Flirting Under Favor (GL) - Chapter 36

Mu Fan followed Wang Lin out of the bar and stopped at the entrance, speechless for a moment. An invisible barrier stood between the two of them.

It was almost summer. The gentle evening sun shone diagonally, casting long, long shadows of everything in this world. The glass curtain wall in the distance glittered with gold, and the street was bustling with people. Yet, around Wang Lin and Mu Fan, it was eerily silent.

Wang Lin broke the silence first: “What are you doing here?”

“Si Qing said you disappeared, I…”

Wang Lin glanced at Si Qing, who was standing straight at attention and looking forward, and understood what had happened.

“I’m fine.” She struggled to control the sea of emotions surging in her chest, tightly clutching the corner of her clothes.

Wang Lin’s cold attitude made Mu Fan feel terribly miserable. The girl who always clung to her and acted spoiled seemed to be gone forever. But what right did she have to feel bad about it? A layer of frost had formed over her heart. She stood there stunned, looking embarrassed, and yet, lost.

“It’s good that you’re fine… well, I’ll be going then.”

Mu Fan’s heart was filled with boundless disappointment. Disappointment about what? Why the disappointment? She was unwilling, did not want, and dared not to investigate it.

She turned and took a few steps, then suddenly stopped. Her feet felt welded to the spot, unable to take another half step.

She heard sobbing behind her.

“Go away! Why are you stopping!” The sobbing grew more distinct.

That heartbreaking sound of crying felt like a knife twisting in Mu Fan’s heart. With a blink, two lines of hot tears streamed uncontrollably from her eyes.

She slowly turned around. The girl behind her was already tear-stained, looking in her direction.

Leave? No matter how resolute and heartless she was, how could she leave now?

“You… go…” Wang Lin cried, her face a mess, sobbing nonstop. Passersby nearby glanced over, imagining the scene in their minds. Usually, the person opposite Wang Lin should be a boy, but seeing it was a girl of a similar age made them a little confused. A quarrel between best friends?

Wang Lin’s eyes only held Mu Fan, and Mu Fan’s eyes only held Wang Lin. Everything else around them seemed to be automatically blocked out.

Mu Fan finally moved. She walked in front of Wang Lin, raised her hand, her fingers stiffly curled, and then wrapped her arms around Wang Lin’s shoulders. But Wang Lin seemed to resist her touch, taking two steps back and pulling away.

“Don’t touch me.” Wang Lin looked at Mu Fan, mechanically shaking her head. A puddle of water at her feet was all her tears.

Don’t touch me.

Mu Fan’s heart ached and ached. The person who used to cling to her so much was now saying, don’t touch me. Yet, she was the one who caused this situation. Why did her heart ache? Wasn’t this exactly what she wanted?

Her heart felt like it was plugged with a heavy weight.

She moved forward a little more and pulled Wang Lin into a tight embrace. Wang Lin struggled a few times, but finally sank weakly onto Mu Fan’s shoulder.

“Go away… go, you… don’t you like me? Why did you come back… woo-woo-woo… go away…”

Wang Lin was crying incoherently, but Mu Fan knew what she was saying.

“Don’t cry.” Mu Fan lightly rubbed her face against the head of the person in her arms, saying in a shaky voice: “I’m not leaving.”

Wang Lin didn’t speak again, only continued to shed tears. Mu Fan just held her, comforting her.

The onlookers stared blankly.

After crying for an unknown amount of time, Wang Lin’s emotions finally calmed down. Lying on Mu Fan’s shoulder, she murmured hoarsely: “You like me, right? Is that true? Why?” As she spoke, tears flowed again as if they were free.

She slowly pulled away from Mu Fan, took a tissue from Si Qing, and blew her nose and wiped her tears in front of everyone.

Mu Fan took her hand, squeezed it, and said gently: “Let’s go somewhere else to talk. Okay?”

Wang Lin didn’t respond, but Mu Fan didn’t mind. She led her toward a deserted tree-lined path. Wang Lin didn’t resist, silently following her.

They found a long bench and sat down, looking at the scenery ahead: the sun setting, cars passing by, and pedestrians milling about.

A deathly silence.

Mu Fan spoke first: “I’m sorry.”

Wang Lin turned her red and swollen eyes to look at Mu Fan. Mu Fan didn’t move, only stared ahead.

“For hurting you.”

“What’s the use of being sorry?” Wang Lin lowered her head, looking at the ground.

“Why, why didn’t you say anything?” Wang Lin’s emotions became agitated again. “Why didn’t you make it clear! If you really didn’t like me, I wouldn’t force you. But.” Her tears fell again. “Was I wrong about how you felt?”

Mu Fan turned and pulled her into a hug: “You weren’t wrong.”

“I like you. Very much. Very, very much…”

Wang Lin broke free of her embrace, looking at her with complex, tear-filled eyes.

If she liked her, why did she reject her so cruelly?

“Why?”

Mu Fan bit her lip, her gaze dropping to the ground, and spoke with difficulty: “Blame me, I overthought things. You know my circumstances. I…”

“I don’t care!” Wang Lin said excitedly. “You are so outstanding, and everything is only temporary. All my possessions aren’t even mine. You are a hundred times better than me!” Wang Lin didn’t believe Mu Fan was only holding back because of this, and pressed her: “Is it only because of this?”

Mu Fan shook her head.

Wang Lin looked at her, waiting for her to continue.

Mu Fan asked her: “Do you know how my father died?”

Wang Lin was puzzled and said with a heavy heart: “Wasn’t it because of a business failure, and he couldn’t cope?”

“Not entirely.” Mu Fan shook her head, her expression sorrowful.

“When I was in high school, I liked a woman.”

Wang Lin was not too surprised that Mu Fan had an ex.

“I don’t mind that.”

“I haven’t finished. Listen to me.”

“Go on.”

“Her name was Li Xixi. She was seven or eight years older than me. I liked her very much back then. I thought she was the best person in the world. We dated. Once, we were spotted off-campus by a classmate, and the news quickly spread.”

Mu Fan narrated calmly: “My family found out. They beat me up, called me a pervert, and demanded that I break off contact with her immediately, or else I should get out of the house and stop shaming them.”

“Back then, I was rebellious and stubborn. I chose to leave home, hating everyone who opposed us, despising them for being narrow-minded, ignorant, and not knowing what love was.”

“My family couldn’t really kick me out. I was boarding at school, and they came to school to drag me back, so the whole school found out.”

“They locked me up at home. All my relatives and friends knew. The news about the Mu family having a lesbian pervert was the talk of the town; everyone knew.”

“But I didn’t care.”

“I refused to give in.”

“Later, you know the rest. My mom’s health suddenly deteriorated around that time, too.”

Wang Lin listened blankly, her face filled with disbelief.

So, so that was the tragic reason behind all of this.

Then, Mu Fan’s crying spell in the hotel must have been about more than just a collection call and stress; she must have recalled these past events.

Wang Lin’s eyes welled up. Heavens, her Mu Fan, the Mu Fan she loved, the strong and outstanding Mu Fan, was burdened with such a past.

It means Mu Fan indirectly caused her parents’… Wang Lin couldn’t bring herself to think it. Her eyes were wide, as if she had thought of the most terrifying thing in the world.

“What about her?” Wang Lin asked blankly.

“Are you talking about Li Xixi?” Mu Fan smiled bitterly and shook her head, immensely sad. “She disappeared.”

Wang Lin was shocked again.

“She contacted me later,” Mu Fan continued. “Actually, she didn’t love me. She said I looked very much like a woman named ‘Xian’. Xian was her lover, and she had passed away.”

Wang Lin’s heart churned like the sea.

“After Xian died, she met me, thinking I could replace the person who left. Later, when she saw me making such a fuss for her, she… backed down.”

“My family was ruined, and I got nothing.”

“Wang Lin,” Mu Fan looked at Wang Lin and asked her: “If your family doesn’t agree to us being together, what will you do?”

“I—” Wang Lin hadn’t seriously considered this question. “My mom loves me very much. She should—” She wasn’t sure. “No matter what, I won’t give up on you!”

Mu Fan asked again: “What if they threaten suicide?”

Wang Lin was speechless. She only shook her head repeatedly, murmuring: “They won’t. My mom, my grandparents, they all love me. They won’t…”

“Will you walk down my path?” Mu Fan looked at Wang Lin gently and asked.

Wang Lin couldn’t answer her and chose to be silent.

Mu Fan took Wang Lin’s hand, holding both of their hands together, and said slowly: “This path is covered with thorns and malice. Even if your family doesn’t threaten suicide, they might kick you out and cut off your financial support. I’m still deep in debt and can barely take care of myself. What will happen to you if you follow me?”

Wang Lin stammered: “I’m not afraid of hardship.”

“I am.” Mu Fan unconsciously tightened her grip on Wang Lin’s hand. “I like you. I don’t want you to suffer. I especially don’t want you to fall out with your family, and I’m even more afraid of you repeating my mistakes. You deserve a peaceful and smooth life.”

Wang Lin didn’t directly answer Mu Fan’s words but understood her. She leaned on Mu Fan’s shoulder, skipped the topic, and asked her about something else: “Did you know I had a boyfriend recently? Did Yu Sheng and the others tell you?”

Mu Fan hadn’t expected Wang Lin to ask this. She replied: “I knew.”

“I didn’t like him,” Wang Lin said softly, like a gentle breeze at night. “How did you feel when you found out?”

What did she feel?

Mu Fan bit her lip, her eyelashes fluttering gently.

“I didn’t do anything intimate with him. We didn’t even hold hands,” Wang Lin said slowly.

“Mu Fan, what would you feel if I held his hand, or kissed him, or even… more?”

Mu Fan didn’t answer.

Wang Lin continued: “I imagined that if you were with another boy, I absolutely couldn’t accept it. Absolutely not. Unless you didn’t like me, then I would accept it.”

“To like someone is to possess them. I like you, so I don’t want anyone else to touch you!”

“Is that how you feel about me, too?”