I'll Wait for You in the Future - Chapter 10: The Secrets of Youth

Youth has many secrets,
but parental secrets are what truly
trouble us!

“Thank you for letting me see a true you,
and letting me feel a true me.”

“Teacher Hao, there’s a phone call for you,” Miss Yang whispered to Hao Huigui in the hallway.

Who would call me during class? Picking up the phone, it was Hao Tiemei’s voice, urgent: “Teacher Hao, Dazhi’s grandfather’s health has been deteriorating; the hospital just called, asking me to go immediately. I might not be able to go home tonight; please take care of Dazhi.”

Receiving the call, Hao Huigui immediately recalled that when he was 17, his grandfather had been critically ill, and his mother hadn’t told him, so he’d missed seeing his grandfather one last time. As a child, his grandfather had always played with him, taught him to read, taken him hiking, and given him pocket money. After his grandmother passed away, the family had wanted to bring his grandfather to Hunan, but he’d preferred staying in the countryside, where his grandmother had lived.

By then, his grandfather’s condition had worsened. Hao Huigui naturally hoped Liu Dazhi could see his grandfather one last time, but he didn’t know how to tell Hao Tiemei. He couldn’t just tell her his grandfather was dying, right? Hao Huigui immediately made a decision; he asked Miss Yang to take Liu Dazhi out for dinner, then rushed to the bus station to go to his grandfather’s house.

His grandfather’s house was 300 kilometers from Hunan. Sitting on the bus, Hao Huigui carefully observed the familiar scenery—a tunnel, endless mountains, intermittently visible rivers—he would never forget these. He’d always resented his mother for not letting him see his grandfather one last time; he’d heard his grandfather had been calling his name before he passed. From then on, every time Hao Huigui visited his grandfather’s grave, he’d talk to him for a long time, afraid his grandfather would forget him after he was gone.

Lost in thought, Hao Huigui’s face was wet with tears. Through the small window on the intensive care unit door, he saw Hao Tiemei sitting inside, holding his grandfather’s hand. His grandfather’s nose had an oxygen tube, and his hand had an IV drip. His grandfather seemed to be struggling to say something to Hao Tiemei. Hao Tiemei leaned closer, her ear to his grandfather’s mouth, nodding repeatedly.

Hao Tiemei stood up and walked towards the door, presumably to find a nurse. Hao Huigui quickly turned and hid around the corner. Hao Tiemei came out, spoke to a nurse at the medical office for a while, then went downstairs with the nurse. Hao Huigui slipped into the room. The room was filled with a strong smell of disinfectant, but Hao Huigui could still smell his grandfather’s scent—a scent he would never forget, no matter how much time passed. His grandfather was terribly thin, lying there looking pitiful. Hao Huigui stood by the bed, looking at his grandfather, feeling like he’d gone back to childhood. He couldn’t help but reach out and touch his grandfather’s face, then his earlobe. As a child, Hao Huigui had loved touching his grandfather’s earlobes—thick and large. His grandfather used to say he was Maitreya Buddha [弥勒佛 (Mile Fo)], and his large earlobes would protect Hao Huigui.

Now, Maitreya Buddha’s earlobes were shrunken, small, and dry, just like his grandfather’s face.

His grandfather seemed to wake up, slightly opening his eyes, seeing someone by the bed, struggling to open his mouth, softly asking, “Who are you?” Hao Huigui tightly held his grandfather’s hand, tears streaming down his face. He leaned forward, close to his grandfather’s ear, softly saying, “Grandpa, it’s Dazhi, it’s Dazhi.”

His grandfather struggled to lift his eyes, a hint of a smile on his face: “Dazhi ah, Dazhi, you came ah, Grandpa misses you, you’ve grown so tall ah.”

Hao Huigui tightly held his grandfather’s hand, burying his head in his grandfather’s blanket, not daring to make a sound, desperately inhaling the scent of the blanket.

“Dazhi ah, don’t cry, you must be good, Grandpa is Maitreya Buddha, no matter where I am, I’ll always be watching you ah.” His grandfather struggled to finish this sentence, seeming relieved. Suddenly, the heart monitor started speeding up, and the emergency alarm in the ward sounded. Hao Huigui held his grandfather’s hand, unwilling to let go. He knew that once he let go, he’d never see his grandfather again, but he had to. With tears in his eyes, Hao Huigui stepped back two steps, knelt before the bed, and kowtowed three times.

One kowtow for 17-year-old Hao Huigui, who hadn’t been able to say goodbye to his grandfather.
One kowtow for Liu Dazhi, who hadn’t been able to come today.
One kowtow for himself.

Standing up, Hao Huigui wiped his tears with his sleeve and left the ward, sitting on a long chair far away in the corridor. Hao Tiemei and the nurse ran back. Medical personnel rushed into the ward with equipment. Hao Huigui seemed to hear his grandfather’s rapid heartbeat. The heart monitor’s frequency slowed, slowed, slowed, finally becoming a long “beep”—a very long, very long beep, lasting a very, very long time.

Hao Huigui sat on a long chair far from the ward.
Hao Tiemei sat on a stool by his grandfather’s bed.

Hao Tiemei hadn’t expected her father to leave so suddenly, without any warning. She gently placed her father’s hand on the bed, tidied his hair and clothes, then took a deep breath, stood up, and told the doctor and nurses they could start processing the after-death procedures.

For the next few hours, Hao Tiemei was busy. Hao Huigui saw many relatives and family colleagues in the corner. Hao Tiemei naturally greeted, bowed, and hugged, thanking everyone who came to the hospital. Hao Huigui watched from afar, feeling heartbroken. He’d resented his mother for not telling him about his grandfather’s critical condition, but he hadn’t considered that he’d lost his grandfather, while his mother had lost her father. Four or five hours passed; everyone who should come had come, and everyone who should leave had left. Hao Tiemei walked to the long chair outside the ward, slowly bending down, her head lowered, leaning against it. Her body seemed to have shed a heavy burden, as if a tendon had been severed.

Lowering her head, Hao Tiemei saw a pair of feet suddenly appear before her. Just as she was bracing herself to continue thanking the visitors, she looked up and saw Liu Jianguo standing before her. He stood before Hao Tiemei, his face anxious, clearly having just arrived.

“Why did you come?” Hao Tiemei managed to say after a long pause.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Liu Jianguo asked back. Hao Tiemei didn’t know how to answer; perhaps she thought that since she and Liu Jianguo had divorced, she couldn’t bring herself to tell him.

Before Hao Tiemei could answer, Liu Jianguo softly said, “This is your father…”

Hearing this, Hao Tiemei’s tears flowed uncontrollably, suddenly bursting into loud sobs. At that moment, Hao Tiemei, standing before Liu Jianguo, was like a helpless, lost, sad, lonely little girl, a mixture of emotions overwhelming her. The entire corridor echoed with Hao Tiemei’s cries. Liu Jianguo reached out, tightly hugging Hao Tiemei, patting her back.

“Don’t cry, I’m here, I’m here.”

Hearing his mother’s cries, Hao Huigui, sitting on the long chair far away, couldn’t help but cry again.

He’d always thought his strong mother wasn’t actually strong. She just didn’t want others to see her sadness, didn’t want others to see her panic. She always gave the impression of being composed, understanding everything, but she also had her vulnerabilities.

Perhaps, a woman’s vulnerability is what makes you understand why she needs to be strong.

Hao Huigui had always thought his parents’ relationship was terrible, but today, he understood—his father was still the pillar of the family, and his seemingly strong mother was just a little girl before her father.

After Hao Tiemei’s emotions calmed down, Liu Jianguo ran around alone, handling his father-in-law’s after-death affairs. Hao Huigui watched his father handle everything, then sit beside his mother. His mother leaned against his father’s shoulder and fell asleep.

Leaning against the seat of the last bus back to Hunan, Hao Huigui’s feelings were indescribable. He suddenly felt his name might not have been randomly chosen by his mother; “回归” (huigui) – return. He was grateful for this return, allowing him to see and feel so much.

These things couldn’t be exchanged for any wealth; this was true wealth.

“I know you love me, and I know you love me too much,
so many words are stuck in my heart, unsure how to say them.”

Chen Cheng was in love and brought her husband home, saying they’d marry after two weeks. Her husband was French. This news spread quickly through the small town of Hunan.

Chen Tong rushed home with Liu Dazhi and the others to meet his French brother-in-law. The brother-in-law was tall and strong, with thick eyebrows and big eyes, resembling a movie pilot. Chen Zhijun, a police officer, stood beside his French son-in-law, only reaching his shoulder.

“Chen Tong, what’s wrong with your dad?” Liu Dazhi asked. He’d sensed the awkward atmosphere in the room. Chen Zhijun’s face was gloomy. Relatives and friends arrived one after another, but his expression remained unchanged.

“My dad also just found out today.”

“Ah? Your parents hadn’t met the foreign son-in-law before?” everyone exclaimed in surprise.

“Mm. My sister said there was no need to meet; whether her parents liked him or not, she was going to marry him, so it was better not to meet, just go home and get married.” Chen Tong said this with a hint of pride. “Your sister’s so amazing; if I didn’t show my mom my boyfriend, she’d definitely kill me.” Dingdang was incredibly admiring. “No wonder…” Weixiao said thoughtfully.

After a while, Chen Zhijun went outside and smoked several cigarettes.

Liu Dazhi and the others glanced at the foreigner and quickly left.

“I think your family’s in trouble…” Liu Dazhi said worriedly.

“It’s fine; now my parents won’t focus all their attention on me.”

Chen Tong made his own decision to study liberal arts, while Chen Cheng made her own decision about who she’d spend the rest of her life with.

No matter Chen Zhijun’s reaction, the wedding still went ahead. Chen Cheng’s bridesmaids were Weixiao and Dingdang; the groomsmen were Chen Tong and Liu Dazhi. Seeing the four of them dressed so nicely, Chen Xiaowu couldn’t help but touch Dingdang’s bridesmaid dress. Dingdang “slap!” hit Chen Xiaowu’s hand: “Don’t get it dirty; I’m saving it for my wedding.”

“You’ll wear a wedding dress at your wedding; why would you wear this?” Chen Xiaowu said with a grin.

“I’ll wear whatever I want at my wedding; even armor, it’s none of your business. Don’t get it dirty!”

Chen Tong, in a suit, was incredibly handsome, like a newly debuted Hong Kong or Taiwan pop star. Liu Dazhi, wearing a shirt and tie, felt incredibly uncomfortable. Chen Cheng praised him.

Weixiao wore a pink bridesmaid dress. The four of them stood before Chen Cheng.

“Come, everyone closer, I’ll take a photo,” Chen Cheng said, holding her camera. Originally, the order was supposed to be Liu Dazhi, Chen Tong, Weixiao, Dingdang. Liu Dazhi found a way to switch places with Chen Tong. Liu Dazhi secretly told himself this was his and Weixiao’s wedding; Chen Tong was the groomsman, and Dingdang was the bridesmaid. Chen Zhijun hadn’t arrived yet; Chen Tong’s mother was anxious: “Your dad said he’s coming soon, coming soon, the ceremony’s about to start, and he’s still not here. Chen Tong, quickly go find your dad.”

Chen Tong had just reached the hall when he saw his father coming out of the hotel restroom, looking flustered.

“Dad, the ceremony’s about to start; why haven’t you changed clothes?”

“Oh, oh, oh, okay.” Chen Tong’s father seemed completely out of it. Since his daughter brought her husband home, his mood had been low and unnatural.

Chen Tong said to his father, “Dad, today’s my sister’s big day; if you’re unhappy, let’s talk about it later. Otherwise, my sister will be sad, thinking we don’t support her.”

Chen Tong’s father, still looking dazed, nodded, showing no joy. Everything was ready; the emcee came on stage. The French groom was incredibly nervous, sweating profusely, turning to Chen Tong and Liu Dazhi in broken Chinese, “I forgot what I’m supposed to say.”

“Brother-in-law, just say whatever comes to mind; even if you don’t say it well, my sister will still marry you.”

“Right, brother-in-law, everyone’s nervous at their first wedding; it’ll be fine next time.”

Liu Dazhi continued, echoing Chen Tong’s words.

The lights dimmed. Chen Zhijun, hand in hand with Chen Cheng, walked towards the groom, the distance between them shrinking with each step. It was a strange feeling—in such a noisy environment, with so many people, everything suddenly fell silent, as if everyone was watching one heart approach another. Liu Dazhi’s heart pounded in his chest. In the soft light, Chen Cheng’s smile, seen from behind, was so serene, so sweet.

All eyes were on Chen Zhijun. Before he even spoke, many guests began to weep softly. It’s undeniable; the most moving part of a wedding is always the moment the father gives his daughter away.

Dingdang, tears streaming down her face, whispered to Weixiao, “I want to get married too. I wonder what my dad would say.”

Weixiao’s eyes also welled up. She patted Dingdang’s hand, “Me too.”

Liu Dazhi’s eyes were also misty. “I want to get married too. Xiaowu, why are you crying? Who are you going to marry?”

Chen Xiaowu wiped his tears, “I don’t want to get married. I’m thinking about what I’d say if my daughter got married.”

Liu Dazhi choked back a sob, “No one’s marrying you; who’s going to have a daughter with you…?”

“Shh, listen to what Chen Tong’s dad is saying.”

Everyone leaned forward, eager to hear Chen Zhijun’s words. Gently placing Chen Cheng’s hand in the groom’s, he paused, then waved his hand, “Alright everyone, eat and drink well today.” Before he could finish, he turned and left the stage.

An awkward silence descended. Everyone froze. The emcee quickly interjected, “Let’s applaud for the happy couple!” Everyone clapped with all their might, as if trying to hide their embarrassment. The French groom, oblivious, beamed with joy. Chen Cheng forced a smile, embracing her husband. Liu Dazhi glanced at Chen Tong, whose face was grimmer than he’d ever seen.

Leaving the stage, Chen Cheng rushed into the bridal suite, slamming the door shut, refusing to see anyone.

From outside, Chen Tong and the others heard her weeping.

Chen Tong understood his sister’s sadness. Since childhood, he and Chen Cheng had been under their father’s strict control, their lives meticulously planned. They’d lived up to expectations, always excelling, pleasing their parents. Especially Chen Cheng; she’d gone to university, then to Hong Kong. Finally, she had her own family, but the journey had been arduous. She’d wanted to hear her father say something—anything—something heartfelt, something from the heart. For so many years, communication between them had been minimal. Missing this moment might mean they’d never have another chance to truly see each other, to reveal their truest selves. But he also understood his father’s outburst; he himself was still at odds with his father, and now his sister had brought her husband into the fray, as if overnight, both siblings had defied their father. All the accumulated tension had finally exploded.

Chen Tong’s mother rushed out of the banquet hall, “Quickly get your sister to change clothes; she needs to toast the guests. Your father’s disappeared; we’ll deal with him later. Everyone’s waiting!” Chen Tong used a spare key to open the bridal suite, revealing Chen Cheng, her makeup smeared with tears.

Even the most accomplished woman is still a woman.

Liu Dazhi and Chen Xiaowu were chatting happily at their table when Chen Xiaowu’s father appeared at the banquet hall entrance, scanning the room for Chen Xiaowu.

“Your dad!” Liu Dazhi exclaimed.

Chen Xiaowu followed Liu Dazhi’s gaze; his father, dressed in his market attire, stood angrily at the entrance. Damn it, he’d forgotten about his shift. He’d told his father he’d be back quickly after Chen Tong’s sister’s wedding, but he’d gotten caught up in the festivities.

Chen Xiaowu hurried to apologize to his father. Seeing the situation escalate, Liu Dazhi quickly sought out Hao Huigui for help. Everyone watched, making Chen Xiaowu feel incredibly awkward.

“Chen Xiaowu, what did you tell your father?”

“Dad, I’m sorry, I was wrong.”

“I won’t say much. I paid your tuition so you could study, not eat at fancy banquets! Last time your teacher praised you, saying you’d improved, but I see no improvement. You’re expelled tomorrow!”

“Uncle Chen, you’re here too.” Liu Dazhi approached, gesturing to Chen Xiaowu.

“Ah, Teacher Hao, hello. This kid’s always lying; he said he’d be back in twenty minutes, but it’s been two hours. And to Xiaowu,” he turned to his son, “If you don’t work hard, you’ll never be able to afford banquets like this.” Hao Huigui thought, perhaps Chen Shihui had always felt Chen Xiaowu would never be able to afford a banquet like this, so he’d held a 100-table banquet for his daughter’s 100-day celebration—perhaps just to prove a point. “Teacher, I’ve thought about it; a high school diploma is useless for him. We’re really short-handed at home; we can’t even handle the hundreds of kilograms of soybeans.” Chen Shihui was straightforward; no matter how much the teacher praised his son, selling the soybeans was his biggest concern.

“Uncle Chen, how about this? Since you’re taking Xiaowu home to sell bean sprouts anyway, why not give him a chance to sell 100 kilograms of soybeans first?”

Not only Chen Shihui but Chen Xiaowu was also surprised.

“Huh?” What did Teacher Hao mean? Chen Shihui didn’t understand either; how could Chen Xiaowu possibly sell 100 kilograms of soybeans? Seeing Chen Shihui hesitate, Hao Huigui turned to Chen Xiaowu, “Your family’s having trouble; sell 100 kilograms of soybeans.”

“Teacher Hao, do you know how many kilograms of bean sprouts 100 kilograms of soybeans can produce…?” Chen Xiaowu felt Teacher Hao was clueless about their business.

“One kilogram of soybeans produces twelve kilograms of bean sprouts; 100 kilograms produces 1200 kilograms. Don’t add any growth agents; I mean, sell 1200 kilograms of bean sprouts. Understand?” Hao Huigui thought, *I’m your best friend; I’ve helped your family sell bean sprouts for over a decade; don’t you think I know how many bean sprouts 100 kilograms of soybeans can produce?*

“Teacher Hao, I didn’t expect you to know so much about our business.” Chen Shihui was impressed.

Chen Xiaowu was stunned. This Teacher Hao understood things he didn’t, things he did understand, and even things he wanted to hide… His feelings for Teacher Hao shifted from fear to awe, then gratitude, and now, reverence.

“Then… how do I do it? I can’t handle so much.” Chen Xiaowu panicked; how could he possibly sell so much?

“Didn’t you get a fake mom to come to school for Liu Dazhi? Now it’s Liu Dazhi’s turn to help you.” Hao Huigui glared at Chen Xiaowu. Liu Dazhi snickered from behind; Chen Xiaowu felt embarrassed. Hearing that his son had done something so absurd, Chen Shihui raised his hand to slap Chen Xiaowu. Hao Huigui quickly grabbed Chen Shihui’s arm, “It’s okay, Uncle Chen, just wait for Xiaowu to sell the 100 kilograms of soybeans.”

Meanwhile, Chen Zhijun left the stage after a single sentence. Chen Cheng was heartbroken. Chen Tong felt stifled and decided to confront his father, to finally understand his dissatisfaction. He searched the entire banquet hall but couldn’t find his father. He went to the restroom, hearing muffled sobs from inside. He recognized the sound and knocked, “Dad, is that you?”

Chen Zhijun emerged, his eyes red.

“Dad, what’s wrong?” Chen Tong had never seen his father like this.

Seeing the small stack of papers in his father’s hand, Chen Tong reached for them, unfolding the three pages filled with dense writing.

Cheng’er:

I never thought I’d talk to you this way. I’m afraid I won’t be able to say this in person, so I’m writing it down. Please forgive me.

…………

You must have noticed my strange behavior since you brought your boyfriend home. I find my own attitude strange too, but I can’t change it.

I’ve worried about this day since you were born. And now, it’s here. What should I say? I guess I should say this to myself first.

My daughter is the most excellent girl in the world. Dad thinks no one is good enough for you. When you were little, you asked if you were the prettiest girl in the world. I was afraid you’d become arrogant, so I told you that a girl’s most important asset isn’t her appearance. But actually, Dad wants to tell you, you are the prettiest.

Dad regrets:

Regretting not letting you wear dresses more often.
Regretting letting you cut your hair short.
Regretting buying you one less ice cream on Children’s Day.
Dad regrets pushing you to get into a key university.
Actually, if you hadn’t gone to university, staying by Dad’s side would have been so much better.
Dad regrets that work took up so much time, leaving little time to be with you.
During holidays, when you couldn’t come home, Dad told you on the phone to take care of yourself. That’s what Dad regrets most.
Regretting not telling you that even if the journey was hard, you should come home.
Regretting telling you that we were fine.
Actually, every day you were away, we missed you terribly, but we had to convince ourselves that this was your path to growth.
I want to thank you for leaving Dad with so many beautiful memories. Do you remember? When Dad was injured on his first police call, your mother and Tong cried their eyes out, but only you held back your tears, taking the bandages to dress Dad’s wounds. From that moment, Dad knew you were a strong girl.
…………
So all these years, you never complained to the family about how hard it was, you never said how tired you were from studying, you even said you were getting married, not letting us meet your boyfriend, saying whether we liked him or not, you liked him, whether we approved or not, you were going to marry him. Once you decide to do something, you’ll do it wholeheartedly; once you decide to love someone, you’ll love them unconditionally.
…………
No matter what, I hope you’ll always be a pure girl, chasing after what you want, not afraid of getting hurt. Just standing there, you have strength. When you smile, any difficulty becomes insignificant. I will always love you, as if you never married.
Dad

Tears welled up in Chen Tong’s eyes. His father wasn’t angry about his sister’s secret marriage; he was afraid of losing her. He folded the letter carefully, putting it in his pocket, taking a deep breath, and smiling, “Dad, this is well-written. Want me to polish it?”

“You think you’re so great just because you study liberal arts?”

Chen Tong didn’t react immediately. Chen Zhijun patted his shoulder, “Let’s go toast the guests.”

Chen Tong nodded, following behind. A huge problem seemed to have vanished so easily.

In the banquet hall, Wang Daqian was excitedly telling Hao Tiemei about a government project he was about to take on; many neighbors crowded around to listen. Others chatted or drank. The banquet lasted over four hours. Only Chen Tong’s family and Liu Dazhi’s group remained. Chen Tong, slightly tipsy, happily ran onto the now-empty stage, “Welcome the bride, groom, bridesmaids, groomsmen, and the bride’s parents!”

Chen Cheng looked puzzled.

“Now, let’s invite my father, Chen Zhijun!” Chen Tong continued.

Chen Zhijun, his face flushed, walked onto the stage, cleared his throat, unfolded the letter, and began to read:

If time could bloom, this moment would be spring.
If time had a temperature, this moment would be summer.
If time were heavy, this moment would be autumn.
If time had a color, this winter would be the pure white of happiness.

“We often mistake liking for love,
unaware that love’s complexity makes us unqualified to casually say ‘like.'”

Dingdang pushed open the door to her home; the living room was dark.

“How was it?” Hao Hongmei’s voice came from the balcony, where she stood in the moonlight, smoking a cigarette.

“What how was it? You didn’t want to go anyway.”

“Chen Cheng is really spoiled by her parents.”

“I think they’re quite happy. Two people truly in love, why should they care about others’ opinions?”

“What do you know about love? Liking each other is love?” Hao Hongmei extinguished her cigarette.

“Just like you and Dad?” Dingdang countered.

“What do you mean?”

“Just like you and Dad.”

“What’s wrong with me and your dad?” Hao Hongmei’s face changed.

“Aren’t you using Dad? He’s willing to support the family and earns money. He’s away twenty days a month, and you don’t care.”

“You!”

“You like Chen Tong’s father, yet you married my dad. After marrying Dad, you still think about Chen Zhijun…”

“Slap!” Dingdang received a slap.

“Shut your mouth!”

Dingdang, her face stinging, silently walked into her bedroom.

Silence fell, both inside and outside the room, a darkness enveloping them.

“The most passionate thing isn’t impulsiveness,
but that your impulsiveness isn’t for yourself.”

In the classroom.

“Teacher Hao said I should help my family sell 100 kilograms of soybeans first.”

“My god, 100 kilograms? How do we do that?”

“What do you think?”
“How would I know?” Liu Dazhi pondered for a moment, then a plan formed. He turned to Chen Tong, “Chen Tong, how much savings do you have? Buy 20 jin [jin – a Chinese unit of weight, approximately 500 grams]. Your sister’s getting married; she’ll need br3ast milk and yellow soybean pig’s feet soup. You get 20 jin, I’ll get 10 jin, Weixiao 10 jin, and Dingdang 10 jin—that’s 50 jin!”
Chen Tong said helplessly, “It takes ten months to have a baby; should I start preparing a pig for my sister now?”
Weixiao’s voice came from the radio: “Thank you to Ye Huan for sharing her experience of winning first place in the provincial essay competition. If you have any interesting experiences to share with your classmates, you can come to the broadcasting station. That’s all for today’s midday program; see you after school.”
Chen Tong pointed at the radio, “Go find Weixiao; she’s applied to the principal, and the broadcasting station will continue until the end of the semester. It’s a perfect opportunity for her to invite Xiaowu to share his experiences.”
“Interview me? I only sell bean sprouts!” Chen Xiaowu broke out in a cold sweat.
“That’s right, to talk about your bean sprout selling experience.”
“What should I say? I don’t know anything.”
“Yeah, after playing with you for so many years, I can even sprout bean sprouts now. We can encourage everyone to buy soybeans and sprout them at home; it’s simple, healthy, and fun to eat your own sprouts. If you don’t know how, you can teach them on the radio,” Liu Dazhi racked his brains.
Chen Xiaowu finally managed to say, “Chen Tong, Dazhi, you guys are so great.”
“What should we do next?”
“On Friday, you’ll do the radio broadcast, and we’ll sell soybeans!” Liu Dazhi said enthusiastically.
After school on Friday, Liu Dazhi immediately borrowed tables and chairs, putting up a banner: “Eat your own homegrown bean sprouts—want to try?” Chen Xiaowu thought it was too brutal and quickly wrote a new sign with a brush: “Five days to your own homegrown bean sprouts—are you ready?”
Many people came to watch, but few actually bought anything.
The soybeans were sold in one-jin bags, with instructions on how to sprout them. From afar, Chen Tong rode his mountain bike over, tossed his bag onto a chair, went straight to the table, picked up a bag of soybeans, paid, and left. At the same time, Weixiao’s promotional broadcast came from the teaching building. With the two of them joining, fewer people came to watch, and everyone gathered around. Many students worried they couldn’t sprout the soybeans and started asking questions. Liu Dazhi waved his hand, “Okay, everyone listen up! If you’re worried you can’t sprout them, you can pay and write your name; we’ll sprout them for you, and you’ll get your sprouts in five days.” Hearing this, the students stopped worrying and started paying and registering. Liu Dazhi proudly raised his chin at Chen Xiaowu and Chen Tong. Chen Xiaowu looked at the crowded crowd, filled with worry.
In less than an hour, 100 jin of soybeans were sold out.
Looking at the notebook, Chen Xiaowu’s happy face fell, and he gave a wry smile, “Dazhi, Chen Tong, we have 75 jin of soybeans that need sprouting!”
“75 jin?” Liu Dazhi snatched the notebook, glanced at it, and collapsed onto the chair. 75 jin of soybeans could produce 900 jin of bean sprouts; they’d have to change the water twice a day, and there wouldn’t be enough space in a classroom.
“It’s over, we can’t handle this. What should we do? Should we return everyone’s money?” Chen Xiaowu was anxious.
“Don’t worry, I have a plan! Let’s find Teacher Hao; he’ll definitely have a solution!”
“What about Dingdang?” Liu Dazhi realized no one had mocked him today.
“I thought she wouldn’t come, so I didn’t even ask,” Chen Xiaowu said cautiously.
“That’s not right; she promised to come and said she’d go home to get something. Forget it, I’ll go find Teacher Hao first; you two find a suitable place.”
He Shifu was in Hao Huigui’s dorm, trying to persuade him to transfer schools.
“Director, I’ll seriously consider it and give you an answer in a couple of days.”
He Shifu patted Hao Huigui’s shoulder, “Teacher Hao, don’t forget how I’ve supported you all along.” He Shifu had just left when Liu Dazhi arrived.
“What are you planning to do?” Hao Huigui asked.
“We can only return everyone’s money.”
“Why do you think people bought your soybeans?”
“To eat their own homegrown sprouts; it’ll feel different.”
“So, as long as it’s soybeans, as long as they can eat them, it’ll feel different, right?”
“Soybeans can only be used to sprout bean sprouts; what else can you do with them?”
“What did you drink this morning?”
“Soy milk.”
“Anything else?”
“Ah!” Liu Dazhi understood.
“If we can turn one jin of soybeans into soy milk and tofu, it’ll be much more interesting than just sprouting bean sprouts.”
“Go, don’t look for another place. Chen Xiaowu will know what to do.”
Chen Xiaowu naturally knew; he not only knew where to make soy milk but also how to make tofu. For the next few days, Chen Xiaowu worked tirelessly, spending all his free time at the tofu shop. Liu Dazhi and Chen Tong took turns delivering food and picking him up. The 75 jin of soybeans were transformed into bean sprouts, soy milk, and tofu, brought to school in shifts. The students were all surprised, and even those who’d mocked them before were envious. Liu Dazhi pondered, why could Chen Tong think of asking Weixiao for help? Why could Teacher Hao think of changing the angle, but he couldn’t?
Is this the difference between people? He realized that some people were slowly changing the world, while he’d spent so many years living according to others’ rules, accepting mistakes, rejections, and failures, as if he didn’t have a switch labeled “change the world” or “challenge the rules,” nor did he play the role of a thinker. This was probably why he’d never been excellent.
“Dazhi, thank you,” Chen Xiaowu handed Liu Dazhi a Coke, “Why are we always together, yet you think differently from me?”
“Ah?” Liu Dazhi was startled.
“I feel like I’m so stupid. You guys are all so amazing. Chen Tong could think of asking Weixiao, you could think of saving everyone time, and Teacher Hao could think of making various soy products. I feel like I’m useless; I only do stupid things, only sprout bean sprouts.”
Liu Dazhi felt a little happy to be praised by Chen Xiaowu.
But thinking that Chen Xiaowu was also troubled by the same thing, he felt dejected again; it turned out we’re at the same level!
“But!” Chen Xiaowu suddenly perked up, “When I was selling bean sprouts, I thought the customers were all my dad’s, not mine. But this time, when I sold them to my classmates, I understood why Chen Tong asked Weixiao for help, why you asked me to sell soybeans at the school gate, and why Teacher Hao asked us to make soy milk and tofu. There are always ways to solve problems in this world; it just depends on whether we want to solve them, right?”
“Chen Xiaowu, what’s wrong with you? Did you suddenly become enlightened?” Liu Dazhi touched Chen Xiaowu’s forehead.
“I really think this way; I really want to be like you guys, knowing what I’m doing.”
Perhaps everyone feels this way; for a long time, they don’t understand what “thinking” means. But when you suddenly want to be different, this world starts to reveal some rules, both clear and obscure. Comparing them, you realize how much you lack. These people start to show certain qualities, like reverence, respecting things they can’t do and people they can’t surpass. This reverence isn’t self-deprecation but respect. Liu Dazhi felt happy again, thinking that he and Chen Xiaowu were like soybeans, starting to sprout.

“Do you really think what you think is true?
How many people live their lives based on ‘what they think’?”

“My dad’s been arrested,” Dingdang said, her eyes swollen and red.
“When did this happen?”
“The day everyone helped Xiaowu sell soybeans. He went to Hong Kong on business and lost contact; he was taken away by the police. I didn’t know what happened and didn’t dare tell anyone. Later, the police called, saying my dad was involved in smuggling and would be deported to Shenzhen.”
“When will he be sent back?”
“I don’t know; they didn’t say.” Dingdang cried, “My mom’s asked many friends for help, but there’s still no news.”
“Did your stepfather really smuggle?” Liu Dazhi couldn’t believe it. He’d watched too much TV as a child and thought “smuggling” and “execution” were synonyms.
“We don’t know; he’s always been doing business outside; we don’t know what he does.”
“I think my dad’s got a comrade in the Shenzhen Public Security Bureau; I’ll go find my dad after school,” Chen Tong suddenly remembered.
Liu Dazhi and Weixiao exchanged glances, feeling awkward.
“What’s wrong?” Chen Tong asked.
The two pulled Chen Tong aside.
“Chen Tong, there’s something we need to tell you, but we’re afraid it’ll affect your mood.” Liu Dazhi was afraid of misspeaking, “Weixiao, why don’t you say it?”
Weixiao also found it hard to speak.
“Your dad and Dingdang’s mom dated a long time ago. Later, your dad got together with your mom and had you.” Liu Dazhi blurted everything out to Chen Tong.
“I thought it was something serious.” Chen Tong wasn’t surprised, “My dad’s so handsome; it’s normal for people to like him.”
“I heard it was Dingdang’s grandmother who didn’t approve, so Dingdang’s mom broke up with your dad, and then your dad got together with your mom,” Liu Dazhi added.
“Dazhi, what’s the point of saying this?” Weixiao stopped Liu Dazhi.
“I have to tell him everything I know; what if Chen Tong casually goes to find his dad, but his dad was hurt by Dingdang’s mom, that would be so awkward.”
“That’s true. If that really happened…” Weixiao replied.
The three fell into thought.
In the room, Chen Xiaowu was comforting Dingdang.
“Dingdang, don’t cry. Your dad wouldn’t want to see you so worried.”
“You don’t understand; my dad’s all I have; my mom doesn’t care about him at all. You wouldn’t understand. If my dad doesn’t come back, I’ll go to Hong Kong to find him, even if I have to sell my house, I’ll be with him.” Dingdang kept crying.
“If you go to Hong Kong, I’ll go too,” Chen Xiaowu said.
“Why would you go?” Dingdang stopped crying and looked up.
“We’ll all go with you; you’re too dangerous alone.”
“No, everyone has the college entrance exam; it’s impossible…” Dingdang started crying again.
Chen Xiaowu wanted to say he could skip the exam, but he knew that wasn’t the point.
The three came in. Liu Dazhi cleared his throat and said to Dingdang, “We’ve discussed it; it’ll be awkward for Chen Tong to go alone; it’s best if you and Chen Tong go together. When Chen Tong says half, you start crying; Chen’s dad will definitely soften.”
“What if he doesn’t agree?”
“Remember Chen Cheng’s wedding? Chen’s dad is very soft-hearted; girls crying always works.”
Dingdang looked at Chen Tong. Chen Tong nodded. Chen Xiaowu didn’t understand why Chen Tong’s father wouldn’t agree.
“Sigh, you wouldn’t understand.”
“You always say that; if you don’t tell me, I won’t understand.”
“Okay, okay, you’ll understand eventually.” Liu Dazhi said perfunctorily.
“Let’s go after school; I’ll take you,” Chen Tong said.
After school, Dingdang sat on the front bar of Chen Tong’s mountain bike and went to the Public Security Bureau.
“What if crying doesn’t work?” Dingdang was scared.
“Don’t worry; I’ll figure something out; don’t worry. We’re here; let’s go upstairs.”
Chen Zhijun’s office was at the end of the fifth-floor corridor in the Public Security Bureau building.
“Sister Zhang, is my dad in?” Chen Tong asked the bureau secretary, Sister Zhang.
“Yes, but he’s meeting with someone; it’s been half an hour; it should be ending soon; wait a bit.”
Chen Tong and Dingdang waited in the corridor. Dingdang was restless; every minute felt like an eternity.
Five minutes, ten minutes, twenty minutes—the guest still hadn’t come out.
Chen Tong said to Dingdang, “Forget it; let’s go in; we can’t wait any longer.” They started walking towards the office. Chen Tong was about to enter when he looked through the slightly ajar door and froze. Dingdang didn’t know what happened and let Chen Tong go first.
Dingdang looked and froze too.
Through the crack, Hao Hongmei sat on the sofa, crying. Chen Zhijun handed her tissues, saying, “Hongmei, don’t worry; I’ll definitely help; I’ll definitely get him back; don’t worry.”
Dingdang covered her mouth, tears streaming down her face.
“Zhijun, I’m sorry; I was wrong before; I never said it, but I hope you can forgive me. I was young then and didn’t know how to handle the family pressure; I’m really sorry. I hope my mistake doesn’t affect your judgment of Dingdang’s father.”
“Hongmei, don’t worry; I’ll do my best.”
Suddenly, Hao Hongmei knelt down, “Zhijun, thank you, really thank you. I’m the one who’s wrong; please forgive me. I can’t imagine what I’d do without him, what Dingdang would do, what this family would do!”
Dingdang couldn’t cry out loud and turned to run downstairs; she couldn’t hold it in anymore. She hadn’t expected her mother would one day lower her pride to save her father. Chen Tong chased after her.
Downstairs at the Public Security Bureau building, Dingdang cried uncontrollably. She felt a mix of emotions—guilt, self-reproach, happiness, and gratitude.

True love means being willing to set aside one’s pride and change oneself for the other person.

Dingdang cried, “Thank you.”

Chen Tong sighed, “If my dad and your mom had been able to have such an open conversation back then, perhaps you wouldn’t exist, nor would my sister and I.” Dingdang cried and laughed, a truly pathetic sight.

With Chen Zhijun’s help, Dingdang’s father was brought back to Shenzhen. Chen Xiaowu, however, didn’t get to go to Shenzhen with Dingdang; he dropped out of school. When Chen Xiaowu came to see Hao Huigui again, Hao Huigui wasn’t surprised. He knew Chen Xiaowu would eventually drop out, just not this soon. This time, it wasn’t Chen Shihui who forced him to drop out; thugs from the market who extorted protection money injured Chen Shihui, resulting in a moderate concussion requiring rest. With his younger brother and sister to care for, and only his mother to support the family, Chen Xiaowu ultimately decided to drop out himself.

“Have you thought this through?” Hao Huigui asked.

“Yes.”

“Without finishing high school, you might always feel inferior. Even if you succeed in the future, you might still feel less than others, constantly needing external validation.”

Hao Huigui wasn’t worried; he’d seen this in Chen Xiaowu—after dropping out of high school, he’d felt inferior for a long time, avoiding contact with everyone except for briefly joining them for drinks when Hao Huigui got into university. He seemed to be under immense pressure. Only after taking over the entire market and improving his living conditions did he slowly reconnect with everyone, constantly using money to prove his success. But true friends don’t need to prove themselves.

Chen Xiaowu nodded seriously, “Teacher Hao, don’t worry, I won’t. Actually, I’m very grateful. The last two times my dad wanted me to drop out, you stopped him. I wasn’t ready then; I didn’t know what I could do. If I’d dropped out then, I might never have held my head high again. You let me stay and helped me sell 100 jin of soybeans. During that time, I thought a lot and understood a lot. I know what I can do now. You, Dazhi, Chen Tong, Weixiao, and Dingdang—you all showed me I could become better. I know there’s still a lot for me to do in the future, and it’ll be hard, but I know the direction now.”

“I believe in you, and remember, you can always come to us for help.” Hao Huigui really wanted to record this conversation and play it for 36-year-old Chen Xiaowu, letting him see how sensible his 17-year-old self was. If 36-year-old Chen Xiaowu had been like this, how could he have argued and fought with him?

Chen Xiaowu nodded, moved.

“Go say goodbye to your friends. Remember, no matter where you are, you must put down roots and flourish.”

Hearing that Chen Xiaowu was dropping out, everyone decided to have a late-night snack to see him off; even Chen Tong came. Everyone sat together, the atmosphere heavy despite Chen Xiaowu’s cheerful demeanor. Dropping out of high school is a big deal for seventeen or eighteen-year-olds. Graduation is sad because of the separation; dropping out is even sadder. A person’s departure, that loneliness, is something no one wants to think about. Chen Xiaowu poured everyone a beer; everyone looked at each other, unsure what to say.

“What’s the big deal? I’m just dropping out; I’m not dead,” Chen Xiaowu urged everyone to drink.

“If you were dead, it would be easier; just burn the body. But you’re not dead; you’ll be selling bean sprouts every day. What if you can’t support yourself? What if you can’t sell them? You’ll still need us…”

“Dazhi, you’re concerned, but…” Weixiao didn’t want to embarrass Chen Xiaowu.

“Actually, Dazhi’s right. Don’t worry; I won’t sell bean sprouts forever, and I won’t drag you guys down. Cheers!” Chen Xiaowu laughed heartily, downing his beer. “From tomorrow, I won’t have to get up early for morning self-study, hahaha!”

Dingdang scoffed, “But you’ll have to get up at three to prepare the bean sprouts.”

Everyone laughed, the awkwardness gone.

“Alright, let’s toast Chen Xiaowu. He’s the first among us to support a family; we hope he’ll become the ‘Bean Sprout King’ soon,” Weixiao raised her glass.

“Weixiao, you’re the best,” Chen Xiaowu finished his beer.

“Why drink so fast? We’re still high school students; take it slow,” Dingdang rolled her eyes.

“I… I’m just happy, so I wanted to drink it all.”

“Xiaowu, let’s have one,” Liu Dazhi poured a second beer, and the two downed it quickly. Words weren’t enough to fill the gaps in the future, so they filled them with alcohol. Later, no one talked about the future; the future was too distant, too real, and it didn’t seem appropriate to discuss it with Xiaowu. Everyone lowered their heads, eating and drinking; the hot soup quickly cooled, becoming as still as a lake.

“Remember Teacher Hao’s public lesson?” Chen Xiaowu suddenly laughed.

“You were amazing that day.”

“These days, I’ve been getting up at three. The weather was really as cold as I’d described; I changed the water for over ten buckets of bean sprouts, and my waist was numb afterward. Then carrying the buckets, the bean sprouts… so heavy! But it didn’t feel heavy; it felt like a pressure, a weight, like if I didn’t carry it, the whole family would fall apart.” Chen Xiaowu’s face was flushed.

“My mom was always ready to help. I’m already so short, and she’s even shorter; how could she help? If I dropped a bucket, I might even hurt her. So I just gritted my teeth; I could hear my teeth grinding. All these years, how did my dad do it… so tired, he was really so tired…” Chen Xiaowu’s demeanor shifted from carefree to somber.

Weixiao held a cup of hot tea and watched Chen Xiaowu. Chen Tong patted his shoulder; Dingdang also stared at him. Liu Dazhi, seeing Chen Xiaowu like this for the first time, laughed.

“Why cry? It’s good; at least your parents are working together. Hey, let’s have another one.” The two downed another beer.

“Dazhi, you said you couldn’t understand your parents’ relationship; what did you mean?” Weixiao asked.

“Ah? What did I say?”

“What about your aunt and uncle?” Dingdang chimed in.

Liu Dazhi looked at Chen Tong and Chen Xiaowu.

“Forget it. They’re divorced, pretending to live together for my college entrance exams. And you, Dingdang, absolutely don’t tell anyone! Otherwise, I’ll set myself on fire!”

“Ah? They’re divorced?” Dingdang exclaimed.

“Shut up, don’t say anything. If you mention it again, I’ll say your dad was smuggling!”

“Your dad was smuggling! My dad was framed! Don’t believe me? Ask Chen Tong.”

“Why ask Chen Tong? Think you two are related now? Hehe.”

“Related?” Chen Xiaowu was stunned.

“You don’t know? Chen Tong’s dad dated Dingdang’s mom before.”

“Liu Dazhi, enough, don’t drink anymore; let’s go; we have class tomorrow,” Chen Tong said, picking up Liu Dazhi and leaving.

Youth has many secrets, but parental secrets are what truly trouble us!