I Won't Clear Up the Misunderstanding. I Don't Mind Being the Villainess. - Chapter 25

“I deeply apologies, Your Grace!”
As soon as we’d climbed the stairs, opened the two doors, and stepped into the corridor, Holger bowed his head to me.
My body shivered for a split second right then. My lower back must have taken a beating.
“An apology won’t fix this, you know.”
I meant that sincerely.
Of course, I wasn’t going to blame him for being a servant who grabbed my hand—the Duchess’s hand—to help me escape the dungeon.
Nor for the comments he made to throw people off and make them think Kevin wasn’t here.
“You were merely executing the Duke’s direct order.”
Even after I added that, Holger’s expression remained dark. People who aren’t explicitly blamed often carry the heaviest guilt, shrinking under the pressure. It was the same in my past life, and it’s the same now.
Meanwhile, the true culprit shows zero remorse, acting completely unfazed.
He won’t bother reflecting until the moment he finally loses his footing.
“You are going to call a doctor today, aren’t you?”
“Yes, absolutely, Your Grace.”
Holger instantly affirmed my question. Yet, there’s a part of me that can’t trust him entirely.
If Kevin told him not to call a doctor, he would obey.
That’s simply the reality of life in this house.
(I wish I had someone who was just mine.)
I found myself thinking that. But that wasn’t something I could achieve solely as the Duchess.
Even the food I eat is funded by the Ducal family’s fortune. Right now, I am completely dependent on the Avenius Ducal House.
(I’m certainly not going to just tolerate everything, though.)
I want money. I need to figure out how to earn a living in this country.
I looked down at my hands.
In the original story, Erica’s cookies were exquisite and had captivated countless characters.
I can probably bake those same cookies now.
(But Kevin doesn’t even like sweets, so winning him over with cookies is out.)
In the original, he always ate the cookies Erica gave him with a stony face. Sometimes he’d even steal the ones meant for the male servants. Erica mistook this for a sweet tooth and kept plying him with treats. Then I remembered the backstory: he actually hated sweets and only ate them because they were homemade by Erica, and he wanted to keep them all to himself.
“…Ugh, I feel sick to my stomach.”
“Pardon?”
Holger questioned my involuntary murmur. Thank goodness I spoke quietly.
Exquisite cookies would be a decent weapon, I supposed. But it wouldn’t be enough.
“I’ll be in the library now. If you need me for anything, you can find me there.”
“Yes, certainly, Your Grace.”
Holger nodded at my instruction. I was genuinely relieved I could read and write.
I’ve loved books since my past life. As my illness got worse, the small print became difficult, and I was reduced to reading comics and picture books, but I remained a bookworm until the very end.
Books are both entertainment and a teacher, giving me knowledge I don’t possess.
After having a proper meal at the Ducal House, I realized my table manners were better than expected.
When I was little, the Count had somehow arranged for me to receive education several times when the Countess and my half-sister, Rosa, weren’t around. Reading, writing, etiquette lessons, and noble greetings. My body remembered them.
But those lessons abruptly stopped one day.
And shortly after, the abuse from my half-sister and her mother worsened considerably.
He was likely providing those lessons to me in secret from his own wife and child. Regardless of what the original Erica may have thought, the current me absolutely does not mistake that for a father’s love.
(Regardless, I need to make use of the skills I have.)
The library held a massive number of books. I should be able to gain information about this era from them.
I was once again disappointed that I didn’t have the book on our family lineage with me.
Kevin must have taken it when he stole the whip. Since he went to such lengths, he probably didn’t just return it to the library.
(I wish I had checked Alva’s age and cause of death.)
I assumed Holger knew, but I didn’t want to risk asking and suffer the same fate as Lady Marvella.
I paused to think, then spoke.
“Holger, what sort of teaching style did Lady Marvella use back then?”
“Back then, Your Grace?”
“Yes. I hear there was a specific reason she started the kind of discriminatory teaching she uses now.”
The former Duchess, Lillie, felt pity for her, after all.
It’s possible she was a good tutor to Kevin and his younger brother, Alva. If she only changed after being unfairly saddled with blame, I would feel sorry for her. Though I have zero intention of suggesting she be rehired.
Holger thought for a moment, then spoke in a slightly lower voice.
“Her standard for judgement back then was academic performance. Praising the one with better marks was fine, but…”
“…she completely tore down the self-esteem of the other one.”
When I finished his sentence, Holger confirmed it.
This meant that, even with a different standard, Lady Marvella was always creating a hierarchy between the brothers.
Her dismissal back then was perfectly justified. Where on earth was the pitiable element?
(To hire her back… I don’t know what kind of woman Lillie was, but that was incredibly irresponsible.)
Lillie, who hired an unsuitable tutor for her son out of misplaced sympathy for Lady Marvella.
And Kevin, who remained completely indifferent to what happened between the tutor and his sons afterward.
Kevin is probably the type who, if told to “watch the fire,” would literally only watch the flames, doing nothing even if the pot boiled over or thick smoke started billowing out.
(I pity Lillie for dying and leaving a child, but I seriously doubt either she or Kevin were cut out to be parents.)
I sighed and continued walking down the long corridor.