I Ended Up Cross-Dressing, My Secret Relationship with a Handsome Guy (BL) - Chapter 18

From that day on, I lost all contact with Yukiho.

To be precise, I stopped reaching out to him—so naturally, he never contacted me either.

Now that I think about it, I was always the one to message first. Not once had Yukiho ever initiated a conversation.

Back then, that was fine. In fact, it fit perfectly with my understanding of who Yukiho Saito was.

But right now, that very part of his personality was driving me insane.

Because it didn’t make sense.

At school, we were undeniably the closest to each other.

Ever since that first time we took photos, we had never gone a single day without texting. I didn’t keep that kind of routine with anyone else.

From good morning to good night, we were always in touch.

Even though we never talked at school, our messages had felt special, comfortable.

But now, it seemed like I had been the only one who thought so.

That realization left me feeling miserable.

I knew I had no right to be angry at him. I knew my frustration was misplaced.

But no matter how much I tried to understand, I couldn’t figure out why Yukiho had suddenly pulled away.

No matter how much I thought about it, I couldn’t find an answer.

And so, as much as I hated to admit it, I found myself on the rooftop.

“Wait, you’re telling me you weren’t actually dating that ‘kitty’ of yours?!”

“…”

“So you tried to lock him down, failed, and he ran away? Damn, that’s rough.”

“I clearly chose the wrong person to talk to. Goodbye.”

“Wait, wait, wait! C’mon, let’s at least talk this through properly! I am, after all, the number one ladies’ man of this school—Tanaka-sama!”

“You know, for a last name like Tanaka, being popular is kind of unexpected.”

“Apologize to every Tanaka in the country, you jerk.”

I was on the rooftop with Tanaka.

The mid-October breeze was getting colder, and I had finally started wearing a cardigan.

Which meant it had been about a month since I lost contact with Yukiho.

To be honest, I was completely drained.

I was suffering from Yukiho deficiency.

No more photoshoots, no more brief glances exchanged in class, no more daily messages.

The only time I heard his voice now was when a teacher called on him in class.

It was unbearable.

But I couldn’t bring myself to contact him.

And so, swallowing my pride, I decided to consult Tanaka.

“So let me get this straight—you weren’t even dating him, yet you invited him over multiple times, went out with him, kissed him, and then just… expected things to stay the same?”

Tanaka leaned against the fence, his smirk practically dripping with amusement.

“Well, I guess with how you usually handle relationships, that wouldn’t be a problem, huh?”

He nodded to himself like he was analyzing some great mystery before suddenly turning to face me.

“Did you ever actually tell him you liked him?”

“…Huh?”

“What?”

Silence.

I probably looked just as confused as I felt, but Tanaka’s expression practically screamed, You’ve got to be kidding me.

No, no, no. That’s impossible.

Yukiho’s a guy. There’s no way I could like him.

“Wow, you really are an idiot.”

“Shut up. I’m not an idiot.”

“Nope, you totally are. Wait—hold on, hold on. Don’t tell me… you actually don’t realize it?”

“I don’t like him.”

“Uh-huh. Sure. Except, normal people don’t kiss someone they don’t like. Normal people don’t bring home someone they don’t like.”

“I’ve kissed other people before.”

“Yeah, but you never brought them home. Do you even realize how many of your exes came to me for advice, wondering why you never invited them over?”

I had no comeback for that.

I only ever invited Yukiho over because I needed a place for him to change.

All my stuff was at my house, so it was the most efficient option.

That was it.

And yet, for some reason, my stomach was twisting itself into knots.

“And at the summer festival, you totally blocked me.”

“…Huh?”

“Blocked. You know, when someone keeps an opponent distracted so they can’t act freely.”

Had I done that to Tanaka?

“You wouldn’t let me see his face. You acted genuinely pissed every time I tried talking to him. And on top of that, you wouldn’t shut up about him to everyone else. Dude, all the girls who had been into you? Yeah, they’ve all given up. Everyone thinks Kiryu finally got himself a real boyfriend.”

“…Wait.”

“I am waiting.”

My mind was spinning.

At the festival, I hadn’t wanted anyone to see Yukiho—yes, I had wanted to keep him to myself.

But more than that, I had been afraid of what would happen if people recognized him.

If that got out, we’d both be socially done for.

And what was this about me bragging? When did I do that?

“…Define ‘bragging.’”

“You literally said, ‘He’s way too cute for me to show you any pictures.’ You know what that’s called, right?”

“…I mean, he is cute.”

“THAT’S NOT THE POINT!”

It wasn’t like I was lying.

I really couldn’t show them pictures.

And Yukiho was the cutest person in the world.

All I did was say the truth—so why did that make it sound like I was in love with him?

That couldn’t be right.

There was no way.

“…Wow. You really are a hopeless virgin.”

I had no idea what Tanaka meant by that, and in the end, I went home without any real answers.

I threw myself onto my bed, unable to focus on anything.

My mind was completely consumed by thoughts of Yukiho.

But no matter how much I thought about it, I couldn’t find a solution.

I wanted things to go back to how they were.

But Yukiho didn’t.

I still didn’t understand why he had reacted that way that night.

I didn’t even know if it was my fault or not.

“I’m completely stuck…”

I muttered, exhausted, just as my phone buzzed in my pocket.

For a second, my heart jumped—could it be?

But when I checked the screen, it was just some girl from school whose face I barely remembered.

Definitely not Yukiho.

I let out yet another sigh, skimming through the unread messages.

Then, I paused.

Opening my calendar app, I frowned.

“…The school festival, huh.”

I didn’t particularly care about school events.

But if everyone was putting in the effort, I figured I might as well, too.

At least, that was my thought process—until the class meeting later that week hit me like a brick.

“Alright! This year, we’re doing a Gender-Swap Café!”

“Huh?”

Someone casually suggested Yukiho.

I instinctively turned to look at him—he was completely frozen.

His own name had caught him more off guard than anyone.

“Dude, he’s pale as hell, super skinny, and has crazy long lashes. He’d totally pull it off.”

My heart made an awful, twisting sound.