Goddess Strategy GL - Chapter 33
Brother Pidan pulled a mirror over, aimed it at Ye Ruoqing’s face, and exclaimed: “Your expression, it’s really spot on.”
“Spot on for what?”
“A jealous woman.”
“You’ve watched too many palace dramas, time-traveling man.”
Brother Pidan shook his finger: “Act? True actors don’t act. The loss of that instinct will confine the role itself to the actor’s own imagination. That’s why, have you ever seen your Brother Dali act as an inferiority-complex guy? The answer is no. Because in and out of character, I am this confident!”
Ye Ruoqing rubbed the goosebumps on her arms: “Don’t plagiarize the Rejoice shampoo advertisement…”
Brother Pidan said: “No, no, no, Xiao Ye, you need to pay attention to my main point. I’m using myself as an example to talk about a form of art. In terms of the art of acting, there are mainly two schools of thought: one is the representational school, and the other is the experiential school. Lee Strasberg, Marilyn Monroe’s mentor, once said…”
Ye Ruoqing made a pause gesture: “Stop, stop, stop—can you say something simpler, with shorter names? I know Monroe, who is that person after her?”
“Lee Strasberg? Monroe’s mentor. Haven’t I told you?”
“The name is too long, I can’t remember it!”
“I haven’t even mentioned Konstantin S… S-what’s-his-name, I forget… Anyway, he’s a Soviet. You know, names are like the Russian border line.”
“Get to the point!”
“In short, just remember two schools. One originated from theatre, teaching you how to play good people and how to play bad people. The latter advocates for the actor and the role to become one. Understand?”
“What’s the use of telling me this? I don’t act.”
Brother Pidan pulled out a thick stack of documents from his bag: “Who says you don’t act? I’m here today to discuss the short film issue with you.”
Ye Ruoqing moved the documents aside and opened the first page, completely dizzy.
The first page was densely packed with acting theories such as An Actor Prepares and monographs by some film masters. The next page listed a viewing guide for a hundred films according to time. As for the following pages, Ye Ruoqing could guess without looking, they were definitely Brother Pidan’s self-proclaimed “masterpieces.”
Brother Pidan proudly flicked the pages: “Thorough, right? I’m telling you, after reading this guide by your Brother Dali, I guarantee your short film will be a blockbuster.”
“Thank you,” Ye Ruoqing handed the stack of documents back to him. “Don’t overrate me. Forget about the movies. How am I supposed to read so many professional books?”
“Besides, I’m only shooting one short film.”
“Are you sure that’s just a ‘short film’?”
Although this audition came suddenly, Ye Ruoqing took it quite seriously. She had been drifting for a long time, and now she was finally settled and no longer had to worry about not having enough to eat or wear. Without the pressure of life, she could wholeheartedly devote herself to her dream. If possible, she also hoped to make a name for herself sooner. Time waits for no one.
“Then tell me everything you know about Zhao Xin’s boyfriend, and I’ll accept you as my teacher.”
“Deal.”
Brother Pidan actually didn’t know much about Zhao Xin’s sudden dating. She had many admirers, but she was hard to approach, so those who pursued her always had to rely on favors to convey their interest. This time was extraordinary. Zhao Xin talked to the person directly at the banquet and exchanged phone numbers right then and there.
It was a lightning-fast speed.
“Tch, how boring.”
“What’s boring?”
“I mean the two of them are boring. I don’t believe in love at first sight. It’s all those literati who couldn’t get girls, so they wrote a few articles to fool people. Zhao Xin is an adult, how can she still be like a young girl, constantly daydreaming about ‘The Overbearing CEO Falls in Love With Me’?”
Ye Ruoqing forgot that she also fell in love with Zeng Jie at first sight back then.
“That person really is a CEO.”
Ye Ruoqing took a summer orange from the fruit basket, peeled it, put a segment in her mouth, and threw the rest to Brother Pidan: “I was just saying, what’s so great? If I hadn’t been kicked out by my parents, I’d be a CEO too now.”
“Sour!”
“Who’s sour?”
Brother Pidan innocently spit out the orange: “Ptooey ptooey ptooey, why is this orange so sour?”
“Then don’t eat it.” Ye Ruoqing took the orange back. “I still have to practice singing tonight. I can’t waste all my time studying the short film with you.”
“I know, I know. I’m just providing these materials as a reference. If you don’t want to read them, then forget it. I will pass on my chewed-up essence to you.”
Ye Ruoqing turned her head and saw the orange Brother Pidan had spit out in the trash can, which gave her an inexplicable chill.
“Please, can you speak like a normal person… don’t use too many similes and metaphors, I can’t handle it…”
“Come on, Petrel, the proud flying Petrel, the Petrel that longs for the storm, stand up!”
Brother Pidan stood up, waving his hands up and down: “Stand up, face the mirror, be more confident!”
Ye Ruoqing climbed up from the floor. Brother Pidan made a gentlemanly “please” gesture, leading Ye Ruoqing to the full-length mirror by the entrance.
Ye Ruoqing looked at herself, then at Brother Pidan, and then at the shoe cabinet.
“Why are you looking at me? Look at the mirror.”
“Let me ask you a question.”
“Say it.”
“Are you secretly wearing height-increasing shoes?”
“…Be careful or I’ll hit you.”
“You can’t win against me.” Ye Ruoqing proudly turned around, put two fingers of her right hand on her forehead, and compared heights with Brother Pidan. “We’re the same height! I can’t believe your Baidu profile says 185.”
“…”
Because of the secret Ye Ruoqing unintentionally uncovered, Brother Pidan decided to make this lesson more down-to-earth—he had originally planned to enthusiastically recite Gorky’s The Song of the Stormy Petrel with Ye Ruoqing, letting them immerse themselves in the baptism of the storm, transforming, shedding their skin, feeling the throbbing of the soul, and receiving a spiritual cleansing.
Ye Ruoqing said she was a country bumpkin from the inland and had never seen a petrel, so Brother Pidan chose something that swims and is related to the sea, which Ye Ruoqing loved to eat—Mantis Shrimp.
“This is a cry from the soul. You can’t stand from the perspective of a food lover; you must stand from the perspective of the Mantis Shrimp—read this long Weibo post and feel it.”
Ye Ruoqing read the Weibo post once. Brother Pidan asked: “Do you feel anything?”
Ye Ruoqing nodded, half-understanding: “Mantis Shrimp are too miserable!”
“How miserable?”
“Extremely miserable! Humans are too cruel!”
“Yes, too cruel!”
Brother Pidan turned Ye Ruoqing’s head towards the mirror: “Come, face the mirror. You must experience the pain of the Mantis Shrimp losing their home and family. Say after me—Save the Mantis Shrimp!”
“Save—the—Man—tis—Shrimp!”
“Pee pee shrimps, unite!”
“Unite!”
“Down with the evil humans!”
“Down with the evil—Oh my god, what is that outside the window!!!”
Ye Ruoqing looked to the right. Beneath the billowing curtain, there was a figure dressed in a Qing Dynasty riding jacket, with a black and blue face and a bizarre smile… She pointed at the figure, her fingers trembling.
“Quick… look…”
“Look at what?”
Brother Pidan turned his head, shivered all over, and quickly darted behind Ye Ruoqing to hide: “Oh my god, what is that thing!!!”
The two looked at each other and thought of the holiday that was not far off—Ghost Festival!
“There’s a ghost!!”
The two sprinted back into the room. Just then, the doorbell rang loudly. Ye Ruoqing ran upstairs, asking: “Do ghosts ring doorbells?”
Brother Pidan panted: “How… how would I know… Arrogant! This ghost is too arrogant! It’s not even dark yet!”
“What should we do?”
“Do you have salt?”
“Will it work?”
“Use it first and see!”
The kitchen was downstairs. The two trembled for a long time amidst the ringing of the doorbell, then decided to support each other to go downstairs and get the salt. As soon as they got downstairs, the doorbell turned into a heavy knocking.
“Pi Dali, open the door!”
Ye Ruoqing was stunned: “How does he know your name?”
Pi Dali took out his phone: “How… how would I know! Damn it!”
“What’s wrong?”
Pi Dali’s voice stopped trembling, and his legs weren’t weak anymore. He held his phone and walked aggressively to the door. Ye Ruoqing was confused. She wanted to stop him but dared not step forward.
“Hero!! Come back quickly!”
Pi Dali opened the door and roared: “Director Chen, are you trying to scare Xiao Ye and me to death?”
Director Chen took off his riding jacket and wiped the sweat from his face: “I was visiting a friend’s set this afternoon and took a cameo role. But the water was cut off there, so I couldn’t wash off the makeup on my face and body. I just thought Zhao Xin lived nearby, so I came over to rest a bit and see Zhao Xin and her Xiao Ye. Who knew I’d see you two performing and watched for a while outside the window… Hey, where’s Xiao Ye? Where is Xiao Ye?”
Ye Ruoqing, huddled in the kitchen, heard this and peeked out her head: “Director? Director Chen Si?”
“Yes, it’s me, Xiao Ye.” Director Chen was all smiles. He didn’t care how scary his face looked with the makeup, and he walked over with a big smile, shaking hands warmly with Ye Ruoqing.
“I finally get to meet you!”
Ye Ruoqing couldn’t stand it: “Can you please wash your face first? Looking like that, no matter how you smile, you look especially scary!”
“Is Xiao Ye afraid of ghosts?”
“Afraid to death, okay?”
“That’s perfect. Li Ruyuan is also afraid of ghosts.”
“Who is Li Ruyuan? Is it the Li Ruyuan I’m thinking of?”
Seeing Ye Ruoqing completely fit the image of Li Ruyuan in his mind, Director Chen’s smile was almost splitting his face, but in Ye Ruoqing’s eyes, that supposedly kind smile looked like a bloody maw, and she didn’t want to get near him at all.
“That’s right, it’s the Li Ruyuan you’re thinking of…”
Brother Pidan understood Director Chen’s meaning and looked at him in astonishment. Director Chen nodded at him, then turned and said warmly to Ye Ruoqing: “Xiao Ye, do you want to act?”