Expression of emotions - Chapter 7

36.

Over the weekend, Kang-woo went back to his old neighborhood for the first time in a while. By ‘old neighborhood’, he meant the place he’d lived until high school—the same neighborhood where his parents and eldest brother’s family still lived.

It wasn’t that far from his university, but Kang-woo lived alone near campus because his older brothers had insisted on it. He was the youngest of three, a late-born son who was fifteen years younger than his eldest brother. Because his parents were already older, his brothers had supported him from the moment he entered university, encouraging him to move out and live near school. His childhood friend Seung-joon, on the other hand, still commuted from home.

On Sunday evening, Kang-woo met up with his high school friends—Seung-joon was there of course. The guys had all finished their military service, the girls had come back from studying abroad, and it had been ages since they’d all been together. There was a lot to catch up on, and the atmosphere was lively and warm. Surrounded by familiar faces, Kang-woo felt for sure that nothing beat being with old friends. Laughing and chatting along with them, he looked like he was having the time of his life.

That was… until the utterly ridiculous, out-of-nowhere, Tae-young walked in.

37.

It wasn’t like high school, where you spent every day together from eight in the morning until ten at night. They weren’t even in the same major. So why did he keep running into Tae-young? He was annoyed.

He watched from across the room as Seung-joon greeted Tae-young at the entrance. Tae-young handed him what looked like a thick stack of printed assignment materials, and Seung-joon patted him on the shoulder, thanking him. Did he really have to bring that here, at this hour? Kang-woo found himself looking at Seung-joon with mild annoyance.

“Wow, look at those shoulders. Is he a swimmer? His body’s amazing.”

“The body’s nice, but his face—he’s seriously handsome. Kang-woo, is he from your college? Do you know him?”

The girls sitting across from him, one who had been his seat partner in senior year, and her friend, were staring at the entrance in awe.

“Nope.”

Kang-woo shook his head without hesitation and took a sip of his drink.

“…But his personality’s absolute crap.”

He added that while watching his friends’ eyes follow Tae-young.

“Isn’t he friends with Seung-joon? You just said you don’t know him.”

“…Yeah, well, I don’t. Anyway… whatever.”

The girls gave him odd looks.

“But honestly, with looks like that, it’s fine if he’s a bit rude. Right?”

At the girl’s comment, the other girls nodded in agreement, while Kang-woo and the other guys scoffed as if they found it ridiculous.

“In that case, I guess I can be completely rude too,” Kang-woo said, raising his eyebrows playfully.

“Kang-woo, guys who know they’re good-looking are really unattractive,” another girl said seriously, looking at him. The guy sitting next to Kang-woo laughed and nudged his arm, saying, “Wow, Seo Kang-woo, check out that confidence.”

It had been a petty remark born of spite, but even as he said it, Kang-woo felt a little embarrassed. He took a deep breath through his nose and downed another sip of his soju.

“Hey, Kim Seung-joon! Tell your friend to come have a drink with us!”

The girl who’d first commented on Tae-young’s looks called out. The rest of the girls clapped and beamed at Seung-joon, clearly pleased with her suggestion. Seung-joon said something to Tae-young, and soon returned with him in tow. Only Kang-woo looked at Tae-young young with a displeased expression.

“This is my classmate, Woo Tae-young. He can’t drink—he drove here.”

“Then just tell him to leave.”

At Seung-joon’s words, Kang-woo grumbled irritably. But none of his friends responded to him. The silence left him feeling awkward. He briefly met Tae-young’s eyes, but Tae-young quickly turned his gaze toward the friends who were welcoming him.

“Wow, you already have your own car?”

“Nah, I just borrowed my dad’s for a bit.”

Soon the conversation shifted from old high school memories to everyone’s current college life and somehow, the focus of the table fell squarely on Tae-young. He fit into the group easily, smiling and chatting despite the unfamiliar setting.

Kang-woo sat with his chin propped up, lips pressed tight, watching the whole thing with silent displeasure.

He’s not like this. He’s totally pretending to be friendly.

The attention focused on Tae-young showed no signs of dying down. Meanwhile, Kang-woo was the only one feeling uncomfortable.

Then suddenly, he wondered — was Tae-young like that the first time they met too?

But he couldn’t quite remember. Back then, he had just known his face and name, until one day, Tae-young suddenly appeared in front of him while he was crying, throwing out a “Are you a pushover?” and then disappeared.

And so, Kang-woo found himself feeling annoyed all over again.

38.

After a long evening of drinking and laughter, Kang-woo stood to leave first. As much as Tae-young’s presence bothered him, that wasn’t the reason, he had class early Monday morning, and it was already past eleven. He needed to catch the subway before service stopped.

As he got ready, Tae-young stood up as well. It wasn’t like he could drink, and there wasn’t much for him to contribute to a reunion of old classmates.

“Kang-woo, ask Tae-young to give you a ride. He’s passing by your school anyway.”

Seung-joon grinned, nodding toward the already-departing Tae-young. Kang-woo just shook his head and left the bar first.

39.

Kang-woo stepped out of the restaurant and started walking toward the subway, but stopped in his tracks. A moment later, the door opened and Tae-young came out behind him. Kang-woo turned to look at him.

“Hey.”

“Yeah?”

“You’re picky about the people you talk to. What’s your standard?”

Tae-young gave him a look, as if to say, What are you talking about?

“I just realized, you’re not even close to me, but you’re only rude to me.”

“And you’re not close to me, but you act rude to me too.”

“I wasn’t like that at first. You were the one who….”

“No. You were like that from the start.”

From the start? No way.

Honestly, bickering over something as vague as ‘the start’, which he didn’t even remember clearly, felt pointless to Kang-woo. In the end, raising his voice like this was pointless too. Come to think of it, everything involving Tae-young was utterly pointless. So why did they keep running into each other for no reason, clashing, and ending up face-to-face just to get on each other’s nerves?

He suddenly wondered why he had even asked Tae-young about his so-called standards. Whatever those standards were, they had nothing to do with him and were of no interest to him anyway.

He looked Tae-young up and down, then turned away. If he stuck around, he’d probably just get irritated again.

“And you’re not just rude, you’re a pushover, too.”

At those words, Kang-woo stopped walking.

“A pushover.”

He turned around at that. Tae-young, looking irritating as ever, had his arms crossed and was nodding to himself as if confirming some truth.

“You son of a….!”

Kang-woo finally lost his temper. He reached out and grabbed Tae-young’s collar roughly.

40.

“Don’t call me a pushover. You wanna die?”

“….”

“Even if I’m a pushover or not, what’s it to you?”

Kang-woo growled the words, glaring upward into Tae-young’s face.

But the scene didn’t really come off as threatening to Tae-young.Was it because Tae-young was taller? Or was it because, even with Kang-woo clutching his collar, Tae-young just looked down at him with a completely unfazed expression?

Just as Kang-woo was starting to feel a little awkward, Tae-young, looking irritated, brushed off Kang-woo’s hand that was gripping his collar. Kang-woo was left holding nothing, and the empty hand only made him feel more embarrassed.

41.

Kang-woo stood at 183 centimeters tall. He’d always been taller than most of his peers, and ever since starting high school, there were few occasions where he had to look up at someone.

But Tae-young was much taller than Kang-woo. His broad shoulders and solid build made him seem even bigger when seen up close.

“So, how’s the ‘occasional’ hi with your ex going?”

Kang-woo’s frown deepened at the random question.

“What…? Can’t you at least make your comments connect logically? And what does that have to do with you?”

“I don’t make friends with pushovers.”

“…Excuse me? You say that like I want to be friends with you.”

“You asked about my ‘standards’ earlier—felt like you were trying to see if I wanted to be friends with you.”

“Don’t you feel embarrassed, making assumptions like that?”

“Not really. No matter how embarrassing I might be, I couldn’t possibly outdo the crap you’ve pulled.”

“You never let me get the last word, huh?”

“Why would I lose to a pushover? That’d be humiliating.”

Tae-young looked down at Kang-woo with a sly grin, as if deliberately provoking him. Then, brushing at the wrinkled collar around his own neck in an infuriatingly casual way, he smirked.

Tae-young then headed toward the car he had parked. Kang-woo, watching his back, could only fume and breathe heavily in irritation.

42.

“Hey. I’m passing by the school on my way—want a ride?” Tae-young said, pausing as he opened the car door and flashing a magnanimous smile at Kang-woo.

“If you were me, would you get in, you idiot?”

Kang-woo flipped him the middle finger with emphasis, then turned away and stomped off toward the subway station.