I Was Reincarnated in a BL World, but as the Villainous Younger Brother of the Protagonist, So Please Leave Me Alone - CHAPTER FIVE

CHAPTER FIVE

In this body, Nanami Yuto struggles with emotions beyond just the [Brother’s Jealousy].

While I can somewhat suppress the [Brother’s Jealousy], making sure it doesn’t manifest outwardly, it’s not perfect. I don’t let it drive me to cause trouble for my brother out of jealousy, but this other emotion is something I can’t easily control.

This feeling, I imagine, is something that Nanami Yuto has been carrying and cannot let go.

It’s a story from shortly after I, as Nanami Yuto, began living with my brother.

“Yuto, let’s go to bed soon,”

After dinner, a bath, and some relaxing time in front of the TV, my brother suggests it’s time for bed. It’s 10 PM, the time for elementary school students to sleep. I nod at my brother’s suggestion and turn off the TV with the remote. As I get up, my brother follows suit, and we leave the living room together. At the top of the stairs, I put my hand on the door of my room and say,

“Good night.”

“Yeah, good night. Make sure to get up by 7 tomorrow,”

My brother, with his cheerful smile, makes me feel uncomfortable, and I look away, nodding, and enter my room. The sound of the door closing behind me brings a strange sense of relief.

This world is that of a BL game my sister loved, and I’m the villainous brother while my brother is the protagonist.

Several weeks have passed since I reincarnated into this world. Every day I remember the details of this world and sigh, feeling down as I recall the villainous end that awaits me. It’s a repetitive cycle. I know it’s meaningless, but my mind remains a tangled mess, and I haven’t adapted to this world at all.

I don’t understand myself. What is Yuto? Who am I? I was the eldest son. Today, as always, I couldn’t even properly look at my brother’s face or talk to him. I was too preoccupied with my own issues to focus on him.

“…Haa.”

Feeling heavy, I sigh deeply. I decide to lie down and quickly fall asleep. I walk to the bed, set the alarm clock for 6:30, and slip under the covers. The cold, unfeeling sensation of the bed makes me shiver slightly, but I warm it up with my body heat. Once I’m comfortably nestled, I close my eyes and wait for sleep to come.

——…Interference——

——Why do I have to raise this child——

Startled, I open my eyes with a jolt to find that it’s still dim outside. The clock reads 4 AM. I sigh heavily and recall the dream I had. It’s one of my earliest memories from right after my reincarnation, back when I was only three years old. I remember clearly how my real mother hated me.

My father only noticed this when I was five. Until then, he was unaware and thought we had a happy family. My mother was actually in love with my father and disliked me because I didn’t resemble him. She hid her disdain from my father, pretending to be a good mother when he was around. When he wasn’t home, I was neglected and mistreated.

“Get away.”

“Don’t come near me.”

“You’re disgusting.”

“Die.”

“Disappear.”

Even though these are harsh words that a young child might not fully understand, my reincarnated mind, still in high school, grasped their meaning entirely. My father eventually discovered the abuse when I was five, and a confrontation followed. Despite my mother’s attempts to cover it up, my father eventually left her and took me with him.

Before we left, my father cried and apologized repeatedly. He had failed to notice the abuse and felt deeply sorry. I didn’t know how to respond, so I clung to him, and he held me tighter, shedding even more tears.

Since then, my father managed to balance work and taking care of me. We eventually settled into a routine, and by the age of eight, things were more stable. My father had been planning a project and needed to marry quickly. The current wife, my new mother, was trusted with me, but she had to leave for work abroad soon, causing a temporary crisis.

Now, reflecting on all this, the most painful part is the abuse from my biological mother. Although I don’t feel a direct impact from this mother since she’s no longer around, the memories from my past life as her child still haunt me.

“Mom, I’m sorry.”

“I want to eat your food.”

“It hurts, Mom.”

“I love you, Mom.”

I only knew what my sister told me about Yuto’s past, but she never mentioned any abuse. If she had known, she would have certainly cried and shared the information. Since there’s no such memory, it seems she wasn’t aware. The past hasn’t changed just because I reincarnated; Yuto’s history still includes the abuse. In-game details aside, the memories of how my mother despised me are vivid.

Living with a kind and talented brother while being labeled as unnecessary, unlikeable, and a burden must have warped Yuto’s feelings. Even though Yuto knew that lashing out at his brother wouldn’t fix anything, he didn’t know how else to deal with his emotional turmoil.

“…Haa.”

The dream and my memories have resurfaced, and I’m reminded of things I tried to forget. My head aches slightly, and I sigh deeply as I sit up from the bed. The clock has only moved forward ten minutes; it’s not even 5 AM yet. Despite this, I feel no inclination to return to sleep, so I head to the bathroom and then to the living room for some water.

I carefully avoid making noise, opening and closing the bathroom door quietly to not wake my brother. After finishing in the bathroom, I drink a glass of water and sit down on the sofa, hugging a cushion and closing my eyes, trying to confront these [Brother’s Memories].

“Why was I born?”

In my search for memories, my real mother appears, but the feelings towards her are not sadness but rather a longing and love. Despite the abuse, I still crave her affection. Yuto’s memories reflect a desire for the mother who was kind and loving, not the one who mistreated him.

The sense of longing and love for a mother who could never be is overwhelming. Yuto’s feelings, influenced by the abuse and longing for a loving mother, lead to an internal conflict that can’t be easily resolved.

“M-mom.”

Saying it out loud causes a flood of emotions. Despite being an older soul, the memories drag me back to a child’s tears. I cry softly, unable to stop the flow of tears.

“Waaah… Mom…”

The sound of a door opening behind me interrupts my crying. My brother, having heard me, comes over with a worried expression. I feel sorry for waking him, but I can’t stop my tears.

“Yuto…? What’s wrong?”

My brother picks me up and holds me close, soothing me with gentle pats. I clutch his pajama with both hands, pressing my body against his.

“I want to see mom…”

“Yeah, I understand.”

He lifts me onto his lap and rocks me gently, like a cradle. The soothing motion and the warmth make me feel sleepy, and I close my eyes, drifting off again.

“Mom…”

“…Yes, sleep well.”

Feeling a soft touch on my forehead, I drift back into a dream.

“…Yes, this morning, Yuto was crying in the living room.”

“…Yuto was? Did he say anything?”

The call is with my new father, who I’ve been asked to contact if anything happens.

“He cried, saying he wanted to see mom.”

“…I see.”

“Since he seemed in no condition to go to school, I decided to let him stay home today.”

“Thank you.”

I sense a change in my father’s tone, and while it feels a bit heavy, I appreciate his kindness. I end the call with a feeling of gratitude.

“I’ll be there for Yuto if he needs me, and if you need anything, call us right away.”

“Yes!”

I’m touched by my father’s concern and feel a warm glow of appreciation. After the call with him, I speak with my mother. I would have liked to let Yuto speak with her too, but he’s currently resting with a slight fever.

I head to Yuto’s room, finding him sleeping soundly with a cool patch on his forehead. I gently stroke his head, and he smiles contentedly. Tonight, I’ll stay in Yuto’s room, sleeping beside him.

Don’t worry, Yuto. I’ll always be here to notice if you cry.

I stroke Yuto one more time before settling down on a blanket next to his bed. Turning off the lights, I whisper softly,

“Good night, Yuto.”