Double Junk - 171

Ajin took a deep breath. Short memories from the past suddenly surged.

‘I have to go to work. I have to wash the dishes, clean the hallway, and do the laundry.’

‘What? What kind of work can you do with that body—’

‘It’s okay. I worked even when I was sick. It’s my job. If I don’t do it, someone else has to.’

It was always like that.

‘What are you doing!’

‘I’m washing the dishes.’

‘Then why is the boss doing it?’

‘So what? I’m washing my own stuff.’

‘This is mine!’

‘Is it yours? Did you buy it?’

‘No, no, it’s my job!’

When Seokju tried to help me, I always rejected him by saying it was my job.

‘Let’s go.’

‘…Where to?’

‘To the room. It’s cold.’

‘I’ll finish this and go. I’ll do everything. You go ahead.’

‘I don’t want to. Go now.’

‘It’s my job. I told you before, if I don’t do my job, someone else has to do it. Go wait. Don’t bother me.’

Thinking back to that moment made Ajin’s head throb. He rubbed his forehead and frowned. Seokju quickly looked at Ajin.

“Are you feeling unwell? A headache? Should we go to the hospital?”

Ajin couldn’t help but suppress a laugh at his usual worry. It was strange. The irritation he had felt from his concern had faded. It seemed that even he wasn’t thinking clearly.

Ajin swept his bangs up and shook his head, causing Seokju to sigh and get up.

“Would you like another coffee?”

“…I don’t know.”

“Should I get you a sweet one?”

Ajin nodded, his chin bobbing. His smooth hair fluttered as he did so. Seokju’s hand instinctively reached toward his hair but quickly returned to his side.

Seokju gathered the cleaning tools and left the office. Once free, Ajin pushed his chair with his feet and entered the desk. He opened a book with a bookmark inserted.

Not long after, Seokju returned. This time, he held not a glass but a plastic cup with crooked writing. It seemed to have been bought, not made.

The coffee was good. It was cold, sweet, and slightly nutty. As Ajin sipped the coffee contentedly, he suddenly held it out to Seokju.

“Would you like some, Secretary?”

“…”

Seokju hesitated. Ajin shook the coffee lightly. The ice clinked as it bumped together. Seokju made a barely noticeable expression before pulling his head back.

“It’s fine. I can’t drink cold drinks.”

“…What did you say?”

“If I catch a cold, it will affect my work. Of course, it will also affect serving the boss.”

Ajin blinked quickly.

Can’t drink cold drinks? Seokju?

Catch a cold?

Seokju?

Everything he said didn’t make sense. But it wasn’t the kind of thing that would be utterly shocking. Still, for some reason, his heart dropped, as if he had heard tragic news.

Putting the coffee down, Ajin parted his red, frozen lips.

“What about alcohol?”

“Huh?”

“Do you drink alcohol?”

“I haven’t drunk enough to say I’m good at it. I don’t enjoy drinking.”

Ajin inhaled and asked another question. His face showed impatience as he seemed to be looking for some trace of someone.

“What about cigarettes? Do you smoke?”

“No. I’m a non-smoker.”

Ajin’s expression faded. He didn’t get hot easily, couldn’t drink cold drinks, didn’t drink alcohol, and didn’t smoke.

This wasn’t really Seokju. This wasn’t the Seokju I knew. He was someone else. A stranger.

Suddenly, Seokju felt very distant. His face, one I should be familiar with enough to draw, felt unfamiliar, like a stranger.

And he was disappointed.

Without realizing it, I had been hoping that the Seokju I knew, the one who wore a suit and a long coat, had many scars on his body, suffered in the heat every night, drank alcohol, smoked, and loved me, would be the same person here.

When Seonhwa said he had a lot of soul and bl00d in his past life, I wondered if he could be the same person, if he had been reincarnated and remembered everything like me.

But this place isn’t Seoul in 1950. I have a family now, and the Kiheon who used to torment me is gone. I had hoped that maybe I could start over.

Time would be enough for me to slowly take out the thorns and bullets stuck in my heart, to hate you enough, and then, when everything was healed, I hoped we could be together again.

In my past life, I was broken and shattered, but in this life, I’m clean and whole. I thought maybe we could be the way we were back then.

But Seokju not being Seokju shattered all those messy expectations at once.

A surge of unidentifiable emotions overwhelmed Ajin. He bowed his head deeply. He felt sad, lonely, and afraid.

“…Boss?”

Seokju’s call seemed to come from far away. Ajin shut his eyes tightly, his chest heaving, and his nose tingled.

I’m alone even here.

Again. You’re not here.

Ajin didn’t speak much for the next two days, living with a face devoid of expression, embracing all his gloom. He later felt the confusion about the unfamiliar world, unfamiliar family, and unfamiliar Seokju. Seonhwa showed concern, but Ajin didn’t have the luxury to care for her.

The expression on his face grew darker, and his words became fewer. It was becoming harder for him to get out of bed, move his lips to speak, or chew and swallow food.

Still, because Sunhwa insisted that he should eat, he forced himself to have dinner. However, the food he ate wasn’t going to be digested. His chest felt tight. The food seemed to be stuck in his solar plexus.

Sitting hunched under the bed, he suddenly felt an urge to run. It was a completely random thought.

But he was sure of it. He felt an inexplicable certainty that if he ran with all his strength, his suffocating chest would clear up.

So, late at night, he found himself at an elementary school playground. Sitting on the edge of a flowerbed, he awkwardly tied his shoelaces. Then he looked around the school.

It felt strange to enter a school, especially one with no students or teachers. It was quiet and spacious, yet strangely cozy. Maybe it was because the building was painted a soft yellow, or perhaps the streetlights cast a dim white light here and there. In any case, it felt nice. He was excited.

When he had asked Sunhwa if there was somewhere nearby to run, she had told him about this place.

“You used to really like running. Whenever something frustrating happened, you’d run for a while. Running makes you feel better. Were you a dog in your past life…?”

She had said that. It wasn’t that he had been a dog in his past life, but a lame person. A bitter smile tugged at his lips as he remembered.

“Huff…”

Getting up, he tapped the ground with the tips of his shoes and took a deep breath.

He hadn’t run since he was ten, so he worried that he might trip and fall, but the desire to run was stronger.

After a few more deep breaths, he started walking briskly. Then he tried running lightly. The firm earth beneath his sneakers felt real. He could feel the ground he was standing on, the strength in his thighs, and the softness of his moving knees.

A faint smile spread across his face.

He ran a little faster. His hair flew backward. The night air hit his forehead sharply. The shadows cast by the moon created a calm obstacle ahead. Without hesitation, he jumped into those shadows.

One lap. Two laps. Three laps. He was completely lost in running.

“Huff, huff… ha, huff…”

The sweat dripping from his temples was annoying, but the sweat flowing from his hairline felt good. The pounding of his heart was also pleasant. It was so good that he couldn’t help but laugh quietly. The best part was that even though he was running so hard, his healthy legs didn’t hurt or feel heavy at all.

He focused on running for a while, then slowly began to pull out the thoughts that had been buried deep in his mind.

What is it that I’m supposed to do in this future? What’s the reason I came back? Seokju isn’t here either. If I had to pick the most important people from my past life, it would certainly be Seokju and Kkotnim, but neither of them are here. So why am I here? I have no idea.

Is the dragon king letting me enjoy what I couldn’t in my past life? I have a family now, more money, and the significant position of CEO, so maybe I’m meant to live happily here.

Should I just think that I’m lucky, that my fate has improved?

“Huff, huff…”

He paused for a moment and looked around the spacious playground. It was his first time being alone in such a wide space. He had never experienced this in his past life either.

But he wasn’t scared or afraid. When he was in the CEO’s office, even if Seokju was just briefly absent, his chest would flutter. But now, why did he feel fine?

After a moment of thought, he easily found the answer.

It was because he didn’t need Seokju right now.

He could run just fine without him, and he knew the way back home. He had come here on his own, with his own two feet.

As soon as he realized that, his mind cleared up. His vision sharpened, and the blurry contrast of colors became more distinct.

That’s right. Do I really need Seokju in my life? I can live alone. In my past life, I couldn’t live completely on my own, but didn’t I live alone for weeks? Plus, I have a family here. I have a mother, an older brother, and an older sister.

Even though everything here is unfamiliar now, I’ll gradually adapt. I can do it. There’s no reason why I can’t. This is my original body, after all. Just like how my hands are familiar with using a cellphone, my body will probably help me with everything else.

I don’t have any wounds anymore. No scars on my wrist, chest, or legs. I can still feel the bullet lodged in my chest, but that’s just an illusion. This body hasn’t experienced that pain and anger. So, I can forget. I can live well, as if nothing happened.

“Huff, huff… phew…”

He took a deep breath, filling his chest, and began running again.

The more he ran, the more his worries faded away. The confusion and sadness disappeared. All that remained were the hot sweat, his pounding heart, his flushed cheeks, the tightness in his muscles, and his healthy legs.

He ran around the playground, round and round. Sweat dripped from his chin. His hair was soaked, and the back of his neck, visible under his white short-sleeve shirt, glistened. His throat was dry.

Maybe I should go back now. If I wash up with cold water and lie down on the bed, I could probably sleep well.

Turning toward the end of the playground, he started to walk. As he ran toward the main gate with a light expression, he saw someone standing under the streetlight.

It was easy to guess who it was. The person was very tall and had a distinctive build.

It was Seokju.