Double Junk - 203

“……”

Seokju didn’t stop it.

He just silently carried out the tasks Ajin told him to do.

However, it didn’t last long.

It was too painful to listen to Ajin’s cries.

Seokju’s eyebrows twisted in distress.

Burying his face in his slender shoulders, he apologized in a sunken voice.

“I’m sorry, Ajin.”

“Hic, h-heuuuk……”

“I’m sorry.”

“Heuu, huk, huu……”

“I’m sorry.”

Seokju continued to apologize repeatedly.

At some point, his voice grew quieter and eventually ceased altogether.

Shortly after, Ajin’s nape felt damp.

Ajin woke up in the early dawn, just before sunrise.

His body felt stiff yet oddly refreshed.

His eyes stung, and the skin around them felt tight from crying so hard that it seemed the world would end, but his mood wasn’t entirely bad.

He blinked blankly before belatedly surveying his surroundings.

The room felt unfamiliar.

Yet, it wasn’t completely foreign; it was oddly familiar.

Where could this be?

Oh, it was Seokju’s room.

He’d seen it in his dreams before.

Seokju’s room was slightly smaller and simpler than his own.

Aside from the bed, desk, and a single sofa near the window, there wasn’t much furniture.

There were, however, a lot of books on the bookshelf, and the lighting was dim.

The room faintly carried Seokju’s scent—the lotion he used, the body wash, the fabric softener.

Those kinds of smells.

As Ajin took in the room, he rubbed his swollen eyelids roughly.

His puffy eyelids felt incredibly annoying.

Just then, a large, cool hand gently caught his wrist.

“You’ll hurt yourself.”

It was Seokju.

He was lying beside him, offering his arm as a pillow.

Ajin stared at him.

He had known since the moment he woke up that he was beside him, but seeing it with his own eyes made him feel strange.

He stared at him for a long time before lowering his gaze to his wrist, which he was holding.

His pale skin bore no marks from his lips.

Even though their encounter had been intense, Seokju hadn’t left a single bite mark on his body.

It was a stark contrast to the Seokju from his previous life.

Back then, he had bitten him so much that someone might have mistaken it for a rash.

That aside, his body felt fresh.

He had felt sticky when he reached his climax, but now his skin was soft, and he smelled good.

It must mean that Seokju had washed him.

It was also likely his doing that he had fallen asleep in this room instead of his own messy one.

Considering all he had done to clean up after him, he must have been tired.

Yet, his face showed no signs of sleepiness.

His expression was slightly relaxed, but his eyes were as sharp as ever, and his gaze was clear.

“Didn’t you sleep?”

Ajin asked in a hoarse voice.

“No.”

Seokju gave a brief response.

Ajin tilted his head to the side.

It was strange to him that he would spend time meaninglessly staying by his side instead of working.

“Why not?”

Seokju gently swept his hair aside.

The soft strands slipped between his fingers, and he found the sensation incredibly pleasant.

“I thought if you woke up and saw me sleeping…”

“And if I did?”

“You’d feel lonely.”

“……”

Ajin blinked.

Lonely?

Me?

Maybe.

If he woke up and saw him sleeping, he might be consumed by futile thoughts.

He might feel lonely.

He wasn’t sure.

He didn’t know himself well.

He had lived two lives, but neither had been particularly long, so he hadn’t fully figured himself out.

As Ajin pondered unnecessarily seriously, Seokju let out a faint chuckle.

“I lied.

The truth is, I stayed awake because I felt lonely.

I wanted to feel that you were really here with me.

If I fell asleep, I’d be alone.”

It was a deeply romantic thing to say.

Night.

To Seokju and Ajin, it had always been a particularly special time.

They had desired each other because nights were painful and lonely.

But this was the first time Seokju had said he stayed awake because he felt lonely in his dreams.

Perhaps it was because sleep wasn’t as precious to him as it had been in the past.

Even so, he felt that the Seokju he knew and the Seokju before him were remarkably similar.

After all, he was the center of his nights, no matter which version of him he encountered.

“You… haven’t changed,” Ajin murmured to himself, running his finger over the crescent-shaped marks on Seokju’s wrist.

He hadn’t said it expecting an answer.

“……”

Seokju remained silent.

He gently combed through his hair with his fingertips.

After a moment of quiet, he spoke in a serene voice.

“Yeah.

I haven’t changed.”

At those words, Ajin’s steady breathing abruptly stopped.

The faint smile on his lips also vanished.

I haven’t changed.

It was a familiar phrase.

On the day he moved out of Seokju’s house, the day they first spoke on the phone, they had had such a conversation.

“Do you… not sleep, Seokju?”

…No, I still have a long time before I go to bed.

“What time is that?”

Hmm… Around one or two in the morning.

Maybe three or four.

“That’s ridiculous.”

Just let it slide.

I haven’t changed.

Seokju couldn’t sleep without me, and he accepted it as perfectly natural.

He neither suffered from it nor blamed me for it.

I remember that sentence clearly, every single syllable, because I liked that Seokju had felt uncomfortable due to my absence.

But the Seokju before me wouldn’t know that.

He wasn’t supposed to.

If anything, he should have asked me what I meant by “unchanged.”

After all, today was the first time we’d been intimate, the first time we spent the night together naked.

The phrase “unchanged” didn’t really fit our current situation.

Did he understand what I meant? Or was he just replying based on the context?

I gazed at him, my cheek pressed against his chest. I had so many questions, but I wasn’t sure how to ask them. And, truthfully, I was afraid.

While I hesitated, Seokju kissed my forehead briefly. In a soothing, gentle voice, he reassured me, “Go back to sleep. It’s Sunday. After you wake up, let’s practice those greetings, finish everything, and then eat some ice cream.”

The tone, as if he were comforting a child, made me chuckle without realizing it. Seokju joined in my laughter, stroking the back of my head.

I blinked a few times, letting my doubts fade away. I just wanted to live like a carefree fool. Like the me in my dreams—those playful nicknames I’d used to describe myself, like “airhead” or “naïve young master.”

I burrowed deeper into his side. Seokju wrapped his arms around me completely. It was a hug, different from the one during s3x—this one was far more innocent and poetic.

“Stay by my side for a long, long time,” I murmured, closing my eyes.

“Stay with me. Even though we’ve already been together for ten years, stay with me for another twenty, thirty years.”

Keep protecting my nights. Care for my sadness, and keep those bad memories from surfacing.

But Seokju didn’t answer. I tilted my eyes upward, glancing at him. My tear-stained eyes were already tinged with irritation.

“Why aren’t you answering?”

The look on my face must have been like an annoyed cat. With a dry laugh, Seokju kissed the corner of my reddened eyes and pulled my thin body closer to him.

“As long as you don’t abandon me, I won’t leave you.”

“…”

“I have nowhere else to go, and nowhere else I want to go but with you.”

He traced his fingertips along my shoulder blades.

“It’s fine if we’re no longer lovers. You don’t even have to like me. You can treat me as just some older guy, or as your secretary, or even as a servant. As long as you let me stay by your side, that will be enough for me.”

It was such an intense and submissive declaration, the kind that might make anyone else flinch.

But to me, it felt so good. It felt like I had completely claimed Seokju for myself. Like this

incredible man was at my feet. Like I didn’t need to break his legs, shackle him, or restrain him—he would just always be by my side.

I wrapped my arms around his waist tightly.

“So, if I don’t abandon you, we’ll never be apart, right?”

“Yeah. That won’t ever happen.”

He answered firmly. I giggled softly, a childish, carefree laugh. A stable relationship. A horizon with no ups and downs. A future without threats or dangers. It was everything I’d always wanted.

It felt like a scene from a drama, as if I’d been proposed to. A happy ending. A perfect moment where you could write “And they lived happily ever after” and end it without any regret. That kind of fullness.

Smiling, I breathed deeply and closed my eyes. That’s when Seokju called my name.

“But, Ajin.”

The conversation, which seemed to have ended, was reopened by him.

“You can abandon me if you want.”

“…What?”

I opened my eyes slowly and looked up at him in confusion. Seokju brushed his thumb across my cheek, whispering softly.

“If you want to leave me, you can.”

“…”

“Kick me away. Throw me out. Slam the door in my face. It’s okay.”

There was no need for him to say that. I didn’t want to abandon him. Why would I? He hadn’t done anything wrong.

Suddenly, my chest felt warm. Pulling the blanket down from my arms, I asked him again.

“Why… Why would you say that? You’d be sad if I did.”

“That’s for me to deal with. You don’t have to worry about it. In fact, I’d prefer it if you didn’t.”

My eyebrows arched upward, and my eyelashes fluttered high. His unnecessary words were irritating me. He was ruining our happy ending, leaving room for a sequel that wasn’t needed.

I abruptly sat up and spoke clearly.

“No. I won’t let that happen. I’ll try my best not to abandon you.”

“…”

“So, you try your best too. Don’t let me abandon you.”

It sounded almost like a threat. Despite my innocent face, it was a sharp, unsettling tone to Seokju. He sighed deeply before replying.

“…Okay. I’ll do my best.”

I stared at him intently, scrutinizing him. Was he lying? Did he have some ulterior motive?

After a long moment, I buried my face against his side and hugged his waist tightly. I held my breath for a brief moment, clinging to him like a stubborn child throwing a tantrum.