Expression of emotions - Chapter 2

7.

On Fridays, there was one general education class Kang-woo took with Seung-jun. The class started at 11 a.m., but since it was the first week of the semester, it would probably end early after just taking attendance, not much of a class at all. So Kang-woo woke up leisurely around 10:30.

Living alone near campus was the best at times like this. Though, it also made him lazier.

Still half-asleep, Kang-woo trudged toward the lecture room with drowsy eyes. As he entered the room, he glanced around casually. But Seung-jun was nowhere to be seen. Seung-jun, despite being naturally smart and good at studying, had a habit of being slow. Kang-woo had hoped he might change a bit after returning to school, but of course, showing up early was still not his thing.

Kang-woo picked a seat at random, rested his chin on his hand, and stared absentmindedly at the whiteboard in front. At the moment, a group of girls sitting up front glanced back. One of them made eye contact with him, and he wondered if she was from his department, but she wasn’t a familiar face. Honestly, if she had been, it might’ve been awkward. Kang-woo blinked awkwardly at eye contact. Soon, the girl turned forward and nudged her friend, and another girl turned and looked at him briefly.

Did they hear the rumor somewhere too that his ex-girlfriend cheated on him?

Kang-woo grew uncomfortable after getting looked at a few more times. Scratching his forehead and covering his cheek, he eventually just lay down on his desk.

In the past, if strangers turned to look at him and they made eye contact multiple times, he might have been slightly pleased inside. But now, this discomfort he felt likely came from an inferiority complex caused by his own experience with an unexpected campus couple relationship.

Still, general education classes were better than major ones. People from the same department rarely took the same general education courses.

While dating, being a campus couple felt great, but after breaking up, it only left extreme discomfort. If he had known about that downside in advance, would he have been able to end things with less misery?

As soon as he started thinking back on everything, Kang-woo’s mood soured. To shake off the bad feelings, and since he was still sleepy anyway, he decided to just nap a bit more until class started.

8.

“Hey. Wake up. The professor’s here.”

Someone was shaking him awake, and at the sound of a voice, Kang-woo opened his eyes. It wasn’t Seung-jun’s voice, so Kang-woo turned his head to the side in confusion and sat up straight. His eyes widened slightly when he saw who it was—Seung-jun’s friend, Tae-young, was sitting in the seat next to him. Kang-woo slowly blinked at Tae-young, then looked around.

What the…?

“…Where’s Kim Seung-jun?”

“He said he’s on his way.”

As Kang-woo looked around, he asked Tae-young, who was spinning a pen in one hand as he answered.

Wait, we’re not even close. Why is he sitting next to me without Seung-jun?

With a displeased expression, Kang-woo looked at Tae-young and spoke again.

“You’re taking this class too?”

Whether it was because he’d just woken up or because he didn’t like Tae-young, Kang-woo frowned deeply and asked in a low voice.

“Why else would I be here if not for the class?”

Ah…

Kang-woo closed his eyes tightly at Tae-young’s response. I told you I didn’t want to run into this guy…

“But hey, your eyes and face are really swollen,”

Tae-young said, reaching toward Kang-woo’s face as if to poke his cheek. But Kang-woo quickly raised his palm to block the approaching finger.

He always tries to touch people’s faces. Seeing Kang-woo’s serious expression, Tae-young raised an eyebrow and withdrew his hand.

“Did you cry again yesterday?”

Originally, Kang-woo occasionally had puffy eyes in the morning. Even if he went to sleep without eating dinner, his face would still be swollen when he woke up. At Tae-young’s question, Kang-woo, who had been blinking slowly in a sleepy daze, opened his eyes fully. Tae-young’s question “Did you cry again?” felt completely random.

“What do you mean, ‘again’? When did I even cry before? You don’t even know me that well.”

Kang-woo frowned, thinking Tae-young was poking at something unnecessarily again, and spoke sharply. Tae-young didn’t reply, he just stared intently at Kang-woo’s face, as if studying his expression, before shrugging his shoulders.

Still half-asleep, Kang-woo momentarily failed to recall the embarrassing memory he always associated with Tae-young.

What’s his deal?

“Well… if not, then forget it.”

Tae-young finally replied a moment later, and Kang-woo looked at him, puzzled by his nonchalant shrug, before tilting his head slightly and tightly shutting his eyes.

‘That time’ suddenly came to mind — when he had cried while trying to win back his cheating ex, not realizing Tae-young was watching. The dark history came back to him. Kang-woo let out a deep sigh. Still keeping his eyes shut, he exhaled another heavy breath.

…Seriously.

I didn’t want to run into him, and now we’re even in the same class.

Kang-woo kept his eyes shut tightly, trying to calm his rising irritation.

If I want to avoid this guy, I might have to stop seeing Seung-jun too. They’re always together anyway.

Kang-woo opened his eyes and looked at Tae-young.

“Hey. Do you take all the same classes as Seung-jun?”

“Well… pretty much?”

Come to think of it, since freshman year, Seung-jun and Tae-young had always been in the same club and took most of the same classes together. And back when they had more free time as freshmen, they would often hang out late at school or around campus after classes. On top of that, despite Kang-woo being Seung-jun’s friend of 20 years, it was Tae-young—whom he’d only gotten close to for about six months—who ended up going to the military with him. The number of years in a friendship didn’t really matter, after all.

During their first year, Kang-woo barely saw Seung-jun once a week since Seung-jun was always glued to his girlfriend. Because of that, Kang-woo didn’t really pay attention to other people or things. And yet, despite not knowing Tae-young well, he remembered hearing all kinds of things about him, mostly because Seung-jun would often talk about Tae-young more than any other classmate. How Tae-young was the best-looking guy in their department, how smart he was, how popular he was with girls, how often he got hit on just walking around, how even his older sister was pretty, and how that must be why he had such high standards, etc…

Whenever Seung-jun talked about Tae-young—especially when it came to his looks—he always spoke with a proud expression, almost like he was bragging about himself. But Kang-woo felt nothing at all in response to Seung-jun’s praise of Tae-young. They were both guys, and the fact that another guy was good-looking and popular with women just didn’t interest Kang-woo in the slightest.

Kang-woo wasn’t particularly curious about the good things or any other stories related to Tae-young. Even when he heard them, they didn’t leave much of an impression. Still, after hearing Seung-jun go on and on, bragging like Tae-young was his own achievement, Kang-woo found himself wondering about one thing.

If he was that good-looking and that popular, why didn’t he have a girlfriend? Kang-woo had never once heard from Seung-jun that Tae-young was dating someone. He always just seemed to be hanging around with Seung-jun.

9.

Kang-woo wasn’t actually that curious.

“Hey. I’m seriously asking this ‘cause I’m curious.”

And he kind of hoped Tae-young would be offended.

“Don’t take it the wrong way, okay?”

Tae-young’s expression as he looked at Kang-woo was indifferent, as if saying, “Just say whatever it is.”

Aren’t you even nervous?

Rather, the one who was nervous before speaking was Kang-woo himself.

“…Do you, by any chance… like Kim Seung-jun? Like, more than just as a friend?”

10.

Kang-woo wasn’t exactly bothered by Tae-young being close with Seung-jun. What annoyed him was that whenever he wanted to see Seung-jun, Tae-young was always there too. It wasn’t jealousy over his long-time friend, he just couldn’t understand why they were constantly stuck together. No matter how close you were, even Kang-woo hadn’t spent that much time with Seung-jun.

At Kang-woo’s words, Tae-young slightly raised an eyebrow and stared at him quietly. He didn’t look flustered at Kang-woo’s words, but his expression held a trace of disbelief, as he stared at Kang-woo.

“You said something like this last time too. I really don’t get why you always jump to that.”

“….”

“Hey, I’m serious. And don’t go suspecting me or anything…”

“….”

“You should seriously think about your own orientation.”

At that, Kang-woo tilted his head in confusion.

“What are you talking about? I like girls.”

“Then…”

“What?”

“Are you bisexual?”

“What?”

Tae-young smirked as he leaned in slightly closer to Kang-woo and said,

“You know, they say people judge everything based on their own standards. Isn’t it weird how you keep mistaking friendship for love?”

At that, Kang-woo scowled and grabbed Tae-young’s shoulder tightly.

“What the hell are you saying, you bastard?”

He’d meant to land a jab, but the completely unexpected response left him flustered. Just then, Seung-jun walked in through the back door, bowed politely to the professor who was just about to start class, and sat down behind Kang-woo and Tae-young.

Seung-jun looked between the two, as he Kang-woo gripping Tae-young’s shoulder. Kang-woo’s expression wasn’t visible, but Tae-young looked at him and smiled.

“Oh? What’s this? You two look pretty close.”

What part of this looks close? Kang-woo looked at Seung-jun, who was smiling as he spoke, and hurriedly let go of Tae-young’s shoulder like he’d been caught doing something scandalous. Should’ve grabbed him by the collar instead. The sight of Tae-young smiling casually, in stark contrast to his own scowling face, only made Kang-woo’s mood worse.

He barely knew the guy, and yet Tae-young had randomly walked up and called him pushover. Now, despite Kang-woo carefully trying to ask a question, Tae-young had bluntly asked if he was bisexual. Kang-woo couldn’t help but wonder, if they spent just a little more time together, what other outrageous things would this guy throw out without hesitation?

He couldn’t even remember what he’d originally asked anymore. His bad mood was etched all over his face, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t smooth it out.

If it weren’t for Kim Seung-jun, I wouldn’t have to put up with this guy’s nonsense.

Kang-woo firmly resolved that if Seung-jun ever invited Tae-young out again for drinks or to hang out, he was going to completely ignore it, no matter what.

11.

After class, when Seung-jun suggested they grab a meal together, Kang-woo turned him down, saying he’d rather catch up on sleep, and went straight back to his place. He was a bit hungry, sure but the thought of eating with Tae-young put him off more. Still, he really did mean to sleep, and as soon as he got home, he went straight to bed. Kang-woo was someone who always needed a lot of sleep.

As dusk began to fall, he got a message from a high school friend who went to another university. It was a welcome surprise,the friend asked if he’d be interested in a blind date tomorrow if he wasn’t busy. Kang-woo happily said yes.

Later that evening, he got another call from Seung-jun, inviting him out to dinner again.

“Hey, are you with that Tae-young guy or whatever?”

— Huh? Yeah. Why?

“Oh, really? Well, you two enjoy dinner then. Also, I’ve got a blind date tomorrow.”

—What blind date?

Kang-woo wished Seung-jun would say it a bit louder.

“What was that?”

— Suddenly asking, what kind of blind date it is?

If Seung-jun had said it twice, then Tae-young, who was supposedly right next to him, must’ve heard it too. Bisexual? This morning, did he seriously call me bisexual?

“Jaemin set it up. I’ll tell you about it after. Anyway, I’m busy today, I’ll be busy tomorrow, and if the date goes well, I’ll be busy all the time.”

Kang-woo hung up the call, full of excited anticipation.

Bisexual, my ass.