I’ve been stripped of my place in the world, and I’m so tired of life that I’ve decided to die! Goodbye, everyone! Whatever happens next, I don’t care anymore. - Chapter 3

I followed Dolman into Fudra’s room.

He’s sulking, I thought. Sulking because he was exiled from the party and because I dumped him.

Sure, he was kind. But as a man, he lacked… charm.

It couldn’t be helped. I decided I’d wake him up and lecture him. Yes, that’s what I’d do.

But then Dolman turned pale and dashed forward.

He was holding Fudra—Fudra, hanging lifelessly from the ceiling.
This isn’t real. This can’t be real.

Fudra, why?

Was it because I left you? Was it because you were cast out of the party?

Did you… try to take your own life?

While Dolman shouted instructions to Elza and Cecilia, I just stood there, frozen.

Because if Fudra was dead, it was my fault.

Not just because I dumped him. Because I was so cold to him.
“He’ll be fine, right? He’s not dead… right?”

Cecilia, our Saintess and an expert in healing magic, was here. Surely she could save him.

But then…

“It’s too late,” Dolman said, his voice hollow. “Fudra is already gone.”

“No… no! That can’t be true!”

Elza, usually so composed, was crying, her voice trembling.
“He was alive yesterday… Yesterday, he was here, smiling through the sadness. Alive!”

Elza broke into sobs. Cecilia, desperate, kept casting healing spells, over and over, as if sheer willpower could bring him back.

But Fudra didn’t wake up.

He’s… dead.

“AHAHAHAHA! FUDRA IS DEAD! HE’S REALLY DEAD!”

Dolman’s hysterical cries echoed in the room. He was screaming and sobbing like a madman.

Why?

Why did you have to die, Fudra?

Was it because I dumped you?

Because you were exiled from the party?

“Why didn’t I think this could happen?”

Fudra was always kind, always thoughtful. He cared about us so much.

“How was he when we were together?”

Even when I was being selfish and difficult, he treated me like a treasure.

Even when I shouted at him, even when I slapped him, he only smiled.

If I did that to Dolman, he’d never forgive me.

But Fudra… Fudra always reached out to me when I felt unloved.
“You’re never alone. I’ll always be here for you,” he would say.
It was Fudra who comforted me.

“Did I really love Dolman?”

Probably not.

I was chasing a title: the Hero’s lover.

I was competing with Elza and Cecilia as a woman, desperate to be seen as their equal.

But did I ever truly love Dolman?

I don’t know.

What I do know is that Fudra loved me. He loved me more than anyone ever had.

And what did I do?

I dumped him. And not just as a lover—I abandoned him as a childhood friend, too.

“I agree with Dolman! You can’t keep up with the party anymore. You’ll just end up dead or seriously injured… You should quit now. I’m saying this for your own good.”

“Isabel… I get it. I’m not needed anymore, am I?”

“That’s not true! I…”

“It’s fine. I’m not needed. I get it… it’s fine.”

“I’m sorry.”

I hurt him.

No, it’s more than that.

“I know you’re with Dolman now. But I thought we were still friends. Still childhood companions. Was I wrong?”
“You knew?”

“If it’s Dolman, I can’t blame you. He’s a Hero. He’s incredible. I can accept that. I don’t even want to be your lover anymore. I just… wanted to stay as your friend. Was that too much to ask?”

“I’m sorry!”

“I see. Don’t worry about it anymore… I’m sorry for troubling you.”

I didn’t just hurt him. I took everything from him.

His place in the party. His friendships. His hope.

It wasn’t Dolman who killed him.

It wasn’t Elza or Cecilia.

It was me.

I killed Fudra.

The childhood friend who loved me. The man who cherished me.
I killed him.
What should I do now?

Even if I leave Dolman, Fudra will never come back.
There’s nothing I can do to make up for this.

I was an idiot. I not only broke up with him—I took away his place as a friend, as a companion.

That’s why Fudra died.

Because of me.

“It’s my fault Fudra is dead… Oh, Fudra, I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!”

“Thank you for everything… Goodbye, everyone. I love you all.”
That’s what he said as he left us. Smiling through his tears.
Why didn’t I realize it?

Why didn’t I understand what his goodbye meant?

Looking back, it’s so obvious. He’d already decided to end his life.

And even after everything we did to him, he still said, “I love you.”

Fudra… I’m sorry.

What am I supposed to do now?

I don’t know what to do anymore.

I can’t even bring myself to approach his grave.

All I can do is watch from afar, unable to move, unable to do anything.