Expression of emotions - Chapter 8

43.

Not long after midterms ended, Kang-woo was already drowning under a pile of assignments. As usual, he worked through the easy ones step by step, but the major assignment he just couldn’t bring himself to touch—until three days before the deadline. Or rather, he tried to.

But…

He just couldn’t.

Derivatives… integrals… graphs… analysis… derivation… explanation…

During the lecture, the professor had said they weren’t going to write a thesis on this, so it was enough to just understand the concepts. But the more Kang-woo looked at the assignment, the more absurd it felt.

Isn’t this basically a scam?

When choosing courses, Kang-woo had always preferred major classes with small enrollments. Of course, there must’ve been a reason people avoided them, but back then it didn’t feel important—and he figured the school wouldn’t make them take something literally impossible.

He had guts, but now he was paying the price with deep regret.

44.

Kang-woo was a business major. If he were any good at math, he would’ve followed his friends into engineering.

He flipped through the textbook, struggling with the assignment, but the more he looked the more he felt crushed, wondering, What the hell did I even learn in class?

So after scribbling half an answer to just one question, he messaged Seung-joon for help.

[Looking for Kim Seung-jun to help with my assignment.]

[I’ll buy you food and drinks.]

A reply came almost immediately.

[Call.]

[But I’ve got a department gathering in two hours. You think we can finish before then?]

[Probably not. But whatever, it’s due the day after tomorrow.]

[Then wanna meet for at least two hours?]

Before heading to the café near his place and the back gate of the school, Kang-woo sent one more message.

[Hey, just in case—make sure you ditch your sidekick before you come

[Sidekick?]

[You know who I mean.

Woo Tae-young.]

46.

But when Kang-woo arrived, the first person he spotted at the counter was Tae-young—along with Seok-min, another friend of Seung-jun’s he’d seen a couple of times. Kang-woo was already exasperated. Afraid of locking eyes with Tae-young, he quickly turned his head and searched for Seung-joon instead.

Seung-joon had already ordered and was sipping a blended drink at a table.

“Hey. Didn’t I tell you—specifically—not to bring Woo Tae-young?”

The moment Kang-woo spoke, with his face serious, Seung-joon, who had been about to greet him warmly, froze with wide eyes, glancing around nervously.

“No… originally the four of us were hanging out, debating whether to watch a movie before the gathering, and then I said I was going to a café, so they just came too. They’re sitting over there. Look over there, you know Kim Young-hoon? They’ll all sit at his table.”

Kang-woo looked where Seung-joon was pointing, accidentally locking eyes with the one called Young-hoon. The boy grinned and nodded at him, so Kang-woo gave a stiff nod back before sitting down.

“So, what’s the assignment? Hey, no way I’d know this better than you—it’s your major—” He cut himself off, gaping. “What the hell.”

Seung-joon stared at the printed handout with incredulity, then looked at Kang-woo.

“You, who threw a tantrum in senior year about how much you hated math, ended up in Management Science?”

46.

Still, Seung-joon earnestly helped him with the assignment. Kang-woo listened as he explained the solutions while writing them out, impressed once again at how much of a true engineering student he was, even if his handwriting looked like chicken scratch.

But after finishing just one problem, Seung-joon stalled at the second. Three more still remained, and Kang-woo, remembering that his friend only had two hours, grew anxious, checking the time repeatedly.

Finally, Seung-joon lifted his head from the paper.

“What, is it too hard? You can’t solve it?”

“I think I could… if I use a chance.”

“What chance?”

“…My friends over there.”

Kang-woo glanced at the three seated near the door when Seung-joon said it sheepishly. Ugh. Of all things, he really didn’t want to rely on Woo Tae-young’s hand.

But Kang-woo had no other choice.

47.

Seung-joon called them over, and the three took turns skimming through Kang-woo’s assignment, sometimes breaking into discussions together. The supposed business major, Kang-woo, sat dumbfounded while they—outsiders—debated over his own homework. Yeah. Long live the engineering major. The self-loathing felt even worse than yesterday when he faced the assignment alone.

Maybe it was just because Tae-young was there? Kang-woo felt like Tae-young was always around whenever something humiliating happened.

The pen kept passing between the four of them while Kang-woo sat helpless, watching it and the papers get shuffled around. They didn’t even bother explaining anymore, just discussed among themselves and wrote directly on the handout.

Kang-woo started to question whether it was really worth going this far just to finish an assignment.

When they solved the second problem, the group clapped and cheered. Kang-woo felt completely detached, as if it had nothing to do with him.

“I think I can do this one.”

But for the third problem, the pen stopped in Tae-young’s hand and never left.

He tackled the problem alone, with a serious expression. Kang-woo, who had only ever seen him wearing that smug, teasing look, found this side of Tae-young—so absorbed in the assignment—strangely unfamiliar. Watching him focus so earnestly, and on his own assignment at that, made Kang-woo feel a bit awkward. Of course, Tae-young probably didn’t have the slightest thought about that.

Watching Tae-young’s unusual earnestness filled Kang-woo with both unease and a sense of pressure.

48.

“Hey. We’ve gotta go now.”

It was time for the meeting, Seung-joon said. Kang-woo nodded and looked at him—but Seung-joon’s gaze was fixed on Tae-young. So Kang-woo also looked at Tae-young, who was still in the middle of working on the third problem.

“Woo Tae-young! Let’s go.”

“uh”

Young-hoon tapped him on the shoulder, but Tae-young barely responded and kept working.

“…Wait. Let me just finish this.”

“…See? He’s hooked again. Woo Tae’s probably not coming,” Seung-joon muttered, scratching his brow like he’d seen this many times before.

“Woo Tae-young, you’re gonna be late. Unless you want to show up after the seniors, we need to leave now.”

“Ugh, if I leave this half-done, it’ll bug me. Just a little longer.”

Despite his friends’ urging, Tae-young stayed glued to the problem. Seung-joon checked his phone, while Kang-woo sat frozen, the most flustered of all.

“Hey. Just stop and go.”

Kang-woo even tried to cover the handout, but Tae-young caught his wrist in an instant.

“Sorry, but I can’t. I need to finish this—my personality won’t let me rest.”

He said it firmly.

…Excuse me? This is MY assignment. Kang-woo glanced desperately at Seung-joon.

“…Forget it. Just leave him,” Seung-joon said.

To make matters worse, it really looked like the three of them were going to leave Tae-young behind and head off on their own. Feeling awkward, Kang-woo shifted his gaze from Tae-young to Seung-joon.

“…Hey, aren’t you supposed to go to your gathering?”

“Don’t talk to me. I’m busy.”

Tae-young frowned when Kang-woo tried again, so he fell silent, watching nervously instead.

Unable to wait any longer, the three gave Tae-young a pat on the shoulder, telling him to keep up the good work, and hurried out of the café. Kang-woo was dumbfounded that Tae-young, with his head still buried in the assignment, didn’t even look up.

[If Woo Tae-young doesn’t finish that, you’re not going home either.]

Seung-joon messaged from the gathering. Kang-woo glanced at Tae-young, still gripping the handout tightly.

I’m seriously stunned right now.

[Woo Tae-young’s persistence is no joke. Once he latches onto something, he sees it through. Why else would he be top of the class? He’ll solve everything.]

[“He’s on the fourth problem now. I didn’t know this assignment was this insane.”

[“Me neither. Your professor must be out of his mind.”]

[Exactly.]

50.

Even 30 minutes after the others had left, Tae-young was still silently working. Kang-woo fiddled with his phone, torn between gratitude and discomfort—gratitude that his assignment was being solved, discomfort that it was Tae-young doing it.

When he peeked at the messy notes, he almost fainted. Tae-young’s solutions were so convoluted that Kang-woo knew he’d never be able to make sense of them later.

“Hey, sorry…”

Tae-young glanced up.

“Um… could you… maybe write it a bit more legibly?”

The request sounded so shameless he trailed off, but Tae-young only smiled faintly and nodded.

“I’ll rewrite it neatly after I finish.”

Huh? What did he just say?

The unexpectedly gentle tone left Kang-woo stunned, his eyes frozen in disbelief. Was this really the same Tae-young he knew? He was pretty sure it was the first time he’d ever seen Tae-young smile like that—an actual smile, not a smirk.

Well, it’s not like I ever really knew him, anyway. Kang-woo snuck glances at the unfamiliar side of him, then went back to fiddling with his phone.

[Your friend is weird.]

[Why?]

[Don’t know. Just weird.]

51.

Kang-woo kept watching Tae-young, who was pouring his focus into the assignment without pause. It was just… fascinating. At this rate, the paper Tae-young was staring holes into might wear thin.

Hm, but damn… this bastard really is good-looking.

Before he realized it, Kang-woo found himself studying his face. For some reason, Tae-young kept feeling unfamiliar to him today. That must’ve been why he couldn’t stop looking. His eyes wandered on their own, tracing from Tae-young’s straight forehead down to his eyes, nose, lips—when suddenly Tae-young lifted his head. Their eyes met. Kang-woo flinched in surprise at the sudden eye contact.

“What are you staring at?”

Tae-young arched a brow at him. So much for being unfamiliar.

“…What.”

Embarrassed, Kang-woo made a strangely unpleasant expression.

“You done?”

“Yeah.”

“Thanks.”

Kang-woo took his assignment back from Tae-young.

52.

Tae-young grabbed his backpack first and stood up. Kang-woo looked at him for a moment, then stood up too. Maybe he should at least buy him a meal?

“Uh… wanna grab food? My treat.”

The words tumbled out awkwardly. Who would’ve thought a day would come when he said something like that to Tae-young? Tae-young immediately broke into a smile.

“What are you laughing?”

“Just remembered how you used to hate the idea of eating with me.”

“Well… even today, yeah, kind of. But still. I owe you.”

“True enough. Damn, this is hilarious.”

“What’s hilarious. I’m asking if you’re eating.”

“Yeah. But don’t you supposed to buy food and drinks too? That’s what Kim Seung-joon said.”

Considering Tae-young had done almost all the work, Kang-woo couldn’t exactly argue. Still, it left him dumbfounded.

“That’s Seung-joon.”

“But you don’t think I practically did everything today?”

As he’d noticed before, Tae-young was a genius at taking credit.

“You really wanna sit across from me and eat, drink, all that?”

“Sure. If it’s free.”

“Keep chasing free stuff like that and you’ll go bald.”

“My family’s been blessed with too much hair for generations. No risk there.”

Why do I even waste breath bickering with him?

Pointless back-and-forth kept spinning on. Kang-woo sighed and shut his mouth.

“Oh, right. Don’t you have to go to your department meeting?”

“Nope. I’d rather get something tastier out of you.”

On whose authority…?

Somehow, finishing the assignment made it feel like even more of a burden than before.