I'm Actually Panicking Because My Heart Doesn't Beat (GL) - Chapter 45

Guan Xiaoxuan brought out a small stool from her home and sat at the doorstep, scrolling through her phone while waiting for Xing Tianqing to finish work.

Today, she didn’t go to the café as planned. Jian Yuchang must be furious. Guan Xiaoxuan didn’t even dare to log into the new account she had created, afraid of getting scolded.

Though getting scolded wasn’t a big deal—after all, she had a thick skin; if someone yelled at her, she could just yell back—since she hadn’t gone in the first place, she didn’t want to argue with that man. Better to just ignore it.

Besides, she wasn’t planning to sell the glass bead today. She was waiting for Xing Tianqing to come home to ask some questions and planned to chat with Haohao in her dreams at night.

Guan Xiaoxuan realized she was actually quite busy.

Around 8 PM, Xing Tianqing came out of the elevator looking exhausted. Guan Xiaoxuan glanced at her and felt a pang of sympathy.

“Work’s been tough, hasn’t it?” Guan Xiaoxuan stepped forward to help carry some things and even opened the door for her.

Xing Tianqing looked at her curious neighbor and then at the small stool by the door. “Are you really waiting for me to get off work?”

“Yeah,” Guan Xiaoxuan said cheerfully, “I made some sandwiches at home. I can’t finish them all myself, so I brought some for you.”

She placed the packed sandwiches on Xing Tianqing’s table and said, “You’re busy with work, but remember to eat. It’s bad for your health if you skip meals.”

As someone who had been through it, Guan Xiaoxuan understood the pain of skipping meals during busy projects. She once was so busy she barely had time to eat, and her stomach got so bad she almost needed surgery.

Since then, she’d taken better care of herself and learned to sneak snacks in during busy times.

Xing Tianqing probably didn’t have those skills, so Guan Xiaoxuan made some sandwiches to help her tide over.

Looking at the nicely made sandwiches, Xing Tianqing smiled and said, “You can cook too?”

Guan Xiaoxuan laughed, “Living alone, I have to cook for myself. Can’t let myself go hungry.”

That was true. Xing Tianqing didn’t doubt it and started eating the sandwich.

This was Guan Xiaoxuan’s first time visiting Xing Tianqing’s place. The home looked pretty bare—similar in layout to her own—but much messier.

The living room sofa was probably never used, covered with clothes thrown on it.

The balcony was filled with clothes that seemed to have been hanging there forever. The fridge was packed full, but when Guan Xiaoxuan pulled out a bag of toast, she saw green mold growing inside.

She was shocked and found many expired milk and drinks. Turning to Xing Tianqing with surprise, she asked, “Why are you keeping all these expired and moldy things?”

Xing Tianqing, still eating, leaned in and said, “Expired? I thought I bought these not long ago?”

Guan Xiaoxuan picked up a box of tofu from the fridge, disgusted. “Look at this tofu—it’s moldy. Are you sure you just bought it recently?”

Xing Tianqing thought for a moment but really couldn’t remember when she bought it. She forced a laugh, “I don’t remember. I’m so busy at work I hardly eat at home, just grab something outside.”

“Well, you have to throw these expired things away. Smell inside the fridge—doesn’t it stink?” Guan Xiaoxuan gave her a disappointed look and then took it upon herself to throw out all the expired milk, drinks, moldy tofu, and bread.

She also threw away meat frozen for over a year, half-eaten burgers, and fish and shrimp she had no idea when were bought.

She even sorted through Xing Tianqing’s dirty clothes and put the light-colored ones into the washing machine to start a load.

“I’ve sorted out what to throw and what to wash,” Guan Xiaoxuan said, rubbing hand cream, sitting opposite the now full Xing Tianqing. “When the washing machine’s done, remember to hang your clothes out. It’s getting hotter these days; if you leave clothes inside for a day, they’ll smell.”

Xing Tianqing sipped her cold cola and smiled, “Thanks. I usually don’t clean much at home—working early to late. When it gets too bad, I just hire a cleaner. A few hundred bucks and it’s done.”

Guan Xiaoxuan sighed, “It only takes a few minutes to do yourself. If you have money and nothing to do, let me help you. I’ll finish, and then you can pay me.”

Xing Tianqing laughed so hard her eyes almost closed. “That could work.”

After some small talk, Guan Xiaoxuan got to the question she wanted to ask.

“Xing Dui, I want to ask you something,” Guan Xiaoxuan said, looking at Xing Tianqing. “Are there any special items that have thoughts of their own?”

Xing Tianqing was slightly surprised. She turned to Guan Xiaoxuan and said, “You mean special items that are ‘alive’?”

Guan Xiaoxuan’s eyes widened. “Really?”

Xing Tianqing didn’t answer right away but asked instead, “How do you know about this? Who told you?”

Guan Xiaoxuan shook her head. “No one told me. It just popped into my mind. If there are strange things with thoughts, then maybe special items with thoughts aren’t impossible?”

Xing Tianqing took a sip of cola and said, “Given who you are now, you shouldn’t know this. But since you asked, I can tell you a little.”

“In this world, there really are special items that are alive,” Xing Tianqing said seriously, looking at Guan Xiaoxuan. “But they’re very dangerous. Most of these ‘living’ special items try every way to kill their owners. So if you ever encounter one, remember to stay far away.”

Guan Xiaoxuan’s eyes widened slightly.

Special active items would try to kill their holders?!

Th-Then wouldn’t that mean she—?

The more she thought about it, the more terrified she felt. Controlling her expression, Guan Xiaoxuan asked carefully, “Do all active special items try to kill their holders?”

Xing Tianqing swirled the drink in her cup and shrugged. “I’m not really sure. I’ve only heard rumors about this. I’ve never seen anything like that myself.”

“Even with your position, you can’t get close to active special items?”

“Nope.”

Xing Tianqing said to Guan Xiaoxuan, “Don’t be fooled by my tough act—I’m just a small team leader at a branch office. There are a lot of things I can’t access or check. So what you’re saying, I’ve only heard of it, never seen it.”

Guan Xiaoxuan understood. It seemed if she wanted real answers, she’d have to go higher up.

After thinking it over, she looked up at Xing Tianqing and asked, “Are these active special items classified as Grade A?”

Xing Tianqing thought for a moment. “Who knows? Maybe.”

For the rest of Guan Xiaoxuan’s questions, Xing Tianqing either didn’t know or was purposely keeping quiet—either way, she didn’t reveal any details.

Luckily, Guan Xiaoxuan hadn’t expected Xing Tianqing to tell her everything. Just getting a little understanding about these active special items was a huge help.

“Oh, right.”

Before Guan Xiaoxuan left, Xing Tianqing told her, “New Weirdness Bureau recruits all have some training courses. Mainly on handling weird situations, knowledge about special items, and how to use firearms. You’ll probably have to set aside some time each week to study, so you don’t get killed if you face something weird.”

Guan Xiaoxuan’s eyes lit up. She had been wondering how to learn all this, and now she found out the Weirdness Bureau actually had dedicated courses!

“That’s great! When do I start?”

Seeing Guan Xiaoxuan’s eager face, Xing Tianqing smiled slightly. “The theory you can learn online. But for firearms and using points to exchange for items, you’ll need to go to the Weirdness Bureau and the points exchange center. Usually, theory classes online are an hour on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday nights. Then on weekends, you spend a day learning how to use firearms and special items in person.”

Xing Tianqing added, “I’ll send you a schedule later. When you have time on weekends, I’ll take you to the bureau for hands-on training.”

Guan Xiaoxuan was very happy and politely said, “Won’t it be troublesome for you? You’re busy too. I know where the bureau is—I can go by myself.”

“For your first time, I’d better go with you.” Xing Tianqing reached out and ruffled Guan Xiaoxuan’s hair. “Once you’re familiar, you can just take the bus yourself.”

“Okay!” Guan Xiaoxuan said happily. “Thanks, Captain Xing!”

Before going to sleep, Guan Xiaoxuan received the course schedule from Xing Tianqing, along with the website, username, and password for the online classes. She was reminded to attend on time and that on Saturday she’d go to the bureau for practical training.

After Guan Xiaoxuan fell asleep, she vaguely saw Haohao approaching her in a dream, looking pitiful and calling her softly.

“Sister Xiaoxuan.” Haohao greeted her quietly, “Sister Bai Zhiqi asked me to come find you tonight. Is there something you want to tell me?”

Guan Xiaoxuan looked around and realized she was dreaming.

She told Haohao everything that had happened today, then asked, “When you use the pearl, can you also feel the other’s consciousness?”

Haohao thought for a moment and said, “I’m not sure if I’m understanding it right. I only know that after I met you, I always subconsciously want to be close to you and show you my abilities.”

Guan Xiaoxuan looked at him, confused. “Show your abilities?”

Haohao nodded, then shook his head. “That’s not quite right either. Anyway, I just know I carry this pearl to see you. I trapped you in the inner world because I wanted to keep you here, and the pearl probably agreed. But then some things happened that made me change my mind.”

He said to Guan Xiaoxuan, “This pearl wants to follow you—I can feel it. So I have to give it to you.”

Guan Xiaoxuan fell into thought after hearing Haohao’s words. After a while, she asked, “Do you know if this pearl will harm people? Will it hurt its holder?”

Haohao hurriedly shook his head and defended the pearl, “No, this pearl is very honest. It definitely won’t harm you.”

Guan Xiaoxuan didn’t believe him right away. “Are you sure? I’ve heard that active special items always try to kill their holders.”

“Maybe others do, but this pearl definitely doesn’t.” Haohao, unusually serious, said firmly, “It won’t harm you.”

Looking at Haohao’s serious face, Guan Xiaoxuan finally nodded. “I understand. I believe you.”