Double Junk - 154

Inexplicably impatient, Seokju rudely stayed close to Ajin. The gate, which had been slightly ajar, creaked open. Seokju and Ajin looked at it at the same time. Myungjin’s face peeked through.

“Hyung. You need to get to work.”

“…Already?”

“Already? It’s been three hours.”

Seokju shut his mouth tightly. Why “already” over just three hours? There was no urgent matter today. Annoyance flared up first. However, he couldn’t show it.

Because it was something Seokju had asked for.

When coming to Ajin’s house today, he had given Myungjin a hint. To call him around lunchtime. In case someone didn’t drag him out, afraid he might not be able to leave Ajin’s house. He had prepared for it in his own way.

“Alright.”

Seokju answered reluctantly. Then he looked down at Ajin.

“I should go.”

“Ah…”

Several emotions clouded around Ajin’s eyes. The most prominent emotion was clearly disappointment.

He’s leaving? Already? It’s almost lunchtime, and he’s not having a meal with me? He thought, feeling foolish and stubborn, and gave up. Ajin shifted his weight from one leg to the other on his aching knees. Seokju turned his body towards the gate.

“Soon, Suncheol will come.”

“…Yes.”

Ajin followed him with slow steps. His legs were numb, so he walked with a narrow stride, but strangely, Seokju didn’t seem to get farther away. He was walking slowly as well.

However, the yard was small, so they soon reached the gate. Myungjin unnecessarily kindly opened the gate wide. Seokju glanced at him and then looked back at Ajin. And gave a slight smile. It was a grown-up smile. A hollow smile that could be shown even if he didn’t want to.

“I’m going. Take care.”

“…Goodbye.”

Ajin, hands neatly folded, bowed deeply to say goodbye. Seokju stared intently at Ajin’s black hair, which was swaying. As if he wanted to engrave it onto his retina.

Then, with a sense of regret, he turned away. He got into the car, and Myungjin closed the door for him.

“Ajin. We’re leaving.”

Myungjin waved at Ajin. Ajin gave a faint smile and nodded slightly. Myungjin got into the passenger seat, and the car started.

Ajin stared blankly at the departing car. He felt oddly melancholic. He was not used to seeing Seokju leave and felt unprepared.

As Ajin’s eyebrows drooped with melancholy, a harsh engine noise was heard, and soon another car stopped in front of the gate.

It was Suncheol. He got out of the car, waving his hand and greeting.

“Ajin, I’m here. Have you eaten?”

Ajin, full of delight, smiled. His drooping eyebrows arched upward.

“You’re here? Not yet. Did you eat, hyung?”

There was no time to feel lonely.

It was when Ajin had just laid down on the bed to sleep.

Ring- Ring-

A sharp telephone ring echoed. At first, he didn’t realize it was the home phone ringing. He thought it was the sound of insects, coming from somewhere. After the phone rang about three more times, he realized it was coming from the phone in the living room.

Ajin awkwardly got out of bed and headed for the living room. Even then, the phone kept ringing. It felt extremely loud. It was the first time the phone had rung, so it seemed that way.

When Ajin finally reached the living room, he took a deep breath in front of the phone. Then he picked up the receiver and slowly brought it to his ear.

“Hello…”

It was the first time since talking to Miss Flower in the hospital that he had spoken such a sentence. He pursed his lips at the unfamiliarity. A low voice came from the other side.

Ajin.
“…”

It’s me. Seokju hyung.
“Oh, yes…”

Ajin exhaled the breath he had been holding. It was a relief that it wasn’t a stranger but Seokju. However, he soon became tense again and subtly hunched his shoulders. On second thought, it wasn’t necessarily a relief that it was Seokju.

You’re still not asleep.
“I was just about to.”

Really? Hmm… Are you very sleepy?
“No, not really…”

Ajin rolled his eyes. Being alone at home and having no one to see him made him feel oddly restless. Ajin, fiddling with the curtain behind the phone, asked.

“D-do you have something to say?”

No.
“But why…”

I just wanted to hear your voice.
“Ah…”

Ajin’s hand let go of the curtain. The slight shock made the curtain ripple like waves. Ajin scratched his neck. Then, finding it uncomfortable to stand, he slid down to sit on the drawer.

It’s the first time hearing your voice on the phone.
“Yeah…”

It sounds nice.
“…”

Ajin shrugged his shoulders. He didn’t understand why Seokju’s praise felt so awkward. It was fascinating how he could casually say things like “good,” “pretty,” “handsome,” “I miss you,” “I want to hear from you.” A bit… envious too.

Ajin was contemplating how to respond to such comments. Seokju spoke again.

…I miss you, Ajin.
“But we saw each other earlier.”

Yes. After seeing you, I wanted to see you more. But I thought you might not like it if I came again, so I tried calling. It’s late, but thank you for answering.
“…”

The low voice coming through the faint static sounded very nice. He imagined Seokju sitting at the desk in his study with a cigarette between his fingers and his upper body exposed due to the heat.

Ajin’s lips twitched. He wanted to say something but couldn’t think of anything. Maybe sensing the discomfort of the silence, Seokju was about to end the call.

I’ll hang up now. Sleep well.
“No, um, hyung, won’t you sleep?”

Ajin asked urgently. After asking, he regretted it, closing his eyes tightly. It looked awkward to ask as if he were being chased. Asking if he wasn’t sleeping? He had already asked that earlier in the day.

Ajin sighed with his hand covering the receiver. A sigh could also be heard from the other side.

…It’s still far from bedtime for me.
“What time will that be?”

Hmm… Around one or two in the morning. Or maybe around three or four.
“What’s that?”

Ajin retorted. A faint laugh could be heard.

Just let it go. I’m still the same.
“…”

The word “the same” sounded good. There were many meanings attached to it. Still unable to sleep because you’re not here. Still unhappy because you’re not here. Still missing you. Still liking you. Still loving you. That sort of thing.

Ajin pressed his lips together to prevent the corners of his mouth from rising. Seokju called Ajin in his distinctive low voice.

Ajin.
“Yes.”

On the weekend, that is, either Saturday or Sunday, or even both days.
“Yes.”

How about having dinner… together?
Ajin’s breath stopped. His heart sank. He tightened his grip on the receiver.

At home or outside.
“…”

Just the two of us.
“…”

Of course, if you don’t want to, we don’t have to meet. Don’t think too hard about it. If you don’t want to, just say so. It’s okay.
Seokju romantically and sincerely made the offer. Ajin, holding his breath, exhaled heavily. His breathing sounded very loud. His cheeks felt numb as if standing in the cold wind, and his toes curled inward. His heart pounded so hard that his chest felt unsettled and his navel tingled.

When Ajin couldn’t easily speak, Seokju called him again.

…Ajin?
The call was filled with anxiety and longing. So Ajin couldn’t bring himself to refuse.

“…Alright. See you on Saturday.”

…
This time, Seokju was silent. Both of them remained stiff while holding the receiver. Ajin pressed his thumb against his lips, waiting for Seokju’s response. After a few seconds, Seokju’s voice came through.

Thank you.
“…”

Thank you, Ajin.
At those words, Ajin relaxed his shoulders. And with his eyes closed, he leaned his head against the wall.

It was strange. He had left the house to get away from Seokju, yet deciding to meet him made him feel as if a thorn had been slightly removed.

While washing the dishes, Ajin put down the plate. Then, stretching out his five fingers, he counted and muttered.

“Three days… until Saturday…”

There were three days left until Saturday. Since the call with Seokju was on Monday, it meant only two days had passed. Ajin sighed deeply and started washing the dishes again.

Ajin had made a “promise” for the first time in his life. It was his first time counting down the days to a specific date. That’s why he was so nervous and time seemed to drag.

Ajin smacked his dry lips. He thought he might be going a bit crazy. It didn’t make sense to be waiting so much for a dinner date. He had eaten with Seokju many times before. After going through so many things, it was just this…

Moreover, yesterday he had gone shopping with Suncheol and even bought new clothes. He planned to wear them on Saturday. Since Seokju would surely be in a suit, he needed something decent to wear. He didn’t want to sit in front of him in shabby clothes.

Anyway, the clothes he bought were hung carefully on a hanger, tucked away in the deepest part of the closet, to avoid creases.

Even though only he knew that, and no one was mocking him, he felt unbearably embarrassed. He couldn’t understand what he was doing or what he was thinking.

“I don’t know, either…”

Ajin muttered as he scrubbed the dishes with determination.

Friday, which seemed like it wouldn’t come, had arrived. Until Thursday, time seemed to drag, but as soon as it became Friday, time seemed to disappear in chunks. It felt like he had just woken up in the morning, but it was already lunchtime, and before he knew it, he had eaten lunch and was washing the dishes.

Ajin, who had thoroughly wiped the dining table, quickly rinsed the dishcloth and took out two glasses. He mixed the soybean powder thickly. He added a spoonful of brown sugar to each glass, and a little more to one. Suncheol liked things sweet.

Carrying a glass of soybean powder in each hand, Ajin put on his old sneakers and went out to the yard. Suncheol was sleeping on the platform. Ajin placed the soybean powder at the edge of the platform and quietly called him.

“Suncheol hyung.”

“…”

“Suncheol hyung. Please have some soybean powder.”

Suncheol didn’t wake up easily. Ajin shook his shoulder as he lay beside him. Suncheol swayed and then turned over to face the front.

But there was a large knife stuck in his chest.