I'm Actually Panicking Because My Heart Doesn't Beat (GL) - Chapter 31

Xinglin City Welfare Home wasn’t the only welfare institution in the city, but it was the largest and most well-established. It housed over a hundred orphans, and the entire facility was about the size of a mid-sized school.

After her parents passed away, the original Xiaoxuan had no one to care for her and was sent here for a period of time. So Guan Xiaoxuan still had fairly clear memories of the place.

This time, Xing Tianqing and the others didn’t come here openly to investigate. Instead, they arrived under the guise of volunteers from a certain organization, bringing care packages—fruits, snacks, clothes, and blankets—for the children.

As a last-minute addition to the group, Guan Xiaoxuan also listened in on the team’s plan.

“This visit is mainly to get a feel for the place,” said Xiao An, one of the team’s spokespersons. She and Xiaoxuan were each carrying a box of fruit. “After we finish giving out the donations, we’ll split up in pairs to check the grounds, especially the stairwells and dark corners. You’ll be with Team Leader Xing—she has plenty of experience, so you’ll be fine with her.”

Xiaoxuan nodded while shifting the weight of the ten-kilogram box of apples in her arms. The apples were large and a vibrant red.

They were greeted by a teacher from the welfare home, a woman in her fifties. She adjusted her glasses and stared at Xiaoxuan for a moment before asking, “You used to live here, didn’t you? You look familiar.”

“Yes,” Xiaoxuan replied with a nod. “I moved out a couple of years ago. Before that, I lived here for quite a few years.”

“Oh.” The teacher gave her another look but didn’t ask any further questions. Instead, she warmly welcomed the group. “Come in, don’t just stand outside.”

Once inside, Xiaoxuan began looking around.

To be honest, coming here had been a bit of an impulsive decision. She probably should’ve just provided a few clues and stayed on the sidelines of the case—enough to complete her third mission without exposing herself to danger.

Rushing in like this was a bit reckless.

But at least she had Xing Tianqing and the others with her. Xiaoxuan had seen what they could do—if she stayed close to them, her safety should be guaranteed.

Since they were posing as volunteers, they had to go through the motions.

Xing Tianqing strolled through the facility twice with the teacher, familiarizing herself with the layout of the welfare home. Then she said, “We’ve also raised some donations. Maybe our accountant can go over the details with you? What do you think?”

She had already mentioned wanting to take a casual tour during their earlier chat. This was clearly her way of sending the teacher off.

The teacher didn’t seem to mind. After a few words with Xiao An, she left with her, heading to the office and leaving the rest behind.

“Let’s move,” Xing Tianqing said once the teacher was out of sight. “Stick to your assigned groups. Xiaoxuan, you’re with me. No matter what, we meet back at the entrance in thirty minutes.”

Qiú Nán and the others nodded and quickly split off with their teammates. Xing Tianqing glanced at Xiaoxuan. “Let’s go upstairs and take a look.”

Their target was a three-story building across the way, which mainly served as the dormitory and rest area. There was also an art room and a small library. Even though it was the weekend, there weren’t many children in the dorms. The few that were around didn’t seem afraid of strangers—they simply stared at Xiaoxuan and Xing Tianqing with wide, blank eyes.

“Why do all the kids look like that?” Xiaoxuan whispered, uneasy under their gaze.

Xing Tianqing glanced at the children and said softly, “It’s fine. They’re just regular kids. Most were abandoned because of health issues, so they might seem a little lifeless.”

Healthy children rarely got abandoned. The ones who ended up in places like this were often born with disabilities. It was hard to find adoptive families for them, so most remained at the welfare home until they were old enough to support themselves with a skill or trade.

Once they were out of the children’s sight, Xiaoxuan and Xing Tianqing arrived at the library and began their inspection.

They checked every floor, from the first to the third, going up and down twice without finding anything unusual. Xiaoxuan did notice how densely packed the buildings were—so much so that barely any sunlight reached the corridors or stairwells. Even though it was broad daylight, the place felt gloomy and dim.

Clack, clack, clack—

The only sound in the stairwell was the echo of their footsteps.

Guan Xiaoxuan glanced around. For some reason, she couldn’t shake the feeling that someone was watching them. Unable to hold back, she turned to Xing Tianqing and asked, “Captain Xíng, do you feel like… someone’s watching us?”

Xing Tianqing immediately stopped walking and looked back at her. “You feel someone’s eyes on you?”

Guan Xiaoxuan nodded and looked toward the dim end of the hallway. “I’ve had this feeling since the second time we walked through here… like someone upstairs has been watching me.”

The sense of being watched was intense—unlike anything Guan Xiaoxuan had ever experienced before.

She had heard people talk about “feeling eyes on you,” but this time, she could truly feel it—clear and distinct. It was strange, like something that teetered between real and unreal, and she didn’t know how to explain it.

Just as she was trying to figure out how to describe the feeling to Xing Tianqing, a strange sound suddenly echoed from upstairs.

Thump—thump—thump.

Then, a child’s rubber ball bounced down from the dark stairwell above, hitting the steps one by one until it rolled to a stop at Guan Xiaoxuan’s feet.

“Big Sis…”

A soft voice reached her ears—it was a little boy.

“Big Sis, Big Sis.” A small boy appeared at the top of the dim staircase. He was wearing black shorts, sneakers, and a light blue T-shirt. His hair was short, cut just above his eyebrows, and his bright eyes made him look like a deer in the woods.

He looked just like an ordinary child from the orphanage—except in this shadowy space, his face appeared pale.

Xing Tianqing instinctively drew her sidearm and aimed it at the boy.

Guan Xiaoxuan jumped, startled. She quickly backed away from the ball at her feet and pressed herself tightly against the wall.

The little boy burst into laughter, hugging his belly and giggling, clearly amused by her reaction. After laughing, he looked at her and said, “Big Sis Xiaoxuan, long time no see. Do you still remember me?”

“You…?” Guan Xiaoxuan stared at him, confused. She really couldn’t recall ever knowing this boy.

“I’m Haohao,” the boy said, tilting his head. “Back when you lived at the orphanage, we used to play together all the time. Don’t you remember?”

Guan Xiaoxuan searched her memory. Vaguely, she did recall playing with a boy like him back then.

But she had been a child herself, and those memories were hazy and disorganized. No matter how hard she tried, she just couldn’t clearly remember anyone named Haohao.

Seeing the look on her face, Haohao seemed a little disappointed. “It’s okay if you don’t remember me. We can be together again now—with me and my friends.”

Xing Tianqing frowned and raised her gun slightly. “Are those missing students with you?”

Haohao turned to look at her and her gun, then gave a wide grin.

“I don’t like you,” he said to Xing Tianqing. “You smell like something I hate. Big Sis Xiaoxuan, why are you with someone like her?”

Guan Xiaoxuan felt her scalp tingle. This weird little boy calling her “Big Sis Xiaoxuan” over and over made her extremely uneasy. She frowned and said, “Who are you really? Are you behind the missing students? Where did you take them?”

Haohao thought for a moment, then said, “They’re happy now.”

Free from the worries of the world, lost in a numb, dream-like state—they were, in a sense, “happy.”

Xing Tianqing’s expression grew serious. She said, “If you can still think and speak, that means there’s room to negotiate. If you can guarantee the children are unharmed, I can make sure you don’t suffer.”

Haohao smiled but didn’t respond to her. Instead, he turned back to Guan Xiaoxuan and said, “Big Sis Xiaoxuan, kick the ball back to me. Then I can take you to another world—one without pain, where you’ll be happy forever.”

Guan Xiaoxuan let out a cold laugh. He made it sound like a paradise, but she knew he just wanted her dead.

Before she could answer, Xing Tianqing fired her gun.

But the boy moved too fast. Before the barrier could be set up, he had already vanished, leaving only Guan Xiaoxuan, Xing Tianqing, and the lone ball on the stairs behind.

The visit to the orphanage came to an abrupt end. Xing Tianqing immediately revealed her identity and called in local police forces to search the orphanage top to bottom.

The ball was collected by a specialized team for further analysis and evidence gathering.

As for Guan Xiaoxuan, she was locked in the car by Xing Tianqing, with strict orders not to go anywhere until the operation was over.

Outside the car, the sky was starting to darken. Guan Xiaoxuan glanced at her phone—it was down to less than 30% battery—and started worrying about whether it would last until they got home.

The orphanage was now heavily guarded. Police had set up barricades all around, and curious neighbors were peeking out to see what was going on, clueless about the truth.

Thinking back on what happened on the stairs, Guan Xiaoxuan felt a dull ache in her head.

She had only tagged along to check things out—how had she ended up being targeted? And that little boy Haohao… he even seemed to know her. That part was the most unsettling.

Determined to get answers, she tried searching for any information about Haohao online—but found nothing. No news reports, no records. Even information about the Xinglin City Orphanage was scarce.

Her brows furrowed as she stared at the screen.

Suddenly, she thought of the Weird Forum and quickly logged in to search for posts related to the Xīnglín City Orphanage.

What she found shocked her.

Hundreds of posts popped up at once. A few of them caught her attention immediately:

[9-Year-Old Boy Falls from Building at Xīnglín City Orphanage—Police Rule It Accidental Death]

The post was dated—three years ago.