I Ended Up Cross-Dressing, My Secret Relationship with a Handsome Guy (BL) - Chapter 14

After summer break, the frequency of my visits to Kiryu’s house had decreased.

The reason was simple—he had run out of outfits.

No matter how rich Kiryu’s family was, there was no way they would support their son’s bizarre hobby. Apparently, every costume he had collected so far had been purchased with his own money.

At the time, I had simply thought, Oh, so that’s how it is.

But when I went home and thought about it more carefully, I realized something. The fact that he even had the financial means to afford all of that in the first place was insane.

It made me seriously reconsider my life choices.

I had assumed that with fewer photoshoots, my interactions with Kiryu would decrease as well. But surprisingly, that wasn’t the case.

He was oddly diligent about staying in touch.

Every day, he sent messages about the most trivial things.

For the record, ever since we exchanged contact information, there hadn’t been a single instance where our conversation was left hanging for more than 24 hours.

“Hey, Yukiho, what about this part?”

“Hmm…?”

Today, I was studying for our upcoming test with Kiryu.

We were in his room—somehow, I had gotten so used to this place that it now felt comfortable.

Sitting at his low table, we had spread out our textbooks and worksheets, each studying in our own way.

As always, I struggled with math, while Kiryu had a hard time with modern and classical Japanese.

I wasn’t particularly smart, but I was good at literature.

“…So, if you answer it like this, it should be fine. Nishiyama-sensei likes this kind of phrasing.”

“Huh… I see. Makes sense. You’re good.”

“Not really.”

Since we sat next to each other to make it easier to help one another, all I had to do was lean slightly, and our shoulders would touch.

But Kiryu wasn’t interested in me when I wasn’t dressed up.

There was no reason to be on guard.

That should have been a relief.

And yet, the fact that it wasn’t—that it actually stung—was just another sign of how hopelessly smitten I was.

“You really observe people, Yukiho.”

“…What’s with that all of a sudden?”

“Just an observation. You notice teachers’ tendencies really well.”

“It’s nothing special. If you compare past exams, you can see the patterns.”

I dropped my gaze back to the worksheet in front of me.

It was filled with math word problems.

I immediately frowned and tried to focus.

“Do you observe me too?”

I must have been scowling too hard at the paper, because Kiryu laughed and reached out, smoothing out the furrow in my brow with his fingers.

“…Yeah. I’m always watching, wondering when you’ll screw up.”

“Hey! You don’t trust me?”

“What’s surprising is that you actually thought you were trustworthy in the first place. Try putting your hand over your heart and really thinking about everything you’ve done.”

I let out a deliberately exaggerated sigh and returned my attention to my worksheet.

But my heart was racing at an alarming speed, and I could feel cold sweat trickling down my back.

“Observation” had always been a form of survival for me.

I observed others to collect information, to figure out how to eliminate any differences between me and those around me.

It was a dull but necessary battle to remain “normal.”

But with Kiryu, it was different.

Even before I realized I had feelings for him, I had been watching him.

Like gathering puzzle pieces, I discovered new things about him and filled in the gaps.

I had watched him so much that I was probably the first to notice even the smallest changes in him.

And because of that, I knew—

Kiryu observed people too.

Had he figured it out?

Not my feelings—

But the fact that I was always watching him.

My throat felt dry.

The room that had once felt comfortable now felt like a torture chamber.

And yet, Kiryu, either oblivious or indifferent to my turmoil, did exactly as I had suggested.

Which meant—

He had placed a hand over his chest, pretending to think.

“If I had to guess…”

But I was a master at pretending to be “normal.”

I could keep my mind on Kiryu while still reading a math problem and giving a half-hearted response.

“Hmm…”

Ah, wait. Maybe the solution to this problem is—

“Probably the fact that we kissed.”

Crack.

The lead in my mechanical pencil snapped, scattering tiny fragments onto the blank white page.

I stared at the spot where the tip had broken, frozen.

A heavy, yet weightless silence fell between us.

Slowly, I forced myself to look up.

And there he was—

Kiryu, wearing an expression I had never seen before.

I had deliberately avoided bringing it up.

That day. That moment.

I had convinced myself that as long as we didn’t talk about it, I could keep it locked away as a convenient little fantasy—something I could cherish as a memory.

I had thought Kiryu felt the same.

After all, he had acted so unbelievably normal afterward, as if to tell me, It was nothing. It never happened.

And yet, he had just spoken it into existence.

Tearing apart the illusion I had so carefully built.

The flicker of fire.

Kiryu’s face filling my vision.

The faint scent of sweat.

Soft lips—slightly chilled from eating shaved ice.

The moment we pulled away—

The lingering scent of sweet strawberries.

A shiver ran down my spine.

Everything about that moment crashed over me like a tidal wave.

“Yukiho.”

“I’m leaving.”

“…Huh?”

What kind of expression was I making right now?

I didn’t need a mirror to know.

My face was probably a mess.

My whole body felt unbearably hot.

My vision blurred.

I could feel the pathetic, ugly expression twisting my features.

Kiryu called my name, his voice laced with confusion.

Hearing my name in his voice had always felt special.

But now—

Every syllable made my heart ache.

I shoved my notebooks, textbooks, and worksheets into my bag with reckless urgency.

Placing a hand on the table, I pushed myself up.

“Wait, Yukiho!”

I had never heard Kiryu sound like this before.

His fingers closed around my wrist—his grip warm, almost searing.

It was dangerous.

Every time he touched me, it was dangerous.

Because no matter what—

Every single time, it felt special.

“Let go.”

Ah.

Even my voice was trembling.

Kiryu must have realized something because he immediately loosened his grip.

And the moment he did, I bolted.

The only thing I knew for certain—

Was that I could never see Kiryu again.