I Ended Up Cross-Dressing, My Secret Relationship with a Handsome Guy (BL) - Chapter 11

The warmth I felt was cooler than expected, carrying a faintly sweet scent.

“Haha, your eyes are round like a cat’s.”

His raspy voice and breath were close enough to graze my skin. I couldn’t see him well in the dim light, but I had a feeling his eyes were slightly narrowed, as if he was amused.

The hand that had brushed my cheek withdrew, and my view of the night sky returned. Fireworks continued to bloom—small bursts, large explosions, vibrant colors painting the darkness.

But I couldn’t focus on them at all. I couldn’t even turn my head.

“…!”

Kiryu’s hand overlapped mine.

His long fingers slipped between mine, locking them together as if to make sure I couldn’t escape.

“Let’s watch the fireworks a little longer.”

The sound of my heartbeat echoed so loudly in my ears that it drowned out everything else. I wasn’t watching the fireworks anymore, and despite the shaved ice I’d eaten, my throat felt parched.

Yet Kiryu remained completely unfazed, as if nothing had happened.

For a fleeting moment, I wondered if I had imagined it all—but his hand was still warm, contradicting that thought.

I couldn’t say anything.

Not “stop it,” not “are you messing with me?” not “what kind of joke is this?” Nothing.

All I could think about was how unbearably loud my heart was and how beautiful Kiryu’s eyes had been the moment before our lips touched.

—Ah, I didn’t hate it.

That thought held me captive.

“Yukihō, can you stand?”

“…Yeah.”

The fireworks must have been nearing their finale. Kiryu stood up first, and still feeling dazed, I numbly took his hand as he helped me to my feet.

Without a word, we walked against the tide of festival-goers. Eventually, the warm glow of the festival lights gave way to the familiar stark white of fluorescent streetlights.

There were still a few people around, making their way home from the festival, but they were scattered at a distance.

I wasn’t walking beside Kiryu—I was being pulled along. That alone showed how shaken I still was.

Our hands were clasped in a way that made it clear they belonged to two men, and yet Kiryu’s hand felt larger, more defined. It looked cool—too cool. That realization made my chest tighten with frustration.

With a click, the door to Kiryu’s house opened. After making sure I stepped inside, he closed it behind me.

There were no signs of life inside. His parents probably weren’t home yet.

“Your face is bright red.”

Kiryu turned to look at me, his expression filled with unmistakable amusement. He took another step closer.

Thump.

My back hit the door.

The second kiss happened just like that.

“…Why?”

This time, my voice actually came out—but it was so weak, almost laughable.

Kiryu’s gaze was unreadable.

His eyes were beautiful, but deep, smooth like water, revealing nothing.

“Because you’re cute.”

Should I have gotten angry?

Should I have laughed it off?

I didn’t know.

What would a “normal” person do in this situation? Would they recoil in disgust? Would they brush it off as a joke and move on?

There were so many possible choices, but I had no idea which one to pick.

By the time I realized it, I was borrowing Kiryu’s bathroom.

Gone was the yukata, the wig, the makeup.

The reflection in the mirror was just me—Saitō Yukihō.

Fully dressed again in my own clothes, I headed for Kiryu’s room. The moment I reached for the doorknob, my body tensed involuntarily.

No matter how much I thought about it, I had no answers.

I didn’t know what kind of face to make when I saw him again.

But time wouldn’t stop, and the world wouldn’t conveniently end just because I was stuck.

So I had to keep moving forward.

Taking a deep breath, I opened the door.

“Thanks for letting me use the bath.”

I spoke with my head down.

“You’re back to your usual self, Yukihō. Feel refreshed?”

Kiryu’s voice was so normal, so completely unbothered that it caught me off guard.

At the same time, something heavy settled in my chest.

“Guess I should take a bath, too. It’s already late—do you want to stay over?”

“…I’m going home.”

“Alright. Be careful.”

Kiryu walked past me and left the room.

The sound of the door closing felt strangely cold, mechanical.

And with that, I suddenly remembered something I had almost forgotten.

“…Kiryu only likes guys when they’re cross-dressing, huh.”

Saying it out loud gave shape to the thought, solidifying it within me.

It was such a stupid reason, but it was the truth.

I couldn’t help but laugh.

Kiryu treated me like I was special.

But that was probably just because we shared a secret.

Maybe it was something like a sense of solidarity—like we were in this together.

If anyone found out, we’d both be judged for it.

So it made sense that a certain kind of bond had formed between us.

It’s the same in dramas and movies—when two people commit a crime together, they’re bound by an unbreakable connection, for better or worse.

We were probably the same.

The only difference was that my kind of “special” wasn’t the normal kind.

“…So that’s why I hated it.”

Trying to steady myself, I took a deep breath, gathered my few belongings, and left Kiryu’s house.

There were still buses running, but I decided to walk home.

The summer night was hot and humid.

As I passed through the rows of luxurious houses, I spotted people trickling back from the festival—friends, families, couples. Most of them looked satisfied, as if they’d had a great time.

A few hours ago, I had probably looked just like them.

The moment that thought crossed my mind, I instinctively quickened my pace, as if trying to shake off the memory.

If only I could erase it completely, like sweat evaporating in the heat.

“I-I’m home.”

“Welcome back. Huh? Why are you in such a hurry? Want to take a bath?”

“Yeah.”

When I was moving, I hadn’t noticed it as much.

But the moment I stopped, sweat poured down my body.

I felt disgusting.

Even though I had just showered, I headed for the bathroom again.

As I stripped off my clothes and let the lukewarm water run over me, an unfamiliar scent lingered.

“…Tch.”

I roughly ran my fingers through my hair, soaking it completely before scrubbing it with my usual shampoo.

I scrubbed and scrubbed, trying to wash it all away.

But at some point, I realized—my breathing had become unsteady.

“…God, this is pathetic.”

My vision blurred.

Not because I wasn’t wearing my glasses.

Bubbles formed at my feet, swirling down the drain, their shapes indistinct.

This was pathetic.

I muttered it again and crouched down in the shower.

Because the truth is—

I had been happy.

Everything.

The way Kiryu first spoke to me on that rainy day.

The ridiculous secret we shared.

The way he called me cute.

The time we spent together today.

Even the kiss.

All of it.

Because I had loved Kiryu for a long, long time.