Irreversible Sadism (GL) - Chapter 9
Tateha’s room was adorned with colorful decorations in shades of pink and green.
Three identical color boxes were lined up, filled with books and towels. In the center of the room, a pink round table held a small mirror, lotion, and toner.
The room, rich in natural colors reminiscent of insects passing through grass and flowers, exuded an overall gentle atmosphere.
“I brought my notebook, but I’ll just leave it here. My handwriting isn’t very good, so it might be hard to read,” Ruri said.
“That’s not true at all. Thank you, Ruri-chan.”
At the head of the bed where Tateha sat, there was a deodorizer with a soap scent, next to it an apple-themed alarm clock and a light blue tissue box. The sight of several crumpled tissues suggested that she might have had a runny nose.
“Are your parents working?”
“Yeah. My mom works both morning and night. She comes home while I’m asleep, and when I wake up, she’s already gone. My dad isn’t around anymore because they divorced.”
“I see. Don’t you feel lonely? With no one at home?”
Tateha’s last name changed when she was in the fourth grade. I hadn’t seen her by then, but I remembered catching a glimpse of her gym uniform with a different name as we passed each other in the hallway.
I had assumed she must have gone through a divorce, and it seemed I was right.
“At night, just a little. But if I turn on the TV, it gets lively. I also play the radio when I take a bath. So, I’m okay.”
Tateha shared her favorite variety shows and recommended radio programs. When I said, “I know that one. I like it too,” she blushed with delight.
“You like music, right? What kind do you listen to?”
“Mostly drama theme songs and stuff like that. I don’t really pay attention to genres, but I think I like ballads. I tend to listen closely to the lyrics. I don’t really listen to rap because I find the lyrics hard to catch.”
“Really? If you don’t mind, could you tell me about your favorite music? I’d love to listen too!”
Clearing her throat softly, Tateha got off the bed and came closer.
While I opened an app on my phone, Tateha kept adjusting the cooling sheet on her forehead, seemingly uncomfortable with its placement.
“Once you start worrying about that kind of thing, you can never find the best position, right?”
“Ah, were you watching? That’s so embarrassing!”
As Tateha curled up, covering her forehead with both hands, I played my favorite music.
As the intro began with an acoustic guitar, Tateha closed her eyes and listened intently. I watched her closely.
Tateha’s eyelashes always curled in the humidity, making me wonder if she had applied makeup, but since she had been bedridden all day, it was likely that her natural lashes were just naturally upturned.
With her eyes closed, Tateha’s face transformed from its usual soft demeanor to one that was intellectual and beautiful. As I observed each feature, her eyes suddenly snapped open.
Our gazes collided, and I instinctively leaned back in shock. Tateha, however, appeared unfazed.
“This is an amazing song. It makes me feel a bit lonely, but also hopeful… Ugh, I’m not good at putting these feelings into words.”
“I think it’s best to express what you feel as it is. You don’t have to articulate it perfectly. I’m glad you liked it, Tateha.”
“I’ll start listening to it from today. Oh, but I haven’t installed any apps yet. Is your app paid?”
“It is, but the first month is free. You should just install it for now, and if you like it, you can subscribe. It’s 980 yen a month, so it depends on whether you think that’s expensive or cheap.”
“I see… What was the name of the app again?”
“Um, it’s this one.”
As I tried to show her my phone screen, Tateha leaned in to peek at her own phone, and we almost bumped heads. I could feel her breath right in front of me.
The heat from the oil heater distorted the air, creating a sensation that the space between Tateha and me had suddenly become thick and sticky.
“I’ve installed it! I’m going to listen right away!”
Watching Tateha flick through her phone excitedly, adding songs to her playlist, I felt a warmth spreading in my nose.
“Ruri-chan.”
She called my name.
In a friendly, buoyant manner.
Tateha’s bedhead bobbed like an antenna. If it were to express her feelings like a dog’s wagging tail, I wanted to believe it meant she was happy.
Feeling delighted, I cheerfully replied, “What is it?”
My cheeks sensed the upward curve of my smile, and my eyes narrowed in response.
“I want you to do something.”
Tateha’s eyes glistened with moisture.
The surface reflecting the light shimmered, mirroring me like a troubled moon.
“Is that okay?”
Sitting in seiza, Tateha tightly clenched her fists on her thighs.
At first, when she said she liked pain, I thought she might be a bit strange. I couldn’t deny that I questioned her mindset.
I knew there were people in this world who could casually say they enjoyed seeing bl00d or watching others suffer, and the media had made it clear that such people were generally villains.
So, I worried that Tateha might be one of them.
But Tateha was different from those people.
“I like pain. I want you to do it. Please, Ruri-chan.”
When she said that, she always looked embarrassed, her face downcast. She was aware that it was not a normal request, and yet she asked me.
“When I see you, Ruri-chan… I can’t hold back.”
With her face flushed crimson, she looked up at me with pleading eyes, and I answered.
“Okay. What do you want to do today?”
Because I knew it must take courage to ask.
Just like confessing to someone you like, exposing your innermost self to another person is undeniably embarrassing. I wasn’t so drained of bl00d that I could disregard that.
“Um…”
As Tateha took off her outer shirt and lifted her top, I was taken aback.
Her skin, as white as untouched virgin snow, was exposed in the two of us alone in the room, and I felt as if the scent of the deodorizer had intensified.
If that scent was not from the deodorizer but from the shampoo Tateha used, my head spun.
Amid the sound of lonely raindrops hitting the window, Tateha pointed to her stomach and said, “I want you to press on my stomach.”