I'm Actually Panicking Because My Heart Doesn't Beat (GL) - Chapter 36

Guan Xiaoxuan tried once again to persuade them to leave, but the kids seemed to be going through a rebellious phase—they didn’t listen to her at all.

Not only did her efforts fail, but they also earned her a few eye rolls from the children. Guan Xiaoxuan felt completely helpless.

Looking at the stubborn kids, she realized that talking wouldn’t change anything. Still, at least she had confirmed that they were safe for now, which brought her some relief.

At the very least, it proved that Haohao wasn’t a vicious and dangerous ghost—not like Red Lady, who took lives.

As she was leaving the dorm building, Haohao followed behind her, still hugging his ball. Tilting his head, he asked, “Sister Xiaoxuan, why do you look so unhappy? I already told you they’re all safe—why don’t you believe me?”

Guan Xiaoxuan turned to face him and said, “I want to ask you something. Please answer honestly.”

Haohao immediately stood up straight, looking up at her. “Ask me, Sis! I promise I’ll tell you the truth.”

Guan Xiaoxuan looked at him, paused for a moment, and then asked, “Three years ago, how did you fall from the dorm building at the orphanage? Do you still remember?”

Haohao froze for a second. He looked down at the ball in his hands and said quietly, “Do I really have to say it? Can I… not talk about it?”

“You promised me you’d answer honestly,” Guan Xiaoxuan reminded him. “It’s just the two of us here. I won’t tell anyone else.”

Haohao seemed to struggle with it for a long time before finally looking up at her and saying, “There were a few boys in the dorm who bullied me. In winter, they poured water on my blanket so I had to sleep with it soaking wet. In summer, they kicked me into the swimming pool. I couldn’t swim, and they held me underwater. I almost drowned.”

“They acted like good kids in front of the teachers, but behind their backs, they were always picking on me.” Haohao’s face had gone pale. “They put rocks in my food, spat in my cup… The last time, they dragged me to the rooftop to demand money.”

“There was this couple in their forties who wanted to adopt me. They’d visit every week and give me some pocket money.” Haohao looked up at her again. “I was still little. They weren’t rich or anything—each time they gave me maybe a hundred or two hundred yuan. But those boys saw me as an easy target and demanded the money. When I refused, they started shoving me.”

“And then…”

Haohao looked down and said, “Then I woke up, and I was already in this place.”

Guan Xiaoxuan fell silent after hearing what he had been through. She had only known that he died from falling, but she had no idea he had suffered so much before that.

“What about the boys who bullied you?” she asked. “Did you hurt them? And if you woke up here, how did you end up outside in the real world?”

“I’ve been stuck in this world for three years,” Haohao said. “I did want to get revenge on them. But I don’t know if they were lucky or not—in the second year after I died, they somehow stole a motorcycle. The brakes failed, and they all drove into a river. They drowned.”

Just thinking about it made Haohao grin happily. “People who do bad things always get what they deserve. If they were still alive, I’d make sure they suffered too—let them feel fear, make them wish they were dead.”

Looking at the wildly smiling child in front of her, Guan Xiaoxuan frowned slightly. She wasn’t sure whether to feel sorry for him or to try talking him out of it.

She glanced at the brightly lit dorm behind him and asked, “What about these people? Why are they here?”

“Because they were all bullied,” Haohao replied. “We’re all from the same orphanage. They were bullied, so of course I had to help them. The real world is too painful. But here, it’s so much better—no worries, no pressure. We can do whatever we want. Adults can’t tell us what to do.”

As he spoke, he looked up at Guan Xiaoxuan, blinking his big eyes. “Xiaoxuan-jiejie, stay here with us. You helped me back when we were in the orphanage. I know you’re a good person. The others are good too. If we all live together here, we’ll definitely be happy.”

“If you feel lonely, I can bring more kids from the orphanage. That way, we can all be together again and never be apart.” The more he talked, the more excited he got. His cheeks turned a little red as he looked at her. “Xiaoxuan-jiejie, please stay. We all need you.”

Guan Xiaoxuan could see what was going on in the boy’s mind. She looked serious as she told him, “I’m not staying. I’ve seen what I needed to see, and now I’m leaving.”

Haohao stared at her without saying a word.

Just then, Guan Xiaoxuan felt a cold, damp chill creep over her, sending goosebumps all over her skin.

“You came here, and now you want to leave?” Haohao smiled, his eyes curving into a creepy grin. “Xiaoxuan-jiejie, even if you don’t want to stay, this is my world. Since you’ve entered it, whether you want to or not—you have to stay!”

Guan Xiaoxuan quickly stepped back and pulled a compact mirror from her pocket, shouting at it, “Bai Zhiqi! Time to get to work!”

At first, Haohao didn’t understand what she was doing. But when a ghostly woman in white flew out from the mirror, he screamed and turned to run.

But a kid is still just a kid. Bai Zhiqi dashed forward and kicked him hard, sending him flying down the hallway like a ragdoll.

He hit the ground face-first and slid a good three meters before stopping. When he turned around, he saw Bai Zhiqi rushing toward him and got pummeled with a flurry of slaps.

The scene was pretty brutal. Guan Xiaoxuan rubbed the corner of her eye, turned away, and looked toward the fog beyond the courtyard wall.

After about five minutes, Bai Zhiqi flipped her long hair back and dragged Haohao over by the leg. “All done.”

Guan Xiaoxuan looked at the poor boy who had just gotten beat up again and said sympathetically, “Did you have to hit him so hard? What if you broke him?”

Bai Zhiqi chuckled. “You’re funny. You act all tough, but you’re still worried whether I beat up a ghost too badly.”

Guan Xiaoxuan didn’t mind her sarcastic tone. She just looked at the boy lying on the floor, one leg still in Bai Zhiqi’s grip, poked him with her finger, and propped her chin on her hand. “Told you not to mess with Big Sister Bai. You know how fierce she can be.”

Tears welled in Haohao’s eyes as he whimpered, “You two are mean… wuwuwu… bullying a kid…”

Bai Zhiqi snorted. “If you weren’t so annoying, would I have had to hit you?”

She let go of his leg, looked down at him, and said, “You should try talking things out instead of scaring people. You trying to get beat up or what?”

Still crying, Haohao said, “I know I was wrong… Please forgive me, jiejie!”

Guan Xiaoxuan couldn’t help but laugh at how fake his crying looked. She said, “Open the Inner World and let us out.”

Haohao got up, summoned a rubber ball with a wave of his hand, hugged it, and gave it a bounce. Instantly, the damp, cold feeling vanished.

Bai Zhiqi couldn’t stay outside the mirror world for too long. Once Guan Xiaoxuan was fully back in the real world, she turned and disappeared into the mirror again.

Only when Guan Xiaoxuan saw the streetlights and neon signs outside the welfare home did she turn back to Haohao, bend down, and say, “I’m reporting everything to the police. Those students can’t stay in your world forever. If people from the Paranormal Bureau find you, they might destroy you for good. Do you understand?”

Haohao sniffled and looked a little pitiful.

“Xiaoxuan-jiejie,” he said, holding out his hand. “I know I was wrong. I shouldn’t have treated you like that. When I go back, I’ll talk to them properly and ask them to leave and live their lives. This is mine—I want you to have it as a keepsake.”

Curious, Guan Xiaoxuan reached out and took the item from his hand.

The moment the cold object touched her palm, her mind buzzed loudly.

Not good!

Xing Tianqing had warned her—never accept anything from that kid!

Lying quietly in her hand was a glass marble. As she looked up, she saw Haohao grinning ear to ear.

He said, “Xiaoxuan-jiejie, now that you’ve accepted something of mine, you belong to me. From now on, you’ll stay in my world—forever.”

A cold, damp sensation seeped into Guan Xiaoxuan’s body. It didn’t hurt, but made her feel like she was swelling—like a balloon slowly inflating.

She wandered through a grayish fog, dazed and confused. She didn’t know why she was there, or what her purpose was.

She didn’t know how long she had been walking when she finally stopped.

A strange squelching sound echoed in her ears, like slime rubbing against something. It made her scalp tingle.

The fog was too thick. She couldn’t see anything clearly, only a towering figure ahead—like a mountain looming in the mist.

What is that?

She stared up, puzzled, as the figure moved.

The squishy, sticky sounds grew louder. The fog blocked her vision, and she couldn’t control her body. Her head tilted up stiffly, eyes fixed on the mountain-like thing drawing closer.

Closer and closer.

The creepy sounds exploded in her ears like firecrackers, and just as she was about to see the figure clearly, her eyes flew open.

“Throw it, throw it, throw the handkerchief~”

The chill was still there, but she could move again. She looked around and saw she was still in the Inner World of the Xinglin City Welfare Home. She and five other children were sitting in a circle on the playground, holding hands and singing an old nursery rhyme.

“Gently place it behind a little friend~”

“Everyone don’t tell him~”

“Hurry, hurry, catch him now~”

“Hurry, hurry, catch him now~”

Her mind was still foggy when she saw a figure dart past behind her. The others laughed happily, eyes twinkling with joy.

Haohao had run to the spot across from her. He turned and called out, “Xiaoxuan-jiejie, I dropped the handkerchief behind you—come catch me!”

Guan Xiaoxuan looked back and saw the handkerchief behind her. Her eyes narrowed slightly as she stood up calmly.

But she didn’t chase after Haohao. Instead, she stuck her hand in her pocket and pulled out a lucky charm pouch.

She glared coldly at the boy and said clearly, one word at a time:

“You actually tried to trap me?”

Well then—don’t blame her for fighting back.