I'm Actually Panicking Because My Heart Doesn't Beat (GL) - Chapter 4

【April 15】

They came to see me again today. This time, they told me that the wish I made with the Red Maiden had already been answered.

The Red Maiden said she was willing to form a bond with me, but I needed to complete a few tasks first.

They said the tasks would be given one by one — only after I finished the first task would they tell me the second. I agreed. They said there would be a social event in a couple of days, and I could do the first task there.

Phew, after all these years, I finally got a chance. A few more days won’t matter. I’ll wait patiently and hope the Red Maiden can make my wish come true…

Red Maiden?

Guan Xiaoxuan looked at the diary and felt something was very wrong. The original owner of this body seemed to believe in this entity called the “Red Maiden,” who could even grant wishes.

This all looked like a girl who had gone down the wrong path — making a deal with some strange dark god and losing her life.

Just like those “Pen Fairy” or “Plate Fairy” spirits she had read about, the Red Maiden was probably similar — forming a “bond” probably meant possession or something like that. As for the wish… Guan Xiaoxuan had no clue.

But at least from this diary, she was sure that the death of the original Guan Xiaoxuan was suspicious.

Thinking of this, Guan Xiaoxuan’s head began to throb.

She had just woken up last night, and today she learned that the body she was in had died mysteriously. The word “they” also suggested that the Red Maiden was some kind of evil deity linked to a group. Why would an ordinary office worker like her get involved in all this???

Holding back her panic, Guan Xiaoxuan started reading the diary backward. She found the original owner didn’t write daily — the second entry skipped three days.

【April 12, sunny.

Today my pet Guazi got fatter again. I worry about its weight every day. The vet said it needs to lose some weight, or it’ll get sick when it’s old, but it has to listen to me…

But there’s also some good news.

Last night, I dreamed of a red fox standing at my door, looking at me through it. In the dream, I could see it clearly — even its red eyes.

I think that must be the “Red Maiden.” Maybe she heard my wish and finally appeared in my dream.】

【April 11, sunny.

Today I withdrew the interest from my bank savings. Together with my savings, I have over thirty thousand now. I feel very lonely in this world. Every day I clean my parents’ room, hoping they’ll come back.

I used to share these feelings with others, but now I don’t anymore.

It’s been almost a month since I made my wish to the Red Maiden. They said if my heart is sincere, she will come to me soon, but I still haven’t met her. Does she really exist?

No, I must be sincere. I can’t doubt the existence of the Red Maiden…】

Reading this diary, Guan Xiaoxuan felt sad — the original owner had seen the Red Maiden in a dream just before her death.

She quickly flipped back to the entries from a month ago and her eyes brightened.

【March 11, rainy.

Today at school I met some strange people. They were seniors in their third or fourth year, claiming to be part of a club that worships the Red Maiden.

They wanted me to join, saying the Red Maiden is a true god who can grant wishes.

A wish… could it really come true? If it could, I want to see my parents again. They’ve been gone so long. If the Red Maiden really can make this happen, joining this club and worshipping her might be worth it.

I said I’d think about it for a few days. They all smiled and said I’d definitely agree.

At that moment, I felt a chill. The kind seniors suddenly seemed scary. They took Zhang Wen away with them.】

Guan Xiaoxuan looked over that diary page again and finally understood how the original owner got involved with the Red Maiden.

A club worshipping the Red Maiden.

A group of seniors.

And Zhang Wen — whoever she was — seemed important.

Guan Xiaoxuan checked the calendar for March 11 and saw it was a Saturday. So this club probably met on Saturdays.

As she touched the name “Zhang Wen” with her thumb, she wondered if she was a classmate or something else.

At least, there was no one named Zhang Wen in the morgue records. She was probably still alive.

As she read on, memories that should belong to the original Guan Xiaoxuan started to resurface, though blurry — maybe because the body had died once already.

Faces of those seniors, the club’s location, even the date of the next social event — all felt foggy.

Suddenly, a pair of eyes appeared in her mind.

Red eyes, round and sharp — like fox eyes.

The Red Maiden!

Guan Xiaoxuan shuddered, feeling as if those red eyes were staring at her through the body, seeing her very soul.

Her mind went blank, but a knock on the door snapped her back.

“Knock knock knock—”

The quiet room suddenly echoed with knocking on the security door, followed by a woman’s voice.

“Is anyone home? I’m here to check the gas meter.”

Guan Xiaoxuan frowned. Her memories were still confused. Was it really time for the gas meter reading? She put down the diary, hesitated, then shoved it to the bottom of the nightstand drawer and walked to the door.

Looking through the peephole, she saw a woman in a property management uniform.

The woman knocked again, then listened at the door, asking, “Is anyone home?”

Guan Xiaoxuan’s mouth twitched. Was it really necessary to fall for such an obvious trap?

This had to be the special department from her memories coming to find her. They were surprisingly fast — she just got home, and they were already here.

She thought about pretending to open the door, then escaping using the outside pipes since her apartment wasn’t high up.

Maybe that could work. Her secret was hard to explain, and she’d better run first!

But when she turned to grab her cat, her body suddenly stopped obeying her!

Her pupils trembled as she saw her own hand rise and open the door.

Outside stood not only the woman in the uniform, but several others on the stairs, all wearing black long coats. Their calm eyes looked straight at her, as if they expected her to open the door willingly.

The woman in uniform glanced at Guan Xiaoxuan, then smiled and said to another woman with thin-rimmed glasses, “Team Leader Xing, she’s here. Should we just take her?”

The woman called Team Leader Xing was very refined, with red lips, pale skin, and flowing hair. Her deep eyes couldn’t be hidden behind her glasses. She looked like a big star.

Guan Xiaoxuan locked eyes with her and suddenly felt her heart skip a beat…

Borrowing the local police station’s interrogation room, Investigator Xiao An and her colleague sat in front of Guan Xiaoxuan. They showed her footage of the original Guan Xiaoxuan in a white lab coat leaving the morgue.

“Tell us, is this you?” Xiao An said seriously. “Explain everything that happened in the morgue.”

Sitting on the interrogation chair, Guan Xiaoxuan felt nervous for the first time. She had always been a good citizen — a Young Pioneer since third grade, paid taxes on time, never took advantage of company reimbursements. Now, on her first day in this world, she was in a police station. Her heart raced.

Yes, her heartbeat was back — slower than normal but beating. This proved the body she occupied was alive.

Now she had to figure out how to leave safely without revealing who she really was.

After reading the diary, she knew about the Red Maiden and the club. If she wasn’t crazy, she wouldn’t investigate them herself. The original Guan Xiaoxuan died once; she didn’t want to die too.

On the way back, she made up her mind — honesty was the best policy.

“I’ll tell you everything,” Guan Xiaoxuan said, eyes bright.

She gathered her thoughts and began: “I’m a little confused. I remember attending a social event, then somehow fell into the water. Maybe I was lucky and didn’t really die. I woke up inside a body bag.”

She left out the fact she had traveled between worlds and told them everything that happened in the morgue, looking both scared and sincere — half was an act, half was true.

Behind the one-way mirror, Xing Tianqing listened and whispered to Xiao An through the earpiece, “Ask her if she knows why the corpses came back to life.”

Xiao An looked at Guan Xiaoxuan and asked, “Do you know why the corpses suddenly came back to life?”

Guan Xiaoxuan honestly shook her head. “I don’t know. I was scared and just wanted to run. After all, staying alive is important.”