Double Junk - 213

“Me…?”

“Yes. You were the one who first contacted me, asking if I was interested in an audition for a movie.”

“Me?”

Ajin pointed at himself and widened his eyes. Doeun blinked her eyes a few times and then awkwardly smiled. She scratched her arm as if embarrassed.

“Uh… You don’t remember? Or was it someone else? It came through the company. You didn’t know? Well, it’s not something someone as high-ranking as the president would do directly. Sorry, I misunderstood—”

“Oh, oh… I remember.”

Ajin pretended to remember late. He didn’t really understand what she was saying, but since it was something done by someone in his company, he figured there was no harm in saying he did it.

“Yes, it was from our side.”

Pretending to know. Saying, “Oh, that’s right,” and brushing it off. This was a skill Ajin had developed over his life. At Ajin’s affirmation, Doeun’s expression brightened.

“You have no idea how surprised I was when I got that call. I was thinking of quitting acting because no matter how hard I tried, there was no result.”

“….”

“But then, I got to be in such a big project… I got to talk with great seniors, meet a wonderful director, and I learned so much. I was so happy. For some, it may not be a big role, but for me, it was a really precious opportunity. That movie gave me the motivation to work hard again. Thank you, President.”

Doeun bowed her head while sitting.

“No need to thank me.”

Ajin also bowed. Then, he accidentally hit the plate, making it vibrate. Doeun laughed while covering her mouth. Her eyes, curving with a smile, were charming. She folded her hands politely under the table and continued speaking softly.

“Actually, I know it’s rude to come here like this suddenly, but I was happy to see you, and I thought it was an opportunity, so I decided to talk. I’m sorry if I’ve been rude.”

“Opportunity?”

“I just wanted to see if you might remember my face, even if just once. And then, maybe someday, you’ll come looking for me when there’s a chance.”

“….”

Ajin belatedly realized that she was not a famous actress. Even a rookie actor could stand out here and there, but Ajin had watched countless dramas and movies nonstop and never recalled seeing her face on screen.

It made him feel sorry and pity for her. He wished that she could enjoy just the same amount of what she hadn’t experienced in her past life. It was a presumptuous thought, but truly, it felt that way.

As Ajin stared at her with damp eyes, Doeun pushed her chair back and stood up.

“I’ll be going now. Thank you for being so kind. Enjoy your meal.”

She had no lingering attachment in her expression. She didn’t make any absurd demands like asking to be cast in the movie she was planning or requesting her contact information. There were many rude rookie or middle-aged actors Ajin had met at various events, but she was different.

“Wait, wait a minute. Please wait for a moment.”

Ajin called her urgently. Then, he reached into Seokju’s jacket pocket beside him. He pulled out a cold metal case along with his wallet. It was his business card case.

Ajin took out a card and handed it to Doeun.

“This is my business card. If you ever need help, feel free to contact me.”

“Uh…”

Doeun blinked her eyes, then smiled and accepted the card.

“Thank you. I’ll keep it safe.”

Ajin smiled back. It felt good to return the affection he had received in a past life.

“Yes.”

The two of them looked at each other for a moment. It was Doeun who turned her head first. She smiled beautifully and turned around. It seemed like she was going back to her seat, but before taking two steps, she stopped. Then, she picked something up from under Seokju’s seat.

“I think you dropped this.”

Ajin didn’t even know what it was, but he took it anyway.

“Ah, thank you.”

“Yes, then.”

Doeun bowed and returned to her seat. The sound of her heels clicking echoed clearly.

Ajin watched her leave. Then, he checked what she had handed him.

One was Seokju’s wallet, and the other was a piece of paper. Ajin skipped over the wallet and looked at the paper first. It was thick, white, and folded in half, but it looked like it had been kept for a very long time, and the paper was brittle. It seemed like it would crumble into dust if touched the wrong way.

It seemed like something that had fallen when he was taking Seokju’s business card out, but no matter how he looked at it, it didn’t seem like it belonged to Seokju.

“What’s this…?”

Ajin examined the paper from all angles. Strangely enough, his heart started to race. He didn’t know what it was, but his body tensed. It felt odd.

Ajin carefully unfolded the paper, afraid it might tear. Soon, the true nature of the paper was revealed. It was a photo. A very old black-and-white photo.

In the photo, two familiar people were standing. It was a photo Ajin knew very well. He had even owned it once. It was a photo he couldn’t forget, one he had kept hidden away, and one that shouldn’t exist in this world anymore. Especially not for Seokju to see.

“….”

He felt a sharp breath catch in his throat. Goosebumps ran down his cheeks. The atmosphere in the room suddenly turned cold and sharp. His heart and lungs were working frantically, but it felt like he had died.

The soft sound of classical music in the restaurant, the clinking of forks and plates, the sounds of people laughing and chatting, all faded away.

Space and time seemed to warp, and a deep abyss formed. Ajin was helplessly pulled into that pit.

Ajin had missed the photo, or rather, the past. It fluttered and fell to the floor.

Inside it was Seokju from a past life, wearing a white dress shirt, and a limping Ajin, wearing a large, blanket-like overcoat, smiling as he looked ahead.

Heavy Heart

Ajin ran without a destination. He ran until his legs almost broke. He ran until his ankles throbbed, his knees buckled, his lungs burned, and his throat felt sour.

Through the gasping breaths, the voices of Seokju and himself slipped through.

“Secretary Kang.”

“Yes, Mr. President.”

“Do you know that person?”

You probably knew the intention behind the question I asked back then. But you avoided my gaze, pretending not to know anything.

“I know everything, from family relations to personal details like your favorite foods, hobbies, and talents, and even all your personal information, including your social security number.”

With a blank expression, you answered like that, leaving me confused in an unfamiliar place.

“Are we lovers?”

“…”

“Do you love each other?”

“No. No, we’re not like that.”

When asked about whether we were lovers, you firmly denied it.

“If you keep distancing yourself, I…”

“…I?”

“I… I’ll be a little sad.”

Yet, arrogantly, you expressed dissatisfaction with me distancing myself from you.

“If you don’t like it, just say it. I don’t like it when you drink. I don’t like it when you meet with your friends. You can say such things. Of course, even if you say it, you won’t listen, but you could at least say it, right?”

“…”

“But you never say anything. No matter what you do, no matter what you’re up to, I just watch and suffer. It’s like I’m being punished. I endure it quietly, like I’m being punished. If it’s hard, distance yourself a little. You always stay close even though it’s a hassle.”

You took on a punishment that no one gave and atoned alone.

“This bastard is stealing again…”

You didn’t hesitate at all when it came to punishing the bad past relationship.

“Let’s date.”

“Ajin. Think carefully. Really think. Do you like me, or is there some other…”

“…Other?”

“Some other reason.”

“What other reason?”

You knew that I was thinking about your past self. So you brought up that damned “other reason” and tried to avoid the relationship.

“Does your brother like me too?”

“Always. Always, he has. Always loved you. Always.”

“…”

“Every single moment. Even before I knew you, I loved you. Even when I couldn’t see you, I loved you. After I met you, every moment, I loved you.”

But still, you didn’t hesitate to reveal your feelings.

“It’s just… I’m scared.”

“…”

“I’m afraid. Very much.”

“What are you afraid of? What are you so scared of?”

You were afraid I would find out what you were hiding.

“But Ajin…”

“You can throw me away.”

“…What did you say?”

“Throw me away if you want.”

“…”

“Kick me, throw me away, shut the door in my face. It’s fine.”

Even then, you left an escape route for yourself. You really were… cruel. Cowardly and bad.

Ajin stopped dead in his tracks. Then, bent over with his back hunched, he exhaled the breath that had risen to his throat. Whether it was sweat or tears, something fell onto the ground.

“Hah, hah…”

I knew everything. Why did I pretend not to know? Why was I afraid you would abandon me, even though I knew everything? If it was just because of that, you are truly cowardly and selfish. What difference is there from the past when you left me?

With your stubbornness to stay by my side, in the end, you left me again. You tricked and deceived me into abandoning me like this.

In this distant time, you ignored me when I opened my eyes alone, you pretended not to see me trembling under the weight of the past, and you ignored me as I sank into the mud, tormented by your lingering presence every day.

“Bastard…”

Muttering curses, Ajin swallowed his tears. Then he started running again.