I Became the Female Lead’s Current Obsession - Chapter 35

Hou Xue was wiping the blackboard. It was the time of day when the sun shone its fiercest.

The building was nearly deserted. She had cleaned the board twice.

And yet, for some reason, it still felt like something was missing.

She glanced at the door, then again toward the corner visible from the window.

Hou Xue closed her eyes, shaking off the strange associations her mind was making.

After leaving campus, she stopped by a small family-style restaurant and casually ordered two dishes before squeezing onto a crowded bus back to the Jiang household.

In truth, Hou Xue had wanted to return to the Jiang house ever since earlier that day. The feeling was almost urgent, though she couldn’t explain why. She had tried to suppress the impulse multiple times, but

failed. Once she finished eating, she headed back.

She had no emotional attachment to the Jiang household—or to the people in it.

So, what was she hoping to see?

The more she thought about it, the more wrong it felt. Somewhere deep in her mind, it was as if a fragment of memory had gone missing. But logically, her memories were intact—there was no indication anything was off.

Roses swayed gently in the breeze as Hou Xue walked into the building.

As usual, no one paid her any mind. She was content to remain invisible.

That is, until she ran into her stepsister—the one who couldn’t stand her.

Her stepsister glanced at her once before quickly looking away. They brushed shoulders as they passed.

Hou Xue froze for a second, instinctively reaching out to her stepsister—but caught herself just in time and lowered her hand.

Her stepsister didn’t notice anything unusual and continued upstairs without looking back.

For that brief moment, Hou Xue realized she had wanted to grab her stepsister’s wrist.

The thought left her dazed. She stared at her palm, as if something was trying to surface. But at the critical moment, those emotions were forcibly suppressed—pushed down by some invisible force.

It felt like a rule. A rigid, external rule that existed solely to police her behavior.

Forget it. It doesn’t matter.

Hou Xue lowered her eyes. By the time she looked up again, the strange emotion that had stirred her just moments ago was already forgotten.

She was naturally indifferent. Unmoved by anything or anyone.

That was the kind of person Hou Xue was meant to be.

Any emotion too intense or too out-of-line didn’t suit her. It had no place in her.

That was… the setting.

—

Hou Xue looked up from her seat.

Her stepsister had been called outside.

She hesitated for a few seconds, then quietly slipped out the back door.

Her stepsister was smiling radiantly at a tall boy.

Hou Xue frowned. That smile felt wrong. It made her feel… unfamiliar.

She watched for a bit longer, then turned back and returned to her seat.

Irritated—but without knowing why.

—

“Sorry, I’m not interested,” Hou Xue said, anxiety flickering in her chest. Not because of the situation in front of her, but because that overwhelming, restless feeling was returning.

Her eyes were fixed on the alley entrance.

Someone would appear there.

But who? She was desperate to see their face. This past week, whoever it was had been haunting her thoughts, stirring up every trace of doubt and paranoia.

“This isn’t up to you.”

Hou Xue barely heard what the person blocking her way said. Her entire focus was locked on the alley.

That person would come against the light, reach for her hand, and pull her forward—out of the murky fog.

Her heart pounded violently, declaring that this person mattered more than anything.

But when the figure at the alley came into view, her expression dimmed once again.

Just like before, a forced calm washed over her. As if she’d grown used to disappointment. Her emotions, too, were neatly folded and stored away.

“What the hell are you doing? Nobody move! Anyone who runs is a damn coward!” Luo Qi shouted, dressed in casual clothes, looking like she had just come back from a shopping trip.

Hou Xue’s face turned even colder. She felt like she might never get close to the truth—as if it would always slip just out of reach.

If it wasn’t Luo Qi, then who could it be?

—

“Miss, excuse me, but which one do you want exactly?” the store clerk asked, snapping Hou Xue out of her thoughts.

She pointed vaguely. “Ten grams of each dark chocolate.”

The clerk blinked in surprise. “Are you sure?”

“Yes,” Hou Xue replied firmly.

Though she looked like a student, the clerk still packed everything carefully. After all, every customer deserved respect—this was something drilled into her during training.

“That’ll be 2,137 yuan,” the clerk said hesitantly after weighing everything. The girl was clearly young and plainly dressed—nothing about her said “wealthy.” Their shop was a luxury chocolate brand. She honestly didn’t think this was a price a student could handle.

But the girl simply handed her a card. “Swipe it.”

The clerk blinked again but kept quiet. With practiced efficiency, she ran the card, bagged the chocolates, and handed them over with a smile.

“Thank you for your patronage. We look forward to your next visit.”

After leaving the shop, Hou Xue unwrapped a piece of dark chocolate and popped it into her mouth.

Not her preferred taste.

Bitter. With only the faintest trace of sweetness.

But it was her favorite. She used to eat this in secret and had only let Hou Xue try it once.

Hou Xue tried another kind, slipping it into her mouth.

She couldn’t recall the flavor, but she was certain that once she tasted the right one, everything would come flooding back.

She opened her game on her phone, harvesting a wave of snowflakes.

It was the same reason she had downloaded her debut game.

The game was starting to feel a bit bland.

Maybe… a lottery feature?

The thought came to her out of nowhere.

—

Hou Xue no longer lost her composure because of her stepsister. But when she saw her from behind, she still saw that person who no longer existed.

She knew her stepsister wasn’t her. Maybe the resemblance was just in the face or the build. But the two were completely different people.

Her stepsister liked Nie Rui. She smiled brightly at others. She hated Hou Xue. She was sharp-tongued and petty.

But she wasn’t like that.

She didn’t like anyone. But she was always gentle with Hou Xue. Always did things that led to misunderstandings—but always from a place of wanting what was best for her.

Hou Xue sat by the floor-to-ceiling window, gazing at the quiet city, nibbling on another piece of dark chocolate.

Still bitter.

Who are you? Where are you?

Confusion surfaced in her eyes but was swiftly corrected, replaced by calm detachment. Nothing in the world could shake her now.

“I’ll remember you,” Hou Xue said, voice trembling—but her face was lifeless, as if her burning soul was trapped inside a numb shell. “I’ll find you.”

—

As promised, Hou Xue only scored average on the exams.

Her stepsister came first as usual, and Xu Miao came third.

Normally, she never bothered to look at the grade sheets Yang Rui passed around. But this time, she paid close attention to the student who placed second in class and 20th in the grade.

Because that was her.

But now, the sheet listed someone named “Li Li.”

And Hou Xue was 20th.

She stared at those lines for a long time before the corners of her lips curved up.

“A flaw.”

They must’ve patched over a small gap and missed a detail—filling in a blank with a fake name.

“Li Li” sounded fake. There was no one by that name in Hou Xue’s memory. Yet no one else questioned it.

A “bug”—not large, not small, but just enough.

—

The holiday began.

The Jiang family’s second daughter and young master supposedly went to a resort. Naturally, Hou Xue wasn’t invited. She stayed behind.

No one cared what she did, except for Cao Fenlan, who came back once during the break.

Said it was to see Hou Xue—but really, she was just picking up a forgotten document. Running into Hou Xue was incidental.

The maids whispered behind closed doors, but Hou Xue didn’t care. She and Cao Fenlan kept up the facade of mother and daughter, each minding their own business.

On the seventh day of the break, Hou Xue rented an electric scooter and rode it to a riverbank far from the Jiang house.

She had never been there before. But some things couldn’t be explained—maybe her brain had recorded this route long ago by accident.

Passing by a shop, she bought a bunch of fireworks and sparklers.

Standing on the platform, she lit the fireworks for herself.

They were vivid, yet blurry—like a beautiful, unreal dream.

“Do you like it?” she lit a sparkler, held it, and answered herself: “Yes. I love it.”

Her eyelids trembled. She wanted to cry, but her emotions were severed too quickly. Not even a sound escaped before she was forcibly calmed again.

But this time, it was slightly different.

Expressionless, she touched her chin.

Her fingertips were wet.

A single tear had escaped—just before the calm set in. As if determined to prove that this feeling was real, that it wasn’t a delusion or hysteria.

Hou Xue’s lips twitched awkwardly.

She was still under the influence of the calm. Any emotional fluctuation was difficult for her.

The night fell silent once more.

But Hou Xue was overjoyed—like a child.

Did you see?

She could still feel joy. And it was hers alone, not controlled or regulated by anyone.

—

Hou Xue’s teeth had been itching.

At first, she thought it was just a craving. She asked Luo Qi for a chocolate bar, but it didn’t help.

Then, in the middle of the night, the itch vanished.

She didn’t understand why and didn’t dwell on it.

But the next morning, the itch came back. That’s when she realized—this was probably something else she had “forgotten.”

She considered a bunch of things she might have bitten in the past. None worked. It all just made her feel silly.

Eventually, by accident, she cut her finger. On impulse, she bit it.

The itch stopped immediately.

Hou Xue: “……”

She suddenly felt like she didn’t know herself at all. So, she had that kind of… unique interest?

Then she thought about seeing her again.

She’d probably go insane. Might even want to destroy her.

Someone you longed for but could never have—destroying them and keeping the remains might feel like the best solution.

She would never be able to leave that way.

The familiar forced calm washed over Hou Xue again.

This time, she was glad for it. At least it stopped her thoughts.

With unusual seriousness, Hou Xue thought for a long time.

She realized she preferred the living over the dead.

Biting was her boundary. No matter what, she could never cross that line.

—

Zhu Yao’s eyes were crazed.

At least, that’s what Hou Xue thought.

Her stepsister’s eyes, by contrast, were calm—but full of disdain and amusement.

Zhu Yao’s hostility had always been inexplicable.

Hou Xue looked up at the sky.

So what? It was just a stab wound to the hand.

Not that painful.

But she felt tired.

Just before she closed her eyes, who had she seen?

She couldn’t remember.

—

“Why can’t you ever protect yourself? This is the second time.”

A woman’s voice echoed beside her.

“…I know it’s my fault. I should’ve protected you. I didn’t keep my promise…”

Hou Xue frowned.

She couldn’t open her eyes. Her head was foggy, like she’d slept too long and her brain was rusted—lagging behind.

“Hou Xue,” the voice said again, “it hurts. So much…”

Pain? Why—

Hou Xue felt the spot on her right hand where she’d been stabbed—it barely hurt.

In fact, despite her body feeling like it had been torn apart, there was surprisingly little pain.

No pain at all.

“I didn’t think it would hurt this much,” a woman’s voice murmured nearby. “This is… more than I expected. Just give me a little time—let me figure out what’s going on, and then…”

The voice trailed off.

Three seconds of silence passed.

Then the voice returned, trembling faintly. “Hou Xue… you’re awake? Are you awake?”

Hou Xue slowly opened her eyes.

The woman leaning close, whispering at her bedside, came into focus.

She was pressing the call button for the doctor.

The sharp scent of disinfectant hit her nose.

This was a hospital.