Expression of emotions - Chapter 5

24.

So Kang-woo asked Seung-joon for a favor.

“Hey, Kim Seung-joon, tell your friend I said thanks.”

“Am I your messenger? Tell him yourself.”

“I don’t have his number.”

“Want me to give it to you?”

“No.”

“Then tell him in person on Friday.”

But the request didn’t go through.

25.

At lunchtime, Kang-woo was eating at the campus cafeteria with Seung-joon for the first time in a while, when Tae-young happened to walk past nearby.

Oh please. Let me live without seeing that guy.

“Hey!!!! Tae-young!!!”

He tried to pretend he hadn’t seen him and quickly turned his head the other way, but it looked like Seung-joon had spotted Tae-young. What’s with this guy’s voice volume?

As Kang-woo looked at Seung-joon in embarrassment, Tae-young—who had been passing by with friends—looked over this way. And then, looking at Seung-joon, his expression brightened and walked over with his friends.

“Enjoy your meal.”

Tae-young smiled and lightly tapped Seung-joon on the head. Kang-woo’s face froze, as if he had just witnessed something he really shouldn’t have.

I’m telling, he really doesn’t realize he’s a gay guy. Kang-woo shook his head and furrowed his brow.

“Oh right, Kang-woo says he’s got something to tell you.”

At Seung-joon’s words, Kang-woo stopped eating mid-bite and froze in embarrassment. All of a sudden? Like this? You set the stage like that and expect me to talk? All Kang-woo could think was how awkward this was. Then Tae-young looked at him.

“What.”

“What.”

“What did you want to say?”

“Nothing.”

“…”

“Kang-woo, come on. You said you wanted to thank Tae-young.”

Kang-woo scrunched his forehead, feeling awkward and embarrassed. He was grateful, but in this situation… he really didn’t want to say it.

“You wanted to thank me?”

And the fact that Tae-young was asking that outright made him even less inclined to answer.

“…Yeah. Well…”

“Well what?”

Ugh… seriously. His whole body already felt twisted up inside, so he decided to just spit it out roughly and be done with it.

Kang-woo finally lifted his head with a sour expression and looked at Tae-young. Tae-young leaned one hand on the cafeteria table, looking down at Kang-woo with a face that seemed like he was holding back laughter. Kang-woo really didn’t like that look.

“Whatever. Just go already. Let me eat.”

“So you are grateful?”

“Yes. I said yes!”

“Hey, you still owe me 180,000 won.”

“That’s not even funny. Stop with that crap and leave.”

“Seung-joon-ah,¹ this guy is hopeless. Don’t hang out with him. Enjoy your meal.”

Oh wow. “Seung-joon-ah.” “Seung-joon-ah.”

Hearing “Seung-joon-ah”, which he didn’t even call in elementary school, Kang-woo scowled in discomfort. Even his way of speaking is annoying.

Wait a second. Don’t hang out with him? When Kang-woo replayed Tae-young’s words in his head, the irritation hit him a beat late. He wanted to shoot back immediately, but Tae-young had already turned around and was striding away with long legs.

As always, after seeing Tae-young, Kang-woo was left in a bad mood, frowning at the straight, retreating back.

“Hey, Kim Seung-joon. Seriously, don’t hang out with that guy. Or at least don’t acknowledge him when I’m around.”

“You know… I’m feeling really weird right now. Are you being possessive of me?”

“You… crazy. Do you have a death wish? Ah, just get lost.”

26.

It was a day when classes ended relatively early. On the way to the library, Kang-woo ran into Tae-young. He thought attending the class a week, for two whole hours long, was already more than enough, so why did they keep bumping into each other?

As always, Kang-woo planned to just glance at him and walk past. But then his arm was grabbed. Looking at Tae-young’s hand on his arm, Kang-woo was startled and shook it off.

“Hey. Is your injury better?”

“….?”

“Also, what’s your phone number?”

Even being greeted was surprising enough, but Tae-young’s next words made Kang-woo look like he’d misheard.

“…What’s with you all of a sudden.”

“I don’t think you’d ever ask me first… and I feel like we’re going to run into each other a lot from now on, so, just in case.”

Saying that, Tae-young held out his phone. Kang-woo just stared at it warily.

Why does he think we’re going to run into each other a lot?

Kang-woo thought briefly. What’s with him today? Still watching Tae-young with caution, he took the phone and entered his number, feeling extremely strange while doing it. It was awkward. It felt exactly like having some random stranger on the street suddenly ask for your number. Which made it even stranger.

“Oh, and…”

“….?”

“From now on, say thanks directly.”

At those words, Kang-woo stopped entering the number and looked at Tae-young. Wow, someone’s full of himself. He hesitated again about whether to hand the phone back with his number in it, but Tae-young glanced at the screen, and took his phone back.

As Kang-woo grabbed his backpack straps and started to walk off, the phone in his pocket vibrated.

“That’s my number. Save it or don’t.”

What kind of way is that to say it? 

Tae-young tossed the words over his shoulder and turned to go, but this time Kang-woo stopped him.

“Are you Kim Tae-young? Park Tae-young? I don’t know your last name.”

“With the common surnames—Kim, Lee, Park, Choi—why don’t you ask if I’m Lee Tae-young?”

“So? Are you Lee Tae-young?”

“No.”

“What the… crazy—are you messing with me? Just say it and go.”

“Guess you are curious. Why not just let me leave?”

“Hey. Just say it before you go.”

“Woo.”

Tae-young suddenly rounded his lips and made a sound. Kang-woo was so thrown off by the unfamiliar expression that he forgot what he had even wanted to know.

“…What are you doing.”

“Woo, as in Woo Tae-young. You really don’t know what people call me?”

“…How would I know.”

At Kang-woo’s indifferent reaction, Tae-young didn’t push further and stepped away like he was done.

“Wait. You know my name?”

“How would I know? I’m not saving it under your name anyway.”

“Then what?”

“Why do you care?”

Tae-young grinned and copied Kang-woo’s way of speaking. Then, still smiling, he waved vaguely and walked past.

Kang-woo scowled.

Why the hell did I give that guy my number?

He regretted it almost immediately. He even felt like he’d been tricked somehow.

Of course, even though they had exchanged numbers, they never contacted each other. Kang-woo didn’t even save Tae-young’s number in the first place.

Because he was annoying.

Kang-woo thought exchanging numbers had been completely pointless.

27.

Every Friday, Kang-woo would contact Seung-joon early in the morning, urging him to come early.

[Don’t be late.]

[Seriously, don’t be late.]

[Hey, Kim Seung-joon, I’ll buy you lunch, just come early.]

So for about two weeks, Seung-joon arrived three to five minutes before class started.

On Fridays, after class, the three of them would eat lunch together. By the third week of eating together, Seung-joon no longer asked, “Want to go eat?”—he asked, “What do you want to eat?”

For a while, every time Kang-woo ran into Tae-young, he made no effort to hide his discomfort, always frowning and wary. But as time passed and they kept meeting, maybe it was weariness or complacency, but he stopped trying to pick fights like before.

That didn’t mean they were friendly, and calling them friends would be a stretch. For example, running into Tae-young while walking was still the most awkward situation for Kang-woo.

Not saying hello felt rude, but saying it felt awkward too. Which made him wonder:

What does he think of me?

28.

That Friday, Kang-woo woke up early as usual. He turned on his phone to contact Seung-joon.

[ Kang-woo, I’m seriously in bad shape today. I think I’ve got food poisoning. Not going to class. Going to the hospital, so don’t nag me.]

“….”

Maybe your friend will get sick today instead?

It wasn’t like he had to be alone in the lecture hall with Tae-young, but Kang-woo still felt heavy-footed heading to class. It was burdensome.

Why?

Because… After class, they’d have to eat together.

29.

“What do you want to eat?”

As soon as class ended, Tae-young packed his bag and asked.

“…My stomach feels off, so I’m not really in the mood.”

“It’s not your stomach that’s uncomfortable, it’s you.”

It was so accurate that Kang-woo unconsciously nodded. Tae-young smirked at that. Soon Kang-woo felt awkward, scratched his forehead, and glanced at him.

“Fine. Go.”

Tae-young slung his bag over one shoulder and looked about to leave the lecture room. Kang-woo hesitated, then grabbed his shoulder.

“…Hey. You’re eating alone?”

No way.

“Yeah.”

“….”

Kang-woo couldn’t be cold-hearted.

Because he was a pushover.

30.

They weren’t close enough to sit face-to-face for a long meal, so they just decided to eat at the campus cafeteria. As expected, the atmosphere was awkward. Kang-woo kept fiddling with his phone, while Tae-young silently ate.

Thinking back, Tae-young wasn’t really that talkative either, except when he was drunk. In the noisy cafeteria, Kang-woo found the quietness that existed only at the table he shared with Tae-young to be uncomfortable.

I should’ve just gone home. Why am I putting up with this awkwardness, like I’m doing him a favor?

Kang-woo kept sneaking glances at Tae-young. But unlike him, Tae-young didn’t seem to have any particular thoughts.

What the hell. Why am I the only one feeling weird? He’s just sitting there eating happily.

Kang-woo glanced again, then finally lifted his spoon.

The table was quiet. Too quiet.