Lady By The Pillow - Chapter 39

Chapter 39: Ice Pack (Part 2)

“A-Qing, can I?”

“Shi-laoshi, can you help me with an ice pack?”

Wei Jiuqi’s voice pulled Shi Qing out of her self-reflective spiral. Her beautiful eyes widened as she turned to see Wei Jiuqi looking at her, a faint finger mark on her left cheek.

Startled, she picked up the ice pack wrapped in a face mask and gently placed it against Wei Jiuqi’s red and swollen mouth.

“Hiss.” Wei Jiuqi winced in pain.

“I’m sorry. Just bear with it for a moment,” Shi Qing said, softening her touch.

Old Lady Time stole each second, forgetting to leave behind the sound of her footsteps. The small lounge fell into a silent void, so quiet it was unsettling.

The silence bred a certain kind of feeling, especially between two people who once knew each other’s bodies so intimately. Even though there was a person’s length of space between them, they could almost hear each other’s heartbeats.

Wei Jiuqi felt guilty. Fei Ying’s emotions, to be honest, were tied to her machinations. If Fei Ying hadn’t seen that scene, she would have probably visited the set openly and might have even confessed her feelings. And Shi Qing, who was still helping her with the ice pack, might have already had the title of “Fei Ying’s girlfriend.”

In a way, Fei Ying was special to Shi Qing. After all, she was the first person Shi Qing loved in her youth. Whether she was a ‘pure first love’ or a ‘memorable heartbreak,’ she was someone etched into the gears of life.

But Wei Jiuqi wasn’t a good person. She was jealous—crazy with jealousy. Because Shi Qing still held on to that special memory of Fei Ying, which made Fei Ying’s pursuit so effortless.

As she pondered, her gaze lowered. Her thick eyelashes cut the light into fragmented rays, and her pupils shattered along with it.

“That call just now was from Fei Ying, wasn’t it?” she asked in a low voice.

Shi Qing paused. “Yes,” she said.

There was no point in hiding it.

“You wanted to ask her out for a meal. What did she say?” Wei Jiuqi continued to ask.

“She had to attend a social event, so she couldn’t make it,” Shi Qing answered honestly.

“Oh, I see. I was going to tell you about a great restaurant I know,” Wei Jiuqi said, a complete lie, though she was humming a happy tune in her heart.

But Shi Qing said, “Which one? Just send me the name.”

The happy tune in her heart came to an abrupt halt. “But she’s not coming?” she asked.

Shi Qing took out her phone. “No, but she said she’ll come and visit after she’s done with her book tour.”

Wei Jiuqi’s breathing grew heavy. She saw that Shi Qing had already opened a food app, just waiting for her to tell her the name of the restaurant so she could save it.

“I went there a long time ago. I kind of forgot the name. I’ll have to ask Yu Lan when I get back.”

Shi Qing looked at her. She couldn’t see any emotion in her lowered eyelashes, so she could only guess that Wei Jiuqi was not in a good mood, and wonder how much of that mood was related to her.

She thought of countless possibilities, but in the end, it all came down to a simple, unfamiliar thought:

“Okay.”

But Wei Jiuqi’s heart felt like a stone in the sea, sinking deeper and deeper after being tossed from the ship’s bow.

The jumbled emotions in her chest were like a traffic jam on a Beijing overpass during rush hour. She swallowed them down, not letting them explode—if she gave in to that impulse from that night again, Shi Qing would completely abandon her.

“Do you still really want to be with her?”

After asking that, Wei Jiuqi wanted to slap herself twice. How was this any different from pushing Shi Qing toward Fei Ying?

Shi Qing was also taken aback. After their last argument, Wei Jiuqi had never brought up Fei Ying.

It was a thorn—the thorn of “I’m just her stand-in.”

“Why are you suddenly asking that?”

Wei Jiuqi bit the bullet and said, “It just came to mind. Just asking.”

Shi Qing was silent for a moment before saying, “Maybe. But right now, I just want to focus on my acting. I don’t have time to think about relationships.”

Wei Jiuqi looked up at her. “Why don’t you have time?”

Shi Qing explained, “I’m very busy every day.”

“But no matter how busy you are, you’re always very organized. It’s not hard for you to make half an hour for yourself.”

“Maybe, but I don’t have the energy. I don’t want to think about it.”

This was the key. She didn’t want to think about it. She was avoiding it, hiding from it, running from it. Even though love was celebrated by countless people throughout history, it seemed like poison to Shi Qing.

Wei Jiuqi’s gaze was fixed on the person in front of her. She had such beautiful, passionate, enchanting, and pure eyes, and she had acted out so many unforgettable loves on film, yet she was castrating her own love life.

Did she simply not want to fall in love, or did she not want to fall in love with a certain person?

Her hand trembled. She raised it and placed it on the hand that was helping her with the ice pack. She pressed it firmly against her face and stared into Shi Qing’s passionate eyes, questioning,

“Can I?”

The sudden physical contact made Shi Qing’s heart race, but it only lasted for a second before her reason issued a command to resist. She tried to pull her hand away, but couldn’t.

“Let go of me.”

Wei Jiuqi held her hand, staring intently at her, her eyes full of earnestness.

“A-Qing, can I?”

Shi Qing pulled her hand away with force. The ice pack fell from her palm and rolled a dozen times on the floor before hitting the wall.

Thud!

The sound of the hard object hitting the wall jolted Wei Jiuqi awake. Her body flinched.

“Wei-laoshi, you’re not making sense,” Shi Qing said, turning her face away. Her tightly pursed lips showed strong resistance.

Wei Jiuqi clutched the fabric of her pants, using the best acting of her life to hide the unnatural look on her face.

“I’m sorry. I got a little carried away just now.”

She paused, then added, “I’m not usually like this. If I scared you, I apologize. I’m sorry.”

Wei Jiuqi’s apology was more sincere than the polite ones used in the workplace. Most people would just say, “I apologize,” but Wei Jiuqi would always follow it up with “I’m sorry.”

Shi Qing didn’t continue to be angry. She glanced at the door; it was closed. Only then did she relax a little and say,

“Sometimes, I don’t know how to face you.”

Wei Jiuqi watched her expression, trying to figure her out. “Really? Is there something I did wrong?” she asked.

Shi Qing couldn’t bear to blame her. “No, I’m the one who’s not good enough.”

Wei Jiuqi quickly said, “No, you’re not. I’ve never felt that way when I’m with you.”

Shi Qing ran the tip of her right index finger up and down the nail of her left thumb. On the fortieth time, she took a deep breath, her soft chest rising slightly. She turned to look at Wei Jiuqi and said,

“I think from now on, we shouldn’t be alone in a room anymore, okay?”

It sounded like a question, but it was already a decision.

Wei Jiuqi was speechless. Seeing the expression on Shi Qing’s face, she knew that whatever she said next would be useless.

She gave a self-deprecating smile.

“But, didn’t we just talk this morning? You said you didn’t hate me. You said it yourself.”

“This isn’t about hate,” Shi Qing said calmly.

“Then why are you avoiding me?” Wei Jiuqi didn’t understand.

This question stumped Shi Qing.

“I don’t know either.”

She only knew that she couldn’t allow herself to fall so deeply.

It was clearly an abyss, a lightless hell, and she couldn’t go there.

Her eyes looked down, and the black lines in the floor tiles seemed to be cutting her into pieces.

“When I figure out the answer, I’ll tell you, okay?”

Wei Jiuqi felt a little wronged. She had just confirmed that Shi Qing didn’t hate her, and Shi Qing had even personally helped her with the ice pack. She thought their relationship could just continue to improve naturally. But then Fei Ying made one phone call, and they were back to square one.

Or maybe Shi Qing’s change had nothing to do with Fei Ying. Maybe it was just because of her—because of her youthful impulsiveness, because of her spoken “Can I?” which was as good as a confession, because of all the qualities she had that didn’t align with maturity and stability.

Thinking this, the feeling of self-loathing resurfaced.

But Shi Qing had told her herself that she didn’t hate her and had “never hated” her, even after all the terrible things she had done.

But if it wasn’t hate, then why was she avoiding her?

A-Qing, what do you feel for me?

“Then you can eat here.”

Wei Jiuqi’s mind was a mess, but her actions were the most obedient they’d ever been. Or rather, she would cooperate with anything Shi Qing wanted—this was based on the fact that Shi Qing didn’t hate her.

“I’ll go eat in the RV. You can rest after you’ve eaten. We have a lot more scenes to film this afternoon.”

Shi Qing didn’t look at her; she just stared at the fuzzy fibers on the tablecloth.

“Okay.”

Just as Wei Jiuqi picked up her lunch box and was about to go through the door, Shi Qing called out to her.

“Wei-laoshi.”

Wei Jiuqi half-turned and looked at her, but all she saw was Shi Qing’s pursed lips.

“What I said just now might have been a little harsh. Don’t take it to heart, and don’t let it make you hate yourself like before, okay?”

If she hadn’t said that, it would have been fine, but after she did, Wei Jiuqi wanted nothing more than to turn around, hug her, and press her against the wall to kiss her. She wanted to question her—why did she keep pushing her away when she so clearly cared?

But she didn’t. If she had, A-Qing would have truly hated her.

As soon as she got into the RV, her phone rang. It was Wei Shu, who had left sometime earlier. The message was an incomplete two-second voice message. She opened it and listened.

“You’ve got good taste.”

Good taste?

Whose taste? What kind of taste? She didn’t say.

Wei Jiuqi was already annoyed, and this incomplete message just made it worse. She held down the voice message button.

“What’s wrong? What’s wrong with my taste…”

Halfway through, a shooting star flashed in her mind, and she suddenly understood.

She slid her thumb up to cancel the message.

She had told Wei Shu about Shi Qing before and asked her to be careful with her expression so as not to scare her. Wei Shu’s reaction had been, “She’s not that charming.” But after just one scene, Wei Shu sent her, “You’ve got good taste.”

In an instant, the ascetic monk who had battled through thorns and mountains found a soulmate. Someone finally understood. They understood the spell Shi Qing had cast on her, the one she couldn’t break no matter how much she used her rationality and coldness. They understood that Shi Qing was one of a kind.

A single glance, and the rest of your life is consumed.

She knew that the proverb “mother and daughter are one in heart” was absolutely right.

However, the next message came right after, also a voice message.

“But you want to win her over? You’re in for a long struggle.”

Wei Jiuqi gritted her teeth.

Sometimes, a mother and daughter aren’t of one heart after all.