I'll Wait for You in the Future - Chapter 13: Friend, Don’t Cry

Some are happy, some are lost.
Some want to forge their own path,
some want to enter unfamiliar environments,
some are preparing to leave…

“I already know the outcome;
everything I do is just to confirm it.”

Early Saturday morning, Hao Huigui went to the provincial capital to pick up Janitor Zhou’s manuscript.

He knew the truth was about to be revealed, but a voice kept urging him to slow down, to delay knowing. He transferred from the provincial capital train station to a bus, arriving at the magazine office in ten minutes, but Hao Huigui chose to walk. The rain started falling, like some kind of omen.

Hao Huigui finally entered the delivery room.

“May I help you?”

“Hello, I have an appointment with the editor to pick up a manuscript.”

“You must be Teacher Hao. Hello, I’m Janitor Zhou’s editor, my surname is Fan.” Editor Fan wore black-rimmed glasses and neatly combed hair.

Hao Huigui hadn’t expected the editor to be waiting for him.

Editor Fan invited Hao Huigui to sit down and poured him tea.

“Teacher Hao, after receiving your call, I wanted to meet you. I’ve already copied the manuscript; I can give you a copy…” Editor Fan hesitated, “To be honest, this article caused a lot of controversy in our office. During the selection process, many editors felt the writing was poor and the logic confused, but it felt real, like it actually happened. I thought the author might be schizophrenic.”

Hearing this, Hao Huigui felt sad; in the eyes of others, Janitor Zhou was indeed crazy. Just like himself now; if he revealed the truth, no matter who he told, they’d think he was crazy.

“Teacher Hao, I want to ask, what kind of person is Janitor Zhou in reality?”

Hao Huigui didn’t answer directly: “Editor Fan, like you, I’m also curious about Janitor Zhou. If you ask my opinion, this world is too big; anything can happen to anyone. Those who don’t believe it think it’s science fiction; those who believe it think it’s fact.”

Editor Fan nodded in agreement, pressing further: “Is Janitor Zhou’s current situation as described in his article? Does he really have a mental illness?”

“I don’t know if he wrote the article because he already had initial symptoms, or if the symptoms appeared after writing the article. But either way, the article’s content has already started to trouble him.” Hao Huigui answered sincerely.

“Actually, although this article is fiction, I believe the events described.” Editor Fan paused, “When I was a child, one winter night, I was playing on a frozen lake, and the ice suddenly cracked; I fell in. Just as I was about to die, someone pulled me out. When I recovered, the person was gone. I remembered this for many years, until one day, I saw myself in the mirror and realized the person who saved me was probably myself. Have you ever had this experience? At a certain moment, someone suddenly appears to help you, teach you something, then disappears into the crowd?”

Hearing Editor Fan, Hao Huigui felt a little comforted. “I believe you. I also think some people’s lives change because of sudden external help. I’ve also thought about this, which is why I came to get Janitor Zhou’s manuscript.”

“Here’s a copy of his manuscript. If you have any new thoughts while reading it, please let me know.” Editor Fan took a stack of Janitor Zhou’s manuscript copies from his bag.

“Thank you, I’ll leave now.” Hao Huigui stood up; the rain outside intensified. He put the copies in a plastic bag, placing it inside his coat before leaving. He found a less crowded restaurant, ordered noodles, sat in a corner, and took out the manuscript.

Some sentences were repeated dozens of times, such as “Why would he tell me these things.” The entire manuscript frequently used exclamation points. Hao Huigui understood why Editor Fan suspected it wasn’t fiction. Hao Huigui read carefully, understanding Janitor Zhou’s entire experience from the somewhat chaotic narrative: Janitor Zhou, raised in an orphanage, suddenly met someone claiming to be a distant cousin; this cousin was Janitor Zhou’s future self.

The older brother didn’t consider the extent to which Zhou Xiaogong, the janitor, would accept what he was saying at that moment, revealing all future events and his own identity. Zhou Xiaogong couldn’t understand, and even if the predictions were accurate, he couldn’t change the outcome of events.

The entire article’s logic is quite muddled. Hao Huigui painstakingly clarified a few key points:

1. He returned to 1998 because of the diary Liu Dazhi wrote to his future self.
2. Zhou Xiaogong’s future self saw Zhou Xiaogong’s current diary, so he disappeared.
3. If the diary appears in the future, people from the future can return to the past; if it appears in the past, people from the future must return to the future.
4. He couldn’t tell Liu Dazhi anything about the future; he definitely wouldn’t accept it.
5. When Liu Dazhi started writing letters to his future self, it meant he wasn’t far from returning.

Hao Huigui put away the manuscript. Zhou Xiaogong’s current predicament, on the surface, seems to stem from his inability to bear the burden of knowing so much about the future. In reality, it’s his powerlessness in the face of a known future. But even if we can’t change the present world, we can still strive to take responsibility for our future lives! Even if he couldn’t change 17-year-old Liu Dazhi’s life, once he started changing Liu Dazhi’s attitude towards many things, wouldn’t 18-year-old, 19-year-old, and 20-year-old Liu Dazhi become different? Even if Liu Dazhi, from 17 to 36, lived the same failed life as Hao Huigui, wouldn’t the unknown 37-year-old Hao Huigui become stronger? We can’t change our known present, so why can’t we take responsibility for our unknown future?

Hao Huigui suddenly had an epiphany. It seems that Zhou Xiaogong’s future self ruined Zhou Xiaogong’s present self, but in reality, it was Zhou Xiaogong’s present self who didn’t take responsibility for his future self. He was completely crushed by the present; he simply didn’t bother taking responsibility for his life at 40, 50, or 60. If he could change 17-year-old Liu Dazhi, that would be great, but even if he couldn’t, he should still take responsibility for his 37-year-old self.

Regret leads to wanting to change the past; strength leads to daring to take responsibility for the future.

Hao Huigui immediately went to see Zhou Xiaogong. He believed Zhou Xiaogong would understand his thoughts, and he believed he could help Zhou Xiaogong out of this predicament.