I'm Actually Panicking Because My Heart Doesn't Beat (GL) - Chapter 62

At the Weird Affairs Bureau office, Xiao An refilled Guan Xiaoxuan’s cup with hot water and asked gently, “Are you bored waiting here?”

Guan Xiaoxuan glanced at her and smiled. “I’m okay.”

In front of her was a tablet lent by Xing Tianqing. On it were the lecture materials left by Professor Fang. Guan Xiaoxuan had missed class on Monday, and since the professor was aware of her current situation, he didn’t push her to catch up—just left the materials for her to go over. There wouldn’t be any more theoretical lessons this week to avoid stressing her out.

Right now, Guan Xiaoxuan was going through those materials while using her phone to search for information about the red-dressed female ghost at the bus stop.

She had to admit—there was a lot about this ghost online, especially on the supernatural forums where the stories were all over the place.

Seeing that Guan Xiaoxuan was looking up information, Xiao An patted her shoulder and said, “We’re working on it too. Don’t be scared—we’ll protect you.”

It was impossible not to be scared, but Guan Xiaoxuan didn’t want to show how uneasy she was. She smiled and said, “Thank you, Sister Xiao An. Really, I’m fine.”

“Alright then,” Xiao An said. “Captain Xing is still in a meeting. Once it’s done, we should have a more solid plan.”

Guan Xiaoxuan nodded. After Xiao An left, she continued researching the red-dressed ghost.

Most news reports focused on how violent and creepy the ghost was. There wasn’t much said about the victims. All she could gather was that the victims didn’t die right away—they slowly faded from people’s attention. At first, others noticed them, but over time, they seemed to lose their presence until they eventually vanished without a trace.

Some people suspected the ghost dragged them into an alternate world, while others believed she simply ate them.

The word “ate” reminded Guan Xiaoxuan of what happened on the bus. When the red-dressed ghost fought that man in black, she had also eaten him. Could it be that the “abnormals” killed each other like that?

Feeling confused, she kept looking through the forums, but there were barely any mentions—if any—of one abnormal eating another.

Then again, it made sense. If someone witnessed that kind of thing, they probably didn’t live to talk about it.

After searching for so long and still finding no weaknesses or counters against the red-dressed ghost, Guan Xiaoxuan felt frustrated and disappointed.

Xing Tianqing’s meeting finally ended. As soon as she opened the door, she saw Guan Xiaoxuan sitting in her chair, looking gloomy. Concerned, she asked, “What’s wrong? Did something happen?”

Guan Xiaoxuan looked up at her. “You’re done with the meeting?”

“Yeah,” Xing Tianqing replied, grabbing some water from the dispenser. “Qiu Nan’s getting discharged today. You were originally supposed to write the report, but since you’re new and probably haven’t learned how, she’ll submit it instead.”

Guan Xiaoxuan blinked. “I’m supposed to write reports too?”

“Not now, but you will in the future,” Xing Tianqing said, leaning on the table. “You’re still new and technically not part of the official team. Route 444 was originally Qiu Nan’s responsibility, but she got injured because of… certain events. That’s why the report should’ve been yours.”

“But since you don’t know how to write it yet, Qiu Nan’s taking care of it,” she added. “You’ve already explained everything clearly anyway. It’s nothing too complicated—she can handle it.”

Guan Xiaoxuan nodded.

When she had reported the incident, she had left out what the man in black had said about “gu.”

Even though she didn’t fully understand why, something told her she absolutely couldn’t talk about it—not even with Xing Tianqing.

She guessed it might be because of the glass bead she always carried with her.

Haohao had once told her that, for some reason, he just knew the bead was meant for her. And he’d been right. The bead was alive in a way—it could influence the surroundings and even connect with the thoughts of whoever wore it.

Guan Xiaoxuan kept everything in mind, already thinking of ways to control the bead and not let it control her.

Seeing the thoughtful look on her face, Xing Tianqing reached out and knocked gently on her head.

Guan Xiaoxuan looked up at her curiously.

“What are you thinking about?” Xing Tianqing asked. “You look really serious.”

Guan Xiaoxuan rubbed her head and said, “Nothing much. I was just wondering how Sister Qiū Nán got discharged from the hospital so quickly.”

“She wasn’t seriously hurt. Just a dislocated shoulder, so she recovered quickly after some treatment,” Xing Tianqing said, taking a sip of water before turning to her. “Let’s not talk about that now. Let’s talk about you.”

“Me?”

“Yeah. You’ve been assigned an A-level item, and we’re also sending people to search for that red-dressed ghost.”

Xing Tianqing’s expression turned serious. “She’s stayed in this city for far too long. No matter what, we have to take her out this time.”

Guan Xiaoxuan opened her mouth but said nothing.

She knew she was still too weak—someone who could only be protected.

Watching the agents from the Bureau of Anomalies head out on patrols while she had to stay close to Xing Tianqing at all times filled her with frustration.

But there was nothing she could do about it.

Maybe because Xing Tianqing noticed how bored she was, she gave Guan Xiaoxuan her login details for the Bureau’s internal website so she could read up on previous cases related to the woman in red at the bus stop.

These cases were part of the Bureau’s internal files—much more formal and reliable than the rumors flying around on public forums.

Guan Xiaoxuan spent the entire day glued to the tablet, reading everything she could find. Even near the end of the day, she didn’t stop. She read all the cases about that woman and then tried searching for information on “active anomalous items,” but came up empty.

Maybe even someone at Xing Tianqing’s level didn’t have clearance to access data on items with sentience.

In the dream.

Guan Xiaoxuan was once again standing by the window in her bedroom. She opened it, letting the cold night wind rush in.

That chill, damp air hit her all at once, as if she were underwater.

She didn’t know why she opened the window, but her gaze was drawn—almost involuntarily—toward the streetlamp below.

There was only one streetlight on in the neighborhood tonight, and unlike yesterday, this one was directly below her building. Guan Xiaoxuan could clearly see the figure in the red dress standing under it, staring up at her with a smile.

She was terrified in the dream but couldn’t move to close the window. She just stood there, frozen, locked in a stare with that woman.

When she opened her eyes, Guan Xiaoxuan was drenched in sweat.

She gripped the blanket tightly, breathing heavily. After wiping the sweat off her forehead, she sat up.

The woman in her dream had moved closer again. Yesterday she’d been far away—today, she was already right outside the building. Would she be inside the apartment by tomorrow?

Her heart pounded. She got out of bed, walked to the window, and opened it. Looking down, she noticed a faint wet mark beneath the streetlamp.

What happened in the dream—Guan Xiaoxuan didn’t believe it was just a dream.

She stared at that blurry spot under the light for a long time before closing the window again and heading to the bathroom for a shower.

Another early morning.

When Xing Tianqing got up, she saw that Guan Xiaoxuan had already made breakfast. She walked over and asked, “Why are you up so early today?”

Guan Xiaoxuan had her back to her and didn’t respond.

Xing Tianqing didn’t think much of it. “I’m going to wash up. We’ll head to the office after.”

But once she entered the bathroom, she noticed someone had already used it. She figured Guan Xiaoxuan had taken a shower earlier, so she didn’t ask and went ahead with brushing her teeth and washing up.

Guan Xiaoxuan placed the steamed buns on the table, glanced toward the bathroom, and muttered, “I told her I just used the bathroom. Why did she still go in?”

Maybe Xing Tianqing didn’t care, so she didn’t press the matter and opened the jar of beef sauce like she had yesterday.

After Xing Tianqing finished and sat down to eat, she suddenly looked up, puzzled, and asked, “Why aren’t you talking to me today?”

Guan Xiaoxuan blinked in surprise. “What do you mean?”

“You haven’t said a word all morning. I asked you how you slept last night, and you didn’t answer.”

“I did,” Guan Xiaoxuan replied. “I said I had a dream—the woman got closer and was right outside the building. You’re the one who didn’t respond.”

Xing Tianqing frowned. “When did you say that? I didn’t hear it at all.”

Guan Xiaoxuan was about to speak when her brows furrowed too.

She knew Xing Tianqing wasn’t the type to play pranks or lie about something so obvious. Which meant… she really hadn’t heard her.

But how was that possible?

They were sitting at the same table. There’s no way she wouldn’t have heard, unless…

Xing Tianqing also realized something was wrong. She put down her bun and asked, “How many things did you say this morning?”

Guan Xiaoxuan thought for a bit. “Three or four sentences?”

“How many?”

“Three or four.”

Xing Tianqing was silent for a long moment. “I didn’t hear any of them.”

Guan Xiaoxuan also went quiet. She couldn’t eat another bite.

Early in the morning, the two of them sat in the living room with two sheets of paper, going over everything they’d said.

Xing Tianqing said, “The first thing I said when I saw you was, ‘Why are you up so early?’ Then, since you didn’t answer, I went to the bathroom to wash up.”

Guan Xiaoxuan wrote on her page: “After you asked, I said, ‘I woke up early and took a shower. The bathroom hasn’t been cleaned yet, so wait a bit,’ but you didn’t respond and just went in. I thought you didn’t mind, so I didn’t say more.”

“After I finished and sat down to eat, I asked if anything happened last night. You didn’t answer me.”

“And I said, ‘I had a dream—the woman got closer, she was right at the building entrance.’ Since you didn’t hear, I changed the subject and asked, ‘Is the soup too salty?’”

Xing Tianqing crossed her arms, frowning. “I didn’t hear any of that.”

Guan Xiaoxuan tapped her chin with the pen cap. After a long pause, she said, “Xing Tianqing, could this be the first sign that I’m starting to disappear? Maybe the victims were just like me—their voices stopped being heard, and then they slowly faded from everyone’s view.”

After she said that, Guan Xiaoxuan noticed Xing Tianqing didn’t respond. She turned to look at her and found that she was still staring at the paper in front of her, completely unresponsive—as if she hadn’t heard Guan Xiaoxuan at all.