I Was Crossdressing But Ended Up Married - Chapter 1

“Levina, is there no magic to become a man?”

At Yael’s question, Levina, who had been tossing herbs into a cauldron, paused momentarily. The cave where she lived was adorned with shimmering crystals, and the cauldron emitted tendrils of steam mingled with the earthy aroma of herbs. Wearing a flower crown on her head and dressed in leather garments, Levina roamed barefoot across mountains, fields, and cities. She was Yael’s mentor.

When people think of magicians or shamans, they often imagine charlatans in remote mountain villages deceiving ignorant peasants with dried monkey paws or dog skulls. Nonetheless, some people in the northern territories were highly respected.

Levina was one of them. Though she had never explicitly asked for it, she was an outstanding shaman.

It was for this reason that Yael dared to pose such a question. Leaning slightly toward Yael, Levina asked,

“A man? Why?”

“Because I swore to the prince that I would live as one,” Yael groaned, lifting a large parchment book. Books were expensive, often worth as much as an entire house. The cover was delicately embossed with gold, bearing the title The Twelve Laws of War. Books like this were piled high in Levina’s cave.

Whenever Yael asked her mentor about something she didn’t understand, Levina would answer without trouble, and Yael delighted in listening. In her early teens, Yael was thin and walked with a limp. Her black hair was sharply cut just below her ears.

Since Yael already dressed as a boy, Levina pressed further.

“Did the prince discover that you’re a girl?”

“Yes. The prince found out I had started my first menstruation, so he ordered me to live as a man, saying women usually flee when they’re in a rut.”

Levina’s eyebrow twitched. Yael’s tone was calm as if she weren’t aware of the insult. After setting the book down on the desk, she looked at her mentor expectantly. Levina observed Yael silently before retrieving something from a crooked wooden shelf. It was a pair of earrings.

“They’re enchanted. Put these on and you’ll transform into a man.”

“Really?” Yael’s voice sounded filled with joy. Her blue eyes sparkled with excitement.

“Are you giving them to me?”

“Yes,” Levina replied curtly. And after a moment’s hesitation, she added,

“Yael, if you’re going to become a man, you’ll need to speak more roughly. Instead of saying, ‘Please don’t do this,’ try, ‘F**k off!'”

“You mean I should act tough?”

“Exactly. You’re slender and pretty-faced for a man, so that’ll suit you better.”

“Yes, Master.”

When Yael nodded, Levina patted her head and said,

“And promise me this: someday, you’ll return to give these earrings back to me.”

“Yes. I promise.”

Levina smiled bitterly at her quick response.

“Now, there are a few things to keep in mind. First, during your cycle, you’ll return to being a woman. And…”

Levina’s voice trailed off into a mumble. Unable to hear clearly, Yael leaned in closer to listen.

The bubbling cauldron, the warm, humid air infused with the aroma of herbs, the glistening specks of light dissolving in the atmosphere, and the increasingly distinct crackling sound of wood.

Crack- crack- Someone was calling her name. A hand was shaking her shoulder.

“—cer. Officer. Sir Yael.”

The insistent shaking jolted Yael awake. It seemed she had dozed off while sitting. A man was now leaning in close, his green eyes scrutinizing her face.

“Are you all right?”

“I’m fine. My apologies, Sir Marcus,” Yael replied quietly. It was only then that Marcus eased the tension in his mouth and stepped back.

The wind howled ferociously at the cave’s entrance, carrying a biting chill deep into her bones. Her teeth chattered involuntarily. She might have sealed her fate for good if she had slept a little longer.

Marcus dusted the snow off his cloak and handed her something wrapped in a handkerchief.

“It’s quite edible.”

Yael’s eyes widened as she looked at the bright red fruit Marcus handed her. Tiny, round berries, each the size of a thumbnail, were piled atop the handkerchief. She instantly recognized what they were.

“Sir?”

Yael glanced between the fruit and Marcus. Her hesitation prompted him to ask.

“Is this fruit unsafe to eat?”

“No, it’s not that, but… Did you eat them first?”

“Yes, I had plenty.”

Yael frowned slightly before carefully accepting the fruit with both hands. Pulling out her handkerchief, she split one of the berries in half and handed half of it back to him.

“You’re larger than I am, and you’re injured. You need to eat more.”

“I’ve already eaten a lot.”

“Even so, please take more.”

At Yael’s insistence, Marcus reluctantly took the fruit back. He wasn’t lying—he had eaten plenty. He hadn’t expected to find a fruit-bearing tree in this weather, but Marcus found the fruits after spotting a deer nibbling on them. Though the deer escaped, he gathered an ample supply of the berries.

There was a limit to how much he could carry, so he ate a lot and saved the rest for Yael, only to have half of it returned to him. He waited until Yael put the fruit in her mouth, and did the same. The fruit’s icy chill, mixed with its sweet and tangy flavor, spread across his tongue.

“The blizzard is so fierce, I can’t venture far,” Marcus said, squinting. “I could barely see my own hands. There wasn’t even a glimmer of light to guide me. If I hadn’t tied myself to the rope as you suggested, I wouldn’t have found my way back to the cave.”

Yael let out a soft sigh.

“I never imagined we’d face a snowstorm in spring. I underestimated the weather. I’ve never heard of such a thing happening before.”

The small campfire burning within the cave was weak but enough. It provided them with warm water and a simple meal. Marcus shook his head.

“How can we control the weather? On the contrary, thanks to this weather, we can easily shake off our pursuers. Do you think the rest of the operation succeeded?”

Yael’s eyes narrowed as she spoke sharply.

“If this fails after all the hardships we have gone through, I’ll kill them.”

Marcus nodded in agreement. The plan had been to use herself as bait, but it would be problematic if one side succeeded, but the other didn’t.

Yael gazed at Marcus silently. He was the strongest member of the Sixth Prince’s army and the commander of the Lake Knights—the army’s heart. Only someone like him would have dared to join such an audacious tactic—sacrificing himself with her as bait.

The operation had gone smoothly, but they had not anticipated the spring snowstorm, which had caused them to miss the reunion point and left them stranded. In addition, Marcus’s injuries were a concern.

“How’s your wound?” Yael asked.

“It’s just a small cut; I’m fine. And you, Sir Yael? How’s your leg?”

“My leg is as useless as always.” Yael smiled faintly and responded, but Marcus asked again,

“How is your leg?”

“It’s fine,” she replied.

Yael limped her right leg slightly, an injury she’d sustained during her time as a palace servant, a disability she’d grown accustomed to over time.

She pushed another red berry into her mouth, feeling the warmth slowly spread through her body.

The fruit Marcus had brought was a rare and expensive one. Animals ate it during their mating season, and while it was believed it could be used as an aphrodisiac, it had a mild effect on humans, enough to warm the body. It could induce a bit of restlessness or even erotic dreams but nothing else.

‘As long as it isn’t mixed with medicinal herbs.’

When combined with medicinal herbs, the effects of both were enhanced. Yael’s fingers lightly brushed the bottle of powdered herbs hidden inside her sleeve, but she quickly pulled away. She deliberately lifted her head and spoke again.

“Sir Marcus, you should rest first.”

“Perhaps you should rest more,” Marcus said politely. Yael smiled faintly. She wrapped her legs close and looked at him.

“I’m a man too. There’s no need to worry so much about me. You rest first; we’ll take turns.”

Marcus didn’t respond. When Yael pursed her lips and muttered, “Stubborn,” he couldn’t help but chuckle softly.

Inside the cave, the small fire flickered with the wind, casting large dancing shadows on the wall behind Marcus. The shadows, large as his body, seemed to echo his imposing presence. His well-defined forehead, straight nose, and sculpted lips made him look like a statue carved with precision.

His masculine jawline and broad shoulders, honed by wielding a heavy lance, spoke of his strength. There wasn’t a single part of him that lacked in manliness. His faintly glowing golden hair and eyelashes added to his beauty, almost as if he was showcasing the ideal of male beauty.

Yael curled up even more.

‘Is this what they call a first love? I’m sure I’m not the first girl to make Marcus their first love.’

She absentmindedly fiddled with her earrings. These earrings allowed her to pass as a man without suspicion. She had never felt sad or pitied herself for cross-dressing. Living in such a war-torn world, it often seemed like a blessing to be seen as a man. She had been grateful for it multiple times because if she had not been a man, she would have never been recognized as the strategist she is. But the man in front of her made the woman inside Yael stir.

Staring intently at Marcus, she noticed a slight unnatural movement from him. Yael froze, and Marcus, sharp as always, caught up immediately.

“Sir Yael?”

“I request you let me see your wound, Sir.”

Her voice had become stern, and though Marcus’s cheek tensed for a moment, a soft voice soon followed.

“It’s not serious.”

“Not serious?! It looks like you are struggling to breathe!”

Yael raised her voice as if scolding another knight. Abandoning any thought of standing, she crawled toward him. Surprised, Marcus tried to pull back, but Yael’s hand was quicker.

She lifted his cloak, revealing a deep wound from a blade.

‘F**k. How could he wander outside with this injury? Does he have nerves of steel?’

“Sh*t, why didn’t you tell me about this? Do you really think I’m that useless?” Yael’s voice was sharp, frustration clear in her words.

“It’s not that. It isn’t that serious.”

“How is it fine? We have to cross a snow-filled mountain tomorrow, and you’ll have to deal with someone like me—a cripple.”

“This much is fine.”

“Hilarious,” she muttered, her words becoming harsher and shorter. After a brief pause, Marcus spoke again.

“Sir Yael, I’ll take you across the Odo Mountain tomorrow. Even if it snows, it won’t be a problem.”

“I’m telling you should speak up so I can apply the medicine!”

Frustrated, Yael reached into her sleeve to grab the herb bottle. For a split second, she hesitated but pushed it aside.

Her heart was pounding, not just from concern for Marcus, but also from the situation she had found herself in. Despite the pressure, she couldn’t afford to lose Marcus now—not after everything he had to go through because of her plan.

She forced a smile and looked at him, trying to steady herself.

“We need to mix it with water and apply it to the wound. You will become feverish, but it should be completely healed by tomorrow.”