How Can You Drive A Male Ghost Crazy? - Chapter 2
Chapter 2
“Sir, I feel I must warn you first: I cannot guarantee the success rate of soul-summoning. Secondly, the soul that returns may no longer recognize you. Though you may be unwilling to admit it, this is essentially a ghost. Do you understand what I mean?”
Lou Xu listened patiently to the master’s lecture, then opened his mouth with unwavering conviction: “Master, what day do you think would be suitable?”
Well, he listened to all my advice, but he won’t be taking any of it.
“Today is the eighth day of the seventh lunar month. The Ghost Festival (Zhongyuan Festival) is on the fifteenth, and the Yin energy will be at its peak then. I can travel to Haicheng on the fourteenth. Does this arrangement work for you?”
“I’ll defer to your arrangements. Travel expenses will be reimbursed.”
With the date set, Lou Xu had to get busy. He didn’t want to be distracted by other trivial matters when he was finally reunited with He Qing.
Company matters didn’t bother him, but family affairs were the hardest to manage.
He had already turned down the He family many times; if he didn’t go now, he wouldn’t find any more excuses.
After work, Lou Xu drove to the He residence. He hadn’t gone much when He Qing was alive; only after they married did He Qing’s relationship with his family somewhat ease.
By the time he arrived at the He residence, the sky had begun to darken. The lights in the small front garden were on, and the main gate stood wide open, welcoming Lou Xu.
The meal was set in the small side hall. Upon entering, Lou Xu first went to the main hall to pay respects at He Qing’s spirit tablet.
The person in the black-and-white photo smiled beautifully. Lou Xu took out three incense sticks, lit them, and placed them in the censer.
When he returned to the side hall, everyone was already seated, waiting for him. This was the first time they had gathered around the table since He Qing’s death.
Mrs. He’s eyes were still swollen. Lou Xu glanced at them and stated the purpose of his visit: “Mom, I want to bring Qing Qing’s spirit tablet home.”
The woman at the head of the table looked at Lou Xu, then quickly glanced at the man next to her, before finally speaking: “What’s wrong? Qing Qing’s spirit tablet is fine here. Why the sudden decision to take it back?”
Lou Xu naturally helped himself to food and ate, speaking as casually as if discussing daily life: “It’s more convenient for me to see him when I miss him. With incense offered four times a day, I can’t let him suffer down below.”
Lou Xu was the only one at the table eating, as if he had truly only come for a meal.
Mrs. He just started to say, “Keeping it here is also…”
Lou Xu didn’t want to hear her excuses: “Mom, this meat is too tough. If the family chef isn’t good, replace them.”
Lou Xu ignored Mrs. He, who was about to explain, and, taking a mouthful of rice, he informed her: “I will bring Qing Qing home on Saturday. You don’t need to prepare anything; I will handle everything.”
“Wait,” Lou Xu said, taking a sip of soup, suddenly remembering something. “I will need a little help from my brother-in-law then.”
The man next to Mrs. He was suddenly mentioned and looked at Lou Xu with some apprehension: “What is it?”
“I need you to help me carry Qing Qing’s spirit tablet. It won’t take long.”
“Okay…”
Relocating a spirit tablet is not as simple as moving house on any random day; a good date must be chosen beforehand.
Lou Xu had clearly arranged everything and was merely notifying them today.
Mrs. He somewhat regretted being so ‘merciful’ in pushing for his discharge from the hospital. Today, he was aggressive, completely contrary to his usual attitude.
Perhaps He Qing told him something. The woman felt a pang of guilt but quickly regained her confidence.
After He Qing came of age, she treated him well. Especially after they married, she treated Lou Xu like her own son. On grounds of sentimentality, no one could fault her.
Legally, she was the first heir to He Qing’s estate, just like Lou Xu.
The surface relationship still needed to be maintained. It was just a spirit tablet relocation, no big deal. Instead of displeasing Lou Xu, it was better to placate him and negotiate to have him concede his half of the property.
Mrs. He finally found an opening to intervene and mediate: “We kept Qing Qing’s tablet here for fear that seeing it would sadden you. Since you want to bring him home, then bring him. He Sheng isn’t busy, he can go with you.”
“I’ll see you Saturday then.” Lou Xu stood up. The butler in the outer hall presented him with his suit jacket. Passing by the main hall, the incense on the altar had burned out, and white smoke filled the room.
Walking out of the He residence, Lou Xu glanced back at the house. The lights in the rooms on both sides were strangely eerie. The entire building looked like a paper house burned as an offering for the dead.
The people inside were like paper figures too—even if a fire burned them down, they wouldn’t scream, their faces locked in the same expression: hypocritical and disgusting.
On the day of the relocation, the entire He family was home waiting for Lou Xu. Lou Xu said little, simply following the ritual and having He Sheng carry the tablet to his house.
At the entrance, Lou Xu scattered a handful of rice.
He Sheng lifted his foot to step inside but was stopped by Lou Xu’s outstretched hand: “Don’t touch the threshold.”
He Sheng looked down at the floor, stepped over the threshold, and walked in. The altar was already set with a censer, candle holders, and offerings. It was clearly prepared with care.
The tablet and portrait in his arms were wrapped in red cloth. He Sheng uncovered the red cloth and carefully set the portrait and tablet upright.
Lou Xu took the incense from the altar and lit the first sticks to welcome He Qing home. As he placed the incense into the censer, Lou Xu warned He Sheng: “Don’t make any moves before Qing Qing’s hundredth day. You will receive what you are owed.”
He Sheng, his pretense exposed, felt embarrassed: “Brother, what are you talking about?”
“If you treat He Qing with respect, I might happily concede my share [of the inheritance]. Don’t play dumb with me; you know what I’m talking about.”
He Sheng was not as cunning as his mother. He couldn’t string together a proper response to Lou Xu, so he decided it was better to stay silent.
Lou Xu stepped aside after offering the incense: “Bow to your brother.”
He Sheng complied, but as he raised his head, he dared not look at He Qing’s portrait. Lou Xu noticed this guilty hesitation.
This useless man would definitely tell his mother what Lou Xu said today, which was exactly what Lou Xu wanted.
From that day on, the He family’s calls became less frequent.
On the fourteenth day of the seventh lunar month, Lou Xu cleared his schedule and went to the Haicheng station to pick up the geomancer, who Lou Xu had determined to be the most reliable after several inquiries.
The exit was crowded. Lou Xu stood with his arms crossed in the plaza outside the exit. After a moment, he saw a man with a backpack walking towards him.
The man studied Lou Xu for a few seconds: “Lou Xu?”
“Yes.”
The man pulled a crumpled pack of cigarettes from his pocket, put one in his mouth, and offered another to Lou Xu.
Lou Xu refused: “Thank you, I don’t smoke.”
The cigarette wasn’t returned to the pack; the man tucked it behind his ear. He pulled out a lighter and lit the cigarette in his mouth.
“Hah…” The man exhaled a plume of smoke and got down to business: “Where should we have lunch?”
Lou Xu didn’t hesitate: “You decide.”
The car drove away from the station square toward the city center, finally stopping in a small alley. The man randomly chose a noodle shop and found a window seat.
They ordered two bowls of noodles and a few small side dishes.
The man chatted with Lou Xu while slurping his noodles: “I’ve seen you before.”
Lou Xu took out disposable chopsticks and stirred his noodles: “Really? Why don’t I recall?”
“It’s normal that you don’t recall; you didn’t see me.”
The man picked up a piece of smashed cucumber and then pointed his chopsticks at the ring on Lou Xu’s ring finger: “Does your ring have a length of red thread inside it?”
Lou Xu gently turned the ring on his finger: “Yes.”
“Then that’s right. A few years ago, you and your lover went traveling, and did you meet an old gentleman who offered to read your fortune? That was my master. After the reading, he gave you two pieces of red thread.”
The man was right; that was exactly how the red thread was acquired. He Qing’s ring had been buried with him.
Lou Xu put down his chopsticks and answered seriously: “Yes.”
The man quickly finished the noodles in his bowl. Lou Xu offered to order him another, but the man waved him off. He pulled out a tissue, wiped his mouth, and continued: “My master foresaw this day. I am here today to resolve this karmic consequence.”
“Consider me a friend helping out. One meal is enough. I will help you summon the soul. After that, no matter what happens, don’t contact me. Agreed?”
These words carried a heavy implication. The man was so eager to distance himself that Lou Xu knew it meant trouble.
“What will happen? Will my lover return?”
The man looked deeply at Lou Xu, feeling that he had come at the right time: “He will return, but your obsession is too deep. I only offer you one piece of advice: Vexations, delusions, sorrows, and suffering of mind and body. This leads to defilement, drifting in the cycle of life and death.”
Lou Xu asked no further. He was long past fearing right and wrong, cause and effect, or retribution.
He only wished for his lover to return to his side.
On the night of the fifteenth, the man began preparations at ten o’clock. The ritual was scheduled to start at eleven.
The man asked Lou Xu for a photo of He Qing taken when he was alive and wrote He Qing’s Bazi (Eight Characters) on yellow paper. He used his bare hand to dip water and draw a Tai Chi diagram on the floor, then placed white candles at the positions of the Yin and Yang ‘fish’.
He erected a small wooden tablet in the north of the Tai Chi diagram, also inscribed with He Qing’s Bazi. Finally, he sprinkled a circle of salt around the altar.
Three minutes before the ceremony, the man lit the candles, then walked around the salt circle clockwise three times with a peach wood sword: “By this boundary, I separate Yin and Yang. Evil spirits shall not intrude. Protect my body.”
Exactly at eleven o’clock, the ritual began.
He Qing’s photo was placed on top of the yellow talisman. The man took the silver knife from the bowl, pricked his fingertip, and drew bl00d onto the yellow talisman. His eyes fixed on the candles: “With bl00d as the guide, with sincerity as the bridge, hear my summons, appear here! Return! Return! Return!”
The paper money in the basin burned fiercely. Suddenly, the flames in the fire basin and the candle flames shot up high, flickering wildly, their shadows on the wall resembling ghostly figures.
All the windows in the study room instantly shattered. All sorts of noises came from the surroundings.
There were sighs, laughter, and mournful cries.
The flames of the two candles were almost extinguished. The man dabbed some water from the bowl onto his fingers and sprinkled a little onto the candles, which surprisingly stabilized the flames slightly.
The temperature in the room plummeted, accompanied by a smell of mildew.
Sweat beaded on the man’s forehead. His eyes remained fixed on the flames: “He’s here.”
The yellow talisman on the ground began to tremble, and a black handprint appeared on the photo.
Lou Xu picked up the Guo Yin mirror (spirit-viewing mirror) on the floor, attempting to locate He Qing. When the mirror was held up,
It revealed only a terrifying female ghost. Her eyeballs were dripping bl00d, dangling outside her eye sockets, connected only by a few sinews of flesh. Yet, they were darting around. Realizing Lou Xu was looking at her, she abruptly lunged toward him, only to be blocked by the salt circle.
She laughed hoarsely, raising her hand to press one eyeball back into its socket, then plucked out the other eyeball and put it in her mouth to chew, bright red bl00d dripping down her chin.
Lou Xu had no time for her antics, moving the mirror to other areas, but He Qing was nowhere to be seen.
Lou Xu became anxious: “Why? Didn’t you say he came? Where is he!”
The yellow talisman in front of him had stopped trembling. The man wiped off some sweat: “He did come, but he doesn’t want to see you right now.”
“Impossible! He doesn’t want to see me? Why wouldn’t he want to see me? Is he resentful of me? Resentful that I took so long to find him?” Lou Xu could no longer control his emotions, and blue veins bulged on his forehead. “No! He wouldn’t refuse to see me! I am his husband! His only lover!”
“Calm down! I told you, he is a ghost! He might not recognize you anymore. How would a ghost know you are his husband?”
This sentence seemed to trigger something in Lou Xu, and he actually quieted down.
He mumbled: “So he doesn’t recognize me. It’s okay. It’s okay. We have time to get acquainted…”
Lunatic. This was the only thought in the man’s mind. Lunatic.
The ritual ended. The man quickly extinguished the candles, then broke the salt circle open, and the two walked out.
Stepping out of the salt circle, Lou Xu felt the Yin energy for the first time. It was like walking into an ice cave. It wasn’t fear; the hairs on his body rose involuntarily.
The Ghost Festival truly had the strongest Yin energy. Not only He Qing was summoned, but many wandering spirits also gathered here as if they had found a home.
“I will help you exorcise the spirits tomorrow. There are too many ghosts here, and the Yin energy is too heavy. It might be comfortable for the ghosts to live in, but a living person cannot endure it.”
Lou Xu rejected his kindness: “No, didn’t you say not to contact you for other matters after you summoned the soul for me? This is enough. I will hire others for the exorcism. Thank you for today.”
The man looked at Lou Xu with doubt but ultimately left. After all, none of these ghosts were malevolent spirits, nor would they intentionally harm people; at most, they would just frighten Lou Xu.
Moreover, Lou Xu said he would find someone else. He didn’t believe a person would willingly live with a house full of ghosts.
But he forgot that Lou Xu was crazier than the ghosts. The man’s one sentence successfully made Lou Xu abandon the idea of exorcism.
Yin energy makes it comfortable for the ghosts to live. In that case, he might as well let these minor ghosts stay for now. It wouldn’t be too late to drive them away when He Qing truly returned.
After seeing the man off, Lou Xu returned to the second-floor study. With the windows shattered, the cold wind rushed in. The Guo Yin mirror left by the man reflected Lou Xu surrounded by ghosts of various forms crowding around him.
Lou Xu stood in the middle, unmoved: “The bedroom on the second floor is forbidden. The rest is at your leisure.”