Help others? It's better to help yourself - Chapter 52

In the morning, drinking the fragrant soybean milk paired with crispy fried dough sticks was simply delicious. The two little ones drank without lifting their heads, and Xu Jing’an’s eyes were even squinting from enjoyment.

Xu Jing’an was pregnant again. For a while, she had a poor appetite and couldn’t eat much. Recently, though, she had developed an intense craving for soybean milk and had been drinking it for five days straight.

Soybean milk was a local specialty in the city. It wasn’t made from soybeans but from millet flour.

The origin of soybean milk is said to be linked to the figures of Bo Yi and Shu Qi from the Shang Dynasty. According to ‘Records of the Grand Historian: Biographies of Bo Yi and Shu Qi’, it’s written: “After King Wu quelled the chaos of the Shang Dynasty and unified the world under the Zhou, Bo Yi and Shu Qi felt ashamed of it. They refused to eat the grain of the Zhou and hid in Mount Shouyang, living on wild vegetables.”

Millet was ground into flour, and during cooking, soybeans, peanuts, broken noodles, and sometimes seaweed or tofu (depending on available resources) were added. Just before serving, chopped spinach was thrown in. When it was served in a bowl, sesame salt was sprinkled on top, making it truly fragrant!

This was the only food that Xu Jing’an could eat without feeling nauseous. Now, the whole family was trying to save the millet flour for her and the two children.

It had been over five months since she last sent a letter to her parents. Xu Jing’an took out a sheet of carbon paper, placed it underneath the letter she was writing, and began to write a letter to her father and mother.

The whole steel factory only had one copier, so when individuals needed copies, they had to use carbon paper.

Carbon paper was a type of duplicating paper made by mixing wax and coloring agents with thin, durable paper.

By placing it under a piece of paper, whatever you wrote would be imprinted onto the next page. To write on it, you had to use a ballpoint pen or pencil, and pressing hard could make the writing go through three or four sheets of paper. The writing on the last page would still be clearly legible. But if you weren’t careful, you’d end up with blue ink all over your hands, which was very hard to wash off.

She kept the copies, ensuring that her parents couldn’t later accuse her of being unfilial. Before she married, she would send a letter every month, always filled with polite words and complaints about being poor, and it was always the same. After marriage, she began sending a letter every six months, so no one could say she didn’t care for her parents or wasn’t filial.

After all, “All evil originates from lust; actions are judged, not hearts,” and “Among all virtues, filial piety is the highest; hearts are judged, not actions.”

At the end of August, Xu Jing’an gave birth to another boy, named Shen Can, with the nickname “Mao Mao.” As with the first child, his nickname was chosen by the two older children after discussing it.

In September 1975, Zhuang Zhuang started first grade in elementary school. Mao Mao, now two years old, had begun running around everywhere.

Shen’s mother stayed home to care for both Dou Dou and Mao Mao. The older sister “Dou Dou” and younger brother “Mao Mao” would draw together: a green sun, a red house, and a sky full of colorful patterns. The two siblings held crayons and colored their drawings with their favorite colors.

When they came home, the two children proudly held their drawings up for Grandpa, Dad, and Mom to see. Xu Jing’an kissed each of the three children and said, “Great job! Zhuang Zhuang started school today—study hard. Mao Mao and Dou Dou stayed home and drew pictures without causing any trouble. The drawings are wonderful. A special commendation for these three little comrades!”

The whole family clapped and cheered for the children. The three kids were particularly excited, puffing out their little chests, feeling proud.

In mid-December, Shen’s mother called out, “Old Shen, the eldest has written!”

“What does it say?” Shen’s father asked, concerned.

Shen’s mother couldn’t hide the smile on her face as she spoke, “The eldest’s wife is pregnant!”

“That’s wonderful!” Shen’s father responded excitedly. After all these years, the eldest son had finally turned things around, and now he was going to have a child of his own.

Shen Yue, who had been in the military and away from home, was often on their minds. His parents knew well what kind of temperament he had.

Shen Yue was strong-willed, and once he set his sights on a goal, he wouldn’t easily give up. When he was in first grade, he declared he wanted to join the military when he grew up. He was a good student and exercised daily by running, and after many years, how many people could stick to that?

In the end, the eldest son worked hard and got into a military academy, becoming a soldier. He had grown up surrounded by praise, and whenever people mentioned Shen Yue, they always gave him a thumbs-up!

Such a proud person, being forced into this marriage. The wife that her son reluctantly accepted is someone who calculates too much. How could she not worry? It’s obvious that their personalities don’t match. Isn’t her son just going to regret it for the rest of his life?

She never pressured her son to get married just because she was his mother. It was because she pitied him! Being a soldier is a dangerous profession. She just wanted her son to marry a woman he liked, to live a peaceful life. She never thought there was anything wrong with that.

Sure enough, this is the first time in five years that the eldest son’s wife is mentioned in a letter. No matter what, the fact that her eldest son was going to have a child was something to be happy about.

After dinner, the family discussed that after the New Year, when the weather warmed up, Shen’s mother would go to Shen Yue’s place. She would take care of him after the birth and then return afterward.

…

Gu Panpan, touching her barely noticeable belly, finally felt at ease. Over the past four years, nearly five, she had sent a letter every seven days and a package every half month.

She made meat sauce, stir-fried pork cracklings with pickled vegetables, pickled cabbage, wild fruits with white sugar to make jam, frozen dumplings in winter packed in wooden boxes, wild chickens and rabbits turned into cured meats, big fish from the river made into crispy fish, small fish made into spicy dried fish, steamed buns made into dry buns, and in summer, she made big trousers. She even used the leftover fabric to make new shoes and insoles…

She could say that every month’s 5 yuan and the little grains she earned from working the fields, everything she found in the mountains, she never ate any of it herself. She sent it all to Shen Yue.

In almost five years, she gritted her teeth and held on. In the beginning, people in the village made fun of her, gossiping about her. But in the end, most of them started to sympathize with her.

Over the years, Gu Panpan became well-known in the army. Shen Yue’s superiors and those around him knew that she was forced into the marriage. At first, they sympathized with Shen Yue for not wanting her. But now, who doesn’t envy Shen Yue’s wife, who thought of him and sent letters and packages so often?

Whether it was her efforts that finally won Shen Yue’s heart, or the fact that after all these years, he was getting older and wanted a child, or if he was pressured by public opinion to bring her over and give an explanation, in any case, what Gu Panpan wanted was accomplished. She had finally left the countryside, and it happened earlier than in her previous life.

As long as she doesn’t make any mistakes, Shen Yue won’t be able to get rid of her! The good life is hers, and no one can take it from her.

Including the child in her belly, it was also something she had carefully calculated. Who would believe it? After all this time, Shen Yue had never even touched her!

In her previous life, at least Shen Yue had married her, but this time, after the scheme with Shen Yue’s mother and some wrong words, Shen Yue stopped touching her.

When they went back together to register their marriage and held the wedding in the village, he left that same night.

It seemed that after Shen Yue’s mother arrived, she would have to be even more filial! She needed to say more sweet words, keep her eyes sharper (meaning she needed to be more observant and perceptive, understanding the situation), and build a reputation as a filial and polite daughter-in-law!

Moreover, Shen Yue’s mother was coming to take care of her and the child. The second son’s children had already grown up, so she had to take advantage of her mother-in-law’s presence to have more children, or else she would be overwhelmed trying to take care of them alone. It was just too tiring!