Lady By The Pillow - Chapter 53

53 Concern (1)

…

“I’m soaked.”

“You’re not Xiao Jun, and I’m not Yu Qing.”

The words played on a loop in Shi Qing’s mind, like a radio in her head.

Even after Wei Jiuyi left the hospital room at the end of the lunch break, called away by Zhang Yulan, the words still echoed.

What did “You’re not Xiao Jun, and I’m not Yu Qing” mean?

Why would she say that out of nowhere?

Xiao Jun and Yu Qing had at least been in a real relationship. She and Wei Jiuyi had never been together, only maintaining a year-long physical arrangement. How could that be elevated to the level of love?

What did Wei Jiuyi want to tell her?

Was she saying that she had actually fallen for her?

No, Wei Jiuyi wasn’t that impulsive. She was just unwilling to accept that Shi Qing had unilaterally ended their arrangement. She was unwilling to accept that a free-flying bird had been kept in her cage for two years. She was unwilling to accept that someone she had been intimate with was now in a relationship with another person that might rekindle old flames.

Love was terrifying; it would never exist between them.

Love’s bitterness comes from the loss of self-awareness and the denial of self-worth. Once you give your heart away, you give the other person the power to hurt you. That pain could rival any disaster in the world, and it could destroy her entire world.

If Wei Jiuyi ever asked her what was so scary about love, she would tell her directly:

It kills people.

The most direct way to kill a woman is to make her believe in love.

It was impossible for Shi Qing to fall in love with anyone. In the future, when she was older, she would just find someone she felt comfortable with and spend her life with them—a peaceful, calm, and simple life.

She waited for Wei Jiuyi to ask.

But after saying that ambiguous sentence, Wei Jiuyi acted as if she had amnesia, never bringing up anything related to feelings again.

Not even a single message on WeChat.

At first, Shi Qing didn’t care because the time she wasn’t filming passed quickly.

She woke up at 6 a.m. every day and read English for 40 minutes. Then, she’d open the day’s entertainment news to catch up on the industry.

At 7:30 a.m., Dong Ya would bring her breakfast, usually a bowl of porridge and an egg.

At 8 a.m., she would get up and walk a few steps with her back brace. Sometimes Dong Ya would help her; other times, she would lean against the wall.

At 9 a.m., the doctor would do a routine checkup and start her IV drip. Shi Qing would open the acting lessons on her tablet, studying while the IV was administered.

At 12 p.m., she would have lunch. It was usually the medicinal broth that Dong Ya cooked for her in the hotel’s small kitchen to help her recover after surgery.

At 1 p.m., Shi Qing would write notes on her acting lessons in a notebook while Dong Ya applied a hot compress to her swollen left hand where the IV had been.

At 2 p.m., she would have physical therapy. The doctor was very responsible, adjusting the physical therapy plan every day based on her morning checkup to ensure the wound was healing while Shi Qing’s body could handle it.

At 4 p.m., after physical therapy, Shi Qing would walk slowly in the hallway outside her room. At first, her back still hurt, and she needed Dong Ya’s support, but a week later, the pain had significantly lessened, and she could walk while leaning on the wall by herself.

At 5:30 p.m., she would have dinner. Sometimes Wei Jiuyi finished work early and would come with Zhang Yulan or their friend Fang Fei. A group of people would gather around Shi Qing, talking about funny things from the set. It was a little noisy but made her happy.

At 6 p.m., she would read the script. Two full weeks of filming had been delayed. When she returned, the crew would definitely have to work overtime to catch up, so she memorized her lines in advance, especially the long ancient texts. After memorizing two pages, she would have Dong Ya check her recitation.

At 10 p.m., the doctor would come for rounds and ask about her condition for the day.

At 10:10 p.m., she would read a book. Shi Qing liked reading biographies, whether of entrepreneurs or novelists. She enjoyed reading about how a person started with nothing, overcame obstacles, and finally achieved success. She thought maybe she would have a day like that too.

At 11 p.m., she would turn off the lights and go to sleep. Before going to bed, she would sometimes see Wei Jiuyi’s social media posts. The person who never posted suddenly posted every day, with nine pictures and a long caption. “Stuffed myself with a pound of beef today,” “Got my costume stuck today and the costume designer laughed at me for a long time,” and even “I stubbed my toe on the curb” would become a post, as if she was afraid people wouldn’t know what she was up to.

Or perhaps, it wasn’t “people,” but “a certain person.”

Shi Qing would just click “read full text,” but she wouldn’t like or comment, leaving no trace that she had been there.

She would click on the profile picture and enter their chat. She scrolled up several times, and the chat history was still from two weeks ago, from their joint interview:

Me: I’m here. Have you gone in?

Shi Qing had replied to her at the time, saying:

I’ll be there soon. Wait a moment.

So much had happened since then, but not a single message was sent—

Even after saying that “You’re not Xiao Jun, and I’m not Yu Qing.”

So many words were spoken in person, but after leaving, there was nothing.

Strange.

“Sister, are you still awake?” Dong Ya turned over and saw that Shi Qing still had her phone on.

“Oh, almost asleep.” She quickly switched out of WeChat and opened a random app on the screen.

“Are you not sleepy?” Dong Ya asked again.

“A little,” Shi Qing said, treating the trending topics on Weibo like a hot pot.

Dong Ya glanced at her phone. It was 11:30 p.m.

“Sigh, I’m not sleepy either.”

Shi Qing changed the subject. “Why aren’t you sleepy?”

Dong Ya said, “Maybe that medicinal broth we had for dinner was too nourishing. I feel a little hot now. Are you hot?”

“A little.” Shi Qing had also learned to lie without blinking.

“But that stuff is good for you. I’ll continue to cook it for you tomorrow; I’ll just eat less. Yulan is really sincere. She had her family send so many herbs; they weren’t cheap.”

“When I’m discharged, I’ll get her a gift as a thank-you.”

“That’s a good idea. She likes a specific video game character figurine. I’ll send you the info later.”

“Mhm, okay.”

“Sigh…”

“Why the sigh?”

“Nothing, I was just thinking that she works so hard. The crew is still working overtime right now. She and 97 have to pull an all-nighter tonight.”

“An all-nighter?”

Shi Qing was surprised. Fan Erhua’s crew never pulled all-nighters. It was almost midnight, and they hadn’t finished. This was unprecedented.

“Why are they pulling an all-nighter? Director Fan doesn’t like them.”

Dong Ya put her hands under her head and wiggled her feet toward the ceiling.

“I don’t know the specifics. I think they said it’s going to rain heavily for the next few days, and there’s an outdoor scene they need to finish quickly.”

As she spoke, a flash of lightning appeared, and the silhouette of a windowpane was imprinted on the curtains.

“Oh my god, I think that was lightning!”

Dong Ya shot up into a sitting position.

“Did you see it, Sister?”

Shi Qing mumbled a “mhm,” and her hand subconsciously tightened around her phone.

“It should start raining soon.”

Just as she finished speaking, a rumble of thunder rolled in.

BOOM!

The intense sound almost shook the entire floor. Dong Ya nervously rubbed her knees.

“Jeez. Did they finish yet? The crew has so much equipment. Thunderstorms are really dangerous.”

Shi Qing’s expression was calm, completely like a bystander.

“They should be fine. Director Fan is very safety-conscious. They would have stopped filming once it started raining.”

But her hand tightened around her phone again.

Dong Ya sat on the family bed, secretly watching Shi Qing’s expression reflected in the phone’s light. Once she caught a hint of her unease, she lay back down in triumph.

“You’re right. They must have finished a long time ago. We just don’t know it. Sister Qing, you should get some sleep. I’m going to play a game.”

She turned her phone horizontally and opened a certain game.

There were no lights on in the hospital room. The only source of light was the one from the hallway that leaked in from above the door. Shi Qing lay on her side, her back to Dong Ya. The only light in her view was the one from the hallway. The light was usually enough for her to sleep, but at that moment, it felt harsh, like a thorn constantly poking her eyes.

The phone screen lit up again. The narcissus wallpaper on her home screen cast a pale yellow glow on her beautiful face. Her thumb hesitated before sliding up to unlock the phone. As if possessed, she opened the chat that had been untouched for two weeks.

As she hesitated, another thunderclap sounded outside the window. This time, the sound was even louder, as if it had split the sky open.

Her finger, hovering over the keyboard, finally pressed down.

You: I heard the crew has to work overtime today. Did you finish work yet?

Wei Jiuyi had just gotten out of the shower when she received the message. The hand holding the hairdryer stopped, and she turned it off.

What’s going on? It’s been an hour since we finished. Why is Shi Qing suddenly messaging me? Does she need me to do something?

Me: I’m back. What’s up? Do you need something?

She typed it, then deleted it. It was too blunt. It made it seem like she was being clingy.

After seeing Yu Qing that day, she had firmly decided to give Shi Qing some time to think. A relationship had to be flexible; you couldn’t push too hard. She had held back from messaging her for so many days. Even when she visited, she went with other colleagues, adhering to the principle of “don’t bother.” She even posted on her social media with “visible to only one person.”

Me: I finished a while ago.

Hmm, that’s better. Just answer the question. Don’t show concern.

Just as she was about to press send, a message from Dong Ya came in.

Xiao Ya: I told Sister Qing that you hadn’t finished yet, and she seemed really worried about you. The opportunity is right in front of you. Whether you make a move is up to you.

Well, would you look at that!

Wei Jiuyi’s eyes widened. She tilted her head and threw her dripping wet long hair to her back. The sudden movement startled Zhang Yulan, who was nearby. The orange in her hand almost flew out.

She deleted the previous message, “I finished a while ago,” and typed a new one.

Me: I just got back. I’m soaked.

Sure enough, “The other person is typing…” appeared at the top of the chat box. Soon, a new green chat box popped up.

A-Qing: Then you should go take a shower quickly. Even though it’s a little warm now, you can still catch a cold.

Wei Jiuyi held her phone with both hands, trying to suppress the corners of her mouth. She couldn’t, so she just let go and let her lips stretch into a wide grin. Her eyes, unable to contain her happiness, squeezed into a thin line.

Zhang Yulan, in the living room, was completely dumbfounded.

She didn’t eat any of the medicinal broth. Why is she so hyped up?

In the bathroom doorway, Wei Jiuyi’s entire back was soaked from her wet hair, but her attention was focused on the small screen of her phone.

Me: I told Yulan to go first. She’s not as healthy as I am.

“ACHOO!”

Zhang Yulan let out a loud sneeze. As she chewed on her orange, she wondered, I didn’t get rained on. Why am I catching a cold? I’ll have to get some of Teacher Shi’s medicinal broth tomorrow.