I'm Actually Panicking Because My Heart Doesn't Beat (GL) - Chapter 35

Guan Xiaoxuan sneaked out through the girls’ dorm bathroom and took advantage of the night to leave the school. She hailed a taxi and headed to the Xinglin City Welfare Institute.

Since it was late at night, there were few cars on the road, and the driver was driving fairly quickly. By around 11:30 PM, Guan Xiaoxuan arrived at the welfare institute. She paid the driver and got out quietly.

The welfare institute was completely dark now. Even the security guard at the gate had turned off the lights and was sleeping on the desk. The whole yard was silent except for the sound of the wind whistling through the narrow buildings.

It almost sounded like children crying in the night.

Guan Xiaoxuan remembered there was a low wall behind the welfare institute. Kids used to sneak out at night to play games online. The wall wasn’t very high, and with her current height, Guan Xiaoxuan thought she could easily climb over it.

She walked around and soon found a wall lower than the others. She took a few running steps, kicked off the wall, and climbed up. Then she slid down into the sandbox inside the courtyard, landing safely.

Taking the mirror out of her pocket, Guan Xiaoxuan looked at Bai Zhiqi’s reflection and asked, “I’m inside the welfare institute now. What should I do next?”

“You’re too close to the edge. Go a little further inside,” Bai Zhiqi said carefully. “If nothing’s wrong, that brat is the one watching you. Put me away for now. When you enter the other world, I’ll come out on my own.”

Guan Xiaoxuan obediently put the mirror away, then walked seriously toward the nearest building.

She couldn’t go near the dorm building—that was full of people, and if anyone saw her, she wouldn’t be able to explain.

As soon as she stepped into the building, she felt a gaze from the stairwell. Turning her head, she saw Haohao standing on the stairs, holding a colorful ball. He smiled cheerfully and said, “Sister Xiaoxuan, why are you here?”

Guan Xiaoxuan studied Haohao’s face. Just a few days ago, Bai Zhiqi had beaten him until his face was bruised, but now, he looked completely fine.

That little eerie being really healed fast.

Looking up at him, Guan Xiaoxuan said, “Haohao, can we talk? Can you release the students you’re holding?”

Haohao looked puzzled. “Why should I release them? They came here on their own. I never forced them, so why would I let them go?”

Guan Xiaoxuan said, “You’ve seen it too—the Supernatural Bureau people are watching you. They might come to catch you anytime.”

Haohao thought for a moment. He had indeed been having a hard time lately—strangers were showing up at the welfare institute more and more, and they were carrying special devices and testing tools. It was troublesome to keep hiding.

“Are those people your friends, Sister Xiaoxuan?” Haohao tilted his head and asked. “Can you get them to leave the welfare institute? This is my place, and they keep using their instruments to test around. It’s really annoying.”

Guan Xiaoxuan replied, “If you release those kids, I’ll make sure they leave the welfare institute.”

Haohao said weakly, “Sister Xiaoxuan, I already told you, I didn’t trap them. They all chose to stay with me. I’m a good kid—I wouldn’t force anyone to stay unless they want to.”

Guan Xiaoxuan grew more and more confused as she listened. After a long silence, she said, “If that’s the case, can you take me to see them? As long as what you say is true, I’ll try to convince those people to leave the welfare home. How about that?”

“Sure!” Haohao’s eyes lit up, and he suddenly appeared right in front of Guan Xiaoxuan. He asked, “Sister Xiaoxuan, are you really willing to come with me to my world?”

Guan Xiaoxuan remembered Xing Tianqing’s warning. Although this little weird one in front of her wasn’t very powerful, she couldn’t agree to any of his requests, or else she’d be trapped in that world forever.

Thinking that, Guan Xiaoxuan tightened her throat and said to Haohao, “I’m not going to your world. I just want to see the students you’ve trapped in the inner world.”

Haohao thought for a moment, then smiled and said, “I get it. If those people are staying there by choice, then Sister Xiaoxuan will want to make sure everyone wandering around the welfare home leaves.”

Guan Xiaoxuan didn’t nod, just said, “Let me meet them first.”

Haohao was very happy. The ball in his hands bounced twice on the ground, and the surrounding scene changed immediately. A cold, damp feeling washed over her.

“Follow me, Sister Xiaoxuan,” Haohao said, holding the ball as he turned to Guan Xiaoxuan. “They’re all resting in the dorm. I’ll take you to meet them.”

Haohao’s inner world was quite large—the entire welfare home, including the playground, was there, surrounded by walls. Outside the iron fence at the welfare home’s gate, Guan Xiaoxuan could see thick fog and faint figures walking in the mist.

Going upstairs naturally gave her a better view.

Standing in the hallway, Guan Xiaoxuan looked out at the foggy world beyond the walls and frowned slightly.

The girls’ dorm and the welfare home were all part of the inner world. So, does that mean places like this actually exist in many copies?

According to Bai Zhiqi, the shadowy figures in the fog were all weird entities. But Bai Zhiqi and Haohao were the kind who still had some rationality. The figures in the fog were those without reason, and they would even prey on the weird ones that left buildings.

So, what else is out there in this fog?

Surely the vast fog isn’t just filled with all these random shadowy figures, right?

As Guan Xiaoxuan thought about this, she unconsciously followed Haohao into a dorm room, which was surprisingly lit up, shining brightly in the dark night.

“They’re all here,” Haohao stopped at the door and pointed inside to Guan Xiaoxuan. “Look, Sister Xiaoxuan, they’re so happy here.”

Guan Xiaoxuan stood behind Haohao and looked into the dorm. She saw five kids sitting together playing a game—probably cards—and their faces were covered with sticky notes. She had no idea how long they’d been playing.

The kids were different ages; some wore their own clothes, others still wore school uniforms.

Glancing at their faces, Guan Xiaoxuan confirmed these were the missing kids, all of them, without exception.

“I put down the pair of twos. Where did you get yours?”

“There are four twos in a deck, are you stupid or what?”

“No way, I remember she played one just now, I played a pair of twos, where did your other twos come from? You’re definitely cheating!”

“I’m not, stop lying!”

“You always cheated when we were at the welfare home. You ate snacks but asked the teacher for more. You must have hidden a two somewhere. Let’s check, or you’re cheating!”

The five kids were about to fight when Haohao said to Guan Xiaoxuan, “See, Sister Xiaoxuan? I didn’t lie to you.”

Looking at the chaotic kids inside, Guan Xiaoxuan sighed and said to them, “Stop fighting. I have something to ask you.”

Under the dim yellow light, the five kids sat on stools. Haohao jumped up to the top bunk, laying on his stomach with his chin in his hands, legs crossed, watching Guan Xiaoxuan with curious eyes, not understanding what she wanted to do.

One boy wearing a gray jacket looked at Guan Xiaoxuan and asked confusedly, “Who are you? What do you want from us?”

Guan Xiaoxuan stood in front of them and said, “Let me introduce myself. My name is Guan Xiaoxuan. I used to be a child at the Xinglin City Welfare Home too, but I’m older and have moved out. I heard your families reported you missing. Can you explain why you’re here?”

A girl with a ponytail sitting on the left said, “Haohao brought us here.”

Others nodded and said, “Yeah.”

“We’re really happy here. No school, no beatings, and no one pointing fingers at us. We’re so happy.”

“We can play whatever we want. No one controls us. It’s great.”

Guan Xiaoxuan frowned and said, “But your foster parents outside are very worried about you.”

The kids fell silent, exchanging glances without speaking.

The same girl on the far left looked up and said to Guan Xiaoxuan, “Sister, since you’re an orphan too, you should understand how hard life is outside. At school, we’re bullied. At home, the foster parents beat and scold us. Even if some classmates or foster parents treat us well, it doesn’t change that we have no real parents.”

She rolled up her sleeve, revealing bruises. “These were from classmates twisting me. They hit and yelled at me, calling me an orphan. At home, I don’t dare tell my foster parents. They don’t care. I feel like my life is completely dark.”

The boy second from the right nodded. “After my foster parents adopted me, they had a real son. I’m just the adopted kid. They never treated me right. Instead of living with them, I’d rather leave.”

Each child shared their own story—bullied at school, misunderstood by teachers and classmates, or neglected by foster parents. All had complaints about the real world.

“But have you thought about how many people care about you?” Guan Xiaoxuan said helplessly. “Running away won’t help.”

“Sister, running away does help,” one child said. “See, aren’t we happy here?”

Haohao laughed and said to Guan Xiaoxuan, “Yeah, Sister Xiaoxuan, you should stay with us. We’re all happy here.”

Guan Xiaoxuan ignored him and looked seriously at the rebellious kids. “Come with me. There are people outside who care about you.”

“Heh.” The boy in the brown jacket put his hands in his pockets and looked at Guan Xiaoxuan. “You’re a spy sent by those cunning adults, right? Adults never like seeing us happy. They want to force us to do things they can’t do themselves. That’s impossible.”

He stood up and said, “Forget it. We won’t leave here!”