I'm Not A Master, I'm A Director (Type-Moon Fanfiction) - Chapter 34: Who Said Serious People Walk the Red Carpet?

Meeting Cloris right after getting off the plane was certainly not a good start for Shinji Matou.

However, Shinji didn’t put his energy into the wealthy woman; instead, he focused on the film festival. To ensure that his work wouldn’t be delayed, Shinji had chosen to arrive in France a few days early.

With some time left before the festival’s opening, Shinji’s first impression of Cannes was that of a beautiful and tranquil seaside town. However, he didn’t have the opportunity to explore the beaches or strike up conversations with girls. After overcoming jet lag in just a day, he and Waver completed the final registration process for FSN.

Then Shinji experienced what a mature and large-scale commercial film festival was like.

During the registration process, Shinji did only three things: pay, pay, and pay. Whether it was for the staff badges, film promotional materials, or theater rentals, the expenses were substantial, almost rivaling the promotional costs for FSN during its first week in Japan.

People in the industry had always said that money was the basic key to unlock the world of filmmaking, and now Shinji truly understood why. From commissioning the festival’s designated partners to create film posters to renting screening rooms, the costs Shinji incurred were well above the normal rates. It felt like he was buying bottled water at tourist attractions in his previous life.

Even the cheapest badges cost Shinji a whopping 1,200 euros each. Due to Shinji’s relatively unknown status in the international film market, he was only eligible for the lowest-tier badges, which meant queuing up for film screenings and standing at the back during press conferences. In contrast, industry bigwigs enjoyed higher-level badges that not only allowed them to skip lines but also provided various privileges.

However, the processing fee for such documents is also higher, I heard it costs nearly ten thousand euros.

This made Shinji sigh. These French people are really clever; they know how to fleece the rich.

In fact, compared to other newcomers attending the film festival, the FSN crew has spent relatively less, thanks to the meticulous planning of Waver, who brought an old man from England to lead them.

Thanks to this person named Derek Ford, a veteran in the industry, Shinji saved a lot of unwarranted expenses.

Just hearing the name might make everyone feel unfamiliar, but his portrayal of Bernard Woolley in the “Yes, Minister” series is well-known, even though this old man with a wrinkled face has transformed from a “little angel” into an “old angel” by now.

In this Nasuverse world, Derek Ford is not only an actor but also a magus of the Clock Tower.

The more Shinji understands this world, the more he feels that the current somewhat strange entertainment industry is a reflection of someone’s personal preferences.

What can be preserved intact are basically the types the other party likes, such as tokusatsu dramas, horror movies, carrot-type animation, and various English dramas.

Not only is there the most classic version of “The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes,” but even “Yes, Minister,” this intangible cultural heritage, has survived.

Shinji himself is very happy about this; he has liked “Yes, Minister” and “Yes, Prime Minister” for two lifetimes.

Unfortunately, Sir Humphrey, the actor who played Shinji’s favorite character, passed away in 2001, which is a great regret for Shinji.

“Sir Hawthorne is the most dedicated actor I’ve ever seen. Even after a season of TV series is finished, he can still recite all the lines word for word.”

Sitting in the hotel room’s living room, Shinji was chatting with Derek Ford about the interesting stories from the time they filmed the TV series.

After hearing Derek Ford’s praise for his idol, Shinji raised an eyebrow and asked, “Even those long and complicated sentences?”

“Of course.”

Derek Ford blinked and showed a typical Bernard-style smile.

Shinji sighed, “Impressive. I wish our actors could do that.”

After saying that, Shinji glanced at Miss Rin Tohsaka, who was sitting in the corner reading a book.

She had just arrived in Cannes yesterday and was the only FSN actor to come to the film festival to promote the movie.

It’s not that Shinji didn’t want to bring more actors, but the male lead, Shirou, had poor English skills, Kirei was a religious person and not very convenient, and the Heroic Spirits couldn’t leave Fuyuki City. Moreover, the remaining actors had awkward roles in the movie.

So in the end, only Rin came.

Fortunately, she came just in time to avoid a more chaotic scene at the airport with Caster.

“Shinji, do you want us wheelchair users to compete with Ferrari? Isn’t that embarrassing enough for Ferrari itself?”

After so many years of hanging out with Shinji, Rin had learned quite a bit of slang.

After listening to the story of Sir Hawthorne, Rin also admired the actor and, having acted in plays herself, knew how difficult it was to memorize long lines and deliver them flawlessly.

But Rin also believed that actors like Sir Hawthorne were rare in the world, and having them, mere bronze-level actors, compete with the strongest kings…

“Well, you’ve already done very well.”

Derek Ford on the side chuckled, “I remember that the main actors in the movie are all newcomers, right? It’s already good to have such performances for the first time. Don’t be too demanding of them.”

“Where, where. They are just a bunch of guys who can’t even memorize their lines.”

Shinji modestly shook his head but couldn’t hide a trace of pride on his face.

“This guy…”

Rin frowned unhappily and then turned her attention back to the book in her hand.

Shinji leaned back on the sofa, savoring his coffee slowly, thinking about the future training direction for his Heroic Spirits.

“With Sir Hawthorne as a role model, I now know which direction to train those guys.”

Shinji set a “small goal” for himself and his Heroic Spirits in his heart.

“Achoo!” *7

Seven Heroic Spirits in Fuyuki City all sneezed simultaneously.

“I say, Shinji, you should at least come to Cannes once. Even if you can’t walk the red carpet in person, you can still watch the live broadcast.”

On the other end of the sofa, Kariya saw Shinji chatting with Derek Ford and interjected.

Shinji responded disdainfully, “Watching the TV broadcast is boring. They won’t broadcast the moments when celebrities have wardrobe malfunctions anyway.”

“Hey, Rin is still here.”

Kariya glanced at Rin somewhat awkwardly.

“It’s okay, Uncle Kariya. I’ve long been used to Shinji’s style of speaking, where ivory can’t come out of his mouth.”

Rin smiled and said mercilessly, “He’s just jealous because he doesn’t have the qualification to walk the red carpet.”

“Tsk, I’m a director behind the scenes, what’s the use of walking the red carpet!”

“You participated in FSN, so why aren’t you an actor?”

Rin raised her thigh wrapped in black stockings and continued to tease.

“It’s what you said. When a person stands in front of the camera, they are an actor. It’s a matter of professional ethics.”

Shinji’s mouth twitched in response to Miss Rin’s words.

Kariya hurriedly nodded in agreement, “Shinji, just admit that you’re envious. I won’t spread it around.”

Shinji, who had gotten used to his uncle’s almost annoying behavior, didn’t mind and silently made a note in his heart.

[“You can continue making a fuss; wait until we start shooting Fate/Zero, and when it falls into my hands…”]

Sipping his coffee slowly, Shinji occasionally glanced at the TV screen playing the red carpet segment.

Today was the opening day of the 56th Cannes Film Festival, and due to their lack of fame, Shinji and the FSN team had not received an invitation to the opening red carpet.

However, Shinji and his team had no intention of buying spots on the red carpet. Instead, they preferred to enjoy coffee together in the hotel.

Oh, wait, they were drinking coffee.

The only one who couldn’t drink coffee was Waver, as he had to deal with various trivial matters and make final preparations for FSN’s screening at the festival.

Well, Mr. Zhuge Liang would never overwork himself, and Shinji had no concept of taking a break.

“There’s nothing to regret. These female celebrities are not as good-looking as the female magus from the Clock Tower who haven’t proposed to him yet. Waver definitely won’t be disappointed.”

Shinji held his coffee and began to comment on the beauty of the actresses on the screen.

He spoke the truth. The female celebrities on the screen were attractive, but for him, who spent all his time with top-tier beauties, he felt no desire for them.

Leaving aside their figures, none of these female celebrities could compare to Arturia in terms of looks.

As for why he used Arturia as an example… Well, usually, the part that comes after “leaving aside” is the most important.

“Shinji, you’d better not speak so lightly,” Rin couldn’t help but interject, “After all, while I can’t really comment on whether other female magus are pretty or not, I can attest that we can definitely fight.”

“…”

Shinji’s expression perfectly illustrated the phrase “You make a valid point, I’m speechless.”

With Rin’s reminder, Shinji realized that the female magus he knew were quite skilled in combat, making him suspect that hand-to-hand combat might be a standard skill for modern female magus.

Rin, who knew Bajiquan, could easily defeat Shinji himself with a single move, as evidenced a few days ago when she effortlessly flipped him over. Even Sakura was proficient in this regard.

Shinji couldn’t forget the scene where Sakura effortlessly lifted a suitcase that he couldn’t even raise with both hands.

Even Irisviel, who appeared harmless, was someone not to be trifled with, as Kiritsugu himself, a professional mercenary, couldn’t handle her.

“Do you think that women who have developed magical circuits become more beautiful? Looking at it this way, the future of female magus who planned to become an actresses seems promising.”

Facing Rin’s pressure and acknowledging his lack of hand-to-hand combat skills, Shinji quickly changed the topic.

“I agree with that.”

Derek Ford nodded slowly. He lamented, “Ah, nowadays, female celebrities have no originality at all. They don’t think about improving their acting skills; they just want to take off their clothes to get ahead. Do they think they can win Best Actress just by undressing?”

“Pfft…”

Hearing the old man’s blunt expression, Shinji almost sprayed his coffee out of his mouth.