If I Die, Will You Still Hate Me? - Chapter 7
No matter how much longer we drag this out, there’s no returning to the past…
The dinner was scheduled for Sunday afternoon at the restaurant they both loved most.
Ye Xun loved this restaurant because it was near the sea, and Jiang Xuzhou loved it because the food was light and simple.
Jiang Xuzhou finished work early. He paused for a moment while selecting a tie. His hand circled in the air before he settled on the tie Ye Xun had given him when they first met.
Ye Xun arrived right on time and walked into the private room, seeing the thin figure in the dark black suit with his back turned.
He sometimes had to admit that Jiang Xuzhou’s back view was very appealing, like a bare tree standing firm in a sky full of white snow, or like green bamboo basking in the summer sun. And at this moment, the glass window in front of Jiang Xuzhou framed a vast ocean, with waves crashing against the reef.
The scene felt like the ending of a movie.
Ye Xun was reluctant to end it.
“I’ve already ordered a few dishes. Do you want to add anything?” Jiang Xuzhou turned around and asked Ye Xun.
Ye Xun scrutinized Jiang Xuzhou from head to toe. Only after ensuring he seemed fine did he take his seat, then casually took the menu and called the waiter over.
He subconsciously ordered a few dishes Jiang Xuzhou liked, and asked the waiter to use less oil.
“No ginger,” Jiang Xuzhou added.
Ye Xun looked up at him, then closed the menu: “General Manager Jiang, recovering well, are we?”
Jiang Xuzhou paused, then curled his lips, habitually sitting on Ye Xun’s left: “Thank you, General Manager Ye. Otherwise…”
Ye Xun frowned, cutting off Jiang Xuzhou’s words with a light cough.
Jiang Xuzhou understood his meaning, turned his head, and quietly “Bah, bah, bahed” three times.
“You’re welcome,” Ye Xun looked directly at Jiang Xuzhou. “It was the least I could do.”
Jiang Xuzhou’s complexion was still alarmingly pale, making his eyes appear especially dark—which reminded Ye Xun of the reef he had just seen.
However, that brat Wu Yi really can’t keep a secret; he sold me out so quickly.
Jiang Xuzhou smiled as if he could read minds: “It has nothing to do with Wu Yi. He didn’t say anything.”
Oh, he’s worried I’d misunderstand Wu Yi, is he? Ye Xun thought.
He kept a straight face: “You don’t need to put on that official smile when you’re with me.”
Jiang Xuzhou dropped his smile. To be honest, having just recovered from a serious illness and working non-stop for two days, even smiling felt exhausting.
“General Manager Jiang, just get to the point,” Ye Xun said. “Otherwise, you wouldn’t be buying me dinner.”
Jiang Xuzhou didn’t beat around the bush: “Are you free the week after next? I want you to come back to Grandma’s house with me.”
Ye Xun raised an eyebrow, his surprise fleeting.
He couldn’t figure out why Jiang Xuzhou suddenly invited him to his grandmother’s house.
Could it be that after four years of breaking up, his grandmother still didn’t know?
If so, Jiang Xuzhou was truly capable of keeping a secret.
“Grandma wants to see you,” Jiang Xuzhou swallowed the next phrase: I want to see you too.
That final sentence felt too intentional; it wasn’t the right time yet.
Ye Xun checked his schedule and found that he genuinely didn’t have any very important commitments the week after next.
What a coincidence.
Moreover, this was likely a genuine invitation from Jiang Xuzhou’s grandmother. After all, Jiang Xuzhou wouldn’t joke about such things, so refusing felt inappropriate.
“What day and how are we getting there?” Ye Xun agreed.
“Monday. I’ll drive. We’ll stay for a week to keep the old lady company.” Jiang Xuzhou moved the recently served dishes closer to Ye Xun, urging him to eat first.
Ye Xun didn’t stand on ceremony, picking up a piece of chicken and putting it in his mouth.
Four years later, the food at this restaurant was still as good as ever.
Jiang Xuzhou didn’t have much of an appetite and took a sip of tea.
Ye Xun’s ears twitched. He knew Jiang Xuzhou most likely didn’t feel like eating again.
When they were together, Jiang Xuzhou’s stomach was unpredictable: two meals a day when it was good, one when it was bad. Sometimes, eating an apple counted as a meal.
Therefore, stomach pain was an everyday occurrence for Jiang Xuzhou.
“Eat a little, I don’t want to be sending General Manager Jiang to the hospital in the middle of the night again,” Ye Xun said.
He then asked the waiter for half a bowl of hot water, picked up the piece of chicken on Jiang Xuzhou’s chopsticks, rinsed it in the water, and placed it in Jiang Xuzhou’s bowl.
Based on Jiang Xuzhou’s old habits, there were only a few reasons he wouldn’t eat: too oily, too cold, or too hot.
Cold and hot were resolved the moment Ye Xun tasted the food. The only issue was the oiliness. But now, that was resolved too.
Jiang Xuzhou said: “Thank you.”
“Mhm. The least I could do,” Ye Xun replied.
Then came a long silence.
Ye Xun didn’t have the good habit of not speaking while eating; on the contrary, if someone was next to him during a meal, he always felt the need to say a few things.
Jiang Xuzhou was aware of this habit but didn’t know how to start a conversation.
They knew each other inside out, completely familiar with the other’s life for twenty-one years, except for the four years they were apart.
But how should they talk about those four years, and how should he bring it up?
Jiang Xuzhou deliberated for a long time in his mind but couldn’t think of a topic.
Ye Xun spoke first: “How did you know it was me?”
Jiang Xuzhou knew he was referring to the events of that night.
“Intuition,” Jiang Xuzhou said earnestly.
Ye Xun didn’t believe that answer. After all, a seasoned businessman like Jiang Xuzhou, relying solely on intuition, would have gone bankrupt sixty or seventy times over.
Jiang Xuzhou also saw Ye Xun’s disbelief: “Because with Wu Yi’s personality, he wouldn’t be so coy about accepting my thanks.”
He’s quite observant, actually, Ye Xun muttered internally.
“Besides, my chat history is never that clean,” Jiang Xuzhou skimmed the oil off his soup and said.
Ye Xun remembered that to save time, he had simply deleted all the chat history on Jiang Xuzhou’s phone.
I didn’t think that would be the giveaway.
“My apologies,” Ye Xun said, though he didn’t sound apologetic at all.
Jiang Xuzhou didn’t mind. He knew Ye Xun had boundaries and wouldn’t do anything too outrageous.
Ye Xun finished the food in his bowl and replaced half a bowl of clear water for Jiang Xuzhou.
Jiang Xuzhou ate a few more bites and put down his chopsticks.
Ye Xun stood up and put on his coat.
Jiang Xuzhou knew this meant the dinner, which had been devoid of conflict, was nearing its end, but he didn’t want it to be over.
“Shall we take a walk by the sea?” he proposed, trying to prolong their time together.
Ye Xun buttoned his coat: “General Manager Jiang, I’m not a child anymore.”
“Walking isn’t just for children,” Jiang Xuzhou said. “Consider it a way to aid digestion.”
Ye Xun looked at Jiang Xuzhou’s face, flushed red from the heat, and couldn’t help but recall his pale, unconscious face from the other day. The refusal caught in his throat, but he forcefully suppressed it.
Fine, just consider it accompanying Jiang Xuzhou for exercise, Ye Xun rationalized.
The wind by the sea was strong. Jiang Xuzhou’s suit couldn’t block the wind. His face, which had been flushed red by the heat, quickly returned to its usual paleness. The cold wind blowing on his forehead caused a faint ache, and his heart was starting to flutter. He quickened his pace, turning his back to Ye Xun and bending over.
Ye Xun lagged a few steps behind, watching the familiar figure swaying in the wind, like a fallen leaf blown by the breeze, or duckweed on the water.
He belatedly realized that Jiang Xuzhou had lost weight.
He knew Jiang Xuzhou must be very uncomfortable right now and didn’t want anyone to see him in distress. So he didn’t hurry, waiting patiently for Jiang Xuzhou to straighten up before walking over.
The two walked in silence but with an unspoken understanding along the seaside path, finally stopping in front of the villa at Linhai Residence.
Jiang Xuzhou let out a soft laugh that scattered in the wind: “We have such good synchronicity.”
Ye Xun glanced at him without answering.
Synchronicity my foot. I was clearly following him, Ye Xun scoffed internally.
However, since he was here, Ye Xun didn’t mind going inside to look around.
His way of saying goodbye to something was different from Jiang Xuzhou’s. The latter would pack away everything related to the subject, refusing to think about it or look at it until it was forgotten—that was his farewell. Ye Xun, however, forced himself to look, think, and engage with everything related to the matter until he developed immunity—that was his farewell.
Wait, does Jiang Xuzhou bringing me here mean…
He doesn’t want to give up this relationship?
Ye Xun frowned. He doubted his own deduction, but if that wasn’t the case, why would Jiang Xuzhou bring him back?
Why did he suddenly break up with him four years ago?
He decided to find a chance to ask Jiang Xuzhou properly.
Ye Xun stopped at the swing, brushing his hand across the surface. When he lifted his hand, he found only a thin layer of dust on his fingertips—someone had sat here.
He looked back at Jiang Xuzhou, who was standing not far away.
He understood this person less and less.
When the swing was built, he had invited Jiang Xuzhou countless times to sit on it with him, as the swing was custom-made for the weight and size of two people.
But Jiang Xuzhou had never sat on it once.
Why is he sitting on it now that I haven’t invited him?
Ye Xun sat on the swing, pushed back two steps with his feet, and the swing gently began to move.
The swing ropes creaked. The wind blew through his hair.
Ye Xun noticed his hair was getting long. He needed to get it cut in a few days.
He remembered when he first started dating Jiang Xuzhou, he had rushed out and gotten the trendiest haircut—barely longer than a buzz cut.
At the time, Jiang Xuzhou said he could indeed pull off any hairstyle, except for a bald head.
After that, he kept that hairstyle until Jiang Xuzhou broke up with him.
Later, he let his hair grow out, mainly because it was easier to style.
“I’ll push you,” Jiang Xuzhou said, standing beside Ye Xun.
Ye Xun stood up: “No need.”
Jiang Xuzhou’s extended hand fell back to his side. Ye Xun deliberately ignored his lonely expression.
Spring evenings in Mo City were still quite cool, especially when the wind picked up, it was even more noticeable.
Ye Xun remembered that his car was parked here and the keys were inside the house. This visit was the perfect chance to drive it back.
He checked his wristwatch and said: “It’s getting late. Let’s go back.”
“Just wait a little longer,” Jiang Xuzhou said.
Ye Xun sighed, a sense of helplessness in his tone: “Wait for what?”
What is there to wait for, Ye Xun thought. Besides, no matter how much longer we drag this out, there’s no way we’re rekindling anything.