I Ended Up Cross-Dressing, My Secret Relationship with a Handsome Guy (BL) - Chapter 29

For example, imagine throwing something into the ocean, fully prepared to never see it again.

The ocean is vast, and once something is tossed into it, the chances of ever retrieving it are practically nonexistent.

But what if, against all odds, that very thing came back to you—untouched, not a single scratch on it, shining even more brilliantly than before?

How would you feel?

Would you be happy? Proud?

Or would you be furious, demanding to know why it had returned?

There are probably countless ways to react.

But for me, none of those emotions fit.

The only word that described what I felt was confusion.

“Yukiho, let’s study together.”

“I—I don’t want to…!”

Late November.

The cold grew stronger with each passing day, and the looming final exams meant I was supposed to be studying alone, as usual.

I had packed my things, ready to head to the library, when Kiryu, sitting in the seat in front of me with his usual effortlessly cool expression, casually suggested it.

Of course, my answer was no.

I grabbed my bag, eager to leave, but he grabbed it at the same speed.

A simple contest of strength was one I had no chance of winning, so I had no choice but to sink back into my chair, biting back my frustration.

“I study alone.”

“I can cover all the subjects you struggle with.”

“I need to be able to do it on my own. That’s the point of studying.”

“But if you’re going to get stuck and ask the teacher tomorrow anyway, wouldn’t it be more efficient to ask me today?”

A solid argument.

Kiryu was smart.

Not just class smart—he was at the top of the entire grade when it came to math and science.

To someone like me, who was hopeless at numbers, he was an enigma.

“…I don’t want to study with you because I can’t concentrate when you’re around.”

“But I can.”

“You—ugh, you’re insufferable…!”

I had made a fool of myself in front of him not long ago.

Cried, even.

Just thinking about it now was humiliating.

If there had been a hole in the ground, I would have gladly buried myself in it.

After that, when I had come to my senses, I had shoved him away and run.

That should have been the end of it.

And yet, ever since that day, Kiryu had started talking to me more.

A simple “good morning” before class.

Small talk during breaks.

Moments like this, after school.

Just short, casual interactions—like we were friends.

Honestly, I wanted him to stop.

I liked him.

I knew that.

And more than anyone, I knew my feelings weren’t returned.

So why was he doing this?

Why was he acting like nothing had changed?

And worse, why was he so deliberate about it?

He always chose moments when there weren’t many people around, making it impossible for me to brush him off completely.

That’s how we ended up in situations like this.

“…Normally, people just decide to stay out of each other’s lives, don’t they?”

I groaned, burying my head in my hands.

No matter how I tried to make sense of things, I couldn’t understand why Kiryu was acting like this.

“Why?”

“W—what do you mean, why?”

“I told you that day, didn’t I? That I wanted to talk to you, to be friends.”

“I never said I was okay with that.”

“But you never said no, either.”

“That’s the dumbest excuse I’ve ever heard.”

I let out a deep, exhausted sigh.

This feeling—

It had been a while since I’d felt this frustrated.

“…I don’t want to have anything to do with you anymore, Kiryu.

Talking to you is exhausting.

I want to forget everything, so just leave me alone.”

“It’s impossible.”

His blatant stubbornness made a vein throb in my forehead.

I barely held myself back from yelling, knowing it would attract attention.

Forcing myself to take another deep breath, I pushed down the rising anger, but it only pooled deeper inside me, refusing to dissipate.

Glaring at him, I finally spoke.

“…I hate that about you.”

I immediately looked away, fixing my eyes on my bag.

“You completely ignore what I say.

You force your own way onto me, acting like it’s the most natural thing in the world.

I already told you—I’m not your toy.

I have things I hate, things that make me angry.

And right now, I don’t want to talk to you.”

I said it all in one breath, then exhaled slowly, trying to steady myself.

Even so, I couldn’t stop my hands from tightening around my bag as I lifted it onto my lap.

Staring at the deep navy fabric, I murmured,

“…Besides, isn’t it just insensitive to talk to someone after rejecting them?”

The loud bang of a chair scraping against the floor made me jump.

Like a startled cat, my shoulders twitched involuntarily.

When I looked up, I saw Kiryu frozen in place, his face slightly pale, his eyes wide with shock.

I stared back, just as bewildered.

He blinked rapidly, as if trying to process something.

Then, shaking his head over and over, he met my gaze and blurted out,

“I didn’t reject you!”

“…What?”

“I never rejected you, Yukiho!”

“You—y-your voice is way too loud!”

I stood up instinctively, glancing around the classroom.

Fortunately, there was no one walking in the hallway, and outside, the usual sounds of club activities filled the air.

Once I was sure that no one had overheard, a wave of relief washed over me, and I slowly sank back into my chair.

Kiryu had been watching my every move.

A moment ago, his face had been completely unreadable, like a mask.

But now, he looked like a lost, abandoned puppy.

I had no idea what triggered that change.

Frowning, I stared at him in confusion.

“You know… I already apologized the other day.”

“Huh? …Wait, hold on. Are you seriously talking about that?”

“What else would I be talking about?”

“There’s plenty of other things! But—no, wait. This is completely my fault. This is really, really my fault. But you actually meant that?!”

Now it was Kiryu’s turn to bury his head in his hands.

I had absolutely no idea how we ended up here.

As much as I wanted to escape, I couldn’t just leave him in this state, so I hesitated, watching him for a few moments.

Still hunched over, Kiryu remained completely defeated.

I tilted my head, utterly baffled.

“…Besides, that’s not even the point anymore.

If I’ve made things awkward for you, I’m sorry.

Just forget about it. That would be easier for you, wouldn’t it?”

“Shut up for a second.”

Kiryu’s low, unfamiliar tone made my back straighten automatically.

The air around us felt tense, making my chest tighten.

Wait.

Why was he getting angry?

I was about to ask, but he spoke first.

“I never rejected you.

I was surprised, sure. But I never once thought it was a bad thing.

And that ‘I’m sorry’ wasn’t about your confession.

So I need you to know that.”

In the quiet classroom, even the sound of his breathing was loud.

Because of that, I became even more aware of everything else—

Like how he kept clenching and unclenching his fists, restless and uneasy.

Or how his normally steady gaze wavered, filled with uncertainty.

I realized then—

Kiryu was nervous.

And beyond that, something I had said must have bothered him.

“And another thing.”

So, this was my answer key.

He was about to tell me exactly what had struck a nerve.

“Don’t decide my feelings for me.

I don’t think your feelings are a burden.

I don’t want to forget them either.”

His words, his unwavering gaze—

I couldn’t run from either.

The dream I had abandoned, convinced it was over, began stirring back to life.

“…Please.

Give me a chance to get to know you.”

At his quiet plea, I slowly blinked.