the day after.

That meant Ajin would be alone tomorrow and the day after. It was both frightening and exciting. He felt a strange thrill.

Ajin looked around the house again. He found the mop and broom.

Even though Seokju had already sent someone to clean thoroughly, Ajin still busily rummaged around, marking his own presence.

It was like greeting the house. Saying, “Let’s live well from now on. Please take care of me.”

After finishing the cleaning, he unpacked.

He placed the notebook Seokju had used on the bookshelf and sharpened new pencils.

He put away the few clothes he had in the bedroom closet and placed Miss Flower’s portrait, which he had carefully packed, on the nightstand.

He also put the group photo taken at Seokju’s house next to it. It was the only photo he had of himself and Miss Flower together.

Then he started getting ready for bed. He washed up, changed clothes, and applied one of the many items Seokju had bought, lotion. He also took out thick socks and put them on.

He would be sleeping without Seokju now. The night alone would be cold. He had to prepare well.

“Ha…”

Ajin sighed as he lay on the unfamiliar bed.

It was a sigh of relief that the day had ended. He didn’t know how the day had passed.

Even though it was just a move with nothing particularly significant, it had been overwhelming.

Ajin turned to the side and matched his gaze with Miss Flower’s photo. Her face was faintly illuminated by the softly lit lamp.

“Auntie.”

Ajin broke the silence and called her. Then he started a one-sided conversation with no reply.

“I moved out of the house. Did I do well? I thought I would never manage to live alone without you or the boss. But now that I’m out, I somehow feel like I might be able to do it.”

Ajin smiled wryly.

“I guess I really have become an adult.”

An adult. An adult living alone. He felt proud. Miss Flower should have seen him now.

No, if she had been next to him, he would still be immature. He’d probably be curled up next to her, complaining about the cold and getting kicked in the foot.

Ajin, pouting his lips, pulled the blanket up to his neck.

“Still… it feels strange how quiet it is.”

This house is great, but the silence was uncomfortable. The old gambling house and Seokju’s house were always crowded. Even alone, there was no time to feel lonely. There was no space for silence.

But this place was too quiet. If he didn’t speak, there wasn’t a single sign of anyone.

It was natural to be alone, but he had only worried about making a living and never thought about this aspect, which was surprising.

“… I guess I should sleep. Sleep well, Auntie.”

After saying the last goodbye, Ajin lay down straight and closed his eyes.

But he couldn’t fall asleep easily. Was it because of the unfamiliar bed? Or because his mind was restless? Or… was it because of Seokju?

Ajin, tossing and turning, turned his back on Miss Flower. Then he looked at the pale moonlight seeping through the wallpaper and thought.

Now, are you sleeping? Will you be able to sleep well without me? You probably can’t. Even when we were in the same house, you couldn’t sleep, so how would it be now?

You should sleep well, and though I want to pretend to wish you well, my selfish heart wishes that you’re not doing well.

Not for a long time. Just a few weeks, or maybe a few months, I hope you feel empty and uncomfortable without me.

And as time passed, I hope you would slowly adjust to my absence.

By then, I would also adjust to a life without you. I think I could forget the joyful times we had together and the painful times.

Then, maybe the thorn embedded in my heart will wither. That’s the hope I have.

Ajin covered himself with the blanket up to his head. And then he closed his eyes.

Sleeping without Seokju.

It was the first step in removing the thorn.

* * *

Ajin’s house yard was surrounded by a tall brick wall. Although it was described as tall, it wasn’t very high. It was tall enough that Ajin could see outside if he stood on tiptoe.

One could criticize the height of the wall, but it was just that kind of era. The wall wasn’t built to actually prevent theft or spying. It was merely a boundary separating the house from the street.

Anyway, this allowed Ajin to occasionally see people passing by the street by accident.

He could also hear sounds. The laughter of children running in the alley, the sounds of them playing games, or the voices of women chatting while eating fruit on the outside steps.

Sometimes, while sweeping the yard, Ajin’s eyes would meet those of unfamiliar people over the wall, and they would often greet him in a friendly manner, saying, “You must have moved in. I live in the house with the blue roof over there.”

So, Ajin liked being in the yard. The house was silent, but the yard wasn’t.

Naturally, he became aware of certain presences. A tall figure with a head sticking up above the wall.

A large build suggesting manual labor. A black suit with a long overcoat that hung like a curtain.

A person who appeared to be in their mid to late twenties. A gaze that subtly scrutinized the inside of the house while pretending not to.

It was a member of the Taehoe Faction.

He seemed to be hiding between the wall and the trees, trying to spy, but it wasn’t a presence that could be easily hidden.

Ajin was clearly aware of his presence while sweeping the yard, hanging laundry, or tending to the garden.

It was likely someone sent by Seokju.

Ajin didn’t feel particularly angry or think of sending him away. It was expected.

Seokju wouldn’t leave him alone in this world. He was a gangster. He had many enemies. He lived amidst constant threats. Caution and vigilance were part of his everyday life.

Moreover, the presence of the man didn’t make Ajin feel uncomfortable.

It actually reassured him, knowing that Seokju still thought about him, was interested in him, and hadn’t forgotten him.

So Ajin pretended not to notice the presence of the faction member.

And he continued to live more diligently and energetically.

Hoping that the faction member would report to Seokju that he was living well and doing fine.

Early afternoon. After having lunch with pickled seafood, kimchi, and an egg pancake, Ajin left the house.

It had been a week since he moved in. This was the fourth time Ajin had left the house.

Even though he was an adult now, he couldn’t live only at home because he was afraid of cars and people.

He wanted to live like an ordinary person. It was also the second step in removing the thorn.

Ajin knew himself well. He was fearful, weak, and had legs that were perfect for attracting unwanted gazes.

So he didn’t set high goals from the start. Four days ago, he had only walked near the wall. The day before yesterday, he had explored the alleys around the house, and yesterday he even went out to the main road.

The world was completely different from when Ajin was ten years old and injured his leg from a car accident. It was natural since ten years had passed.

The dirt roads had turned into cement, roads had been built, and sidewalks had been created for people to walk safely.

The streets were clean, and people’s clothes were stylish. It was fascinating to see people in suits moving busily.

Seeing the changed world made Ajin actually look forward to going outside. He was growing slowly but steadily.

And today was the day to go shopping.

Wearing a white T-shirt, cotton pants, and carrying a backpack like a student, with a bit of money, Ajin put on the new sneakers Seokju had bought him and left the house.

He saw the faction member, who had been loitering near the house, quickly hiding into the alley.

Ajin pretended not to notice him and began to walk along the path with a slight limp. His steps toward the main road were quite lively.