I Feel Like I’ve Become a Bothersome Person Getting in the Way Between My Childhood Friends. - Chapter 7.3

After that, I entered college and decided to major in biology and chemistry—required subjects for getting into medical school. Whenever I struggled with assignments, I had Professor Xeno to rely on, so I took full advantage of that. It felt like our old study sessions from elementary school all over again, only now the place had changed from the library to Xeno’s apartment, where he lived alone.

I think it was around the time he joined NASA that something about Xeno started to seem off.

“…Xeno, are you getting enough sleep?”
“Of course.”

“Of course,” he said, but the dark circles under his eyes were too obvious to ignore. When he entered NASA, he moved out of his parents’ house—meaning he’d also left behind the structure that kept his daily routine in check. I couldn’t help but worry that his lifestyle had fallen apart. When Xeno got absorbed in his research, he’d easily skip sleep, and sometimes even meals. Back then, Stanley would drag him away from his desk and make sure he rested, but now Stanley was busy serving in the military.

“I’m going to head home for today.”
“Why? We haven’t finished the assignment yet.”
“So that you can go to bed early. It’s not even due soon.”
“I’m fine, really.”
“Then say that again when you can actually make it look convincing. You don’t look fine at all.”

I gathered my handouts and textbooks from the table, stuffed them into my bag, stood up, and headed toward the door. Xeno followed after me.

“Aria, you’re leaving already?”
“Get some proper sleep. I’ll come back when those dark circles disappear.”

I only said that because I didn’t want to get in his way. But I regretted those words when, weeks later, I finally heard from him again.

“Xeno? Have you been sleeping properly?”
“…”

There was no answer. When I called out again, I finally got a reply.

“…Don’t you have any assignments?”
“I do, but… Xeno, are you okay? You don’t sound well.”

His voice was dull, lifeless. It didn’t even sound like he was talking to me—it was as if he were muttering to himself.

“I want to see you.”
“…Xeno?”
“Aria.”

And with that, the call cut off. Something was definitely wrong. My anxiety spiked, and without thinking about the lecture I had next, I ran straight to Xeno’s apartment.

I rang the doorbell, but no one answered. Twice, three times—still nothing. A horrible thought crossed my mind: what if he had collapsed inside? But I couldn’t get in without a key. On impulse, I tried the door handle—and it opened easily.

“This is way too careless…!”

This wasn’t Japan, it was America. Leaving your door unlocked was practically inviting someone to break in. Before I could scold him in my mind, I remembered that he might be lying unconscious inside and hurriedly stepped in.

“Xeno!”
“…Aria? What are you doing here?”

Thankfully, the worst hadn’t happened. Xeno was sitting in front of his computer, still awake. But the room was a complete mess. Papers and research notes were scattered everywhere around the desk, and the floor was buried under piles of documents. His face looked completely drained.

“You called me earlier…”
“Did I? I remember wanting to see you, but you said you wouldn’t come until my dark circles were gone. I thought I was dreaming about talking to you, but it turns out it was real. Sorry for breaking that promise.”
“What’s with all these papers?”
“They’re all my research papers! Every single one of them got rejected! It’s ridiculous. I didn’t join NASA just to do grunt work! And those fools—making excuses about seniority and experience without even giving my work proper consideration!”

Xeno ranted at the screen, and I couldn’t bring myself to interrupt. While I was attending college lectures like usual, he had been struggling. Even when I visited last time, he probably hadn’t wanted me to leave. He must have been unable to bear the pressure and loneliness alone. Those “study sessions” were just a pretense. What he really wanted was company. I hated myself for not realizing it sooner.

“…How many days have you gone without sleep?”
“I’ve lost count.”
“Have you been eating?”
“Only nutrition supplements.”

I glanced at the trash can he pointed to—filled with empty jelly drink packs and supplement boxes.

“Oh, don’t worry. I’m still showering.”

That was it. This was bad. With Stanley gone, it was up to me to do something.

“Xeno, let’s go to bed for now.”

I tugged on his arm, trying to lead him to his bedroom, but he pulled away sharply.

“I don’t have time to sleep until I finish a paper that gets accepted.”
“Xeno.”
“Are you trying to get in my way too?”

His eyes were cold. I had never seen Xeno look at me like that before. For the first time, I realized he saw me as a distraction—and it made my legs freeze for a moment.

“I was the one who called, but I need you to leave now. I have to focus.”

That was a lie. He probably thought our phone call had been a dream. When he said “I want to see you,” that had been his real feeling. And deep down, he had to know that in this condition, he couldn’t produce anything worthwhile.

If pulling him didn’t work, then…

I forced him to face me and gently brushed my lips against his—just barely a kiss.

“…What?”

As expected, Xeno froze, eyes wide in confusion, looking at me like a broken machine.

“Sleep is important, you know.”
“W-what did you just…”

When I tugged at his arm again, this time he stood up from his chair without resistance. My plan had worked.

I led him to the bedroom, guiding him by the hand. The room was desolate—barely even lived in. The bed was perfectly made, the blanket neatly folded in the corner, as if it hadn’t been used at all.

“Aria, about what you just…”
“Okay, time for bed.”

I pulled him down onto the bed beside me, kicking the blanket up with my foot. The tension in the air finally eased, and Xeno gave a faint laugh.

“You have terrible manners, Aria. I never knew that about you.”
“That’s just how I am at home.”

The faint light seeping through the curtains cast a soft glow over Xeno’s silver hair. He used to be overshadowed by Stanley, but looking at him now, I realized he was just as handsome in his own way. Lying beside him, I couldn’t help but think that.

“…I shouldn’t have snapped at you earlier.”

As my hair fell over my face, Xeno gently brushed it aside. The closeness between us made me fully aware that we were sharing a bed, but I pushed down the embarrassment.

“It’s fine. But you should start locking your door.”
“I left it open so you could come anytime. I didn’t want to miss it if you came by while I was buried in work.”
“That’s dangerous. Lock it.”
“Then maybe I should give you a spare key?”
“Okay, enough jokes. Go to sleep.”

Even when I thought he was finally settling down, Xeno kept talking, so I pressed my finger against his lips to silence him.

I had successfully gotten him to bed. Just as I tried to get up, he grabbed my hand.

“Since when did I need to hold someone’s hand to fall asleep?”
“Since now.”

Xeno’s eyes were already half closed. Now that he was lying down, exhaustion and sleepiness were washing over him all at once. I thought I could slip away once he was fully asleep—but then he wrapped his arm around my waist, and I realized how naïve I was.

“I’ll tell Stanley on you.”
“…He’d probably punch me.”

He said that with a faint chuckle but didn’t let go.

I stroked his head gently, like comforting a child, and within seconds his breathing grew steady and calm. Once I was sure he was asleep, I pressed a soft kiss to his forehead.

A few days later, a spare key arrived in the mail.