Irreversible Sadism (GL) - Chapter 14

Floating in a gravity-less vacuum, I am unable to move with my arms raised.

“So, um? I think I might end up making a sound, so I want you to cover my mouth.”

I may have forgotten how to move my neck to nod. Without even being able to blink, my eyes are drying out more and more.

“Cover your mouth?”

Tateha gently says again, as if soothing a child.

“And I want you to press your hands against the wall too. I’m sure I’ll thrash around.”

“Tateha… is that what you want?”

“Yeah, I want you to.”

With pleading eyes, Tateha looks at me. There’s no clear indication that she wants me to do it; she simply asks for permission, leaving the choice up to me. And I have always made my choices.

When I touch the ring-shaped earring, Tateha tightly shuts her eyes.

Am I going to tear this off?

Just imagining the scream of muscle fibers, the flesh and bl00d spilling out makes me close my eyes. A chill runs down my spine, and reality starts to fade away.

There’s no way I could do that. This act is on an entirely different level from what I’ve done before. Even if it’s frayed at the edges, what would happen to the human body if I did such a thing? If only the area around the hole were to tear, that would be one thing, but what if it ripped apart like cracks spreading across a sheet of paper?

“Are you not going to do it?”

Seeing me unable to move while touching her, Tateha tilts her head with concern. Watching that gesture makes me want to respond to her wish no matter what.

The ring is being pulled, trying to take Tateha’s delicate ear with it into the outside world. Her face is being tugged as well, so I place my hand on her cheek to keep it still.

I slipped my finger through the ring. Even as I did it myself, I wished for a miracle to happen. Perhaps the earring would tear off by some mistake, or the classroom would suddenly collapse and a monster would come; anything would do, just to interfere with me.

I concentrated my strength in my fingertips.

It felt like a gravity akin to irritation.

With a snap, the earring took the skin of her ear along with it into the outside world.

Accompanying the pulling force were regret, resignation, and a sense of righteousness. This act was something desirable for Tateha, a way for me to atone for my sins.

“Ah…!”

Seeing Tateha let out a small scream, I immediately covered her mouth with my hand.

“………. Huh,……….!”

Tateha’s eyes widened as she cried. Her rough tongue repeatedly brushed against my palm. I pushed back against the force pressing toward me, pinning Tateha against the wall.

A half-hearted effort wouldn’t keep her mouth shut. I leaned my weight onto the hand covering her mouth, just like I would if I were choking her.

“Ugh… mmm… ugh…!”

Tateha writhed in pain, flailing her legs. She tried to escape by grabbing my shoulder. I seized her wrist and wedged my knee between her legs. Now, she couldn’t move.

The things I had done to Tateha until now became lessons, and I found a refined way to move. …I was getting used to it.

A shiver ran down my spine.

Tateha’s ear was chipped at the edge like cheese nibbled by a mouse. The exposed flesh was a bright red. After a while, it seemed bl00d began to flow, trickling from her ear down to her jaw.

Tateha seemed to want to say something, but all she did was smear drool on my hand, and her clear voice never reached my ears.

“Ruri… ch—…! …N, n…!”

For some reason, at that moment, I recalled the first time I spoke to Tateha.

“—Ruri-chan got a perfect score on the test!? Amazing!”

While returning to her seat with the graded test paper in hand, Tateha’s eyes sparkled as she saw the score on my test placed on my desk. I remember feeling as if the smoke that had filled my heart was lifted as I watched her jump up and down, exclaiming how amazing it was.

I was somewhat good at studying. I had been praised a few times before. But Tateha was the first to praise me so openly and without reservation. At that moment, I didn’t know how to respond, so I pouted and said “Thanks” coolly, but inside, I was so happy I felt like dancing.

Since then, I had started to follow Tateha with my eyes. When she saw me, she would smile happily and run over. I thought to myself that this girl must like me. I accepted her affection with a sideways glance, like petting a dog that had grown attached.

But when I saw Tateha treating other kids the same way, something like mud began to accumulate in my throat.

I truly wanted to be friends. However, the way she smiled at everyone began to irritate me, and before I knew it, I had started to bully Tateha. It might not be the same psychology as a boy bullying a girl he likes, but the direction was the same.

I felt as if I had torn apart the pure human desire I once had to be friends with Tateha. Perhaps I could have turned back.

Consumed by a regret that made me want to cry, I found that actual tears wouldn’t flow. Perhaps there was something at the bottom of my pain that dried my eyes.

The primordial memory of meeting a girl named Tateha.

That was probably the last hope left for me.

“What are you two doing?”

So, perhaps this is my retribution.

When I was little, I watched on TV as a serial killer continued to evade the police. They tried everything to smoke him out, but within a month, the man was apprehended at a fishing port.

Ah, I understood even as a child that he would eventually be caught. Someday, eventually. Those days, those moments, would inevitably come. There was no escaping it.

Seeing Kururu standing at the entrance of the classroom, I recalled the expression of the rampaging serial killer and superimposed it onto myself.

In the killer’s hand was the fruit knife that had become the weapon.

In my hand was a ring-shaped earring stained with fresh bl00d.

There might be no difference at all. Whether I took a life or not.

If I continued to run, “someday” would inevitably come.

That “someday” just happened to be today.