He who Protects the Transforming Heroines from The Shadows - Chapter 15 - The Delightful Students of Fuura High

Suddenly, it’s time for a gag episode.

♦

“…Tch, this is bad.”

In his room, Kijou Eito was deep in troubled thought.

It was mid-May, and Fuura High School’s midterm exams were scheduled for the day after tomorrow.

So what was bad, exactly?

Simple: Eito hadn’t studied at all.

As for why he hadn’t studied—well, that too was simple.

First of all, he just couldn’t be bothered. Zero motivation. Absolutely none. In fact, he’d broken through the zero point and was converting negative energy into ice. (This metaphor, by the way, has no particular meaning.)

Secondly, the week before tests always mysteriously made gaming and reading incredibly productive. It was a kind of forbidden pleasure, created at the sacrifice of test preparation.

Surely, dear reader, you’ve experienced this as well. Speaking of, the phrase “dear reader” was once famously used by Edogawa Rampo in the Boy Detectives series.

But that’s gone out of fashion now—why? Because it sounds arrogant.

Anyway, let’s leave the arrogant, slow-updating, trash-tier author out of this and get back to Eito’s train of thought:

How could he avoid failing without studying at all?

He was in his second year, after all. So far, he’d taken five high school exams—first-year midterms and finals for both semesters, and the third term midterm. Back then, as a fresh high schooler, he’d studied seriously enough to pass without issue. But now he knew: in a regular public school like Fuura, as long as you dodged a failing grade, the rest was easy.

That said, even if he had to avoid a failing grade, he still didn’t want to study. For reference, Fuura’s failing threshold was 30 points.

“Guess… I’ve got no choice but to do that…”

There was something he’d always wanted to try at least once in his life. A forbidden student rite of passage. Something you just had to try while you were still in school. But if you got caught, you’d lose everything—and spend summer break in make-up classes.

Yes, cheating.

“Heh… Looks like my time has finally come.”

These days, a protagonist who’s just cool and nothing else is boring. The era now demands a lovable, flawed, and human sort of cool character.

“I hate to admit it… but I’m a man too…!”

He could leave the cool persona to his transformed self. That was Spriggan, he was Kijou Eito.

“All right. Time to make my cheat sheet tomorrow…”

With a nasty little chuckle, Eito’s lips curled into a dark grin.

♦

I’ll also introduce some of the other crazy folks!

At the same time. A second-year male student at Fuuraku High School, referred to here as Student A, was in distress.

“Th-this is bad! The test is the day after tomorrow!?”

Despite the fact that tests were starting in just two days, this student, like some idiot elsewhere, hadn’t studied at all.

“Oh no, oh noo… What am I going to do!?”

This was bad. Very bad. If he failed the test, he’d almost certainly have to attend summer break make-up classes. If that happened, the fun summer vacation trip the guys had planned would be ruined. That was something he absolutely had to avoid.

At that moment, a jolt of inspiration struck Student A.

“That’s it…! I’ll cheat!”

He was an idiot.

But even though it was the kind of idea any sane person would rethink in two seconds, Student A made up his mind to carry it out.

“Alright! Now that it’s decided, I’ll make a cheat sheet after school tomorrow!”

For some reason, with eyes full of hope, Student A clenched his fist tightly.

♦

Once again, at the exact same time—

“““““That’s it! I’ll cheat!”””””

Second-year male students B, C, D, E, and F at Fuuraku High School all arrived at the same idea.

This was the synchronicity of idiots—one of the most pointless miracles in the world.

“““““Now that it’s decided, let’s make cheat sheets tomorrow!”””””

And so, all of them reached the exact same conclusion, delighted that now they could finally get a good night’s sleep.

………I feel really bad for the teachers of Fuuraku High School.

♦

The Next Day After School

Eito had come to the library to make his cheat sheet.

It took some guts to make a cheat sheet in the library, but as they say—if you want to hide a leaf, hide it in the forest.

“Alright… time to get started.”

He’d figure out where to hide the paper later. For now, he needed to actually make the cheat sheet.

“This size should do…”

He cut a page out of a random notebook and trimmed it into a narrow strip about the size of his hand. After putting the scissors back into his pencil case, Eito took out various textbooks and notebooks from his bag.

Starting with the subject for tomorrow’s test, he began writing down important-looking words from the textbooks and notes in the smallest letters possible.

After a while, a new visitor entered the library. From a glance, it was another male student.

The student sat at a desk a little away from Eito and, like him, pulled out textbooks, notes, and handouts from his bag.

(Hmph… Studying all serious-like, huh?)

Scoffing internally, Eito returned to his cheat sheet work. He was different from goody-two-shoes like that guy. He was taking on a once-in-a-lifetime gamble.

The fact that he had sunk to such a mindset was proof enough that he was a hopeless fool, but of course, he remained blissfully unaware. Problems like these often go unnoticed by the person themselves.

One after another, more students from Fūraku High started arriving at the library—likely due to tomorrow’s test. All male, for some reason.

Just like Eito and the earlier student, they began studying for their tests.

Now, including Eito, seven male students were quietly scribbling away at their desks.

(Maybe I’ll take a break…)

Tired of writing, Eito casually glanced around the room. Let’s see how the little straight-laced nerds are doing—said the king of smugness with a side of banana-head narcissism. Honestly, he should be returned for a full refund.

He started by checking out the guy sitting closest to him—some generic-looking male student B. Of course, he didn’t stare; he did it with that subtle sparkle of stealth.

(Hmm? What’s this…)

Student B was writing tiny letters on a small piece of paper—stuffed tight, line after line.

His expression was dead serious.

Eito realized: this B guy (name shortened for convenience) was aiming to do the same thing. That act.

(No way…! So close to me… another brave soul was lurking here…!)

Eito’s face twitched in surprise, and B gave him a sly grin.

(He finally noticed, huh? I knew from the beginning.)

B, who wore glasses, gave them a confident upward push. You know, that gesture every glasses character makes. Why does it always make them look smart? It’s a mystery.

(Comrade, soon you’ll realize… none of us here are studying. We’re all making cheat sheets!!)

(Heh, long-bang-kun’s finally catching on.)

The student who entered right after Eito—Student A—glanced over at him.

(Took you long enough.)

Then came Student C.

(You’re not the only one taking on this heavenly challenge.)

And Student D.

(Us seven are fools. But sometimes, a man must act—no matter how foolish. If we were to fall, might as well kiss the ground!)

The fiery passion of Student E.

(Yes, we are comrades. Just knowing I’m not alone gives me so much courage! Let’s do this, everyone!)

The united heart of Student F.

Their unspoken thoughts reached Eito in silent solidarity.

The six, already aware of each other, now welcomed the awakening of the seventh brave soul.

And Eito, too, finally realized they were all just like him.

(Heh… maybe the world’s not such a bad place after all.)

From the bottom of his heart, he felt elated. It was as if they were the Seven Samurai.

If idiots like them are “samurai,” they’d do better to rediscover the true meaning of bushidō and actually practice it. “Bushidō is found in death.” Go ahead and gut yourselves.

Now united in spirit, the seven idiots silently wished each other success for tomorrow.

(((((((Good luck. Godspeed.)))))))

And so, after confirming their bond, the seven fired up their resolve and continued making their cheat sheets with renewed energy.

…If only they had channeled that energy into actually studying for the test. But no—this is what youth is all about.

…Yeah, absolutely not.

♦

And so, the first day of the dreaded tests arrived. With confident strides, Eito made his way toward the classroom.

“…Perfect. Now then, time to open the doors of the world.”

Murmuring this with a smug look on his face, Eito strode down the hallway like a model on the Paris Collection runway.

Because of the ridiculously pretentious way he walked—paired with the mismatch of his appearance—every student in the hallway turned to look at him with expressions of secondhand embarrassment. Their eyes conveyed a singular thought: bruh.

But the Paris Collection wannabe, completely oblivious to all that, arrived at his classroom and took his seat. With plenty of composure, he pulled out a thermos from his bag and quenched his thirst.

(Hmph, desperate last-minute cramming—what a joke.)

Watching the students around him trying to cram in a few extra lessons, Eito flashed a cool smile (or so he believed).

(No doubt Satori, Asamiya, Tsukishita, and Kounomiya are all actually studying seriously—but not me. I’ll do it my own way, together with the other Heroes!)

He had already finished crafting his cheat sheet. Eito had hidden it inside the sleeve of his shirt. Even by his own assessment, it was flawless.

“Fufufufu…”

He couldn’t help but grin and let out a chuckle. It was understandable—there’s something inherently thrilling about challenging the unknown.

The only unfortunate one was the student sitting in front of Eito. Hearing the weird chuckle from behind, he had to force himself to concentrate on studying while nervously glancing over his shoulder. He silently prayed for a seat change to happen soon.

Ding-dong-dang-dong…

“Alright. Everyone, take your seats.”

With the sound of the door sliding open, a teacher—not their homeroom teacher—entered the room carrying the test papers. Naturally, this was expected. It’s typical for a different teacher to proctor exams.

“We’ll be handing out the tests in five minutes.”

Writing the subject and time on the blackboard, the teacher made the announcement.

At last, the midterm exams at Fuuraku High were about to begin.

One could only hope that the seven idiots wouldn’t all end up having to attend remedial classes over the summer.

♦

(Heh, just as I thought—I don’t understand a thing…)

As the test began, Eito quickly glanced over the questions and smirked. Normally, a smile like that would be reserved for someone thinking “This is easy!”, but Eito, being somewhat mentally unwell, grinned regardless.

(But! I’ve got this!)

Keeping an eye on the teacher’s movements, Eito subtly glanced at the cheat sheet hidden in his shirt sleeve. Then, he began jotting down keywords for questions he thought he might be able to answer.

(Cheating is the best!)

Murmuring an inner monologue that sounded like something out of a warmonger’s playbook, Eito nervously checked the teacher’s location and his surroundings.

(No sign that I’ve been caught yet. I’m in the clear. The problem is…)

Eito began to worry about the other six students who had gathered in the library yesterday. Normally, he didn’t care about others—but this time, he sincerely hoped they would make it through this trial.

Meanwhile, in Student B’s classroom…

“You there, you’re cheating, aren’t you? Step outside.”

A stern voice from a middle-aged male teacher echoed through the room.

“Huh!? M-Me!? That’s slander! On what grounds—”

Flustered, B instinctively pushed up his glasses. Seeing this, the teacher immediately confiscated them.

“W-What are you doing!?”
“I see now. You pasted a piece of paper onto the lens, and to hide it, you affixed a mirrored lens to one side so the text wouldn’t be visible from outside.”
“H-How did you figure that out!?”

B could understand the explanation, since the teacher had likely seen the mechanism. But what baffled him was how the teacher knew he was cheating in the first place. He had thought this method—possible only for someone who wears glasses—was flawless.

“Why? Because I couldn’t see your eyes.”
“………..Huh?”
“With this setup, obviously your eyes wouldn’t be visible from the outside.”
“Y-You’re right…!”

He had completely overlooked that blind spot. B felt like a veil had been lifted from his eyes.

Thinking about it calmly, it should’ve been obvious. But B, caught up in his own smugness, had never realized it.

“Well then, go stand in the hallway. Also, you’ll get a zero on all remaining subjects.”

B, having received his merciless sentence, trudged out into the hallway. The rest of the class buzzed with murmurs, but quickly returned to their tests, realizing they didn’t have time to waste on an idiot.

“Damn… I guess this is it for me. I’m counting on you guys now, fellow Heroes…”

Muttering under his breath with a pained expression, B accepted his fate.

Welp, summer remedial classes were now confirmed. What a pain. He truly regretted it from the bottom of his heart.

With that, the first one was eliminated. The number of cheating comrades dropped to six.

However, shortly after that…

“Hey! You’re cheating, aren’t you!? Out to the hall!”

—Student A, who had attached a cheat sheet to his eraser.

“Cheating is a serious offense. Please step outside.”

—Student C, who had wrapped his cheat sheet around his mechanical pencil as if it were part of the default design.

“Yeah yeah, out you go.”

—Student D, who had tied his cheat sheet to the back of his necktie.

“Honestly, I’m impressed you thought this would go unnoticed…”

—Student E, who had pasted tiny pieces of the cheat sheet to the inside of his hand.

“I didn’t think people still cheated like this nowadays…”

—Student F, who had hidden his cheat sheet inside a pack of tissues.

In the end, every single one of them was caught and, like B, sent to the hallway.

“Damn… that makes six down. The only one left is that bangs guy…”

B muttered as he surveyed the tragic scene.

“Yeah… all our hopes now rest with him…”

A said solemnly, gazing into space with a serious expression.

C, D, E, and F also silently prayed for the safety of the last remaining “Hero.”

Then, all six looked at each other and spoke in unison:

““““““Fellas… let’s meet again in remedial class.””””””

They said it with an air of cool resignation—but deep down, all six of them were tormented with regret:

“I should’ve just studied seriously…”

Serves them right.

♦

“I did it…”

Having somehow finished the test without getting caught, Eito let out a deep breath of relief.

(Too bad the other Heroes got busted… but I won’t let your sacrifices be in vain…)

By the time the first period’s test ended, rumors had already started spreading that the others had been caught cheating. It was unfortunate, but what was done was done.

“Well then, guess I’ll head home…”

Even though it was only the first day of exams, the fact that he made it through without being discovered felt like a big win. He had to get home quickly and start making cheat sheets for tomorrow’s tests.

Just as Eito was about to leave the classroom and head toward the school’s main entrance, a voice called out to him.

“Hey—Kijou. Hold up.”
“…? What is it, Sensei?”

The one calling him in a bored tone was Sakakibara Shiori, the homeroom teacher of Class 2-7, to which Eito belonged.

She was a laid-back and visibly apathetic 27-year-old teacher, well-known among students for her lack of motivation. Eito couldn’t imagine what she wanted with him.

“Yeah, just a quick thing. —You cheated on the test, didn’t you?”
“……H-Huh?”

With a hand lightly resting on his shoulder and in a soft whisper, she said it. Eito’s voice cracked as he feigned ignorance.

“Don’t play dumb. The teacher from the first period today quietly let me know. Man, I’m glad I got some dirt on you.”
“Eh? What did you just—”

He thought he just heard something a teacher really shouldn’t be saying… or maybe he was just imagining it. He hoped he was just imagining it.

“Well, seems like the teachers for periods two and three didn’t catch on, miraculously. Wasn’t it the shirt sleeve, right?”
“H-Hey, wait—!”

Ignoring Eito’s protest, Shiori rolled up his sleeve. There it was—the cheat sheet he hadn’t removed yet, now fully exposed.

“Oh-ho. That’s some solid evidence right there.”
“Ah, um, this is, uh…”

Eito scrambled to come up with an excuse, but before he could say anything, Shiori spoke again—completely flat, devoid of energy.

“Look, I can’t be bothered with any of this. So I won’t make a big deal out of it. Too much trouble.”
“R-Right…”

Was that really okay for a teacher? Eito wasn’t so sure, but if she was willing to let it slide, he wasn’t going to complain.

“So, starting tomorrow, do things properly, alright? And consider this a huge favor. Gotta say, you’re surprisingly bold for someone with that look. Well, thanks to you, I’ve got myself a nice little sucker to use.”

Shiori chuckled lightly and gave Eito a few hearty pats on the back.

“Um, Sensei, I—”

Just as Eito tried to object to being called a “sucker” to his face by his clearly sketchy homeroom teacher—

“You got a problem with that?”
“…N-No, ma’am.”

Faced with her completely unamused stare, Eito instinctively nodded.

“Then we’re good. Go on, get outta here.”

With that, Shiori walked off somewhere.

“…That woman is terrifying.”

Eito trembled slightly, having just witnessed the true fear of adults—or rather, the duality of human nature.

♦

In the end, of the seven idiot cheaters, six were confirmed for summer remedial classes. The remaining one got blackmailed by his homeroom teacher. A bizarre outcome? To say the least. Which fate was worse is hard to say.