I Would Like To Live A Different Life If I Could Go Back In Time - Episode 2

I was put to sleep by Dr. Paron, and when I woke up, it was night.

The night is dark and scary.

I can’t help but remember that damp, earthy, moldy smell.

Scary, scary.

It seems that Eme was by my side, worried about me being scared.

“Emme! Emme! I’m scared. I’m scared. I hate the dark!”

And then, hugging Eme, my consciousness fades away again.

I think this small body can’t withstand such overwhelming fear.

How easy it would be if I could lose my memory at the same time I lose consciousness.

Even after that, unpleasant memories would suddenly come to mind, and as a child, I could only cry and scream.

At first, my parents were worried, but as this situation dragged on for several days, they started to treat me like a leper, with a sense of exasperation, and eventually told me, “Everyone is scared and troubled, so don’t come out of your room.”

I’m getting fed up with myself for being unable to do anything about it.

I don’t want to go through such a painful experience either.

“Paron, sensei. I don’t want to live anymore. I don’t want to be here. No one is helping me.”

I cry and tell Dr. Paron, who came to check on me after a long time.

“……I see. Why do you think so?”

“I don’t want to. I can’t say it. Because no one will help me.”

“It’s okay, talking about it might make you feel a little better.”

“Everyone is my enemy. I hate them.”

“Please, I want to know. Just you, teacher. I won’t tell anyone else.”

Dr. Paron speaks slowly to reassure me.

The teacher is not an enemy. I know the teacher is truly concerned about me.

But I don’t even know what to do myself.

But I understand that we can’t just keep going like this.

I speak while putting strength into my tightly clenched fist, having made up my mind.

“Alright, everyone except Eme, step back. You too, assistant over there.”

And so, leaving Eme behind, I chased the others out of the room. Eme is my important maid who has always been by my side.

I think that if it’s her, she will surely be okay even if she listens to my words.

In the past, when I was imprisoned, she resisted until the end, saying, “The young lady has done nothing wrong,” and was killed.

The only ones present here now are Dr. Paron, myself, and Eme standing behind me.

“Teacher, please sign this.”

I take a piece of paper from the drawer of my desk and hand over a magically written magical contract. A paper that says, “Do not leak any of the information I am about to share.”

It seems he was very surprised, not expecting that a little me would create a magic contract.

Dr. Paron agreed and signed the contract.

“Now then, why is it that three-year-old Yuria can create such a magical contract, and what is the reason for her suffering?”

“I died at the age of nineteen.”

While holding my trembling body with both hands, I gradually start to talk.

Dr. Paron seemed hard to convince at first, but it seemed he decided to believe her despite the content being far removed from what a three-year-old girl would typically say. He conveyed that the memory was evoking fear.

“Teacher, I don’t want to stay here. I’m going to be made the prince’s fiancée. That woman is setting me up. I don’t want to! I don’t want to! I don’t want to be tormented! I’m scared! Help me, teacher!”

As I talk, memories resurface, and I feel like I might scream in fear.

Then, after thinking for a moment, the teacher slowly speaks to me in a calming manner.

“Lady Yuria, it is possible to seal memories with magic, but if time was rewound with the intention of retaining those memories, sealing them would be unwise.”

You can’t cover up memories, but you can lighten the burden.

And now, the best remedy would be to distance yourself from the capital, which is the cause of your memories. However, would it be alright to diagnose it as a mental illness?

“…Sensei, I want to leave this royal capital as soon as possible. I don’t want to become His Highness’s fiancée.”

I’m going to be killed! I don’t care what kind of illness it is, every time I see the faces of my father and mother who so easily abandoned me back then, I remember!

“……Understood. Then I will write that in the medical certificate. To lighten the burden, we will also need the help of the maid over there, is that acceptable?”

Dr. Paron, saying this, takes out a medical certificate from his bag and starts filling it out.

Eme nodded vigorously, as if she were fully prepared.