I Deduce the Female Lead Likes Me [Transmigration into a book] - Chapter 28: Corpse Driving
The weekend arrived, and the two girls genuinely decided to cook for Zheng Fenglin because he had inadvertently complained about takeout in their three-person WeChat group, saying it was too greasy and probably full of gutter oil.
Kou Shuang was quick to respond, asking: [How about we cook for you, and you just pay for the groceries?]
Zheng Fenglin didn’t stand on ceremony and replied with a cheerful voice message: “That’s great! I’ve never eaten a home-cooked meal before!”
Kou Shuang noticed the phrase “home-cooked meal” and, thinking of Zheng Fenglin’s background, quietly sighed.
The police station had recently built several new dormitories, mostly allocated to young bachelors like Zheng Fenglin who hadn’t started families. The conditions were decent, with complete appliances, and even a kitchen that was surprisingly well-stocked with various bottles and jars, likely all bought by Zheng Fenglin.
Halfway through cooking, Zheng Fenglin called, asking somewhat hesitantly: “Did you buy enough food? I might bring someone…”
“A colleague? There’s enough. We were even planning to cook a few dishes for you before we leave, so you can heat them up and eat them tomorrow,” Kou Shuang replied.
Zheng Fenglin’s tone was a bit hesitant. He said: “Not a colleague… You’ll know when we get there. It’s really too much trouble for you to cook for me, especially with my promotion.”
“Not at all,” Kou Shuang said, smiling as she hung up the phone.
When all the dishes were finally ready, Zheng Fenglin appeared with a young man.
Zheng Fenglin introduced him to Song Muxue and Kou Shuang: “This is Xiao Huzi; he’s here to freeload a meal.”
Kou Shuang looked at Xiao Huzi, finding him to be a man in his early twenties with a somewhat shifty, unsettling demeanor. His most striking feature was a thick, jet-black little mustache, living up to his nickname.
“Hello,” Kou Shuang smiled.
Xiao Huzi rubbed his palms and said: “Hello, sister-in-law! Bro, you’ve got good fortune!”
Zheng Fenglin quickly waved his hand and said: “Don’t talk nonsense!”
Xiao Huzi smiled and said: “You can tell by my looks that I’m not a good person. Little sister, don’t get too close to me; it’s good to be a little wary.”
He inexplicably added this remark, but quickly changed his form of address.
Zheng Fenglin frowned, patted Xiao Huzi’s back, and said: “Find a decent profession, earn money honestly, and wash off all that glibness of yours. You’ll look like a good person then. Don’t go around stealing and swindling on the streets all day, extorting money, faking accidents. You’re practically treating the police station as your home.”
Kou Shuang’s gaze swept between the two, quickly understanding Xiao Huzi’s social status. He was someone Zheng Fenglin brought back, and someone Zheng Fenglin wanted Song Muxue to meet, so he must not be bad in nature. Perhaps he had just gone astray, and Zheng Fenglin wanted to help him.
Xiao Huzi said: “There’s no help for it; I look too bad; no decent job wants me! I gave up my seat on the bus, and the old lady thought I was trying to extort money. What can I do! I used to be able to go out and pretend to be a beggar, but I can’t do that anymore! That was probably the most self-reliant way.”
Zheng Fenglin frowned and said: “There are many good paths. I know an internet cafe that needs a netizen manager. You’ll have to stay up late, but food and accommodation are provided. Pack up tomorrow and go to work.”
Xiao Huzi smiled. This time, he looked much more docile and said: “Okay, brother, I’ll definitely go wherever you introduce me. But I have one request: can I not stay there? I have an intellectually disabled brother who only recognizes the way home, as you know.”
Song Muxue walked out of the kitchen at this moment, wearing an apron and with her sleeves rolled up, looking very domestic. She didn’t speak.
Xiao Huzi smiled and greeted: “Hello, beautiful sister.”
Song Muxue nodded, coolly saying: “Hello.”
Kou Shuang explained to Xiao Huzi: “She’s just like that; her face looks expressionless.”
Xiao Huzi smiled and said: “Her ignoring me is normal; I’m used to it. Little sister, you should also be wary of me.”
Xiao Huzi had just mentioned pretending to be a beggar on the streets. Kou Shuang was a little curious and asked: “How much can you earn begging in a day? Why can’t you do it anymore?”
Xiao Huzi explained: “If you’re lucky, several thousand! But that was a year or two ago. Now, there’s a group of children stealing business. They’re trained; ordinary adults can’t compete with them at all.”
“Several thousand? That much?” Kou Shuang was a little dumbfounded. “A child begging gang? Doesn’t anyone do anything about it?”
“They haven’t been seen much lately,” Xiao Huzi recalled, “Maybe Brother’s colleagues are effective.”
Kou Shuang looked at Zheng Fenglin, and saw Zheng Fenglin waving his hands in distress: “Isn’t there that so-called graffiti festival recently? A superficial project. The higher-ups instructed urban management and the police to cooperate in taking in homeless people and beggars, sending them to other cities for a few months. We’ve been busy with this lately. This kid always causes trouble for me, getting caught and lectured, caught and lectured, but he never changes. He’s caused so much trouble. This time, he got caught again and played the victim, saying he hadn’t eaten enough for days, so I…”
Xiao Huzi smiled and said: “Brother is soft-hearted; he’s a good policeman.”
“You should learn to be good too,” Zheng Fenglin sighed and said: “If your brother were here, you could invite him to eat with us.”
Xiao Huzi repeatedly waved his hands and said: “No, no, I’m afraid he’ll scare the two sisters. He has his own way; he comes back full every day and never gets lost. He’s very capable!”
The conversation had naturally led to this point, easily making Kou Shuang recall the question the homeless woman asked on the beach that day. At that time, she felt her hair stand on end. Now, with public officials beside her, she felt less afraid and pressed on: “Are homeless people and beggars being sent to other places? No wonder I haven’t seen them much lately.”
Zheng Fenglin said: “Not just homeless people, but street performers and beggars are also being managed. The effect is usually temporary, like cutting chives, one batch after another. The brothers are all exhausted. But the workload has significantly decreased recently. Maybe the urban management brothers are doing well; they’re truly working hard.”
Kou Shuang’s heart relaxed, a heavy stone lifting.
There were no bizarre disappearances of homeless people; the city’s cleanliness was purely due to government efforts. The homeless woman had just scared herself, and coincidentally scared Kou Shuang too. This situation was as good as it could get.
Unfortunately, before she could even sigh in relief, she saw Xiao Huzi stuttering, as if he had something to say.
“What do you want to say?” Kou Shuang asked.
Zheng Fenglin patted Xiao Huzi’s back and said: “Just say what you want. It’s because you’re so sneaky that people never trust you!”
Song Muxue finished arranging all the rice bowls and said: “What are you talking about? It’s time to eat.”
Xiao Huzi seemed a little afraid of Song Muxue. As soon as he saw her expressionless face, he chickened out, waved his hand, and said: “No, nothing. Let’s eat.”
••••
Xiao Huzi and Zheng Fenglin both had huge appetites. They devoured their food as if they hadn’t eaten in centuries, and kept praising the two girls’ cooking skills.
Kou Shuang didn’t know about Song Muxue, but she herself certainly wasn’t full. However, worried about spoiling the mood, she didn’t say anything.
After they broke up and left the dorm, Kou Shuang was thinking about what snacks they had at home to tide her over when she heard Song Muxue say: “When we get home, shall we cook some noodles?”
Kou Shuang looked at Song Muxue in surprise, feeling a sense of relief at finding a companion: “You’re not full either?!”
Song Muxue smiled faintly and said: “I’m alright. What about you?”
“Tch, if you’re strong enough to eat more, then don’t be so stubborn!” Kou Shuang said: “If you’re really ‘alright,’ how about we go to a street food stall? It’s still early.”
Kou Shuang loved eating “gutter oil” (a colloquial term for unhygienic street food) and greasy, salty roadside stalls, but Song Muxue adhered to a healthy lifestyle, preferring to cook light dishes herself. Their eating habits weren’t completely identical, but by accommodating each other, they managed to get by.
Kou Shuang had thought Song Muxue was truly stubborn and wouldn’t agree to her suggestion. To her surprise, Song Muxue hesitated very little and smiled, saying: “That works too.”
The two of them went to a nearby snack street and casually found a barbecue street food stall to sit down at. Kou Shuang sat down naturally. Song Muxue hesitated for a moment. The former immediately understood, took out a pack of tissues from her bag, meticulously wiped the seat and table clean, and exaggeratedly said: “Please be seated, honored guest!”
Song Muxue still struggled for a while before carefully protecting her bag and sitting down.
Kou Shuang burst out laughing and said: “Song Muxue, you’re not really a germaphobe, are you? You’ll miss out on so many delicious things like that.”
Song Muxue frowned slightly, pointed at the discarded tissues Kou Shuang used to wipe the table and chairs, and said: “It’s all black grime. Don’t you think it’s dirty?”
Just as Song Muxue finished speaking, the shop owner placed the menu between them and loudly said: “Young ladies, it’s fine! I’ve been doing this for ten years! Customers come and go, and not a single one has gotten food poisoning! A little dirt never hurt anyone, right?!”
The shop owner was overly enthusiastic, even reaching out and patting Song Muxue on the shoulder.
“…” Song Muxue was silent for a moment and said: “Mm.”
Kou Shuang found Song Muxue’s contorted face somewhat amusing. She didn’t burst out laughing until the shop owner walked away, saying: “Give the shop owner a little face, will you? Just try it first. If it’s not good, we won’t come next time. This table is already considered clean, so I guess it won’t be exceptionally delicious.”
Song Muxue said: “Your words are what’s not giving the shop owner face.”
Kou Shuang seemed to have been tickled by a funny bone. She laughed to herself for a while longer before seriously looking at the menu and saying: “What do you want to eat? Just order.”
Song Muxue looked at the greasy menu and didn’t even want to touch it. After hesitating for a moment, she said: “The same as you, double portions.”
Kou Shuang raised an eyebrow and looked at Song Muxue, saying: “Don’t complain about it being dirty later. I can’t eat two portions by myself.”
“Mm, if you eat, I’ll eat,” Song Muxue nodded.
Kou Shuang quickly ordered from the menu. While waiting for their food, she chatted with Song Muxue about recent work, the homeless woman, and Xiao Huzi whom she had just met.
Earlier, when the homeless woman asked that question, Kou Shuang had repeated it to Song Muxue. At that time, Song Muxue was very cautious and stated: “If the disappearance of the homeless people isn’t normal, then someone will eventually report it. If Zheng Fenglin hasn’t received any news, it’s highly likely there’s no incident.”
At that time, Kou Shuang said: “But, even if the homeless people disappeared, wouldn’t anyone call the police?”
Perhaps the homeless woman’s psychological suggestion was too strong. Kou Shuang couldn’t help but imagine a possibility: What if someone was secretly abducting the homeless people?
There were so many homeless people in a city, and their mobility was high. Most office workers wouldn’t notice a beggar here or a homeless person there. They appeared and disappeared, no one knew where they came from or where they went, and no one cared about their death or disappearance.
If that were truly the case, it would be terrifying.
At that time, Song Muxue ended with “Don’t scare yourself,” and Kou Shuang put aside all her doubts. The reason was simple: Song Muxue told her not to think about it, so there should be no problem.
But Xiao Huzi’s behavior just now made her reconsider this possibility.
“Tell me, what did Xiao Huzi mean just now? Was he trying to tell us something? But he shut up as soon as he saw you. Looks like your power is still great,” Kou Shuang said.
Song Muxue said: “Am I very scary?”
Kou Shuang chuckled and said: “Not exactly, just, you don’t smile, especially when facing outsiders. You should smile more.”
Song Muxue looked at Kou Shuang, then broke into a huge, radiant smile. It was as if all the ice and snow on her face had melted, and spring bloomed instantly, momentarily dazzling Kou Shuang.
“Like this?”
“Yes, yes, yes, exactly like this! Beautiful! Vibrant! Full of spirit!”
“My face is going to cramp,” Song Muxue took a sip of water.
“Look, look, the Xiangxi corpse-driving team is here again!” The customer at the next table said excitedly, even pulling out his phone to record, saying: “This time, I’m definitely posting it on Weibo!”
Kou Shuang’s attention was drawn. She looked in the direction the neighboring customer’s phone was pointing.
Along the street of food stalls, there was only a very narrow path in the middle, barely wide enough for one person to pass. The first thing to appear on this path was a bamboo pole, with a piece of old newspaper hanging from it.
Next was the figure holding the bamboo pole, quite short and thin. As the figure gradually approached, an even smaller figure was seen following behind. Neat and quiet, their formation was orderly, reminding one of the zombies traveling at night in Hong Kong ghost movies.
“What’s going on?” another customer at the next table asked.
“I don’t know, sometimes they pass by like this. It looks terrifying, but it’s quite interesting.”
As the “corpse-driving team” drew closer, Kou Shuang’s eyes widened.
This wasn’t a corpse-driving team at all; it was clearly the homeless woman and that group of children! On the beach, they were like an elementary school teacher with students on a spring outing, but at night, they turned into Xiangxi corpse drivers.
Kou Shuang felt a little exasperated and amused. She stood up and called out: “Hey! Xiaodie!”
To her surprise, upon seeing Kou Shuang, the homeless woman sharply blew her whistle. The piercing sound echoed throughout the entire snack street, causing customers to grumble, some even complaining to the owner.
The homeless woman and the children scattered like startled birds. Kou Shuang hadn’t anticipated this change and was stunned for a moment. She could only instinctively grab a little girl, who happened to be Xiaodie.
“Xiaodie, what were you doing just now?”