I Received an NTR V*deo - Episode 15

I am a doll.
A small chair in the center of a large, empty room.
And I—placed neatly upon it.
Motionless.
I never made my own decisions.
I simply followed my parents’ instructions, never questioning them.
Because of that, I lost the ability to choose for myself.
They told me what lessons to take, how to behave, how to fit in.
I lived a life shaped entirely by others, one where my heart never once stirred.
My parents were always working—rarely home, but always issuing commands.
A maid was the one who raised me.
She cooked nutritionally balanced meals, the kind you’d find in a school cafeteria.
Not bad. Not good. Just… there.
Maybe it’s selfish, but I’ve never felt anything eating them.
No surprise. No delight. Just routine.
Our home was spotless.
I grew up in a pristine, privileged environment.
So clean that I started to feel disgusted by the outside world.
Dirt, germs—they made my skin crawl.
Since then, I’ve become a germaphobe. I can’t touch things freely, much less people.
Not even the maid. Not even my parents.
And I hate myself more and more for it.
This was my world through middle school.
No friends. No will of my own.
Just walking a path others paved for me.
But one day, I felt the smallest spark of rebellion.
Living like a doll had become unbearable.
I didn’t have the courage to change my life completely, but I took one small step—I changed the way I dressed.
A little bolder. A little flashier.
I adopted the style of a “gal.”
I couldn’t perm or dye my hair—my fear of chemicals wouldn’t allow it.
But even that small change made me feel… free.
Reborn, somehow.
I walked through town in that outfit and tried a hamburger for the first time.
That simple moment moved me to tears.
I didn’t even know why I cried.
After that, I started wearing makeup.
My face didn’t change much, but the girl in the mirror felt like someone new.
Someone who might finally be alive.
But life itself didn’t change.
School remained gray and numb.
Clubs were meaningless.
The world stayed dull, despite the color I tried to add.
Maybe I thought changing the outside would change the inside too.
It didn’t.
People still avoided me.
Even before I changed my look, others kept their distance.
Why?
Is it my lack of emotion? The way I speak?
I don’t mean to sound uninterested.
But my replies always come out flat, detached.
Some say I look scary.
I guess my narrow eyes give off the wrong impression.
A doll—cold and untouchable—watched from afar.
And so high school began.
Still, nothing changed.
The same days. The same people.
Just years stacking on top of each other.
Emotionless. Empty. A life of stillness.
Then came a shift—two years in.
A boy spoke to me.
His name was Shuji Netori.
He sat next to me in class and asked:
“Hey, do you want to go out with me?”
It had only been about a month since we met.
He confessed on the school rooftop.
His words didn’t stir anything in my heart.
But I feared the silence that might follow if I rejected him.
“Sorry. Let me think about it.”
I didn’t have other close friends, so I left my answer vague.
Netori smiled and said he’d wait, but something about his smile felt… shallow.
Later, I met some of his friends. They all encouraged me to say yes.
They said a boyfriend would change my life.
So I agreed.
“Yessss.”
He cheered, fist pumping the air.
The sky behind him was gray.
But dating Netori didn’t change anything inside me.
Each day passed as it always had—motionless.
He merely occupied the emptiness beside me.
He acted cocky around the Ryujin Academy kids.
He cheated on me openly.
When I searched for reasons to like him, I found none.
Was this what being in love was supposed to feel like?
He was always excited to see me, even when I barely responded.
It felt one-sided.
“Hey, Hoshina. Can we at least hold hands now?”
“Impossible.”
“Come on, we’re dating.”
“Even so, I can’t.”
“Hoshina~. Don’t be like that.”
One day, he tried to hug me in a deserted alley.
A chill ran through me. I pulled away.
“Please don’t. If you ever do something I hate again—”
“Sorry! I won’t! I promise!”
“And you’ve been cheating. Another girl told me she’s dating you too.”
“That was just a joke. You’re the only one I’m serious about.”
Being with Netori filled me with negativity.
I didn’t want to stay in this kind of relationship.
But I didn’t know how to break up with him.
“…”
“I won’t cheat again. Please don’t leave me.”
He looked genuinely on the verge of tears.
Maybe I should’ve ended it then.
But I didn’t.
I stayed with him out of inertia.
Even as his girlfriend, nothing felt real.
I had a curfew, he was up all night.
We barely texted.
Why did he even want to stay together?
He bragged about me like I was some accessory.
Another doll to keep around.
I could tell he liked me, but it wasn’t love.
It was possession.
His friends never said much to me, but I often heard them gossip behind my back.
That it wasn’t worth dating me.
And maybe they were right.
Then, one day on the rooftop, I overheard a conversation among the Root Birds.
They talked about a boy named Enjo Yujiro.
I felt I had to meet him.
Netori had heard some disturbing rumors about Yujiro, and I felt compelled to speak with Megumi’s boyfriend myself.
When I met Yujiro Enjo for the first time, I found him fascinating.
For the first time—my heart leapt.
I didn’t want to let go of that feeling.
So I clung to him, desperate to keep him close.
Especially after what happened with Netori.
Yujiro’s kindness moved me.
Like buried emotions were rising to the surface—emotions I never knew I had.
I still don’t know what I like besides hamburgers.
But with Yujiro, I feel like I can discover more.
When he touches me, I don’t feel fear.
My heart races, but it’s not unpleasant.
We went to the aquarium together.
It was beautiful.
Not just because of the place—but because he was there.
I’m sure it was him.
Yujiro doesn’t treat me like a doll.
He doesn’t place me on a pedestal or observe me from a distance.
He sits beside me.
That warmth… touches my soul.
I don’t fully understand the feelings I have for him yet.
But I know I’ll find the answer soon.
Because for the first time in my life—my heart is alive.