I Am the White Moonlight that the Former Movie Queen Secretly Loves - Chapter 5

As soon as Qi Sijia left, Meng Jiang followed suit.

 

 

Shu Ran had failed to network, and the “luxury car” she had gone through great lengths to borrow hadn’t even had a chance to flaunt or humiliate anyone.

 

 

Her mood was utterly foul. At this moment, she didn’t even understand why she had let her ex walk away so easily.

 

 

Frowning, Shu Ran grabbed her bag and was about to chase after them.

 

 

But she had barely taken two steps when a Tang suit-clad receptionist blocked her path.

 

 

“Miss, the tea service fee…”

 

 

Shu Ran let out a bitter laugh. Just as Sister Chen had said, Qi Sijia’s only purpose in calling her here was to make her foot the bill.

 

 

Pathetic.

 

 

Taking a deep breath, she cut off the receptionist mid-sentence.

 

 

“What kind of service is this?” Shu Ran lashed out arrogantly. “If she couldn’t afford it, why did you even let her in?”

 

 

The blame, however, lay solely with Shu Ran. She had only gained fame in the past month, and her sudden rise to stardom hadn’t yet sunk in. She had completely forgotten her status as a public figure, throwing a tantrum in full view of everyone—utterly unprofessional.

 

 

It had to be said that Huaqing Garden was an exceptionally high-end establishment. Though not located in a bustling district, it was frequented by a steady stream of distinguished clientele.

 

 

This was because the teahouse’s owner was one of Ningcheng’s top real estate tycoons.

 

 

Every social circle had its own rules. Even if one didn’t respect the monk, they’d respect the temple. No patron had ever caused a scene here before. The waiter was momentarily stunned by the outburst.

 

 

After a delayed pause, he tried to explain, “That’s not the case, miss, you—”

 

 

Shu Ran didn’t give him a chance to speak. “I’m not acquainted with that woman. Go ask her for the tea fee.”

 

 

When angry, people’s voices tend to rise involuntarily.

 

 

Coupled with the teahouse’s usual tranquility, Shu Ran’s words, laced with venom, carried clearly through the space.

 

 

Up ahead, Meng Jiang, who had already reached the staircase landing, suddenly turned back. Though her lips still curved in a smile, the warmth in her eyes had vanished. Her frosty gaze swept over Shu Ran—devoid of mockery, yet that single icy glance made Shu Ran feel as though she had been relegated to the lowest rung of some invisible hierarchy.

 

 

By the time Shu Ran processed it, Meng Jiang had already looked away, calmly summoning a waiter.

 

 

“That young lady is acquainted with me,” Meng Jiang said gently. “Put it on my tab.”

 

 

As soon as she finished speaking, Chen Cheng stepped out from behind Meng Jiang and gestured for the waiter to lead her to the front desk to settle the bill.

 

 

But the waiter hurriedly apologized, his panicked gaze darting between Meng Jiang and Shu Ran several times.

 

 

He then explained to Shu Ran, “Miss, there’s been a misunderstanding. The lady who had tea with you earlier had already prepaid the fee—in fact, she overpaid. We stopped you to discuss the refund.”

 

 

Shu Ran’s face turned ashen.

 

 

“If you’re not her friend, then…” The waiter hesitated, glancing at Meng Jiang. It seemed inappropriate to trouble a superstar with such a trivial matter, and he wasn’t sure if she’d agree.

 

 

To his surprise, Meng Jiang didn’t put on any airs. Leaning against the eaves, she seemed to sense his awkwardness and said, “I’ll pass it along for you.””

 

 

Ahhh, his goddess was so kind!

 

 

The waiter was beside himself with excitement. Staring at Meng Jiang’s flawlessly beautiful face from every angle, he stammered, “Th-thank you so much. I really appreciate it.”

 

 

Shu Ran: “…”

 

 

–

 

Qi Sijia wasn’t sure how she made it back to the parking garage. She had just slid into the car when—

 

 

“That fast?” Ye Qianqian’s gaze swept over Qi Sijia’s shoulder as she asked, “Where’s your girlfriend?”

 

 

 

Without answering immediately, Qi Sijia pulled her crossbody bag to the front, took out a white medicine bottle from inside, and poured a few pills into her palm before tossing them into her mouth, chewing slowly.

 

 

These were her heart-saving pills, something she only took when experiencing palpitations.

 

 

Ye Qianqian’s expression stiffened: “Were there a lot of people?”

 

 

Logically, a place like Huaqing Garden shouldn’t be crowded, and each tea room had private booths. In such an environment, no one would stare at strangers long enough for Qi Sijia to need medication.

 

 

Unless her girlfriend had caused trouble.

 

 

Ye Qianqian’s first thought was that Shuran had been inconsiderate—knowing full well that Qi Sijia’s social anxiety was severe, yet still bringing friends along. If that were the case, this girlfriend wasn’t worth keeping.

 

 

Qi Sijia lowered her eyelids slightly and quickly dismissed Ye Qianqian’s suspicion.

 

 

After a pause, she raised her head, meeting Ye Qianqian’s questioning gaze, and carefully chose her words: “I left early. She’s still there.”

 

 

The air fell silent for a second.

 

 

It was clear Qi Sijia wasn’t joking.

 

 

“No way,” Ye Qianqian visibly froze for a moment before bursting into laughter. “You left your girlfriend behind in the tea room and walked out alone?”

 

 

Qi Sijia gave a quiet “Mm.” “There were too many people. You know I can’t handle that.”

 

 

Omitting the fact that Meng Jiang was the same heartless ex who had dumped her five years ago, Qi Sijia briefly described the situation to Ye Qianqian.

 

 

“Sister Jiang is actually in Ningcheng?” Ye Qianqian looked shocked and instinctively glanced out the car window. Seeing no one, she turned back and said, “I’ll introduce you to her someday. She’s one of the top figures in Beijing’s circles now.”

 

 

“Her status there is comparable to yours in Ningcheng—the only difference is that you’re outside the circle, while she’s deep inside it.”

 

 

Qi Sijia’s profile was half-hidden in shadow, her thoughts unreadable as she stared into the night outside the window. “I don’t want to meet her,” she said flatly.

 

 

Ye Qianqian didn’t press the issue, understanding the extent of Qi Sijia’s social anxiety. She simply assumed Qi Sijia still refused to engage in social interactions.

 

 

“Fine, fine, whatever makes you happy,” Ye Qianqian said. “But can you really sustain a relationship like this?”

 

 

She studied Qi Sijia carefully. “No matter how understanding someone is, they won’t tolerate a partner who hides at home every day—no outings, no dates, no movies…”

 

 

“Jiajia, blunt as it sounds, have you ever considered whether she might mind? Or thought about opening up and stepping out for her sake?”

 

 

Ye Qianqian had her own agenda. It was clear Qi Sijia wasn’t sure if she even liked her current girlfriend.

 

 

Though her words struck a nerve, Ye Qianqian hoped Qi Sijia would wake up and see what was around her. “If you’ve never thought about these things, are you sure you love her?”

 

 

Qi Sijia froze, pondering the question but finding no answer.

 

 

She had been speaking less and less lately. Every morning, the sky looked dark to her.

 

 

Realizing she couldn’t live a normal life no matter how hard she tried, she had still made an effort to build a healthy relationship. But the light never seemed to reach her.

 

 

She had thought Shuran might be the one, but perhaps not.

 

 

A house couldn’t solve her partner’s need for security. As Ye Qianqian said, she had to try overcoming her social anxiety for the sake of the relationship—that was the only real solution.

 

 

After a long silence, Qi Sijia turned to Ye Qianqian. “I’ll try.”

 

 

“Is Shuran breaking up with me because she’s angry I left early today?”

 

 

Ye Qianqian met Qi Sijia’s slightly guilty gaze and felt a pang in her chest.

 

 

 

She pounded the steering wheel numbly and said, “I don’t know.”

 

 

Qi Sijia smiled, “I don’t understand either.”

 

 

Outside, the rain was pouring heavily. Qi Sijia gazed thoughtfully at the windshield wipers sweeping the rain away from the glass.

 

 

It seemed she had been dumped again. After that incident five years ago, luck had never favored her.

 

 

Her mind was in turmoil, likely because seeing Meng Jiang had unlocked some long-buried memories.

 

 

It had been a rainy day like this too.

 

 

Countless mud stains splattered her skirt. Meng Jiang, a woman who always kept every strand of her hair immaculate, had never looked so disheveled before. Her shoes were caked in mud, but she didn’t even notice. She ran several steps forward, grabbed Qi Sijia’s hand, and yanked her close, face-to-face, demanding, “Why didn’t you come, Qi Sijia? What do you take me for?”

 

 

Qi Sijia was so thin her jaw was nothing but bone. She couldn’t even muster a smile. “I take you as my dream,” she said.

 

 

The two stared at each other for a long time, neither willing to back down.

 

 

That day, the headlights of a luxury car flashed repeatedly behind Meng Jiang. In just a few seconds—though it felt like an eternity—Meng Jiang went from gripping Qi Sijia’s hand tightly to letting go.

 

 

Under the streetlight, Meng Jiang gave a bitter smile, staggering backward. The dim yellow light bent her usually poised and straight posture.

 

 

Qi Sijia watched as Meng Jiang parted her chapped lips and said, “Fine. Dreams are always out of reach.”

 

 

“Let’s break up, kid.”

 

 

Qi Sijia had always thought that only when Meng Jiang called her “kid” did she feel a deep, bone-deep joy.

 

 

But after that day, the word “kid” in her world was no longer a term of endearment.

 

 

–

 

The rest of the ride passed in silence.

 

 

As soon as she got home, Qi Sijia immediately called Shu Ran to apologize over video.

 

 

“Too late. Remember Little Pepper from the game we met in? I slept with her half a month ago,” Shu Ran said.

 

 

Qi Sijia thought she had misheard.

 

 

Her fingers, which had been typing, paused. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, unconsciously revealing the pale, slightly flushed tip of her ear.

 

 

In the bottom right corner of her computer screen was a minimized window.

 

 

Shu Ran’s face appeared on the screen, so close to the camera that it nearly magnified her pores.

 

 

This ensured Qi Sijia didn’t miss a single nuance of Shu Ran’s expression.

 

 

Qi Sijia asked, “What do you mean?”

 

 

“Still pretending?” Shu Ran sneered. “We just broke up.”

 

 

“Don’t tell me you didn’t hear me! Qi Sijia, at this point, what right do you have to cling to me like this?”

 

 

As she spoke, Shu Ran’s pride and dignity seemed to crumble. Her expression twisted into something almost savage as she lashed out, “What kind of girlfriend won’t even hold hands?”

 

 

“We’ve only met twice in a month.”

 

 

“When I texted you saying I wanted to rebel, I didn’t actually mean it—I wanted you to punish me. And what did you do?”

 

 

Shu Ran’s mood was at rock bottom. Her last question was practically spat through gritted teeth, her tone bordering on hysterical: “Is this even a relationship?”

 

 

Qi Sijia narrowed her eyes, stood up, and grabbed an ice pop from the fridge. She took a sharp bite, the cold piercing straight to her heart. “That’s no excuse for cheating.”

 

 

“Hah?” Shu Ran found this absurd. “Compared to your indifference, what I did is nothing!”

 

 

“I don’t even know what you do for a living or if you can afford anything. Just now, at Huaqing Garden—”

 

 

Shu Ran demanded, “Do you have any idea how humiliated I was?”

 

 

 

Having been dumped too many times with the same reasons repeated endlessly, Qi Sijia had long grown accustomed to it. Normally, she would apologize—her social anxiety had made the other person feel insecure.

 

 

But cheating? There was nothing left to salvage. Qi Sijia felt little emotion about it. Shu Ran wouldn’t be getting an apology from her this time.

 

 

As for clinging? There was no need to worry about that either. She often struggled to refuse others and would simply stay silent.

 

 

But infidelity in a relationship? To her, that was an unforgivable offense.

 

 

Shu Ran suddenly sensed the shift in the atmosphere.

 

 

On the screen, Qi Sijia, who usually kept her head down in quiet solitude, abruptly looked up. Her eyes—narrow, with a faint double eyelid—met Shu Ran’s furious glare with an inexplicable cool detachment.

 

 

Perhaps it was the first time Shu Ran had seen Qi Sijia so indifferent and aloof that she instinctively fell silent.

 

 

Only after Shu Ran quieted did Qi Sijia ask flatly, “Hmm, anything else?”

 

 

The question was infuriating.

 

 

On the screen, the person being dumped showed not a trace of emotion—not even anger—speaking with eerie calm, as if urging Shu Ran to just hang up already.

 

 

Shu Ran was livid, her eyes reddening with rage. “So it’s confirmed—you’re not frigid, you’re just not into women at all!” she spat.

 

 

“A straight girl pretending to be gay? Hope you get concrete poured down there.”

 

 

“Don’t ever contact me again. I never want to see you for the rest of my life.”

 

 

Qi Sijia: “…”

 

 

Before she could even respond, Shu Ran hung up.

 

 

Qi Sijia sucked the last bit of sweetness from her wooden-fiber popsicle, chewing on the stick as she stretched out her well-maintained fingers under the desk lamp, examining them.

 

 

After a moment, she pulled open a drawer. Inside the computer desk was a box full of hand masks. Without hesitation, she dumped them all into the trash.

 

 

She had actually put in effort. Her last girlfriend had loved her hands, and Shu Ran had often stared at them too.

 

 

“11cm long fingers—Qi Sijia, you’re a total lesbian magnet. You better take good care of them.”

 

 

So she had even started doing hand care daily. And yet, she got cheated on—and had her sexuality questioned.

 

 

Qi Sijia sat back in her swivel chair, lips pressed together in silence for a long time.

 

 

The room was quiet. A potted plant drooped by the desk, and beneath it lay an aging orange cat, motionless.

 

 

Over the years, as the cat grew older, the house had grown quieter. In the empty rooms, she couldn’t even remember the last time she had spoken to someone who wasn’t herself.

 

 

Everyone fears loneliness. Qi Sijia feared that once Big Orange passed, she would truly be swallowed by that endless solitude.

 

 

She needed to change.

 

 

As Ye Qianqian had once said, “No matter how tolerant someone is, no one can accept a partner who hides at home every day—never going out, never dating, never watching movies…”

 

 

Qi Sijia lowered her gaze and walked over to the plant, bending down to pick up the orange cat. Staring into its glass-like, beautiful eyes, she finally murmured after a long pause, “If this keeps up, Mom’s gonna end up just like you—unable to form normal social relationships for the rest of her life.”

 

 

“Will going out even help?”

 

 

The response was a drawn-out “Meow.” The cat pressed its soft paw against Qi Sijia’s hand, as if encouraging her.

 

 

Under the light, the two of them sat—one human, one cat. The cat, now old, had thinning fur.

 

 

Its body was heavy, sluggish, its bones nearly stiff from lack of movement. Qi Sijia watched it, stroking its head for a while before it finally managed a couple of clumsy twitches.

 

 

The sight almost made her laugh. The corners of her lips twitched—her mouth naturally flat, her lips the color of grapefruit.

 

 

 

Her smile didn’t appear overly bright, but rather slowly blossomed into a faint yet perfectly charming curve.

 

 

“Alright, it’s time… to go out for a walk.”