I'll Raise Pigs to Support You - Chapter 33
Facing the silent gazes of the two, Shen Xizhi said nothing. She just silently, silently reddened her eyes.
That alone was enough to make Song Yugui flustered, wishing she could jump up to comfort her. “You… what’s wrong? Can’t you tell me?”
Shen Xizhi remained silent, continuing to vigorously pound the laundry.
Aunt Li quietly moved a little farther away, finally avoiding getting splashed in the face.
Ah, youth is so lively—even the smallest things can stir up such a fuss.
“Xizhi? Zhizhi?”
Song Yugui frowned, leaning her head in front of Shen Xizhi, only to be angrily shoved by the girl. She nearly lost her balance, but after pushing her, the girl reluctantly reached out to steady her, preventing her from falling.
Huh? What’s going on?
Confused, she looked at Aunt Li, who usually got along well with her wife, hoping for some insight.
Aunt Li didn’t want to meddle in the affairs of the young. Squabbles only deepened their bond, so she pretended not to notice.
Left with no choice, Song Yugui tugged at Shen Xizhi’s sleeve again.
When the other ignored her, she snatched the washing stick from Shen Xizhi’s hands. Seeing her small hands red from the cold, Song Yugui frowned. “Forget it, I don’t need your help. Go sit over there. I’ll do the washing.”
Shen Xizhi bit her lip tightly, reluctant to step aside. But after being stared at several times by Song Yugui’s utterly clueless expression, she finally gave in.
Her heart felt stifled. She had married Song Yugui not out of love, and her current gentleness was merely because she liked the change in her and wanted a better life for herself. So why should she care whom Song Yugui liked?
Yet…
Every time she thought about it, her heart ached unbearably.
Unbeknownst to her, her eyes had glistened with tears. Not wanting to be seen, she quickly lowered her head, her long lashes trembling to hide the emotions in her eyes.
Song Yugui knew her wife was upset. Huffing and puffing, she washed the clothes diligently, planning to take them home and coax her properly. Xizhi was thin-skinned—if she tried to comfort her here, she’d never forgive her.
There weren’t many clothes between the two of them, and Song Yugui finished quickly. Holding the basin, she turned to the person behind her. “Let’s go! We’re going home!”
Shen Xizhi didn’t say a word, silently following her.
As soon as they got home, Song Yugui set the basin down and strode toward her wife with a stern expression. Shen Xizhi’s eyes widened slightly, instinctively stepping back, only to be blocked by Song Yugui.
She leaned in, glaring at her with wide eyes.
The intensity of her stare was unnerving.
Shen Xizhi pressed her tender lips together. Seeing Song Yugui’s harshness, she felt wronged, her nose tingling with unshed tears, her lashes damp.
Song Yugui pinched the bridge of her nose, her tone exasperated as she voiced the question she’d been pondering the whole way back: “Are you angry because of the village beauty?”
There was nothing else. They’d been fine on the way back from town, but after washing clothes, she’d shut her out.
Thinking about it, anyone would be upset if they learned their spouse still carried a torch for someone else after marrying them.
But the problem was—she didn’t!
Shen Xizhi still refused to speak, her eyes slightly red, filled with endless resentment.
She hadn’t figured out how to talk to her yet. Her heart was unsettled.
When her little wife got angry, she became practically mute. Song Yugui had learned this the hard way.
Frustrated, she nearly tore her hair out, forced to explain on her own: “It’s a misunderstanding. You know whether I’ve been following her or not—we’re together every day.”
Was she supposed to take the blame just because the village beauty said so?
Was she some kind of fool?
The original owner might have been, but she wasn’t.
Shen Xizhi finally lifted her downcast eyes, sniffling, her voice hoarse. “You never used to go to the creek before.”
Song Yugui: ?
“Aunt Li took me there!”
She stepped closer, backing Shen Xizhi into a corner, forcing her to speak. The girl’s voice, usually clear and melodious like a mountain spring, now sounded muffled and dejected as she lowered her eyes again.
“You never went before. Only today, when Miss Song was there, did you go.”
It was too much of a coincidence. She couldn’t help but wonder—was what Miss Song said true?
Song Yugui was momentarily speechless, feeling utterly wronged. Her hands flailed helplessly. “No, it was a coincidence. Don’t you get it? Just a coincidence! How was I supposed to know she’d be there? I went specifically to find you!”
Wasn’t it obvious whom she’d gone to see?
Did that really need questioning?
Song Yugui looked utterly baffled.
Shen Xizhi recalled Song Xinyu’s words—that wherever she went, Song Yugui would show up too, always claiming she wasn’t following her…
Her heart felt like it was being squeezed, making it hard to breathe.
Could someone really lose interest in a person they’d been infatuated with in such a short time?
Before, she hadn’t thought too deeply about it. But now, the more she pondered, the more her heart ached, and she was on the verge of tears again…
Song Yugui was exasperated. “If the village beauty thinks I’m stalking her, fine—I did a lot of wrong things in the past. But you’re my wife. Are you really going to misunderstand me along with outsiders?”
Shen Xizhi’s urge to cry paused. She lifted her eyes, full of confusion. No—she hadn’t meant to misunderstand her.
Let alone side with outsiders against her.
The girl bit her lip guiltily, feeling the accusation was too severe. She hadn’t done that. It was just…
Her deer-like round, watery eyes widened slightly, unable to defend herself. Just moments ago, she had indeed believed Song Xinyu’s words.
But was it really a misunderstanding?
Seeing the conflict on her face, Song Yugui’s tone darkened. “You don’t trust me? Who else have I sought out besides you lately?”
Damn it all! She’d said she’d changed, so why wouldn’t anyone believe her?
Her harsh tone made the girl shrink back. But upon reflection, since the day Song Yugui stopped hitting and scolding her, no one in the village had come to demand justice anymore. Presumably, she’d stopped pestering the other women.
Yet Miss Song insisted Song Yugui had been stalking her, obsessing over her. She even claimed that to avoid Song Yugui, she hadn’t washed clothes by the creek in a long time. Only today, because the lower stream was occupied, had she been forced to come, guessing Song Yugui would show up too. She’d even defended Song Yugui…
And then, sure enough, she’d arrived.
Was she really here for me? Or was it because Miss Song was here?
Shen Xizhi felt wronged, though she didn’t know why. But… she just did.
“If even you, who’s with me day and night, don’t believe me…”
Seeing her wife still hesitating, Song Yugui was stunned. Her lips pressed into a thin line, and in the end, she just glared at Shen Xizhi and turned to leave, clearly angry.
Shen Xizhi had been doubtful, but the moment Song Yugui turned away in anger, her expression changed instantly. Instinctively, both hands reached out, gently grasping Song Yugui’s wrist with a light tug—just enough to make her stop.
Song Yugui didn’t look at her, her back turned, just like when Shen Xizhi was angry.
Panicked, Shen Xizhi bit her lip and shook her head in protest. “No… it’s not that I don’t trust you…”
“Then what? Suspecting my fidelity???”
Remembering how furious Shen Xizhi had been when her own chastity was questioned, Song Yugui deliberately threw the same accusation back. She glanced sidelong at her, watching as the girl’s delicate face paled, her doe eyes wide and teary, her tender lips bitten so hard she tasted bl00d.
With difficulty, Shen Xizhi said, “I didn’t.”
How could she possibly…
Her heart seemed to stop for a moment. Shen Xizhi clearly heard a voice say:
Yes, I am suspicious. You were so infatuated with the village beauty—how could you just stop liking her?
That… was her own voice.
The girl clenched her teeth, darkness flickering in her eyes.
What’s so great about her? She doesn’t listen to you, doesn’t like you. Why must you…
The inner monologue cut off abruptly. Shen Xizhi realized with horror that her earlier demeanor was no different from the jealous wives described in operas.
“You say you didn’t, but I—”
Before her indignant rant could finish, a pair of ice-cold hands suddenly covered her lips, silencing her. Shen Xizhi’s eyes were filled with extreme panic, as if she’d stumbled upon some terrible secret that would lead to her ruin.
Her lovely, lively eyes brimmed with tears, her voice trembling. “You… don’t speak!”
Song Yugui: …
Fine. I’m the one being misunderstood, I’m the one being scolded, and now I’m not allowed to speak? This household is unbearable!
And here I thought my wife grabbed my hand to apologize and sweetly coax me. Turns out it was just to shut me up!
Trembling with rage.
Song Yugui shook her off angrily and turned to leave. Shen Xizhi didn’t chase after her, still in disbelief. Her fingers curled slightly as she thought:
Have I… actually developed feelings for Song Yugui?
Love was the most destructive thing. From the day she married Song Yugui, she’d vowed never to give her heart to anyone to trample on.
But now… had she fallen for her?
Shen Xizhi’s eyes darkened. She’d thought she merely liked Song Yugui a lot—nothing to do with love. She’d assumed that if anyone treated her this well, she’d like them just the same.
But the reality was, she couldn’t even imagine being married to anyone else…
Her gaze grew shadowed. If Song Yugui were still here, she’d probably have been frightened by the sight—this was no different from the gradually darkening villainess in the novel’s later chapters.
But Song Yugui wasn’t here, and she’d never seen this other side of her sweet, soft wife. She was still outside, fuming in the cold wind. After a long while, Shen Xizhi still hadn’t come out to find her!
She actually didn’t come looking!
Not only did Shen Xizhi not show up, but Song Yugui also ran into the male lead.
The male lead had just come down from the mountains, carrying a dead rabbit in the freezing cold, its bl00d dripping onto the ground.
Seeing Song Yugui, Song Xingchuan couldn’t pretend not to notice. Scratching his head, he walked over with a simple, honest expression. “Cousin.”
Hmph. In the past, Song Yugui might have maintained superficial politeness with the male lead. But today, already irritated, she waved him off impatiently when he approached. “Go away, get lost.”
Song Xingchuan: …
His face went slack, as if he couldn’t believe the disdain in his cousin’s eyes. He’d never provoked her—why…?
But Song Xingchuan, though good-natured, was also somewhat of a pushover. Not wanting to argue, he reluctantly lifted the rabbit in his hand, clearly unwilling. “I caught this in the mountains. Do you… want half?”
His offer was strained, his reluctance obvious.
Song Yugui wasn’t blind, and she certainly didn’t want anything from the male lead. Getting involved with him would ruin her peaceful life.
“Hmph, no. Go away. I want to be alone.”
Her anger was inexplicable, but Song Xingchuan wasn’t one to stir trouble. Seeing her refusal, he hurried off.
Song Yugui sighed. She’d thought transmigrating into this world had at least granted her a warm and gentle wife—an angelic girl who shared her bed.
But no!
She didn’t even trust her!
The village beauty’s few words had sown discord between them. Song Yugui couldn’t tolerate it.
After stewing in her anger outside for a long time, well past noon, she finally headed home. No matter how angry she was, she couldn’t just not return.
Where else would she sleep? The streets?
Song Yugui trudged home dejectedly, smoke already rising from the chimney.
Damn it. Shen Xizhi didn’t even think to come looking for me. Hmph, fine. I don’t care.
She carefully arranged her expression outside, even checking her reflection in the well to ensure she looked properly gloomy and intimidating before marching inside.
In the main room, Shen Xizhi was cooking, an apron tied around her slender waist, her demeanor gentle and virtuous at first glance.
But the still-fuming Song Yugui mentally crossed out “virtuous.”
Infuriating. It was all for show!
Deliberately cold, she was ignored. Instead, Shen Xizhi smiled softly at her. “You’re back. I made noodle soup for lunch. It’ll be ready soon.”
Song Yugui: ?
Why is she talking to me like nothing happened?
Is the morning’s incident just… over?
Just like that?
How?!
Song Yugui, now genuinely upset, sat with her back to Shen Xizhi. If earlier she’d just been throwing a small tantrum, now she was truly displeased.
Others doubted her, and now the one person she’d wholeheartedly trusted—the story’s villainess—doubted her too, silenced her, and now expected to sweep it all under the rug without a word. She wouldn’t stand for it!
Seeing Song Yugui’s refusal to engage, Shen Xizhi’s eyes darkened.
She’s never been this angry before… and it’s all because of Song Xinyu.
The door to her heart, barely cracked open, now let in a chilling wind, freezing her pale face.
In that moment, Shen Xizhi forgot she was the one who’d distrusted Song Yugui first, sparking her anger. Resentment filled her, yet her lips still curved into a faint smile as she removed the fire from the stove and walked slowly toward Song Yugui.
A delicate, pale hand rested on Song Yugui’s shoulder. “Why are you upset?”
Her voice was gentle, yet it sent an inexplicable shiver down Song Yugui’s spine.
She straightened bit by bit, turning to look. Shen Xizhi tilted her head, smiling sweetly, her eyes curved into crescents.
Oh. Must have been her imagination.
Hmph. Remembering the morning’s events, Song Yugui’s anger flared again.
“You don’t know why I’m upset?!”
Song Yugui was seething, her tone laced with suppressed fury.
Shen Xizhi seemed to have an epiphany. “You’re angry with me because of Miss Song?”
…
Well, yes, but why did it sound so wrong coming from Shen Xizhi’s mouth?
“Ye—?”
She wasn’t sure, hesitating. But the moment the word left her lips, Shen Xizhi’s expression darkened, startling her.
Yet the next second, Shen Xizhi smoothed her features, her gaze soft as water, as if the previous moment had been an illusion.
“Song Yugui, am I really no match for the village beauty?”
Song Yugui was baffled.
Did we ever discuss this?
She shook her head blankly, then frowned. “I never said you weren’t. What nonsense are you spouting? Let me ask you—do you still think I like the village beauty and have been pestering her?”
That was the real issue. What was Shen Xizhi going on about?
The girl’s misty eyes gazed at her, pitiful and fragile. Her lips pressed together before she spoke, but her question was:
If I say no, will it change anything?
Song Yugui: …
Exhausted. “Keep this up, and I’ll ignore you.”
She frowned, sensing something off about the villainess’s mood—a deep undercurrent of sorrow.
Wait, why was she sorrowful? I’m the one who was misunderstood. I’m the one who should be sad!
Hearing Song Yugui’s anger, Shen Xizhi forced a smile, then closed her eyes briefly. When she reopened them, she stopped speaking nonsense.
“Alright, I was just teasing. Of course I believe you. If you say you don’t like her anymore, then you don’t. The noodles are ready. Let me serve you a bowl, okay?”
Her voice was tender to the extreme, her expression gentle.
But… it didn’t sound sincere at all!
Like she was humoring her!
Song Yugui was livid. “I’ve said it a million times—I don’t like her anymore. Haven’t bothered her in two months. Can’t you see that?”
Shen Xizhi paused while scooping the noodles. After a long moment, she replied softly, “But Miss Song seems so confident.”
Song Yugui’s eyes widened in disbelief. What, her confidence meant she must have given her the wrong idea?
Ridiculous!
“What does her confidence have to do with me? Shen Xizhi, don’t be unreas—”
She was about to call the villainess unreasonable when Shen Xizhi glanced back at her, then quickly turned away. The flash of red-rimmed eyes might have been a trick of the light.
Song Yugui frowned, striding over and pulling Shen Xizhi into her arms. Seeing her actually crying, anger surged again. “Wait, why are you crying?”
Shouldn’t I be the one crying?
Shen Xizhi’s rabbit-like red eyes peeked at her timidly before she lowered her head, her voice hoarse and soft. “I… cry easily.”
She seemed deeply aggrieved, though she didn’t know why. Maybe it was because her beloved had once loved someone else. Or maybe because love was just this bitter.
It made her want to cry uncontrollably.
She knew Song Yugui treated her well but didn’t love her—not a shred of romance between them. Otherwise, why had they never been intimate since their marriage?
The only exception was last night…
What was wrong with her?
The more Shen Xizhi thought about it, the more wronged she felt, her tears flowing freely.
Lost in her heartbreak, her chest ached fiercely.
Song Yugui clenched her fists, itching to scold her but afraid of making her cry harder. In the end, she held back, roughly wiping the tears from Shen Xizhi’s cheeks, her tone exasperated.
“I’m the one who was misunderstood, yet you’re crying. Anyone would think I’ve wronged you terribly. Stop it. No more tears.”
She wiped while trying to silence her, but Shen Xizhi couldn’t help it. The more Song Yugui pretended to be stern yet flustered, the more she wanted to cry.
She couldn’t control herself, couldn’t pull away, couldn’t help but love her.
Song Yugui was kind, always thinking of her, buying her pastries no one else had. Even in threadbare clothes, she insisted on buying her new ones.
So good…
Why couldn’t such a person love her back?
If only Song Yugui loved her too. If only she didn’t like the village beauty.
Shen Xizhi told herself it was fine. She was Song Yugui’s wife now—she’d grow to love her in time.
Yet the thought of Song Yugui having loved someone else tore at her heart. She’d never known she could be so petty.
She couldn’t stand even a hint of divided affection from her beloved.
Her possessiveness was so strong she wanted to lock Song Yugui away, never letting her near the village beauty again.
She doesn’t even like you, said such awful things about you today, even told me to divorce you! Can’t you just ignore her?
Please?
Shen Xizhi was frantic but didn’t dare speak aloud. What if Song Yugui hated being controlled? What if she preferred the village beauty?
Song Yugui was at her wit’s end. She’d expected Shen Xizhi to apologize and coax her, but now it was clear that wouldn’t happen.
Not only would there be no apology, but Shen Xizhi kept sniffling and shedding pearls of tears. Song Yugui sighed deeply. “Fine, I’m wrong, okay? Please, stop crying. Your tears are about to flood the house. Let’s just eat and drop this, alright?”
If only she’d taken them out when Shen Xizhi pretended nothing was wrong earlier. Instead, she’d stoked the flames, and now—before she could even scold her—Shen Xizhi was crying buckets.
“Stop crying. You’re making me not want to live anymore.”
Song Yugui looked up blankly, dead inside.
Shen Xizhi, mid-sob, covered her mouth in alarm. “D-don’t say such things.”
She didn’t want her to die.
“Then stop crying.”
Song Yugui: expressionlessjpg.
Shen Xizhi’s red, swollen eyes lifted to hers. She bit her plush lips, then suddenly leaned in, wrapping her arms around Song Yugui’s waist and burying her face in her chest—before continuing to weep softly.
Song Yugui: …
What did I even say to warrant this?!