Irreversible Sadism (GL) - Chapter 33

Nakatani was attending a judo class, and her physique was as solid as any boy’s.

She had a strong-willed personality, and above all, her voice was loud. Many of her classmates had trembled at her powerful shouts.

In this environment, Nakatani took on the role of the restrainer. Her judo experience allowed her to hold someone down so effectively that they couldn’t move an inch.

Tateha, who was caught in Nakatani ‘s grip, flailed his legs like a small animal trapped in a snare.

Nakatani often expressed her criticisms of judo rules and etiquette, and it seemed she enjoyed practicing a lawless form of judo using Tateha.

Watching this, Sorimachi, who was unlike Nakatani in build—slender and quick-witted—was laughing. He was always quick to mock, his sharp tongue spewing out a stream of derisive comments. He often ridiculed Tateha in class, mimicking his tilted head and laughing in a high-pitched voice. Sorimachi’s crooked smile resembled that of a cartoon devil.

Sorimachi was responsible for the jeering. He disliked getting his hands dirty, so having someone like me around was convenient for him.

And then there was me, Miyama Ruri, a genuine villain.

What would normally cause hesitation for others felt like just a breath before starting a conversation for me.

Stabbing a mechanical pencil, scorching a wound with a lighter, or forcing someone’s head into a bucket of water—none of it stirred even a hint of guilt within me.

When I explained to Nakatani what I was going to do to Tateha, both she and Sorimachi widened their eyes in surprise. With vague responses, they might not have believed I would actually go through with it at that moment.

“Ahhh! It hurts, it hurts! Nakatani -san! Let me go!”

I could feel the black lead of the mechanical pencil sinking into Tateha’s white skin. Above me, Tateha was screaming.

Nakatani ‘s grip was formidable. I had once been playfully put in a hold by her, and it felt as if I might be crushed to death. It was best not to provoke her.

“Hahaha! Let go, it hurts! Asami, your way of speaking is so annoying. You might fool the boys and the teachers, but we won’t be tricked!”

“I’m not trying to fool anyone!”

“Not trying to fool anyone… not trying to fool anyone! Hahaha!”

Sorimachi’s words didn’t reach Tateha. He simply spewed out the sarcastic remarks that pleased him, not seeking any real conversation.

After being interrupted and mocked, Tateha looked at me with tear-filled eyes.

That pleading gaze was like a spark for me. Seeing those frightened, yearning eyes made me want to drive my point home even more.

“Tateha.”

I called his name softly.

Looking back, it might have been the first time I had called him by his name.

Upon hearing his name, Tateha’s eyes lit up with a friendly glimmer, and he reached out to me as if clinging to hope.

“Ruri—”

I stabbed the mechanical pencil with all my might.

There was no hesitation, no restraint.

I hadn’t considered that beyond the skin lay bones, flesh, organs that could bleed, and lives that could be lost. I didn’t even comprehend that the person before me was human. I didn’t think of this as bullying.

A blow devoid of any moral compass pierced Tateha’s thigh.

The eyes that had been looking up at me in desperation widened in shock.

In that moment, as his pupils trembled, Tateha’s face contorted.

“It hurts! It hurts, it hurts! Nooo! Ahhh…!”

In response to Tateha’s scream, we laughed.

As we laughed, I thought to myself.

This is what hell truly is.

It was one day.

Our second period Japanese class turned into a self-study session due to the teacher’s absence.

A self-study session that didn’t require notebooks or textbooks was synonymous with liberation for the students. After the teacher announced the self-study and left with a “So, keep it quiet,” we found ourselves free.

One student pulled out a manga, another began flying a paper airplane made from a handout. The classroom was already filled with beasts unleashed from their chains.

I was also enjoying a chat while reading a fortune-telling book my friend had brought.

I might have been the only one to notice when the door opened in our classroom, which was devoid of silence. I happened to catch a glimpse of Tateha sneaking out of the classroom.

I excused myself from my friends and headed to the restroom.

The stall in the back was locked, and when I peeked through the gap between the door and the floor, I could see Tateha’s shoes.

“Hey, open up.”

I kicked the door with a bang.

A small voice came from inside, and then the lock slowly clicked open.

Tateha didn’t seem to be using the restroom; instead, he was trembling, hugging his body without even lifting the toilet seat.

I entered the stall and locked the door behind me.

“Ruri…?”

There was something that had been bothering me for a while.

Why did Tateha call Nakatani and Sorimachi by their last names, but me by my first name?

Since I was the one actually doing the deeds, shouldn’t he show me more respect?

“What are you doing sneaking out of class?”

“I’m sorry…”

Our conversation was far from established. However, considering what I did every day, it was only natural. Yet, where was this chill that felt akin to emptiness coming from?

It was as if I regretted not being able to talk to Tateha.

Now that I thought about it, it was rare for me to be alone with Tateha. We hardly spoke in class, and whenever I called him to the restroom, Nakatani and Sorimachi were always with us.

The moment self-study was announced, Nakatani had slumped over her desk as if she were taking a nap, and Sorimachi was engrossed with another group, so I couldn’t invite them this time.

I didn’t even understand why I had followed Tateha. I should have been having more fun with my friends doing fortune-telling.

“Um, Ruri…”

As I pondered this, Tateha suddenly began to undress.

As I watched the effortless disrobing before me, my heart began to race.

“I brought a swimsuit. Because you told me to…”

Underneath her shirt, she wore the school-designated swimsuit.

With tearful eyes, Tateha reached out to touch my hand. Her fingertips were burning hot, as if my own heart was melting away.

“I didn’t bring a mechanical pencil.”

“Oh, right…”

“I’m not in the mood for that right now.”

I pushed Tateha aside and sat down on the toilet seat. Tateha was floundering about, unsure of what to do.

“You’re in the way. Why don’t you go back to class?”

“Aren’t you going back, Ruri…?”

“I’m staying here.”

I was fully aware that Miyama Ruri was trusted, liked, and popular among my classmates. I wasn’t as heavy as Nakatani , nor did I have Sorimachi’s crooked teeth. My face was more attractive than average, and I was taller than most.

I worked hard in my studies and always turned in my homework before anyone else. Thanks to that, I received high evaluations from the teachers.

Yet, no one ever voiced my strengths.

Being cute was a given, being tall was a given. Being good at studying was a given, and turning in homework was expected. It was also true that I was somewhat tired of being treated that way.

It might be unreasonable to expect elementary school students to praise others’ efforts.

I just wanted someone to compliment me.

In a classroom where that wish couldn’t be fulfilled, it had become painful to keep smiling with a nonchalant face.

“Then I’ll stay here too.”

Tateha sat down in front of me. Leaning against the door, she hugged her knees and looked up at me.

—Ruri got a perfect score on the test!? Amazing!

I felt like someone had said that to me once, but I couldn’t recall who the voice belonged to at that moment.

“Go away… what are you doing…?”

I wasn’t used to being in the same space as Tateha. I had always filled the time by stabbing her with a mechanical pencil or hurting her, so being together like this without doing anything felt utterly awkward.

If Nakatani were here, she would have held me down right away.

If Sorimachi were here, he would have started hurling insults immediately.

Then I would simply have to dirty my hands according to the dice that were thrown.

Just being alone with her made me feel so rusty.

And so, Tateha and I held our breath in the restroom stall until the chime signaling the end of class rang.

When recess began, Nakatani and Sorimachi came to the restroom looking for me.

They opened the door and called out to me. As Nakatani and Sorimachi rushed over, they wore distorted smiles that looked like they might split their faces. The moment I saw that, I was struck by a sensation that made every hair on my body stand on end.

“Hey, you two, you finally made it?”

I could feel my personality swapping, aware of it to a degree. However, there was no way to control it.

Desires and instincts swelled beyond my consciousness.

“I was getting tired of waiting. So, Nakatani , instead of holding him down today, let’s do some ground techniques. Really squeeze his neck. You can’t do that in a judo match, right? You can do whatever you want now. Oh, but don’t kill him, okay?”

As I issued the command, Nakatani huffed and pulled Tateha’s arm, slamming him to the floor.

“By the way, Sorimachi, did you hear that story? This guy always gets his clothes bought by his dad. That’s why they’re all so lame.”

“Wow, seriously? That’s news to me. But what does it mean to have your dad buy your clothes? Where’s his mom? Oh, could it be! Is he one of those ‘mizushoubai’ types? I saw that on TV once. Just don’t steal our lunch money, okay? Hahaha!”

Sorimachi continued to hurl insults, all directed not at Tateha but at his parents. Tateha bit his lip in frustration.

“Alright, then today, let’s see how long he can hold his breath!”

And so I declared.

The peaceful atmosphere that had lingered in this stall was already rewritten.

This is hell.

We are the demons.

“…Ah, Ruri—no… stop… haah—!”

I pressed down on Tateha’s head as he tried to escape from Nakatani ‘s grip.

Watching Tateha lick the restroom floor, tears and snot dripping down, I felt my heart cleanse itself.

And I faintly understood.

This hell could never be recreated alone.

It was only when the three of us—Nakatani , Sorimachi, and I—were together that this hell truly came to fruition.