Double Junk - 189

“Who would dare to disturb us, to make things difficult for us? There’s no Jingeol here, no Kiheon. A relationship—what’s so difficult about that? Even Juhyeok, who’s broken up nine times, keeps doing it again. So why can’t we?”

If there is any obstacle, it’s the thorn and bullet lodged in my chest.

But that’s not your concern, is it?

Ajin fixed his unwavering gaze on Seokju, who sighed heavily.

“Boss. A relationship—”

“I know what it is. Just because my memory is messed up doesn’t mean I’m stupid,” Ajin retorted sharply.

There was a trace of rejection in Seokju’s words, which upset him. It annoyed him. It felt as though Seokju was pushing him away.

How dare you. How could you push me away?

That fury surged within him, even after he had resolved to draw a line between the Seokju before him and the one from a past life. His emotions were a series of contradictions, swinging back and forth.

As his anger rose, Ajin let out a sharp breath, trying to calm the heat that clung to him unpleasantly. At that moment, Seokju crouched down beside him, resting one knee on the ground. Looking up at Ajin, he asked softly, “Boss, do you like me?”

Ajin’s brow furrowed. It sounded like a sentimental question, but Ajin knew Seokju well. This was a calculated question, designed to fluster him. By asking so directly, Seokju expected Ajin to evade answering, creating a moment to escape from this situation.

Ajin stared at Seokju for a moment before letting his tense shoulders relax. Then, with a softened expression, he spoke quietly, “I wanted… to kiss you. Hyung.”

“…”

Seokju’s eyebrows lifted in surprise at Ajin’s unexpected honesty. Ajin pulled a chair closer with his foot, leaning in until they were nearly face-to-face. He locked eyes with Seokju, trying earnestly to convey his feelings.

“I want to be with you. When you’re not around, I feel uneasy.”

Seokju inhaled deeply, his chest and shoulders rising visibly. It seemed Ajin’s words had resonated with him. His thick lashes trembled, betraying his inner turmoil. Though Seokju had tried to catch Ajin off guard, the question had backfired, leaving him more flustered.

After blinking rapidly, Seokju managed to regain his composure.

“Ajin.”

“…”

“You need to think carefully. Very carefully. Are you sure you really like me, or is it something else…?”

Seokju trailed off, his words left unfinished. Ajin tilted his head slightly.

“…Something else?”

Seokju’s dark eyes shifted from Ajin’s face to the floor. He stared at Ajin’s relaxed white hand resting on his thigh, his gaze lingering on the clean line of his wrist. Then, he spoke slowly.

“Maybe… it’s because of what happened a few days ago, and you feel uneasy being alone. Or maybe it’s the summer heat getting to you. It could even be the rain from the past few days making you restless. Or maybe… it’s because your memories are tangled, leaving you confused.”

Seokju’s voice was calm, as though trying to soothe Ajin. Listening in silence, Ajin let out a soft chuckle. It was clear Seokju still saw him as a child.

“Hyung.”

“…”

“I like you.”

“Ajin…”

“I’m not so dumb that I can’t recognize my own feelings. I’m not a kid. How could I not know something like that?”

Ajin spoke firmly and confidently. Seokju fell silent. He opened his mouth as if to say something, then closed it again, his lips moving wordlessly. As Ajin looked down at Seokju’s face, filled with confusion and inner conflict, a thought suddenly struck him, and he sighed softly.

“Maybe… Hyung doesn’t like me.”

That possibility hadn’t even crossed his mind. Whether it was the Seokju from his past life or the one before him now, both had always seemed blindly devoted to him. The idea that Seokju might not love him hadn’t even occurred to him.

That would be a big problem. What should I do?

Ajin scratched his cheek, letting out a hum of thought, when Seokju shook his head firmly.

“No, it’s not that.”

At those words, Ajin’s face brightened.

“Then… does that mean you like me too, Hyung?”

At his innocent question, Seokju let out a faint laugh. He reached for Ajin’s hand and pressed it gently against his cheek. The warmth and softness of Ajin’s skin against him made all the feelings Seokju had tried so hard to suppress bubble to the surface.

“Always. I’ve always liked you. I’ve always loved you.”

Before he could stop himself, his lips—so reckless and shameless—began pouring out the love he had tried to keep hidden.

“Not a single moment has passed when I didn’t. Even before I knew you, I loved you. Even when I couldn’t see you, I loved you. And ever since we met, I’ve loved you with every moment of every day.”

Seokju’s emotions spilled out uncontrollably, only for him to clamp his jaw shut as if trying to regain control. He closed his eyes tightly, then opened them, his gaze dark and steady as he looked up at Ajin.

“It’s just… I’m scared.”

“…”

“I’m terrified. So much.”

Seokju’s brows drew together, his expression filled with sadness. His eyes were hollow, as if he were being chased by something. Watching him, Ajin climbed down from his chair and crouched in front of him. Their gazes now aligned, Ajin’s hands gently cupped Seokju’s cheek.

“What are you afraid of? What’s scaring you so much?”

“…”

Seokju didn’t answer. Judging by his firmly shut lips, he didn’t seem willing to reply. He simply gazed at Ajin quietly.

Despite the frustrating silence, Ajin didn’t press him further. It wasn’t something anyone else could resolve, and certainly not Seokju’s fears. However, Ajin could stay by his side. He could face those fears with him.

“I don’t know what scares you so much, but wouldn’t it feel a little less frightening if we’re together?”

“……”

“So, let’s try dating.”

Ajin smiled gently at Seokju.

Whatever obstacles lay in their path didn’t matter. Ajin liked him, and Seokju liked Ajin. That was enough. Overthinking and worrying wouldn’t stop fate from arriving uninvited. Sometimes, it would come as a trivial wave; other times, it would crush them with suffocating, dizzying storms.

Yet strangely, Ajin wasn’t afraid of it. After all, he’d been through it once before.

Even if the waves shattered them or sank their ship, it didn’t matter. That was something to grieve about when the time came. Right now, what they needed to decide was how much they would love and how much happiness they could seize before those waves arrived.

Ajin longed for the love he couldn’t have in his past life and craved the happiness he couldn’t savor then. To have all that, he needed Seokju. Seokju had to be by his side.

That’s why, in this life, I won’t lose you.

Ajin ate two ice creams first thing in the morning. How could something be so cold, soft, and sweet? He almost wanted to live on ice cream for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

After that, he leisurely began preparing for work. A suit Seokju had picked out in advance was hanging in the dressing room. With a cube of ice in his mouth, Ajin buttoned up his shirt. Though suits had felt so awkward and uncomfortable at first, he was fully used to them now. He even liked how sleek he looked in them.

Ajin was just fastening the last button when a knock sounded, followed by Seokju entering.

Ajin glanced at him through the mirror, silently asking what was up. Seokju, uncharacteristically hesitant, stood next to him.

“The tie…”

“The tie?”

Ajin turned to look at him. Why the tie? Today’s choice, selected by Seokju, had a bold diagonal pattern with a subtle luxury logo printed on it. Ajin picked it up to show him, but Seokju tugged it lightly.

“I want to tie it for you.”

“……”

“It’s something I’ve always done.”

Ajin blinked. Then he chuckled softly, “Pfft.”

Embarrassed, Seokju bit his lower lip but didn’t let go of the tie. Ajin, teasing him, lightly brushed the back of his hand holding the tie.

“The first thing you say after we start dating is, ‘I want to tie your tie?’”

“……”

Seokju didn’t reply. He must’ve known how ridiculous his behavior was. Still, what could he do? He wanted to.

Ever since Ajin’s college days, if he needed a tie, Seokju had always tied it for him. His first day at work, and every occasion after, it had been Seokju’s task. It was exclusively his.

It had been surprisingly upsetting when Ajin learned to tie his own. But now that they were dating, Seokju figured it wouldn’t hurt to indulge in a bit of selfishness.

“Go ahead.”

Ajin, finishing the last of his ice cube, stepped closer to Seokju. Smiling faintly, Seokju raised the collar of Ajin’s shirt and began tying the tie with familiar precision. His large, steady fingers worked the fabric skillfully—wrapping, folding, and sliding it smoothly.

But Ajin couldn’t stop smirking. Sometimes, he even giggled while glancing at Seokju’s face. Feeling awkward, Seokju mumbled like a scolding remark, “Why do you keep laughing?”

“Because I’m happy.”

Ajin, quick to respond, wrapped his arms around Seokju’s waist. With his sparkling blue eyes, he looked up at Seokju.

“This is my first time dating.”

“……”

“I mean… it should be, right?”

“……”

Seokju’s lips pressed into a thin line. The mix of shyness and delight on his face slowly gave way to calmness. Given their close proximity, Ajin noticed the change immediately. Tilting his head slightly, Ajin hesitated before asking again.

“It is my first time, right?”

As soon as the question ended, Seokju finished tying the tie. He tugged the end slightly to adjust its shape and, in a steady voice, replied, “In college, I had two girlfriends.”