I'm Not A Master, I'm A Director (Type-Moon Fanfiction) - Chapter 11: Gilgamesh: Will You Teach Me How to Act?

Shinji pursed his lips, lightly tapping his fingers on the armrest of the director’s chair, his expression filled with helplessness.

Standing at the center of the set, Gilgamesh crossed his arms, his demeanor imposing as he glared at Shinji.

“I have to say, Gilgamesh…”

After the two had locked eyes for quite a while, Shinji finally managed to speak with restrained frustration.

“Could you please perform according to my script? It’s quite difficult for me when you ad-lib like this.”

Gilgamesh responded as if it were only natural, “Why? On what basis should I, the King, perform according to your demands?”

“Tsk.”

Shinji pursed his lips unhappily.

On the opposite side, Gilgamesh had no intention of letting Shinji off. He shouted loudly, “In the end, how could I do such things?! Murdering, abducting beautiful women— Aren’t these things only done by monsters?! How could I ever do such things?!”

“Don’t pretend like you don’t know about it! You’re the one who did all that!”

Shinji retorted with the same volume.

Gilgamesh snorted and looked at the “peasant girl” he was acting against, spreading his arms, “And you even made me die in such an unsightly manner. How could I lose to this country bumpkin?”

The targeted “peasant girl,” Arturia Pendragon, drew her sword at Gilgamesh, “King of Heroes, are you planning to fight me?”

“Huh? Do you think I’m afraid of you, King of Knights?” Gilgamesh grinned, “How about we compare our strengths here, see if I’d really lose to you!”

“As you wish!”

Seeing that the two Heroic Spirits were on the verge of a fight, the crew members backed away for the sake of their lives.

The only exception was the cameraman, who aimed his camera at the two Servants to capture their interaction as much as possible.

This was Shinji’s request. In Shinji’s words, “You never know if we might need these shots in post-production or for behind-the-scenes footage, so it’s better to have more footage than not.”

However, the two ultimately didn’t start a fight because, upon Shinji’s request, Arturia yielded.

After all, if these two actually fought and caused damage to the filming equipment, leading to machine malfunctions, Shinji would lose his mind.

“Hmph, apart from arrogance, the portrayal of me in the script is as worthless as shit! Shinji, you clueless Master, you haven’t captured my aura and essence at all!”

Gilgamesh pointed his thumb at himself, proudly.

“You should have just asked me to write the script, so I could showcase my magnificence and grandeur myself! Let me tell you, no one understands me better than I do!”

“Who would understand the King like you do!”

Shinji abandoned his restraint and exchanged verbal blows with Gilgamesh while standing on the director’s chair.

“Furthermore, what’s with this display of my magnificence? How can you write me, the King, so foolishly?”

“If you’re so dissatisfied, then quickly turn me into a positive character!”

“Even if everyone’s a positive character, who will play the antagonist?”

“Who cares about that! Let that ‘peasant girl’ play the antagonist!”

“Get lost! What a drag!”

Shinji slammed the director’s chair onto the ground with force, muttering irritably.

Although there’s a saying in the film script industry that “every antagonist is the protagonist of their own story,” Gilgamesh’s case was definitely an exception.

Gilgamesh poked Shinji’s forehead, loudly declaring, “In the end, the biggest issue is– Why was I, who was summoned as a Caster, cast as an Archer?!”

That’s right, Shinji didn’t summon the original FSN Archer, but instead summoned Gilgamesh, also known as Gilgamesh Caster.

It’s unclear whether Archer’s class spot was taken by EMIYA, or if it was due to the relationship between the summoning catalyst of Gilgamesh being the clay tablet from Uruk cuneiform script. In any case, Gilgamesh’s summoning was a bit mismatched from what Shinji was expecting.

Because of this class mismatch, Shinji had to change his plan to summon Medea and ended up summoning Assassin Yan Qing.

Considering that the role of the Caster-class characters in the Fate storyline is quite minimal, Yan Qing, disguising as Medea with his skill “Double Identity,” wouldn’t be an issue at all.

Initially, Shinji didn’t have much resistance to summoning Caster Gilgamesh.

In Shinji’s view, compared to Archer Gilgamesh who wouldn’t listen to anyone, Caster Gilgamesh, a diligent King of Heroes, should be easier to communicate with.

However, reality played a 360° spin on Shinji.

Even though the Caster Gilgamesh in front of him was open to communication and agreed to participate in the movie, he was very dissatisfied with his role in the film.

Not only did he not acknowledge the antagonist setting Shinji gave him, but he also disliked the parts in the script where Archer Gilgamesh acted recklessly based on his power.

In Gilgamesh’s words, how could he, the majestic King of Heroes, be so low and act like a country bumpkin?

Shinji was too tired to comment on this matter anymore.

Looking at Gilgamesh’s performance in the three Fate/stay night routes, he was like a wave upon a wave.

If he was merely dissatisfied with the script, it wouldn’t be such a big deal. However, Gilgamesh started to rewrite the script from his own perspective and acted randomly during rehearsals, trying to change the ending where he was killed by Arturia.

In Gilgamesh’s words, under these circumstances in the script, he would definitely take such actions.

No one understood him better than he did, thus the announcement from His Highness Gilgamesh, the newly rising King of Knowing in Fuyuki City.

In the end, the only advantage of summoning Caster Gilgamesh was that Shinji didn’t have to worry about him backstabbing him with Mapo Tofu for the sake of “pleasure.”

“Ugh, what a troublesome actor.”

Shinji sighed, sitting back on the director’s chair, feeling frustrated.

“Damn it, if this guy keeps doing things his own way, I might as well find a middle-aged Korean to play him!”

“Why a Korean?” Shirou’s mouth twitched, “Wouldn’t it be better to use Yan Qing? Then have Archer impersonate Gilgamesh’s King’s Treasury special effect…”

However, Shinji didn’t listen to Shirou. He bit his nails, pondering the pros and cons of replacing Gilgamesh as the actor.

To be honest, Shinji didn’t think the role of “Gilgamesh” was difficult to portray. As long as the actor could bring out Gilgamesh’s arrogance, pride, and self-importance, the role posed no difficulty.

After all, apart from fight scenes, this character hardly interacted with other characters in the entire movie, making it the easiest role to perform.

Actually, if Caster Gilgamesh didn’t have the mental burden of acting, the role would be quite easy to play. He just needed to stand in front of the camera and use the most arrogant tone to deliver threatening lines, followed by smashing people with weapons from his royal treasury.

This would essentially be him acting as himself in front of the camera until the director called a cut.

And then in post-production, adding sound, everything will be OK.

This character has very few movements, and most of the shots involve him standing still like a wooden post.

Of course, the premise for this simple role of “Gilgamesh” is that Gilgamesh himself plays it.

Replacing him with another actor would add a significant cost, especially for the special effects of the King’s Treasury.

Even if EMIYA used Projection Magecraft as a substitute, in terms of visual effects, it would still be slightly inferior to Gilgamesh personally. Not to mention that using EMIYA’s Projection Magic would consume far more magical energy than Gilgamesh’s King’s Treasury.

From a cost-effectiveness perspective, Shinji still hoped that Gilgamesh could play the role. Changing actors would be a last resort.

Of course, having Yan Qing cross-dress was definitely out of the question.

Gilgamesh didn’t care much about his own image; finding someone else to play him wasn’t a big deal. However, he was concerned about the issue of counterfeits.

If Emiya really stood in front of the camera as Gilgamesh, he might end up blasting everything apart, including the camera, with his King’s Treasury.

“As expected, I need to find a different approach.”

After being silent for a while, Shinji seemed to have thought of something. He stood up and walked over to Gilgamesh.

“Hey, King of Heroes.”

Shinji greeted softly.

“Huh? What nonsense are you talking about, Shinji? I’ve said it from the beginning, I’m not the hero who displays the force of rebellion; I am a wise king who rules over his people.”

Upon hearing these words, Shinji’s eyes lit up, fixedly staring at the languid blond monarch in front of him, estimating that his plan might just work.

“It seems that Your Majesty the Wise King doesn’t like that arrogant side of yourself either.”

“Of course, I’m aware of my recklessness at that time. But! That’s still not a reason for you to write the script like that, Shinji. Whether you portray me as I was back then is another matter.”

Gilgamesh still looked uninterested.

“What if I separate the immature you from your present self?”

Touching his chin, Shinji’s face revealed a mischievous smile.

“For example, I’ll make another movie in the future with your current self as the main character, showcasing your wise side…”

Shinji deliberately didn’t finish his sentence, leaving room for Gilgamesh’s imagination.

“…”

“Hmm… reexamining my immature self… if I distinguish the two…”

Upon hearing Shinji’s words, the previously disinterested wise king began to contemplate, appearing somewhat longer bangs shading his face. However, the faint excitement in his eyes, visible through the shadow, brought a sense of secret satisfaction to Shinji.

“Then, I could also summon Enkidu to act as your opponent in scenes~”

Hearing this, Gilgamesh frowned slightly, “Enkidu? Let’s skip that. There’s nothing I need to say to Enkidu. It was because of his death that I became the ruler of Uruk. But since I ascended to the throne, I’ve lost the freedom to converse with him.”

“But you’re not a king now, you can communicate with him as friends and colleagues…”

“Hmm…”

The once-dull King of Heroes finally showed signs of loosening up, immersed in thoughts of scenes opposite to Enkidu.

‘If I can use this opportunity to communicate with Enkidu, casting aside the burden of my previous identity… that wouldn’t be bad.’

“Ah~”

Seeing Gilgamesh showing signs of giving in, Shinji sighed as well.

Threats were ineffective against the stubborn Gilgamesh, but on the contrary, if Shinji could provide him with some “benefits he desires,” he might tolerate things more.

Shinji’s inspiration came from the relationship between Gilgamesh and Kotomine Kirei in the original FSN game.

Since Mapo Tofu was the source of Gilgamesh’s pleasure, he was even willing to endure a bit for enjoyment’s sake and follow the other’s orders and commands.

Though to outsiders, Gilgamesh’s way of thinking might seem twisted and insane, that’s just how he is.

“Onii-sama, are you really planning to make a movie specifically for this blond foreigner later?”

When Shinji sat back down, Sakura asked softly.

“Of course.”

“How long from now?” Sakura asked in confusion.

Shinji shrugged, “Maybe after fifteen or sixteen parts.”

Who knows when the FGO project will be adapted into a movie in Shinji’s plans, as it’s not just limited to the Fate series.

However, Shinji doesn’t plan on going back on his word. If FSN becomes a huge success, the launch of FGO is just a matter of time.

“Oh, by the way.” Shinji tapped his chin and whispered to the people around him, “Don’t tell that King about this, or he’ll definitely cause a fuss. If anyone leaks this, they’ll have to eat Mapo Tofu fed by Kirei for an entire day!”

After saying this with a “kind” smile, Shinji’s words caused the faces of everyone around, including Sakura, Shirou, Rin, Illya, and even Arturia nearby, to freeze.

‘Onii-sama, are you out of your mind?’

‘Wait! Wait! Just imagining this feels terrifying!’

‘Surely it’s not that bad, Shinji!’

‘Shinji, are you any different from a terrorist with this plan?’

…

Several people cast fearful sidelong glances at Shinji sitting in the director’s chair. The handsome face with a faint, almost indiscernible smile was enough to send shivers down their spines.

‘This demon!’

“Very well, let’s continue then.”

And so, amid Gilgamesh’s enjoyment, the others whispering curses under their breath, and Shinji’s triumphant laughter, the assistant director signaled by tapping the slate.

“FSN, Scene 143, Act 14, 5th Rehearsal, Action!”