Flame War Anthem: Beyond the Galactic River (GL) - Chapter 18

The overwhelming longing once again left her unable to control herself. She should have been able to let go, but all efforts proved futile.

Over the years, even when someone was willing to offer genuine care, she would politely decline.

This way, at least in her heart, her love remained whole—she wanted to preserve that most sincere and purest affection for Xiao Xi.

She didn’t want anyone to tarnish this beautiful feeling, nor did she wish to lead others on, because in her world, there was simply no room for anyone else.

She was too good—sometimes, that very goodness became a heavy poison, consumed day by day, with no antidote other than Xiao Xi.

Since joining the Dragon Combat Unit, her physical condition had improved significantly, yet she had begun to rely on the daze and numbness that came with exhaustion.

That feeling allowed her to briefly forget the pain of losing Xiao Xi, giving her a momentary respite in the long, unending years.

With family and friends, she could confide in them about any troubles—whether trivial daily matters or the pressures of work.

Yet this hidden affection, locked deep in her heart like a secret, remained unspoken, never to be mentioned to anyone.

It was her pain alone, her memories alone, something she could only bear and grieve over by herself.

She believed what Xue Ran had said. If it were truly as she described, whether that person was Xiao Xi or not, she would give anything just to see her again.

Even if only for a fleeting moment, she was willing to pay any price.

Under the dim glow of the streetlights, her slender figure cast a long, slanting shadow.

She had walked for who knows how long, nearing the outskirts where pedestrians and vehicles grew scarce, the entire world sinking into silence.

Then, a low rumble of thunder echoed from the overcast sky. The wind picked up, scattering fallen leaves in all directions.

The sparse shadows of trees swayed—the heavy rain, brewing for days, was finally about to arrive.

The love Yan Yu had long harbored in her heart was never something she liked to voice aloud.

Instead, she wove that intense affection into the quiet, everyday gestures of care, hoping to warm and comfort Xiao Xi’s heart.

Once she realized she had fallen in love, she gave all of herself without reservation—only, for her, this love had always existed under the guise of friendship.

Now, no matter how the future unfolded, she could only walk alone toward the end of her life, wondering if Xiao Xi would still be waiting for her then…

Gradually, she sank back into that obsessive trance, unable to break free.

Tonight, the pent-up longing could no longer be contained. Shattered, it finally spilled out completely in her heart, piercing the nerves long numbed, leaving her defenseless against the pain.

With that thought, Yan Yu wiped away her tears and slowly walked to the roadside. Seeing a car approach, she raised her hand, and a taxi promptly stopped before her.

She slid into the back seat and murmured, “Driver, please take me to the Martyrs’ Cemetery.”

The driver, though seated in the dim light, was visibly burly. Thinking he might have misheard, he asked again, “Miss, it’s very late. Are you sure you want to go to the Martyrs’ Cemetery?”

“Yes…”

“Alright.”

The driver asked no further, pressed the meter, and stepped on the gas.

With little traffic at night, the forty-minute drive to the cemetery in the eastern suburbs passed in silence.

Yan Yu paid the fare, thanked him, and stepped out of the car.

“Miss, there are no cars around here at night. I’ll wait and drive you home,” the taxi driver called out through the open window.

Yan Yu illuminated her path with her phone’s flashlight, took a few steps, then turned back with a faint smile. “Thank you, sir… but I want to stay with my loved one. Please don’t wait for me.”

The driver, a retired veteran himself, had initially wondered why she’d come to this place so late but hadn’t asked. Now hearing her words, he was deeply moved—what kind of love could bring such a gentle woman here through the rain?

He quickly grabbed an umbrella from his car and hurried after her. “The rain’s getting heavier. Take this so you don’t get soaked.”

Yan Yu accepted the umbrella with a nod of gratitude before continuing on alone. The driver watched as her faint light gradually disappeared into the dark night.

The Martyrs’ Cemetery lay at the foot of Phoenix Mountain east of the city, surrounded by serene natural beauty. In late autumn, the golden leaves created a spectacular view, though now obscured by darkness and rain. Yan Yu walked slowly, her steps heavy, yet she remembered exactly where her beloved’s resting place was despite her long absence.

The downpour intensified, bringing with it the scent of damp earth. Here lay the heroic soldiers of the People’s Liberation Army who had sacrificed their lives—some with only cenotaphs when their remains couldn’t be recovered from battlefields. An Jingxi was among them.

Each identical tombstone bore a bright red five-pointed star at its peak. Unlike older markers, recent ones featured photographs of the fallen in uniform. The cold rain dripped over these hard surfaces, the dim light reflecting on faces frozen in youth—lives cut short during missions.

Years had passed, times had changed, yet these heroes remained forever young. Coming here alone at midnight didn’t frighten Yan Yu; they had been the most admirable people in life and remained so in death. Visiting Xiao Xi somehow eased the burning pain in her heart.

Finally reaching the grave, she took a deep breath of the chilly mountain air and exhaled slowly, calming her tense emotions. “Xiao Xi, I’m sorry it’s been so long…”

Years apart, yet memories remained vivid—painful as poison. Though she missed him terribly, she rarely visited, usually only on Qingming Festival and his death anniversary. Tonight’s rainy pilgrimage left her physically and emotionally chilled despite the umbrella’s protection.

Standing silently before the tombstone, she struggled for words—how to begin, what to say? Seasons had turned, people had come and gone in her life, but none of it mattered. From beginning to end, all she’d ever wanted was Xiao Xi.

She didn’t believe in spirits, yet desperately hoped for reincarnation. If past lives existed, might they meet again in another?

Thinking of Xiao Xi enduring scorching summers and bitter winters here time and again, Yan Yu knew she was being overly sentimental, yet couldn’t stop the ache in her heart. With a long sigh, she murmured in a low voice, “Xiao Xi, if possible, I’d give anything to have you alive and well. How wonderful that would be…”

Two clear tears rolled down as her free hand caressed the cold photograph.

Her lover and dearest friend, the person she wanted to spend her whole life with—why had they vanished without a sound, leaving not even a trace behind…